Looking back at my life because (I'm trying to figure out how I can help my son make friendships) I thought back to all of my male friendships and saw a pattern. All of them were competitive and they all ended when I stopped competing. I don't know if this is a toxic environment thing or a thing that was conditioned into my local community as an expected social norm or if this is just natural so I need to ask all of you - what is this? My first male friend was competitive on who could attention seek girls better. The 2nd was competitive on who could be tougher. The 3rd was competitive on a socio-economic level where when we got nice things we would brag about it, until he always had nicer things than me because I had kids and he didn't. My final male friend was competitive in the gaming and trading card games world and I had to compete against him in those things to keep his friendship.... Is this normal male to male bonding? If so, why?!?!?! Are girls this way? I am a non-compete kind of guy. I like collaboration and cooperation. I can compete when I have to, but I am not interested in competion. That's why I have a status quo job, I don't care to compete for higher pay when the current pay and responsibilities make my bills and give me a good quality of life.... But is this why my son and I have failed to make and keep friends? Because we won't compete?

ok im a cancer he's a virgo im 23 and my soon to be 32 year old boyfriend of 1 year dumped me while we were out "celebrating" the night before our anniversary so he surprises me by picking me up and taking me to a bar the night before he was even going to make a cake for me and as soon as we got there he started talking sh*t he started saying my lips where chapped so i grabbed my lip gloss and i re glossed my lips and he said it wasnt good enough then he saw i was pissed and started talking about how he's glad i finally got a nice weave and why didnt i get an expensive nice weave before now and my hair lately was looking dry old and ugly then i said "if you loved me at all you wouldnt be say this" and he said thats the problem i cant fall in love with you you think time equals love you and your parents both thing i need to be proposing and fallin in love because were at the one year mark and im not even close to that and started saying i let myself go i wasnt on his education level and i couldnt have a intellectual conversation with him if i tried because im still in college and he has 3 degrees so when we left the bar he started saying i wasted his money why would he spend all this money an a anniversary weekend and a gift for me and i cant even make him fall in love or "keep myself up" and i "used him " and dumped me he even told my parents he didnt want me anymore but i want him back cause i feel gulity for not being a better gf he doesnt even want to be friends or let me see his dogs!! and i loved his dogs & they loved me smh he also said we didnt have sex as much not because he was tired but because my weave was so bad and i was "musty" sometimes and he couldnt get into like that like he did when we first met bascially i wasnt the same girl and i didnt treat him right enough by only dressing up when we went out but not when i went to his house to chill anyways should i feel bad?? p.s I was never musty i always showered before i saw him wtf Its been 2 weeks since the breakup and i feel like im dying i have to get over him and his husky and german shepard but i finding it impossible to get over ive been begging him to let me see his dogs but its not working i feel depressed alone and like im not worthy of love at all i dont even know how i would attract another sucessful hot guy with dogs HOW DO I GET OVER HIM?

How would you deal with a person like that.

So I'm in secondary school and there's one guy (we'll call him A) in my class who always follows me in class and in the breaks. Always stays near me and sits next to me. He's way younger than the other guys and looks like a nerd. I want to stay with the other group of guys, so does my best friend (let's call him B) who is also with me but the group doesn't want A to sit with them either. Running from him won't work. Sitting with B and A makes me look like a retard, but I don't want to dick him over. I don't really have any other groups to sit with and he doesn't either. The group doesn't tell him to fk off but taking him with will make them look bad too, making me a dick. I don't want to hurt his feeling but messing up my social reputation in order to save this guy isn't an option either. What do I do? I'm really stuck. Ps: I helped this guy the first years, never really liked him but now being nice now ***** me over.

Ok, so there is this girl who stays at our house sometimes as she doesn't have a house. She eats our food and sleeps in one of our rooms. She came with a story that causes everyone to feel the need to take care of her because I think she lives in the past and thrives off of pity. I felt like every time I was alone with her there were not only two in the room. I felt like my spirit twisted inside of me and like I should run. I got close to her anyways because I don't trust feelings that could be biased before I get to know a person. She turned out to be extremely manipulative and somewhat violent. She harshly scolded me a couple times and I was finished w her. She blames her past on everyone and expects them to care. She makes the people who were not even a part of her past suffer and guilt trips them if she does not get what she wants or if they back away when she does something bad. She makes connections that make no sense and gets angry about hardly anything. My mom isn't comfortable either and has asked my dad to not let her stay anymore as she DOES have a lot of other connections, but I think she has manipulated my father w sweet-talk. It's so hard to leave my room when she comes which can be weeks at a time. The problem is I am a Christian and I don't feel right avoiding people--who God sees as my equal. The problem is I'm leaving to become an independent in a week and I have a family to spend time with before I go overseas but I cannot if I'm too busy hiding.

Her and dad divorced back in march. We still keep in touch and, invites me to lunch, or hangout with her and her daughter, so everythings fine in that area. Basically she was fussing at me about cleaning my rooms, and told me to text her pictures of it clean. Then she texted " I'm your step mom I get to be mean " Then after I cleaned my room and texted the last picture, she texted " Great, now good night, love you". She has never said that to me ever, not even when she was with my father. A few days after that, after I had an exam, she wanted me to text her afterwards to tell her how it went. Her response was " You were on my mind all day I wasn't sure, don't be discouraged because you failed, use that as motivation and just keep studying. So I texted " thanks I will. A few minutes later, I texted " Hey thank you for your support with this, love you. " She responded with " I'll always be there for you " ( That's something she always told me ). She didn't really say " love you back " so I am a tad bit confused. If she doesn't feel comfortable with that, or if she doesn't feel that way, I can respect that, but I believe she shouldn't have said it in the first place, as that's not entirely fair to myself. I know I should take her at face value, and I do trust her, but maybe she meant it in a friendly way and not a family way? Maybe she said it absentmindedly? She's a pretty affectionate person to, so I wouldn't think she has trouble expressing emotion. We stil hungout after this It didn't cause akwardness as we still spoke like normal afterwards.

Most of my life I have been a doormat. Have been getting so much better. I'm a quiet hard worker. I began standing up for myself at work, in a very professional non threatening way, and some are not having it! Outlandish lies and accusations. 1st evaluation in 9 yrs and its unreal. The writing is all over it. A disgruntled, alcoholic mgr, telling blatant lies. I feel like this is a crossroads. If I sign it I am selling my soul; I don't think I can do it. Support plz?

Are they paranoid?

so there's this coworker/manager at work. He started flirting with each other i became so emotional and falling for him. but end of the day after 3 months he was like abruptly emails me saying i am not the one for him he doesn't want to continue. When I asked the reason he was like I am stubborn for him and when I pleaded him he emails me saying: will you listen to whatever I say " I said yes. he started talking like send me my private pictures, be like a nasty slut to me and all that. I am heart broken. I listened and agreed to whatever he said I will do and I confronted him and asked if this is what you wanted then why you made me a fool of my emotions he says i am too crazy for him to deal with and he has tons and tons of women , he only wants me to be friendly (since we are co - workers he's manager) ps: he's 50 yrs old , divorced and a GF, i am married with kid and family

Calls the other grandparent and gets picked up~ I just took them to Disneyland. I feel she working it to get whoever and will do 'stuff' with them.

but I've made everything worse. I have no family. I have lost all my friends. I have not had a romance in many, many years. All I had was my business and now I am losing that. I'm too old to start over. What shall I do? How can someone try so hard to make their life better, and make such a mess? I tried to learn to speak up for myself and all I did was run everyone off. The only reason anyone had anything to do with me is because I put up with their crap, and when that stopped...Now I'm nothing. I was sure that was my life lesson, but now I've lost everything.

who I love and I don't want to live a lone (did that once) I don't have any children. I just don't know what to do my life feels empty. I am bored to tears and very unhappy. Any advice? Should I get out more? I feel lost I don't know what would be good for me.

If so which object were you spanked with?