I've taken 2 years off school to save. I'm super frugal, have a strict budget, a savings calendar, work 2 jobs and have 2 temp jobs. I should be able to pay for school (including residence, transportation, food, cell phone bill and text books!!!) in cash. All without out working for 2 whole years!!! HURRAY. I'm super, super proud of myself. As long as I finish this year while sticking to my savings calendar, I should be on track. Here's the thing, though. My dad had a heart attack, and I want to go back home to help out. This will require that I quit my jobs for several months. A friend revealed to me last year that she works as an online "sex worker". All she does is talk dirty to men online. No photos, no cameras, no voices. She loves the freedom it gives her. The boss gets paid, then pays the girls under the table. He doesn't even know the names of half the girls, so the chances of anyone finding out are low. The only disadvantage is that I'd have to work nights, almost always weekends. I might even get paid more because I speak 3 languages. But I have a boyfriend of 4 years, and we're very serious, to the point where we might get married. We MIGHT married. I love him. But I also love my dad, and prioritize school. The only way to help my dad and keep to my savings calendar is to take this sex chatting job. What do you think?

Im 45 years old, and was married to my ex wife for 16 years and i thought i was a good husband but i was wrong. She decided to divorce me a year ago and shortly after remarried (which led me to believe the guy she married was a part of it). We have 2 kids together, and honestly they are the only thing i care about now a days, i have my own hobbies and im probably never going to get married or date again (personal preference, the whole deal with my ex wife left me with a jaded view on relationships). So basically my problem is my ex wife thinking we are friends (the only reason i even talk to her is for the kids to see that we still get along), and trying to get me back into the dating world. every time she drops the kids off and she starts a little conversation which ends with her saying something about cute girl she knows whose single and my type. I told her before she doesnt need to help me in any way and that im fine but she insists that i get out there and start moving on (i already moved on). Shes even got my kids telling me about her single friends and im always left baffled/speechless. any ideas why she does this?

Really bothered. I've been with my Husband for 4 years now. He was married before me and the woman cheated on him with his best friends and lied about paternity of 2 of "their" kids. He divorced her but still have to remain in contact with her because they share 1 kid that really is his biological child. Anyways, they have been divorced since early 2009. I met my Husband in 2011. We fell in love and we recently married, I also moved in just a year ago. Upon putting my personal documents in his file cabinet, I came across his MARRIAGE license to his first wife! Not sure why he even has it! He also had tubs full of her stuff in the basement and claimed he didnt purposely keep it, it just got lost in the shuffle after they divorced. Anyways, I needed my Husband's external hard drive to load our daught's newborn pictures up and that's when I saw he had saved ALL of the photos he took when he was still married to his ex. There were pictures of their honeymoon, pictures of her giving birth to their 1st child (who turned out not to be his), of his then-wife completely naked and them doing sexual things to eachother. I was mortified!!!! He said he's had that hard drive while they were married and he hasnt had the time to go through & delete them all. But what really hurt me is my Husband doesn't take any pictures of me. At all. But every single one of his ex, he took. I got emotional because he looked so happy with her, but he refuses to take pictures with me. Am I being irrational? By the way he is COMPLETELY over his ex. Seriously. I just feel hurt that he was SO in love with her to the point where he'd take pictures of her laying on the bed, brushing her teeth, petting the dog, etc. But he doesnt take the initiative to take any of me. He claims he's not a "picture person" but then why did he take thousands of pics of his ex?

i got into a heated argument with my husband yesterday to the point he grabbed my hand and tried twisting my hand. He has never done that before so i reacted by slapping him because he wouldn't let go and he did it in front of my mom and my older brothers. He was upset because he had to pick me up from work early since i the work event ended up earlier. I drive by the event was far and thought it would be nice for once to rely on my husband. We have being arguing on monthly bases. We both have a lot of stressors because we have a special needs baby. But lately since he is in school part time I feel i don't count with his support as a wife or have his financial support. As a dad he is the best he can be and he takes my daughter to her doctors appointment since i am the one who has to work full time i can take them. Overall he has never worked full time and financially i carried all the financial stress. Lately is bothering me and the incident that happen yesterday really hurt me as it made realized that i really can rely on him but yet i have to pay everything and he is very comfortable driving my cars because he doesn't have one. I have to clean the house after i get to work because he doesn't clean the whole day, i have to cook, i have to pay bills. His excuse for not getting things done is "school". Should i divorced him?

I heard that no one can get married through court anymore ? just have a wedding or through church, is that true ? Because that is kind of dumb.

I know that white women like money despite the fact that black men are ugly to them.

I read youtube comment several guys commented that the girl in master chef was beautiful and a great cook she would make the perfect wife and then some feminist girl commented back sexist jokes are not funny and i want to know how is that sexist the guys were being serious Feminism can't change the way us guys think of how our women should be we like what we like you can't change that

My brother recently had a talk with my ex husband and I'm having a hard time understanding his feelings. My ex claims too still love me but because of the pain we both went through during our break up 6 years ago he can't admit to me or act on it. We do talk still and Iv recently open up to him about my feelings for him (which are strong still) but he says it's not right of him tell me either way how he feels. If he says he doesn't care I'll be sad but if he says he does care I'd want to jump right back in to being a couple. He's probably right about both. He is going through a break up right now that he wants but his girlfriend doesn't. he is very stressed out and feels awful for breaking another heart. When he visits with our child he choices to spend the time at my house. (mostly to make sure when his girlfriends home theres no fighting in front of our son.) I'm fine with him hanging out here but I know seeing him is hard on my heart. I know it's a long shot but ever since my brothers talk with my ex, I can't stop thinking could he really of divorced me but still had feelings. And could a person want someone but hold back because they want to do the right thing? I always thought if you cared for or loved someone nothing would get in your way.

My Ex Husband has a situation where he was dating while we married (going through a divorce) but bottom line is he was still MARRIED and was suppose to be so until I receive green card. There was no contact order placed on him and the girl (also army) He was datng. Since then he has gotten out of the military and now they are married!!! But they still had a no contact order! Can I call his command? How do I make sure they don't get away with this. Please help. now I am stuck. She is still in... Also I have no idea he was divorcing me and it was by publication. That is unfair and he knew where I lived. We were supposed to file contested.

My Ex Husband has a situation where he was dating while we married (going through a divorce) but bottom line is he was still MARRIED and was suppose to be so until I receive green card. There was no contact order placed on him and the girl (also army) He was datng. Since then he has gotten out of the military and now they are married!!! But they still had a no contact order! Can I call his command? How do I make sure they don't get away with this. Please help. now I am stuck.

My husband says I shouldn't be allowed to party, talk to other males, he said I'm only allowed to talk to guys if he is present, talk to people in general, doesn't allow me to go out at night. He said its disrespectful to him and our kids. Am I being disrespectful for wanting some me time? I love him so much and would never cheat on him but I just feel so suffocated

My husband and I are both 42 years old. Six months ago, he slept with one of his old girlfriends from high school and I was crushed. He apologized and was very regretful but I still had a lot of anger inside, so I ended up sleeping with this gorgeous 23 year old man at my gym. Tall, muscular, it was amazing sex...I feel good about it yet guilty at the same time. Am I just as sleazy as my husband or was it okay that I cheated back? Not actually at the gym, the man was from my gym. You people have dirty minds.

Say you walked in on your husband trying on your clothes, and he admitted he wants to play dress up with you. How would you feel? What would you do?

I'm a male, 18, and I know alot of guys can't wait to marry someone etc., but when I think about marraige, I don't feel pleasant at all, it's kind of scary for me. Anyone with similar feelings?

I believe they are an opportunity. After all, you wouldn't be fighting if you agreed on everything; so I argue INTENTIONALLY to understand everything I can from her point of view. I don't argue aggressively and use abuse; I just argue like I do on here, intentionally dismissing things so I can pull more information out of someone about their side. Too many people keep information to themselves thinking everyone knows what they know; so I argue with them, so I can see the things they are keeping to themselves. But this got me to wondering, do most people not see the benefits of a good healthy debate and argument? Has the political landscape tainted you with their mudslinging and the Fox News sensationalists got you all riled up in hate that you can't argue with intellectual intent? Has the sensational media taken over and you are now so extreme one way that you can't just argue with someone in hopes to discover a new truth in hopes to be closer to the facts? I guess I just don't see arguments as a bad thing. My wife on the other hand has a trauma from arguments, so arguing with her doesn't go over well since she's scared of arguments due to the war thing. Her Dad had to win fights. He didn't care about my MIL, he just dominated her. So I understand the fear of arguments due to abuse culture and the "obey my authority" mentality of the 1950's; but argument is healthy and can actually lead to a much higher level of connection if you do it properly. What's your belief?

He keep saying he want a divorce so I'm going to give him one . We have a 5 month old daughter and I take care of her 24/7. Even when he is home he don't do any thing. He is in the army and I am a stay at home mom and we live in hinesville Ga. I don't mind him seeing her if we do get a divorce but he trying to take her away from me. I'm the one who take cares of her he don't do nothing. I ask him can he change her diaper and he says no. He don't do nothing. He is so immuture. I just want to know my rights

Okay, so I couldn't think of a good catch question to start this question but here's what I'm saying: A lot of you believe in the concept/system of "respect". I don't entirely understand this concept, but what it appears to be relating to is giving personal space (boundaries) between you and a person/object to protect it from YOU and to not disturb it except on an intellectual or observant level. Like I said, I don't completely get it because it sounds like a bunch of crap. Some people believe "respect" has to do with position in the hierarchy and the rank in a given society/community/religion/family. So you have "earned" respect by doing things for other people FIRST and for investing in yourself first so you can be respected... Again, I don't agree with this definition either. So, while "respect" seems like a pretty arbitrary thing to me, it is very real and "true" to you. But here's my argument, if I don't believe in respect, and my wife doesn't believe in respect, does that mean that respect doesn't exist and it's not a construct that we have to abide by WITH EACH OTHER? Clearly all of you are going to hold me accountable, and professionals are going to demand it (or feel worthy of it at least), but what if I don't believe in it? Now what? Can you "love" your spouse without "respect" but also without "disrespect"?

My husband asked for a divorce and I asked him why, he avoided the question and I am just baffled why he wants a divorce because it was out of the bloom, this is the guy who, tells me he loves me every morning and night and didn't change his behavior recently. We have intercourse often( he usually initiates it so I am guessing he is not gay) and are even trying for a baby. We certainly don't have any money problems and don't even fight and we communicate perfectly fine . I am so devastated and I just want to know why he wants a divorce.

My husband always had some other woman he talks to on Facebook. He will flirt with her a little, especially if he's been drinking. He'll get bored with one and find another one. There is one woman whom he talked to before he and I were married, and he still converses with her from time to time. She is pretty pathetic. She knows he's married to me, yet she still hopes that he has feelings for her and will one day leave me for her. They did attempt to have sex one night, but he couldn't perform because he says she is very unattractive. And it seems ALL of the women he ends up talking to are unattractive. I don't think I'm a beautiful woman by any means, but I feel I am on a different level than the women he talks to. I don't believe my husband would ever physically cheat on me, and he doesn't take things too far with these women via chatting. At first it drove me crazy, and we fought about it a lot, but I've learned to accept that it's just who he is. Maybe an addiction? Maybe I've just given up on getting him to stop. Why women that he says himself aren't attractive? I don't get it, a little insight would be great! He doesn't chat with them all day, every day. Just occasionally. Fighting and threatening did nothing. I have nowhere to go, it's my house, and I can't kick him out. I believe in picking your battles. If he didn't allow me to read the conversations if I ask, and the conversations got out of hand, then it would be a different story. We do lack in communication, some. Though we do email and text all day and have from the first day we met. It's hard to get him to talk about real things. As far as sex goes, no problems in that department. I'm not really upset about it, anymore. And when it did bother me it was the fact that he was talking to another woman, not what she looked like. It's just an observation I've made since I stopped worrying about it so much. Why make me jealous, though? I don't understand why a spouse would want to make the other jealous....

Marriage nearing my future, the thought crossed my mind about legal documents. I understand changing them can be a hassle, as well has changing bank information and names on credit cards, ect. I'm teetering on the idea of keeping my maiden name. I have no intention of having kids, made that clear with him from the beginning, so having a different last name wouldn't be as big of a problem for me. Other than legal documents, why do some people choose not to change last name? Personally, I feel as if changing any part of my name changes who I am. Sounds crazy, I know. That's just how I perceive it. A name is given to each person, if you change that you change who you are. Hard to explain how I think about this, but that's the best way I can think of explaining it. I feel like I would be changing myself for my future husband, and I don't want to do that. Found out I'm not the only one who feels this way... should have googled this before asking a question and using 5pts. Oh well. Thanks for the answers! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/reflective-bride/why-im-not-changing-my-la_b_5172581.html

Your husband is at work and you know he's in a rotten mood through text messages. You don't want him to ruin your night so you put on that hot little number in the closet, quickly send the kids to their room to watch a movie, and you put a condom under his pillow. After your fun time, your husband no longer thinks about his bad day and you can now have your night and enjoy it. Welcome to behavior modification aka manipulation. But why is it so bad? When I think of abusive manipulation I think of it like this: Husband wants a new set of golf clubs. Wife controls the money and says "First you have to do the laundry, the trash, change the oil, and take the kids to the park while I get my hair done otherwise I'm going to spend all our money on a new dress for Friday". This isn't a compromise, this is extortion. This is 25 apples for 1 watermelon. And yes, I would see this as abusive. A compromise is supposed to be balanced AND have no consequences (or else). But manipulation in it's own right isn't a bad thing. We manipulate our children to do their homework. We manipulate spouses to give us sex. We manipulate spouses to take us on a date. I think manipulation has a bad name but it isn't a bad thing necessarily. How else can needs get met if we don't use our ability to use non-verbal communication and conscious efforts to manipulate it to come true? You manipulate yourself every time you watch a movie to get in a better mood. All we are doing is applying this logic to others. Google Sensei's definition - Manipulation is the skillful handling, controlling or using of something or someone. Whether it's the sculpture you made in art class or how you convinced your friend to do your homework — both are considered manipulation.

Like a rich doctor marrying hospital security. Is such things are common?

We are both still very young and he just left but I feel like he has childish priorities, is selfish, and can be mean and disrespectful. He is a kind of person where if its not his way than no way, or no one elses feelings really matter other than his. He seems to want to argue things when I want to talk about things that bother me, its more of a he wants to be right. Do not get me wrong, he has great qualities. But he seems to put himself first, and acts like he is in High School still (Though we both were just there not too long ago). But I am praying he gets through Boot Camp and comes out not a boy, but a man. Im just hoping some kind of mature change will have happened? Yes, no?

Well this week he has been weird. My girls ages are from 13, 9, and 6. We went out to eat lastnight and he was all quiet and acting weird. MY girls are loud and laugh loud, and talk loud. He was just there with a face. I asked him what was wrong after and he said that he didn't say nothing to us. So this morning I told him that I felt that he didn't want to be with us last night. His excuse last night is that he was tired. then he said that my girls were too loud etc. So then I told him that he should of said something to them and they would of listen. he said that's your job not mine, you are their mother. I feel he doesn't want to be part of their lifes like a step dad... am I wrong for feeling this way?? please help.

No wonder you people hate Generation Y so much. We are the first generation to be told that we need to be compassionate and empathetic people to other people's cultures, norms, beliefs, expectations, and living situations. And the only way to be compassionate and empathetic is to see things from all angles and points of view instead of JUST your own. Seeing JUST your own would be considered a "fixed camera" take on life; a first person viewpoint where you stay within your body and you don't empathize by "jumping" into other people's shoes.... This (believe it or not) is a skill I and my wife possess. We can see (if we are willing to try) everyone else's point of view since they have a "fixed" point of view like some of you do. This is why stereotyping is a huge key to our lives; people don't TRY to be a stereotype, but because of their fixed interests they become one. Kind of like my fixed interest on my marriage has made me a codependent and a sociopath (in your eyes - not mine). So if my wife isn't a "fixed" person and will change herself any way she needs to in order to avoid arguments and abandonment, does this make her mentally ill/unstable? And if I wasn't a "fixed" person and was changing myself to create the futures that I wanted to see created (I manipulate systems and environments), then does this make me mentally ill/unstable? And if we both were these "fluid" manipulators, does this make us incompatible or more compatible since we both refuse social constructs? P.S. - To say you want to "Fix" someone means that you want to make someone stay still in one position. When we think of the word in modern days, we think "fix something that's broken". But even broken things are usable the way they are, it just isn't the "fixed" the way we want it so it can represent what we wanted it to represent. So to say I wanted to "fix" my wife may be true, but only because I enjoyed her in one position and not the one she's in right now. She's not broken though.

My wife and my's sex life has taken a major hit over the years. We met when we were in our early 30's and now that we're both in our mid 40's things have gotten stale to her. Now we only have sex about once ever couple of months or so. She thinks we should be going at it like rabbits and ever time should be a magical, mystical, spiritual experience. I told her that life has and age has gotten in the way. My sex drive isn't what it use to be. She wants to always have these conversations about how we can fix it but she never wants to follow through on any of it. I'm not suggesting toys, public sex, or bringing anyone else in but the only thing I'm asking for is for her to initiate more. Her idea of initiating means coming into the bedroom after she showers and dropping her towel. I told her that I'm almost 50 years old and it takes a little more than that to get me going now, especially after 13 years together. It's like if you eat chicken every night for years you eventually get tired of chicken. That doesn't mean you get tired of eating, just not the same meal every time. Is a marriage any less than a marriage without sex? My wife feels that we're wasting our time. She wants us to do it like we're still in our 20's. Bodies age and the desire gets less and less with time. I really do think my wife wants me to fawn over her all day everyday so that she doesn't have to lift a finger to do anything, that way she'l have enough energy for sex at night. Oh, I've got to do all the foreplay to get her in the mood, then snuggle and cuddle with her so she feels appreciated afterwards.

For example: A. 18 year old girl & 37 year old guy, but look 4 years younger which mean he looks like he is in his 33 year old. 21 year old girl & 40 year old guy, but look 4 years younger which mean he looks like he is in his 36 year old. the question are: What are your thought on this? Will that work? How to make it work?

Yesterday I spent a long time trying to figure out how compatibility works and I don't know how it relates to my situation (hence this question). The gist of what I got was you take their personality, beliefs, identity, and ego then put it up against your personality, beliefs, identity, and ego; and if the pieces snap into place neatly with minimal friction then you two are compatible, if they don't then you two are incompatible.... Well I'm here today it doesn't work that way with us... Let me explain: I'm an identity fluid person. I change who I am based on my understanding of the world around me. The a**hole you dealt with a year ago is not the same a**hole I am today. Again, I'm fluid. I see how my behavior, my actions, my beliefs (though temporary), my ego, and my esteem affects others and I adjust it based on the results that I want to have. Does that make me a manipulator? Eh, perhaps. But we are all manipulators aren't we? We manipulate the ground to produce food (gardening). We manipulate ourselves to produce results (college education). I manipulate systems to get results (divergent). My wife is also a fluid person. She changes though based on pleasing those around her so she isn't under attack. She wants to hang with the goths? She changes who she is just so they will invite her in. She's a true chameleon. I am in control of my changes, she is not. She changes because she wants others to like her. Not the same.

The mom has the luxury of knowing it's her baby. "Mamas baby daddy's maybe." I want that same luxury. I don't wanna have to "trust"- I want to KNOW. Proof. Facts. Many men trust their wives and she sneakily cheated and got pregnant by a hotter taller guy. Many men who even trust their wives find out they're cuckolded! So why should I have blind trust? IF THE BABY IS PROVEN TO BE MINE, I WILL STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND BE A GREAT LOVING AND PROVIDING FATHER. IF IM NOT ALREADY MARRIED I WILL ASK HER IF SHED LIKE TO GET MARRIED, AND OFFER THAT. If the baby ISNT my baby, then in THAT case, I would immediately dump her, not sign any birth certificates, and let her find the sperm donor guy to pay for it. Let him provide, since his genetics are the ones getting passed on. So no harm no foul- as long as my wife doesn't cheat and cuckold me, then she shouldn't mind the paternity test. Right? I mean you really can't deny I have a right to legally and scientifically know the child is mine, unless you're either 1) insensitive to men's feelings or 2) defending cheaters

we ve been married for 2 months. We re building a new house with the help of both our parents, and meanwhile we re living with my in-laws. I m even using their bathroom, I m having privacy issues, I can t do what I want in the kitchen! My mother in law is observing every move I make while doing the house chores, I also don t have a car, just started a new job. I m suffocating! I m 22, he s 30, he s a doctor, his friends are doctors, I m finding it a little hard to fit in with his friends. We re having so many family issues. He made me a surprise honeymoon to the Maldives, I was so excited and happy till he booked an excursion to swim with a whale shark (I pushed my self to jump in the ocean because i didn t wanna ruin the honeymoon despite how terrified I was). I ve been crying myself to sleep for the past week, I don t know what to do about it, there s been a lot of drama going on, we keep fighting about the most insignificant things, I keep saying sorry afterwards, whether it was my fault or not. Before we got married, everything was just so perfect between us, we were so different with each other than we are now! I love him so much, and I want to make it work but I m struggling, we get into fights almost every day! Since he s a doctor, he spends 8 days a month at the hospital, leaving me with his in-laws, which is also very stressful for me to get used to. I want to make it work, and I will make it work, how do you think I can become a better wife?

we ve been married for 2 months. We re building a new house with the help of both our parents, and meanwhile we re living with my in-laws. I m even using their bathroom, I m having privacy issues, I can t do what I want in the kitchen! My mother in law is observing every move I make while doing the house chores, I also don t have a car, just started a new job. I m suffocating! I m 22, he s 30, he s a doctor, his friends are doctors, I m finding it a little hard to fit in with his friends. We re having so many family issues. He made me a surprise honeymoon to the Maldives, I was so excited and happy till he booked an excursion to swim with a whale shark (I pushed my self to jump in the ocean because i didn t wanna ruin the honeymoon despite how terrified I was). I ve been crying myself to sleep for the past week, I don t know what to do about it, there s been a lot of drama going on, we keep fighting about the most insignificant things, I keep saying sorry afterwards, whether it was my fault or not. Before we got married, everything was just so perfect between us, we were so different with each other than we are now! I love him so much, and I want to make it work but I m struggling, we get into fights almost every day! Since he s a doctor, he spends 8 days a month at the hospital, leaving me with his in-laws, which is also very stressful for me to get used to. I want to make it work, and I will make it work, how do you think I can become a better wife?

It started last year while my husband was away for basic in the army i cheated becus before he left we had a 3 sum with my homegirl while i was drunk & it haunted me. I ended up having feelings for a guy that i known for so long & he told my boyfriend, what we did and where it happen, which was at my best friends house. I was sincerely hurt and numb that I've done it, but he would remind me all the time for three months or even more and made me cut off my best friend. I'm married now and hurt

I've denied being with a girl, simply because they might have one little flaw. I'll admit it probably wasn't a good idea. What I'm saying is that sometimes the idea of thinking about marriage will get in the way of dating. Is it better to just pretend that you could live with the person and marry them, and let the relationship grow and then if it doesn't work out, break up? I guess, what I'm saying is that I often don't allow any relationship to happen, simply because I'll think that it "probably" won't work out. Should you just love and give it your all with every potential relationship, and then break up if it doesn't lead anywhere? What's the best approach? In other words, should you allow your mind to try to analyze the relationship or is it better to just go with the flow and let yourself go, even if it's not perfect and just discover new things?

We aren t planning an divorcing or anything, but need an outside opinion. It was our anniversary. I, the wife, spent hours making beef Wellington and we had a great dinner at home. Then we went to our room with a bottle of wine and got amorous. His ex called. I say asking how she was and how her kids were, while we were naked in bed together on our anniversary was wrong. He should have said, sorry I m busy it s my anniversary, talk to you later. He says, it was polite and normal to ask how everyone was doing( short term relationship, he never actually met her kids). Who right? Ty

My bil and sil kept blocking and unblocking me on social media and it kept hurting my feelings and if I would say something about their posts they would get mad but I couldn't get mad if they didn't like something I posted and they always leave me out on fb and I post their picture so I just finally blocked them . They just want to make me mad and start a fight and they don't want me to text them either