The story is a bit complicated, as we were kids my mom had to take care of a girl (3 years younger than me), as her parents had to work. She was like the little sister I never had, we were like siblings and did everything together, playing, homework, fishing,holidays etc... til she turned 13 and they had to move to like, 3 states away. She wrote me a letter where she told me she wasn't happy with her new life in the new town and I didn't answer back. I know, I'm a jerk.. but I jidt felt awkward, everything, messages and calls, used to get awkward with her cause we were too far. I got engaged to a girl who was totally different from her, she was shy, cute, sweet and a bit tomboy while my gf is extroverted and has lots of friends. I met again my first love while on holiday and she saw me and run away crying. My gf kidded her. It triggered me to leave her, I have had enough with her, her fake and stupid friends, all fake and middle class. I hate them all, and I hate her for kidding on my love. I'm just  sad cause she broke down crying while seeing me. I'm just afraid she won't want me because of the letter. What do I do? How can I have her back? Does she resent me? Why do I feel like chaning everything now?

Going to my cousins wedding with my family. Do all the boys (Father, brothers) all need to wear the same color suit? There will be pictures taken with the family. Father, and the kids I mean. I'm the oldest son. 

There's this guy I met at work. He is good looking, polite and well mannered. We look at each other but are too shy to admit our feelings. Last time he heard a clash of cars behind me and turned to look if I was involved, then a friend of his told him to accept a co-workers lift to go hone, but he declined without saying why, and he waited with me for the bus in the cold, like 40 minutes in the dark. I was cold and kept shivering, my hands were purple and he offered me his gloves saying hw didn't need them. I said no but he insusted and smiled at me in a shy way. On the bus he sat else where. I like him but we are too cold with each other, it's awkward. He is always kind and low-key worried about me. But he's  like, 8 years older and I am less experienced than a middle schooler, I didn't even have a first kiss