15 years ago this month I lost my eldest son in Iraq. My wife and I have 2 other kids..Jay as we would all call him was not at all the kind of guy who you would think someday would go to war. He wasn't a gung ho guy.. he was quite and shy but he had a good sense of humor. Most important he would help his friends or even folks he didn't know very well...I remember one day in 8th grade there was a girl who would sistematically get bullied..Despite being one of the little kids Jay stood up to that bully and not without a few punches being thrown and a call to the principal's office the bullying stopped. He didn't get punished for that. He really was a good guy. Sometimes I go downstairs and I see him in high school with his hair when it was not yet Marine style. I see him playing with his friends,laughing.. I see us on family vacations. 2003 was our last family vacation. Little we knew a year and a half later he would return stateside in a flag drapped casket. I cannot help but think if my wife and I tried talking him out of joining he would be here..especially because he made it clear he still wanted to go to college and become a doctor. We all go on but I'll always wonder what might have been had we tried harder talking him out of joining.. what do you think? I must add that once he became a Marine he took pride in it.. Still hard to imagine my little buddy in his Marine dress uniform picture,so serious..still hard to believe he's gone. I really hope there is a heaven,I really do..

I've always been self-conscious about my nose since I was a young girl. I use something called "Nose secret" and makeup to make my nose slimmer and that fixes my issue and satisfies me. I don't want my siblings to know I'm getting surgery because they're very toxic people. They have narcissistic behaviors. I'm very close to my mother but she has anxiety and can't keep a secret. She'll tell my family and then they will tell everyone else. Most of my family isn't nice or supportive. They're very mentally abusive and disrespectful. I've never been able to have any privacy from them. Also, if they know I have money, they will use manipulation to get what they want from my mother, so I have no choice to give her my cash. We're all adults. I'm the oldest. I'm 27 years old.

I went away to have a surgical procedure done (cosmetic). My parents came to stay with my teen daughter and younger child. I told them that no one needs to know where or what Im doing, as all my immediate family already knew. (specifically not their dad). Its none of his business. While away and trying to recover, I get a nasty text message from him about what Im doing! I asked and found out my daughter was the one who told him, even after I specifically told her not to! Shes 16 years old and should know the difference by now. She said it slipped out. But never gives details as to how. I dont know how to get over this betrayal. I am very hurt that she would do this to me. I really need help getting over it because I really thought we were closer than that. I am her mother after all and do everything for my children so I dont understand how she could do that to me. What can I do?

Year now some of my relatives pay attention to my sister more that me. They talk more with her and very rarely and blunt and cold is their attitude towards me. As my mom told me they hear each other on the phone quite often. But I just text with my sister. I invited my mom to meet in the summer, she was always busy with job and other things... bur now she`ll fly 3 days to aus. to be with my sister. My sister posts on facebook are always reacted and commented by my mom and aunt. (facebook is not the point). And my dad is buying expensive food and toilet paper when my sister is visiting him for vacations ect. Are they toxic people and haters?

This is so weird and I don't know what to make of it. This is my first relationship and I am 18 and my bf is 26. I was sleeping when I kinda stirred awake and freaked out because I felt muffled and I could tell someone was over my face.  My bf moved off of me and said kind of sheepishly that he didn't realise I was awake and apologised. I asked what he was doing and he tried to avoid saying it but then he confessed that he sometimes f@rts in my mouth when I am sleeping because it makes him feel more bonded to me. I don't know what to do. I am very sheltered from my childhood and he is my first bf. Is this normal /?

I'm 18 (male) and currently living with my parents (I graduated last June and have trouble finding a job). In that house also lives my older brother (21), my younger sister (16), and the sister in question (14).  So my sister is 14 and got kicked out of school for poor performance (35%! She skipped almost every day). The only thing she does is staying at home playing video games. As both my mother and brother have to work late, I offered to take care of the house. Well, my duties is keeping the house clean and cook for my sisters. Since I don't see why I should be the only one cleaning, I give menial tasks to my sisters (empty the dish washer, take out the trash etc.). Yesterday I asked my 14-year-old sister to clean a dirty window. She was busy playing GTA and told me "later". 2 hours later after I was done with everything else I asked her if she would EVER do the window. "Goddamnit, later" was all I got back. I cleaned it myself and it took me 2 minutes. After I was done I told her that doing nothing is what a useless brat like her does best. She got angry and said "I f*ucking hate you, go f*uck yourself" while she ran to her room. I followed her and told her that she just can't talk to me like that. She then showed her middle finger to me and said "f*uck you". That's when I exploded in rage and slapped her in the face. It was probably very hard, as she was crying and holding her left eye and cheek.  Was I wrong to slap her?  And how could I have handled it better?

sooo I'm 17 and my dad always makes me cry. He makes me fell guilty for things that i hardly have any control over, like I have really really really bad depression and he knows that. And then he will go on and ask why I don't go to school and makes me fell guilty for not going to school and for having to drive all the way to my therapy session cuz it cost so mush money, I know that it costs money and all but... I just want to be happy. Most of the time I can't even bring myself to get out of bed, why try, why do anything. i just can't bring myself to tell him how I fell cuz I know that he'll be heartbroken to hear that he's hurting me. I'd rather just suffer alone than have us both hurting. So my question is, does your parents make you fell like and/or cry? This it this normal?  I just want to know cuz when I see all of my friends family and such the seam like a good family, like a normal family. People who care for each other and would never do anything to make them cry. And I'm to scared to ask any of my friends cuz I don't want them to fell bad for me, and waste their time on me honestly i don't want post this cuz I'm afraid you who's reading this is wasting your time on me. I don't want people to care for me cuz it's a waste and at the same time I want to be happy. But to be happy I have to ask people for help... and I'm babbling sorry for this. just needed to vent maybe get some answers.

she always say something obnoxious to anger me.  She always does what she wants without considering my feeling.   I'm her son and not being disrespectful, how do you deal with her?

My father is an alcoholic and my mother turned on his whole family for keeping his drinking private. She alienated me from them until I was a teen and saw through my Mom's games. Now as an adult my mother is covering up for her brother who is a divorced alcoholic. We were with him a few weeks ago and he did nothing but drink the whole day and she told me not to tell my grandmother. I complied but my mother is doing just what she turned on my Dad and extended family for. My mother banned me from my own Dad for a few years cause of his drinking to "protect me" but at Thanksgiving and other holidays I was allowed around her uncle (my grandmother's brother) who was a grouchy alcoholic and died from it. Now my Mom's brother is an alcoholic and while I am too old now for her to "hold me back from him" she is okay with it just like her uncle despite holding me back from my Dad as a kid due to his drinking. So what my question is is this. My Mom is covering up for my alcoholic uncle, why did she not do this for my Dad when both had the same thing. In my Dad's case she wanted the whole world to know and was mad that his family kept it private. Her brother's alcoholism she is keeping private. My uncle's daughter is just like my Mom and using her kids to make a point to him by banning them from him. Uncle's ex was similar to my Mom also.  Uncle is VERY similar to my father. Great Uncle I only saw at big holiday stuff so didn't know enough to know what type of drunk he was. I hear he'd get grouchy and quiet. 

Liar or not he is still my father. he is a chronic liar.

Is that something all mother do when their children grow up? And she has thrown only my album, but not my sister`s album too...

I'm in my late 20s, have a good job, travel a lot, and have a good amount of friends. I'm generally a happy person. On the other hand, my aunt is in her late 50s, single, lives with my other aunt, and doesn't have a whole lot of friends. She is critical of everything I do. When I travel, she says stuff like "Well, you know you could die in a plane crash." Something that happened recently was I told my family I downloaded a sleep recording app on my phone to see how much I snore. I told them I rarely snore and my aunt replied sarcastically, "Well, that's because you're perfect." WTF? I've been going to the Kentucky Derby for the past several years and she always enjoyed watching it - that is, until I started going. Now she thinks it's animal abuse and horrible that I go. She is negative about everything I do. I told my mom to stop telling her anything about my personal life as the examples above are her normal reaction and it's not her business. I live two hours from my hometown and visit once a month, sometimes twice. I know it shouldn't seem like a big deal because I only see her a one/two days a month, but it's draining and has such a negative impact on me. She's always there. If my mom and I do something together, she has to come. I don't want to say she's jealous of me, but I can't figure out why she is so critical of me and always wants to know everything that goes on in my life. Do you guys have any advice? I feel like I've been biting my tongue for so long. Thanks!

I was stuck for years and still kinda am I missed prom and many things I deal Went to the store with my mom and the lady that took us when we were paying she kept saying she had to pee and my mom kept laughing and she responded with "I have 8 kids I can't hold anything in". My mom said "WOW" then she said "I hope they help you" the lady was like they help they better or I'll kick them out (jokingly) she said her oldest is 16 and the youngest is 3 and my mom said "if you don't mind me asking how old are you?" She said 40 and my mom said "I just want to know how do you handle it all?" The lady is like they have school then after school. My mom kept saying wow and I said that's crazy 8 kids and my mom is like "please god forbid I can't even handle what I have already". Now that response was weird does that sound like she's worried about getting pregnant by accident first it sounded like she was interest to being scared like for herself. My mom is 44 and literally had a slight melt down right before we went out cause there's a lot of crazy stuff going on my mom couldn't even take a shower today because my sister wasn't feeling good and scared to stay by herself. I have two younger sisters 10 and 8 and I don't think my parents use any protection. My mom told my dad when we got in the car and he's like that's fûcking crazy and he said thank god I didn't go in the store to hear crying babies I wouldn't told them to shut the fûck up! As you can see my dad turn into a cranky old guy

I'm working 30 hours a week, I do all the cooking cleaning, chores, and responsibilities at my apartment with my girlfriend where I also take care of our two dogs. On top of this I'm taking a math degree and I just can't handle all of the work I feel myself going insane. I want to just move back in with my parents so I can be successful at school but I love my girlfriend, we've been together for 7 years. She can't contribute in the home because she works 50 hours a week. . . even still I feel as though I have less free time than her but shes always too exhausted to do anything in the apartment. I don't know what to do.

The person asks you 'did you watch the video your sister posted on here?' And says this in a 'you've better have done it" tone of voice.  You fail to answer her promptly and she gets angry and asks you again in a smart aleck tone of voice.  Then she starts jumping to conclusions, 'is your sister on Facebook with you?" Ask angerily. (She's on there with me but I don't respond to her growing anger) She then asks 'what happened to your family?' As if she assumes I don't have any of them on my Facebook profile. (I do but I cannot understand why she is putting this on me like I don't, and assuming me the worst) This particular person is a thug bully and in the past when i was 14 I aggravated her or got a little confrontational with her and she knocked me down viciously yelled at me and then my sister moved in it and got back at her. My sister then 'made her' be nice to me but she has been 'nice' but like in a spiteful way. Like she doesn't like me but is being nice to me to keep in good standings with my sister.  I'm 32 now and she was 'nice' to me but it is like in a spiteful way. This is how she reacted on Facebook recently to me. 

I'm 23 and I have 6 younger siblings. One of my younger siblings has a child as well so I say 6 because I take care of my niece too. My mom has a gambling addiction and sometimes she goes to the casino all day and leaves the kids home. They are old enough to care for themselves while she is away but it's the principle. I seem to be the only one in my family that cares enough to take care of my siblings (I have an older brother as well). I told my grandma that I was thinking about taking them to live with me. After further contemplation, I decided that it would not be realistic because I make good money but not enough to raise 6 children. My grandma called me today and in so many words called me selfish for not taking them. IDk what to do at this point. Everything I have done in life so far has been centered around them and everyone tries to make me feel guilty when I do something for myself. I moved 3 hours away to a new city where I didn't know anyone just to get a piece of mind. My mom is a great mom but that gambling is getting the best of her. I would love to raise them but I know that I'll eventually resent myself for not following my dreams. I want to move away to New York and live my life, publicize my book, continue to work for corporate and be with my bf. but I am nervous to leave because I'll feel guilty. Any advice? 

It seems weird when she insults him to me or to my Mom in front of me. He does tend to over-commit and fib but no one is perfect. My Mom's whole family insults my parents like this. My grandfather on my Mom's side says my Dad fails to discipline. This coming from one who used a belt on his kids. My other aunt tells me she feels sorry for my Dad having to come home to my Mom at night since she likes him but hates my Mom. The uncle does not do the name calling nor does my grandmother. We seldom see the uncle though. My Mom's family is great and real close, it is just the insulting my parents to me feels weird. As a kid I liked it but now I am 22. 

I moved out of state recently to be with my long distance girlfriend I went ftom Illinois to Idaho. I'm new to Idaho and don't have any family here except one brother who works an opposite schedule then me. Well my girlfriends mom is doing Christmas at her grandmas house, and her grandma isn't doing well. Well her mom specifically said nobody is allowed to come except her and our other roommate whose parents are friends with my girlfriends mom and they'll be going too. I guess the reason is her grandma is sick and weak immunity and they don't wanna make it worse. So they only want family around or people they know and trust well I can't help but feel jealous our other roommate goes and I can't i me a I know it isn't her fault but it just sucks bc I know I wouldn't do that but everyone is different. She swore when she gets back We will do something together but it's still the matter I'll be alone for Christmas Day and that hurts. She gets mad at me for bringing it up and says it's not her fault repeatedly which I understand  but it still just hurts. Ami wring and immature for. Beng hurt 

I hung out with my cousin and his girl and their kid tonight. His girl took us to the mall cause she wanted to see her guy friend who worked there. He did talk to my cousin didn't see anything inappropriate but I know he texts her a lot and he doesn't really have a relationship with my cousin

I was very happy as a kid but when I graduated college and got a well paying job something happened suddenly people started asking me for money. My sister begged me to mentor her son and he would give me to many requests. People begged me for help. All of this makes me uncomfortable, I regret telling others about my job. Now I don't trust telling people my goals. Is this how you feel?

Went to the store with my mom and the lady that took us when we were paying she kept saying she had to pee and my mom kept laughing and she responded with "I have 8 kids I can't hold anything in". My mom said "WOW" then she said "I hope they help you" the lady was like they help they better or I'll kick them out (jokingly) she said her oldest is 16 and the youngest is 3 and my mom said "if you don't mind me asking how old are you?" She said 40 and my mom said "I just want to know how do you handle it all?" The lady is like they have school then after school. My mom kept saying wow and I said that's crazy 8 kids and my mom is like "please god forbid I can't even handle what I have already". Now that response was weird does that sound like she's worried about getting pregnant by accident first it sounded like she was interest to being scared like for herself. My mom is 44 and literally had a slight melt down right before we went out cause there's a lot of crazy stuff going on my mom couldn't even take a shower today because my sister wasn't feeling good and scared to stay by herself. I have two younger sisters 10 and 8 and I don't think my parents use any protection. My mom told my dad when we got in the car and he's like that's fûcking crazy and he said thank god I didn't go in the store to hear crying babies I wouldn't told them to shut the fûck up! As you can see my dad turn into a cranky old guy

Hello, I am living with a mentally disabled brother in law who happens to enjoy hitting my kids for laughter and getting creepy with my 1 year old daughter. He is some-what mentally disabled but can still comprehend like "normal" people, just that he cannot make out what he wants to say because he's slow. I've talked to him about the issues of hitting my children, especially him trying to get freaky with my daughter (as in grabbing her out of my arms/floor and kissing her harshly on the mouth, leaving saliva all over her face, he also pushed her to the floor and got on top of her to kiss her).  It has gotten worse and more often since I've talked to him, his response was, "What did I do???" And smirked. He's even called me names afterwards too. I am done respecting him. He is taking advantage of his disability.  I've even talked to my spouse about it. We avoid him as much as we can, but I can only do so for so long. I cannot continue to hide my daughters in the room. The brother in law will not act willful in front of his parents, guardian, or my spouse, he only does so when only I am around. His parents also takes his side when I talked to them saying that he is "mentally disabled", if I dont like it, then to move out. They've turned a blind eye. Do anyone have any suggestions for the time being until I can afford to move out?

I am engaged to this man for 5 years. He only has worked 2 of the years I have been engaged to him. He got into a car accident and was not severely disabled but could not work for 2 years. He lives with his mom, but purchased his own house that he is fixing up for us to live in when my son gets out of this school system in 4 years. He received a sum of money when his dad past away. I stay here so my son can have a great education. I rent my house monthly. I have a good job and go to college part time. I pay all my own bills, insurance, food, etc. He will help me out IF I ASK FOR IT. I pay for everything. I have one son at home. We go half on anything major or minor like food. Soooo to make a long story short...he received a settlement from his accident. A large one. He gave his mom $50,000.00 for all the loans over the year etc. He did not offer anything for me, so I did not ask. Finally, I told him a needed help on rent for a month. He gave me a LOAN and ask me when I can pay him back every few days. Am I being selfish here? 

I live in fear of my dad. I always feel like he is a step away from cracking, so I walk on eggshells around him, avoiding having interactions with him. He lets his anger get the best of him, and the other day he shoved my little brother off of the bed by his neck. This is not to say that my brother wasn t acting up, but my brother did not speak for hours after that happened. Everytime I try and tell my parents how I m feeling- which is overwhelmed and unloved, they just disregard my feelings, and today my dad said that was "bull****". I don t know what to do, and I don t really have a question, but I don t know how to get him to realize that I am afraid of him, and I don t think that that is how I should have to live. What should I do?