My husband and I are just getting our start out on our own. Last year we came up with the plan to move to Washington, as we can actually afford it, unlike where we currently live in San Diego, California. Well, my mother bribed us to stay near her by paying for our down payment and signing herself on our home loan so we get approved. I didnt like it, but I let her do it, because I felt so guilty wanting to leave. My mother told me things like her heart is going to be broken if we leave, and my dad may not live much longer. etc.She even convinced to let her do it by saying she was going to leave her $650,000 home to us in her will, but since we want a different home near her, she'll help us get it instead. Anywho, a year has passed and we find we still actually cannot afford to live in our home as we have lived paycheck to paycheck for the past year and my husband cannot even afford much needed dental care, as we need food stamps for food. I tell my mother this and she says she would have never helped us if she had known we would just take her money and leave still. I feel hurt and guilty. Frankly, I don't really know what to do. Any words of wisdom will help. Thanks.

Hi, Recently,I was looking for a book in my brothers room,and I was shocked to find a pack of condoms and a lighter in a small box he had hidden behind his books.Now,I really didnt expect this,since my brother is only 18,and his a very good student and im really worried because he never smells as if he had been smoking,so Im afraid that he might have been doing something else,you know,more harmful.So what should I do?Should I tell my mom?Or is it going to ruin my relationship with my brother? (PS:I dont find the condoms worrying,I actually felt good that he is using some protection.And by the way im 17)

My fiance & my brother got into a huge fight a few months ago I'm not gonna get into detail on why but my brother said my fiance is no longer allowed to come over to his house. Well since our mama passed away in 2010 Thanksgiving has always been at my brother's home & my siblings & I go there & have a good time. Well this time around my fiance is not allowed to go because of what happened & now my fiance says since he's not allowed over there that I cannot go. 

He has a weird personality and is considered creepy by all. Some note they would never let their kids near him and he was accused of molestation at one time but I understand he was later cleared. He also was very cruel to my grandfather who died in 2009. I saw him at a reunion summer before last. He said this and I am wondering if it is true or not. I can't rely on his word of mouth if I ask and everyone advises me to stay away from him aside from reunions in New England we see him at every few years. He is the one everyone feared would holler insults in the middle of my grandfather's funeral 10 years ago, he did not though. He is in his 80's so the kids would be in their 50's or 60's now.

I'm 18 and he's 21 and he's just a simple worker in a factory. My parents say that they don't agree with him just because I should have better expectations of my life even though they didn't even graduate high school. I have a bad relationship with them and they argue all the time and blame me for the fact that they work for me and don't have time to look out for their ilnesses (even if they actually afford to go to a doctor, but they say they're putting money aside for me). They always yell at me because of school, even though I try my best and I got good grades, but they just don't seem to acknowledge that. They don't want me to see my boyfriend at all and yell at me whenever I go out to see him and keep bringing up sex and my sexual life, always telling me that I'll get pregnant, even though I use protection every time. I cry every day because of them. I'm tired of them and I can't keep with them anymore. They argue every day and my head is full of insults, yelling and bad things. They call me a whore and say bad things about my boyfriend every day. I'm old enough to stand up and protect myself, but I'm too scared because they made me feel like a piece of **** in front of them. I don't have the courage to confront them.

Mithter T-Reckth: We do have an uncle who is a known alcoholic. Should I out-drunk him? All the other alcoholics have died, the uncle's uncle from Cirrhosis. One died getting hit by a car crossing a highway drunk on Christmas night (no joke, happened in 1995). 

My mother and him have only been married for 3 years (I was 16 then). They dated for a 1 year prior to that. I got tired of him asking for my whereabouts and meddling but on Wed it resulted in a huge argument. What upset me more is him holding my purse (just because there was a Marboro pack there but it's not like I smoke every single day; twice a month only and the rest my friend uses it) and not letting me step out. I warned him if he doesn't give me my purse (my keys and cell were there too) and let me leave, I'm going to take actions, how I ain't scared of him and he ain't my father. Warned him twice and he didn't follow through. I charged after him and basically started smacking him around, scratching his arm and saying every single bad things I wanted to already, screaming to give me back my purse, etc. The idiot of my stepfather shoved me to the floor (I fell down kind of hard in a sitting position and now I have a small bruise on the left side) and still walks away with my purse, saying he'll have a talk with my mother about everything. All of the sudden I'm found in the wrong. I don't find this fair. Wasn't he wrong?

My son is 19 and has recently started dating a 20-year-old, who he had been friends with for almost two years before they started dating. She seems like a nice girl on the outside. Smart, articulate and polite. She is currently in her first year at community college so she has some ambition. The problem I have is she is legally married, but separated. Two weeks after her 19th birthday, she got married to her then off again, on-again relationship with her ex. After three months of marriage, they separated, and six months later she started dating my son, who had encouraged her to separate from her husband. My son said she can't be legally divorced for another three months. I did make the mistake of asking him if she had any contact with her ex-husband. He said that the only contact they had was a month before they got together, him showing up at her house asking for another chance, and she turned him down.  Now he is saying that I'm judgemental, that I have no reason not to like her. It's not that I don't like her, but I don't like that she is not only still legally married but seeking a divorce at the age of 20.   Good advice. But as for the three-month thing. They have to be legally separated for a year before they can divorce. 

Also is it normal they will now NOT seek help again? I am guessing he won't as his family has not said "you are drinking again" and he keeps a distance from his kids so they won't know. His wife has left him even though he got help. Not sure if he relapsed before or after she left. They had always had a bad marriage. They have 3 kids, all young adults. Two grandchildren are also in their family so it is not a divorce early in the marriage. It is 31 years of marriage and 2nd half both became alcoholics. My Mom in particular covers up for him despite trying to poison me against my Dad when he drank. I MEANT TO GIVE BEST ANSWER TO---Anonymous . Best wishes to all. 

She says he left us, not her. She says he was cheating, he denies that. She says he does not love me cause he does not love anyone (she notes it is nothing personal against me cause he doesn't love anyone). She says my grandfather is the one who is a father for me (her father of course). She says all the time "I swear that guy is like your father" if she is speaking poorly of someone. She insults all of his family and makes it virtually impossible to see them and be on good terms with her. As a kid I could not see them and she made it as hard as possible for me to see my father. She even claims I only have one set of grandparents (her parents). As a result I missed out on much time with my paternal grandfather who regularly tried to reach out. He died when I was 14. My mother let me go to the funeral but not the reception after. My grandmother is still living so I can still get close now that I am an adult. So I am 20 now, an adult. I can visit more though my Mom still throws a fit about it. How do I rid myself of these poisonous words? How do I stop the anxiety I now feel when with my Dad or his family? After years of hearing how bad they are I do feel very anxious when around them fearing "what if Mom is right" and "what if they reject me at the first flaw I show and I am abandoned again by them"? I felt so abandoned by my Dad and his family before I realized my Mom's words were not accurate. Thank you all for answering. Best wishes. Pray for me in this matter, especially with the Christmas holidays a month away. 

I am 42 and the sister if I think 45 or 46.

I actually saw my mom going down on a young man in a car! My mom is an attractive woman of 56. Many of my friends have called her MILF.

Me and my parents had gone to my relatives place to attend a funeral.We had to stay there for a few days for some rituals. I had taken some books to finish my homework.My uncle's and aunts wanted me to keep studying.So while i was studying they didn't believe that i was really doing so.So they kept monitoring me and keeping a watch on me.They think that I'm a dull student.There was a time in my life that i was going through something bad and i used to flunk academically.But after the phase i started getting good grades like before.I always get A's and B+'s now.They don't think i can get such grades.So they started accusing me of not sincerely studying because i had my phone with me.After my homework i touched my phone and their son saw it and he went and told his dad. When i was confronted i just told them to mind their business.I told them it's not their place to monitor my studies.Whether i study or not its none of their concern and i dont care if they think I'm a dull student.I don't have to prove that I'm bright to them.

And that I'm not working right now, then she denies i do anything for her, even though I've spent the last ten years doing things for her and facilitating her life completely, when she lived off my dad for twenty years it never got said because i was here and never heard it and he said she just sat around the house all day.

I have 5 older siblings and my dad has talked much **** about all of them as well as their partners they have all had problems with my dads mouth. Some of my brother in laws don't like my father and I cannot blame them. How do I manage family parties and bringing my girlfriend around?

My daughter is 19 she's an adult I let her do a lot of stuff and have her own life. She texts this guy she met on social media he's like 20. I only hear good things about him. I guess she has a crush on him and he flirts with her.  My issue is he's flying to see her (he's apparently from another state) and they've never met each other.  I don't have an issue with him being of another race, I'm very open minded but I overheard her talking to my niece and she said he was going to stay with her in her apartment. Can I do anything 

He took a chicken from my grampas barn and took it to our house (my aunts house, his mom) in his school backpack and put it in his closet and it started stinking up the house. My older cousin found it, his older brother, and realized its head had been stomped in. He also drowned and cut open two guinea pigs and just recently he kicked the puppy he got into the wall so hard it went to the hospital for internal bleeding, my aunt just lied and said something to where they didnt call the cops or whatever, but it died and SHE JUST BOUGHT US A NEW PUPPY!! same breed and everything.... she doesnt think it's a big deal and Dimitri thinks its HILARIOUS. Hes also always punching us and trying to get on our backs and drown us in the pool, he rips our hair out and chased me around the house with a knife once AND MY GRAMPA JUST SAID "HES JUST PLAYING!" when I was screaming for him to help.... he just turned 11 and hes already so violent, he turns 12 next year and I'm afraid puberty will completely set him off and hes gonna kill us or something. What do I do?? Bill, I'm not a troll I promise. Yeah, I'm pretty sure my dads side of the family all has mental issues, but they dont believe in doctors, they're old fashioned greeks. I tried to tell my dad I needed to see a therapist when I was 12 because I had really bad depression, and he yelled at me saying that only crazy people go to therapy. 

If I have a sibling that is a baby I am going to feel like a baby and I don't want to be a baby I want to be an adult

Hello . I'm Renee . I'm 18 . I was recently emancipated out of Foster Care on my 18th birthday . I have a job but can't even start yet . I don't know how I'm going to even get to work everyday with no car . My Granny is putting me out in the morning . I have no car . No family . All I have is my clothes , tv , & shoes . My Granny is being very unrealistic . I get the fact that she doesn't want me here anymore but where exactly does she expect me to go in 30 degree weather , snow & ice on the ground & a bucket load of stuff . I just don't get it . I need help . I have no insurance . My parents don't care . It's just unfair at this point . I need somebody but instead I'm left with nobody . I don't know where to go or what to do . I just don't understand what is it that I'm doing wrong that everyone hates me to the point of where they don't want to help me . What is it ..? Am I not good enough for my family ..? I don't understand . Why me ..? I just need someone . But I have no one . LITERALLY . 

My dad and family have been abusing me for so many years.I was young so i had to take it.Ive been beaten up loads of times by them.They always say hurtful things to me and use a foul language. At one point i couldn't take it so i started retaliating with foul language too.Ive used foul language towards my dad,my grandparents,my sister and anyone who puts me down and hurts me.Because of this they hate me even more and think I'm a bad person.I live in India and here we are taught to be extremely respectful to our elders but I'm doing the complete opposite of it and i dont like doing this,it makes me feel guilty and makes me feel like I'm a bad person.But i cannot ignore it when hurtful things are said to me,i have to retaliate and say something hurtful in return. I'm actually doing well in school,I'm intelligent,I'm good at many things.My grades are also decent enough.There was a time when i was demotivated and my grades were terrible and they used to mercilessly taunt me and say that I'm a failure.Even after I've improved my grades they say that.My grades had dropped in the first place because of them abusing me but luckily I've had supportive teachers and supportive friends who motivate me because of which I'm doing better now.

I'm in New York with my parents currently for my birthday, and as we are big theatre fans. We came to see Betrayal as I love Tom Hiddleston and have seen some other shows as well. We've seen Little Shop of Horrors and Mean Girls. Tomorrow is our final day and my father wants to see Jagged Pill, while I'd like to see Beetlejuice as I'm a fan of the soundtrack and the set looks phenomenal.  My mother is fine with either one, but wants to go to Jagged Pill to appease my father. She won't let me go see Beetlejuice alone while the two of them see Jagged Pill. I know I probably am selfish- but it's still the original Broadway cast of Beetlejuice, and Jagged Pill is a jukebox musical that will most likely tour for cheap soon anyway. If not reaffirming that I'm awful, how could I convince them to let me go alone? I'm one year away from being a legal adult and have been to New York before so I know my way around.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family but with the grace of God, turned out 'fine' myself. I would regard myself as a very feminine and nurturing woman, but I grew up with a masculine mom and emotionally absent father. This created a lot of insecurity issues growing up, but I learned to remove myself from my family and instead define myself. Even though I've healed, I do feel that I was dealt a bad hand in this life that I did not deserve. It can be hard when friends and strangers see you as a light, but they have no idea how that light came to be. I went on to graduate from a top university, am now looking for a job, and am hoping for a bright future and to attract a loving partner. I'm praying I will be able to live the life I always imagined.  Holidays are always difficult for me, and I was wondering if you had any suggestions on what to do for Thanksgiving. My family doesn't value holidays and that was a major flag to me growing up. I love to cook, am super hospitable, and love community, all traits that were nonexistent in my family. I'm thankful for life, it just is hard to accept that you don't have what others do.

Today, my mom was asking me about my dating life. I work with this guy whom I like but it would be weird dating a coworker. She asks me what's wrong with him? I always tell her over and over that he is a coworker and you are not allowed to date coworkers.  Then she told me to try online. I told her I meet guys but they are all really distant. Then she goes further and says maybe at a party. I don't go out barely at all. The most hilarious part of this all, she hates every guy I like. Yet she talks about these guys. I talk to guys that come in to my job but it never goes any further than that. We just have small talk and that's it.  I am a 27 year old female and sometimes I hate being single. Sometimes I like it. How can I stop my mom from getting into my personal life? It's extremely annoying.

Out of nowhere my Dad called me saying my Mom planned on leaving him after my Mom returned home from a trip. My parents live near me in Florida and my Mom told my Dad she wants to move to Ohio to be with her side of the family and because the cost of living is cheaper. I am 35 and my parents have been married 33 years. My Dad said he didnt want to move out there and my Mom said she was moving anyway. My Aunt, my Moms sister, is sick with cancer and dying. She has been sick now for about 2 years with an incurable disease. However my Mom and my Aunt have never gotten along and are practically strangers. My Mom wants to move up there to take care of her and her Mom as well (my Grandma). She didnt care whether or not my Dad was going. My Mom has always been very selfish but this really scared me because my Dad has a lot of health issues. Within the last 3 years he has had multiple amputations due to his diabetes. He even almost died. It scares me for him to be far away from me. My Dad felt forced to move with my Mom considering he is disabled and he wouldnt be able to afford their house alone in Florida. So my Mom got the house sold and they VERY ABRUPTLY moved. In fact last night I called them and they said they were moving today. They didnt even plan on seeing me beforehand and saying bye. I have been so hurt and feeling abandoned. I have cried, begged them to stay, and even offered to help pay their bills. All of this happened within a month. Are my feelings selfish?

My mom has always been this way. She will act really nice and charming in public and always tries to grab attention from everyone. But at home, it's always like walking on eggshells, controlling, is a bully, abusive has a very short temper/ no patience, gaslights, lies, always makes herself out to be the victim- twist stories to benefit her. What do you my mom has or what is wrong with her? And just The other day I tried to talk about her mistreatment and her response was "there are a lot worse mothers, some moms kill their kids!" I am not kidding at all- that is exactly what she said :/ It is not a mid life crisis- she has been like this my whole life- I'm 26

I live in my own house, but my mother is constantly sending things I don't need like bags & bags of freebies from her dental office, random nicknacks from thrift shops, hotel toiletries, and stuff I don't know what it is. I accept it so I don't hurt her feelings, but then I donate most of it to a thrift shop. Some of it is absolute garbage that I doubt they'd take. I feel overwhelmed in my own home b/c it's piling up faster than I can get rid of it & my husband is getting mad. I'm getting mad b/c I'm losing important/sentimental stuff under all the sh*t my mother is sending, like a poem from my husband, a coin purse from my dead grandma, etc.

Everyone always says if they're family than you should love them no matter what. And I try, I really do, but I just hate my dad so ******* much. He's so irresponsible! He never pays the rent on our house, he never pays medical bills for us, and come to think of it, I don't think he's payed a single ******* bill in years! It's always my mom paying things. My mom taking care of us and my dad being a selfish dick. Even when my mom had a job, she wasn't making very much money. Yet she was always the one buying us food and all of the other things we needed. Or on our birthdays, she'd still manage to get us something. I'm not saying they are required to get us gifts, it's just the fact that my mom barely had any money, yet she still manages to get us a little something. It means a lot to me. My dad just keeps all of his money for himself. And he makes money. I know he does. He's working two jobs. And you can't afford a $800 guitar, $500 bass, and an Apple watch without money. My mom just lost her job and can't pay anything, yet he's still not doing anything. Or even now, we just got out of an argument where I told him I was hungry. Literally sat through 15 minutes him saying "I don't know" over and over again. I know it's just because he doesn't want to have to buy us food. Like, I'm sorry, but you have kids. You need to ******* take care of them! I'm just so ******* pissed off right now.

So my sister and I came to canada with my parents when I was about 8/9 years old. We lived with my grandpa for about 6 months and then moved to our own place. When there wouldn't be anyone around, my grandpa would make me sit on his lap to talk, and he would randomly kiss me on my lips or place his hands on my chest and all. I don't know if he did that with my sister or my other cousin as well or not, but  now that I'm older and think about it, I'm not sure if it's considered as a form of sexual assault or not. Is it? Or am I thinking too much into it?

For example last summer we were on family vacation and she had to share a bathroom with me and she flipped out about it. She demanded I go to the bathroom downstairs if I have to go but middle of the night I am not going to go all the way downstairs. Then she said go to the outside bathroom but again, middle of the night that won't work. She also flipped a few months earlier when flying with my parents and I back from a wedding and asked to carry my toothpaste on her check on since I couldn't carry it on the plane per NTSB rule. She became infuriated. She is normal, had some learning disabilities in school but normal functioning. She has no known mental illness. Her knew thing to bully me with was when she learned I have OCD. She also won't be near her autistic nephew sometimes (my other sister's son) cause the nephew said something inappropriate around her about sex (of course the nephew did not know he was being inappropriate due to his condition). My sister (the abusive one) always barks at our parents and orders them like they are her slaves. They have sometimes been guilty of allowing it as they were busy with me, the special ed kid, when she was growing up and then a brother of mine who as a teen had substance abuse issues though he is sober now. On this trip my father made her leave after her meltdown over the bathroom. What might cause this? Gary: This was a 4 bedroom place for 9 people including an infant. A 5th bedroom was outside. 

For example an awesome trip he promised for the 2nd time and turns out he was lying. A Christmas promise when I was a kid he broke, it was one that was devastating. He lied so much to my mother she had to move out when my siblings and I were older. They separated but did not divorce. I remember him lying to me about my brother's wedding. How could I trick him to be honest or is it like tricking an alcoholic to go sober? He is arrogant so telling him he is hurting us just makes him blame us. Only once has he owned it and that was in his marriage and then he went back to lying. It is so similar to an alcoholic uncle I have who quits drinking when his family confronts him just to go back to it. Now that he is divorced he is a full time alcoholic. My Dad is a full time liar. I sympathize with the uncle, he has a mental illness in the drinking, my father however is healthy in mind. His healthiness in mind is what makes him so arrogant. He has even gotten after me for being "TOO HONEST" and has asked me to lie for him or with him. I usually comply. You would think a Dad would teach his kid to be honest, not a liar. Yet I'd be in trouble as a kid when I'd lie to him.