Finding a husband who is kind and loyal, good looking. One who will let me go down on him every morning and have sex every night. Massage his back and body whenever I see fit and always end arguments with hot steamy sex and make up.

I live in a country where foreigners are treated as gods and make more money for just being foreigners. Recently we both applied for a job where I was offered X salary and she was offered 5X more. I feel really crappy about this knowing that she ll be the breadwinner, and i can t become an equal financial partner. I m not one to want to be have way more than her just for my EGO or to show that I m better but at least both of us being equal more or less. I d be fine if im making 4x and she s making 5x not really a huge deal. After applying to a lot of other jobs where I live, the salary will more or less be the same as the previous job. The only choice I have is to head into a semi guranteed governmental job where I make way more than what she would be making a month, but I wouldnt be able to marry her due to her not being a local citizen (Security reasons) I love her so much, and I want to be with her but at the same time I don t think I can live with the idea that she s the breadwinner, paying for kids bills, buying them stuff, whatever else, While im just sitting there making peanuts. I also know that eventually women want to see their men as protectors, caregivers, and security. I m really struggling and I wanted advice from experienced people as im only still in my 20s

My wife and I have been married for 4 years and the latter half has been tough. My wife was laid off from her job a few months ago and has since decided to stay unemployed because it was impossible to find another job. She bore our baby daughter, Candice, a year ago and this has caused many financial problems for us. She constantly nags me and always asks for money. Once, she borrowed 2000 dollars and I reluctantly gave it to her because she said she needed some dental work done. After a while, I found out she lied and actually gave it to a male childhood friend of hers because he was in deep debt. It was my money, that she gave to another man, and obviously I got so angry I stormed out of the house for a few days- sleeping in a hotel to give ourselves some time to think. The loan to her friend revved up my suspicions that she might be cheating, so I decided to test her by saying I found out she had been cheating. After hours of fighting and screaming, she didn't seem suspicious, even though she denied it aggressively. She called me a hypocrite for accusing her of cheating because there was a regretful moment in the past with another woman, before marrying my wife but dating. She said I was trying to cover up the fact I had cheated again, although I hadn't. It got explosive again and she tried to hit me with a vacuum pole. She's been such a struggle to financially support, and we've had too many sexless nights even though we have tried many times to rekindle our love. BUT I don't know if I love her anymore. I can see she loves me dearly because when I brought divorce up, she started to cry and begged to stay in our marriage. Shockingly, she offered to give me more sexual favors, which I found very embarrassing because of the fact she would do such a thing. I mean, would this mean she would sell her body to men just for money? I doubt my wife would ever degrade herself, but it saddened me and made me cry after she said that. We cried together, but since then, we have barely looked at each other nor talked after that incident. It breaks my heart that I would even consider divorcing her and leaving her with my daughter when I know she doesn't have a job. Please.. Help

Not sure what direction I should move in. My husband and I have been separated for a year now. We also have a baby together. We have been threw hell together and the obvious answer is to leave. There is no reason to stay except for that I love him . I am finally at a place where I forgive him for everything and I believe I can move forward and forget the past , I didn t think I would ever want to be with him again. But I also met someone else. He is a really good man respectful sweet hardworking loyal and everything I could ask for . but my heart is still confused. Stay with my husband and fight to work it out and deal with everyone being against us or move on to something new?

I'm clearly not going to have either. So if all I have to base my life on is a fantasy, which is a better fantasy to have? On one hand, I'll say my left since that would make the most sense, a pornstar wife would look smoking hot and super sexualized and would be a super hot MILF. She wouldn't have to do much but just look hot and keep up the good looks so I could nut just watching her walk by. On the other hand, a good girl wife would bring serenity, stability, sanity, and submission. She would embody: beauty, life, optimism, pleasantness, loyalty, kindness, gentleness, and innocence. I honestly think it would work out great because I may never nut like my left hand girl but I would at least be at peace with the chaos of the world around me. And since marriage isn't always a bouquet of flowers, it's healthy to fantasize and dream. Neither of these girls are real girls and would never become real with my wife; but they are great ideas to entertain. Which would you do?

Haha just joking but seriously, if it happens by the time I graduate school I will be 25, and I want at least four kids to six, so how old should I be?

I've been married to my husband for almost 4 years. We get along great, never have any issues, I lost sexual attraction for him after my first pregnancy. But recently, I've lost all attraction for him. However, I love him, and can't imagine not being with him. 2 weeks ago, a series of events led me to meeting a police officer who was first on scene to a 911 call I made- for a fight going on. I found him to,be very attractive, but I didn't really think of it at the time, but now, I can't stop thinking about him. I know his name, and have looked him up on Facebook. Something keeps bringing him up, I've tried everything to get him off my mind, and for some reason, something keeps telling me to message him, like, i want a friendship with him almost, but I'm married. I don't get why I can't get him off my mind? It's been 2 weeks, and I don't even know him. Not sure if this is something normal or what I should do?

My wife and I moved in with her partners to help alleviate commute time during the week as they watch our infant daughter while we work. She now wants a divorce and wants me to move out. I m not quite sure how to proceed as from everything I ve read or heard is that when you move out before any type of settlement or temporary orders you kind of surrender your rights and I m not really interested in doing that. However I m wondering if there is an exception as we don t have a permanent residence and we moved in with the in-laws on a kinda open ended agreement until we were ready to put her in daycare.

I'm dancing circles around counseling. You all know that. And the reason that is this way is because my wife would never see a marriage counselor as an authority figure that can "help us". We went once and it was a huge joke to her. They sent home exercises and she was like "I'm not doing these I statements, but you can." and then when I did a "you statement" she'd be like "nah, uh, uh - I statements" and then she would follow up with her own "you statement".... Basically, it's just a big joke to her. She listens to no one. She's leaning atheist these days, she disowned her parents, we are an anarchy (no patriarchy or matriarchy), and she has officially declared she has no friends. I would take away her money but she makes her own; so there's officially NOTHING that I can do force her hand into making changes in her life that would improve our marriage. Nothing. But I try anyways. Every day. I did good for a month or two not asking questions on here, because we were too busy with work and everything was going smoothly; but now I'm here again because I'm remembering why things didn't work... She's a difficult and often toxic person (drama queen). So here's my goal. I want to impose a submissive (not subservient) lifestyle on my wife. I want her to let my decisions have a heavier way on how things go around here than before since this chaotic anarchy isn't working. I want to push her on the path of innocence/optimism and off the path of pessimism. But how to convey this?

Hii me and my husband are married by law but we dont live together yet ...im staying with my aunt who has took me in bc i had parents who abandoned me ...i got married to be emancipated bc my parents are no longer in my life and left me to be homeless ...i want to stay with my aunt so i can finish school and when im done with school me and my husband are going to search for apartments and live together ...i really want to finish school my husband is a full time working man and i dont have anyone to take me to school nor pick me up so my aunt is willing to let me live with her so i can finish school then i will move in with my husband please put yourself in my shoes i have parents who dont want me anymore and my aunt and my husband are the only 2 people who took me in ...my question is can me and my husband get in trouble for not living together ? Note: i live in texas ...my main concern is to finish school my husband is saving money already for an apartment ..i just dont want to get introuble with the law ...help!

I work Part-time. Prior to working my part-time job I was on welfare and living in a shelter. I only work 13 hours a week. I am very worried that my ex will bring me to court for child-support and they will impute my income as if I were working fulltime. I am a female and have always paid for my two children that I do not have custody of. Two years ago over half my check (back when I was working full time) was going to child support and insurance to them. I got it turned off when I ended up on welfare and living in a shelter. I have a 2 year old that I have full custody of and need to support. I don't mind paying child support, but a fair share. Has anyone paid child support when working parttime and did not have it imputed? A backstory to this is I was working part-time like a year ago and they imputed my income as if I were working full-time, meanwhile I was 8 months pregnant and working for Home Depot who practically never ever grants 40 hours a week... And, my ex is on welfare and has been for like 2 years. (Upon reading this I know how awful we sound, but people fall on hard times.)

I am bothered by the fact that they are spending there time off together. In the mornings, getting lunch together and going to dinner together and hanging out after work or going out and exploring the town when they don't need to be together. How do I let this go. It crushes me to costantly hear that she is hanging out with him. they are going to explore the town together or going out after they get done working. Every time I call or she calls me she brings him up or is with him or they just went out or are about to go out. When I am on the phone with her and he is with him she is distracted by what they are doing and not as focused on our conversation or is short with me and quick to hang up the phone. I know she thinks it's rude to be on the phone in front of other people and I agree most of the time but I'm her husband and I feel like I should at least get a couple minutes on the phone. I know it should not bother me but I must admit it hurts. I don't want to nag her or be an annoying husband. I know it's just a business trip. I need advice... what I should do to let go of my negative feelings and thoughts of jellousy/insecuritys. Should I tell her how it makes me feel? Or just get over it. Were young 25 and 24 and have been married a little over a year. Neither of us have ever cheated/been cheated on, I don't think that she is cheating on me now. I just want to know the healthiest way to express my feelings or best way to deal with the way that I feel.

I am insecure. I am not the most attractive person in the world and know my wife could do better. Im overweight, I am on a very strict diet and workout routine that has been giving me good results (25 pounds down) I still have 25 pounds to loose though. any time she goes and hangs out with her girlfriends I am home alone (because I don't have any friends that live close) I want her to be able to hangout with friends but I feel hurt that she is out without me. biggest part: my wife makes 2x as much money as I do. And its always been that way. I am starting up my own company and hopefully one day I will bring in as much as her, but I hate that we are not equal. She fully supports me on starting up my own business and has encouraged me from the start to do this, as in the long run I can make way more money but it could take another 5 or 10 years. Everytime I think about how much she makes compared to me I fel guilty like I am not contributing enough. Any time something good happens to her I tell her how proud and happy I am and how awesome seh is doing, but it makes me feel worse about myself. I truly love her and am so porud of her, I just get down on myself when I compare myself to her. I don't want to loose her. She is perfect in every way. Please help me with advice and ways to get over myself before I let it hurt me, her or our marriage.

My husband just got home from alcohol rehab 11 days ago. He is friends with a husband and wife that we met at church (that we no longer attend) 4 years ago. I never really liked the wife so I have kept my distance a bit. She apparently doesn't like me either. However, until recently it was always the wife calling and texting my husband to make plans with him that exclude me. She would obsessively call and text. He got home 11 days ago after being gone for 4 months. The day after he got home, she started texting him and calling asking him to come over for dinner. He didn't respond, so she started texting me asking me if he had his phone and where he was. Then she sent me a text saying she really wanted to see him on her birthday. The next day she sent me a text saying my husband still wasn't talking to her with a sad faced emoji. Last week, she sent him a friend request on Facebook and he accepted while at work. Within a minute, she had sent him a text saying something about he could accept Facebook requests on his phone but couldn't text her back. Then she accused him of blowing her and her husband off because he declined 4 invitations for dinner at their house last week. Last night he posted a video to Facebook and she texted him saying again that he could upload videos to Facebook but not respond to her texts. My husband is willing to just ignore her because he hates confrontation and he thinks she might not think she is doing anything wrong. It is causing problems. Advice? In addition, to excluding me, she has called him before to tell him she passed me on the street and waved at me but I ignored her. She has also called him to tell him I was rude to her (neither true). I feel like she is trying to come between us. The week before he came home, she sent me a text and asked me if I was done drinking alcohol (I don't drink) and if I am going to keep it in the house once he gets back (another thing I don't do).

He gets angry over small stuff me not telling him I took a drug test for a job, me getting lost in a new town, me asking him why he is rolling up his pants and when he snaps at me he apologizes but then when he gets mad he talks bad at me, my family and then says he's sorry days after. This is his first marriage and he is 48 years old He has called me a b..h, said f you to me that he doesn't love or respect me, he has called me a ****, and said he doesn't care if i get gang rapped and he has called me stupid and an idiot and says i haven't done anything with my life He never spoke to me like this when we were dating. He did this after marriage. He says he probably wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for financial stress. Does a spouse act like this over financial difficulty?

Let's say a man and a woman got married. They were together for years, and stayed married for a few years. The spouse has gone crazy, or became a drug addict, or became physically abusive, or cheated, etc. It's considered wayyyy worse for a woman to get divorced. The above are equal for men and women. But the cheating part has a double standard. It's considered not as bad to for a man to cheat on a woman, than it is for a woman to cheat on a man. That breaks my heart. It's like saying that women are worth a dime a dozen. In fact, I've seen people trivializing male cheating, "He's just being a man" they say..Give him a chance. Meanwhile, if a woman cheats, she's a whore forever, and should be burned at the stake. It's not ok to cheat on anyone. I am not a feminist, I'm an equalist. There shouldn't be such pressure to stay married. I am NOT saying it should be ok to get married and remarried all the time for trivial reasons. I am just saying that it is not always the persons fault under spe circumstances I know gay marriage is allowed, and I have absolutely nothing against it. I used straight marriage for a reason; to show the difference between what happens to the ex wife vs what happens to the ex husband. I still think that women who get divorced are stigmatized a little more strongly. @Bruce, have you never heard the term sociopath? Those scumbags can pose as something else, be it a gay marriage or straight, they can have the person fooled for years, until they find that their spouse is on the hook, and after that they let let their true selves show. Marriage should not be considered a failure for anyone in this case. Sociopaths are the most fake people, and sadly, the best actors. They can fool pretty much anyone.

How long are couples usually engaged before they get married? Is there an average amount of time?

I am bothered by the fact that they are spending there time off together. In the mornings, getting lunch together and going to dinner together and hanging out after work or going out and exploring the town when they don't need to be together. It really botheres me. Can somebody help me. How do I let this go. It crushes me to costantly hear that he is hanging out with her. they are going to explore the town together or going out after they get done working. Every time I call or he calls me he brings her up or is with her or they just went out or are about to go out. When I am on the phone with him and he is with her he us distracted by what they are doing and not as focused on our conversation or is short with me and quick to hang up the phone. I know it should not bother me but I must admit it hurts. I am not telling him that it botheres me (unless advised by multiple people I should) I don't want to nag him or be an annoying wife. I know it's just a business trip. I need advice... what I should do to let go of my negative feelings and thoughts of jellousy/insecuritys. And Should I tell him how it makes me feel? Or just get over it. If I'm a crazy controlling wife that is wayyy out of line and needs special help let me know too. Were young and new to being married and I just want to deal with this in the best way possible.

My husband is always drunk and he is never willing to take responsibilities. I work all day to earn money. His friend helped me get a job in his office. We work together. He is my manager. Recently we started flirting with each other. I am more interested in him. He also likes me. My husband is a low life and in my marriage of 5 years he is being an asshole. So last month he grabbed me from my breasts and started kissing me i was enjoying and replied with kisses. We undressed each other and he fu*ked my brains out. He is so good damn. He is unmarried and says i have a great body and a great personality. I feel heavens when he kisses me and touches me. Since one month we are having sex daily after office. He is asking me to marry him because he wants a family from me. Me on the other side only has a dumb husband. He has sexual dysfunction and cant get me pregnant. But his friend is absolutely the best.

What is your opinion on the number of sexual partners a person has before marriage? Puritanical ideals aside, Do you think that having a more experienced sex life before marriage can help fight the need to have "needs" to cheat during marriage? I've only been with two women apart from my current gf. I've been thinking more and more about marriage and kids lately and this question came up.

Is wanting space unreasonable?

I'm going to attempt to post this with a picture. Every time I do this my questions don't make it into M&D but I am going to try for the sake of this question... So, Hi. I've been on Yahoo! Answers asking questions for about 4 years now. And something everyone is telling me is "you can only control yourself, you can't control others"... I get it, I totally do, but what about those old school marriages where one or both people believe they have a "better half"? This is essentially codependency in today's society, but in yesteryear this was just called marriage. So when a person identifies as a half of a person, do they get to control themselves AND their other half? Or better yet, when neither halves act like they are in control (green circle in picture) and one person decides to start doing that, is it their responsibility to do it for both halves? Honestly, the line between me and my wife is blurred. I've pushed for individualism for a while now but she likes the safety and security of identifying collectively as a "married couple". But she is NOT in control of herself. Her effort, attitude, behavior, and actions are all consequences of her mood/emotions. Instead she tries to control others (red area in picture)... And when I see her out of self control (acting impulsive), what am I supposed to do if it is directly affecting me? My wife had a fall accident that made her "lose a day" and the trauma may have affected her PFC. She may never have a green circle. Ever... Bummed I'm not getting any additional answers on this... I ask serious questions that beg real answers and no one answers; I ask moronic questions that beg intense trolling and all the abusers come running... WTF is wrong with this place...

I'm a married mom or two boys. I feel so busy and stressed out all the time. I feel like my friends and family are ALWAYS filling up our calendar with get togethers and just stuff they want to do with us. I do get bad anxiety and I don't feel comfortable socializing my friends and relatives know this but they don't listen to me they just keep filling up my schedule for me ugh :(. What can I do? I want to be left alone I want to do what I want to do. Doesn't anyone else feel this way?

My husband is one of those guys that when he s mad he just want to be left alone. When he s ready to talk about it he will come around. I m always worrying about him not talking etc... so this weekend everything was going fine. We were at home, he had to go run some errands. His daughter live with us for almost a year now. Since day one she has always been lazy, he has paid everything for her.. he s still paying for her school. ... she s 21. The only times we fight is because i tell him that his daughter needs to help around the house, when i say help.. i mean clean, and help cook. So i guess for a while she started helping.. but she always had this attitude. She was disrespectful a lot of times toward me. But this past weekend was just horrible. He went to run his errands, i was outside with my 3 kids. We came back inside and his daughter yelled at me - her dad was on the cell and wanted to speak to me.. so i told her " i ll call him from my daughter s phone" so i dialed his number and i guess he answered - i was to busy defending myself from my step daughter. She just started with her attitude and i didn t know what was her problem. We got into a big argument that even my 14 year old daughter got into it. my daughter told her " i don t know who the hell you think you are, but i don t want you to talk to my mom like that, you are under her roof and they can kick you out anytime" so after all this happened i was just shaky and so mad. I didn't mention that when he came back home .. he was so upset and he kicked her out. I think his plans were to talk to her, but she was really rude to him and he blew up. So he's acting quiet towards me.

I also moved to California for a job, and she lives in Miami.

I have been living in the Chicago suburbs since 1989, and I absolutely HATE it here! But my wife likes it here, and doesn't want to move any time soon. (She has said that she is open to moving after we retire, but that is still a long way off.) For me, this area is nothing but bland suburban sprawl, ugly housing developments and shopping malls for mile after mile, surrounded by endless miles of monotonous cornfields and soybean fields. There isn't a decent place for hiking or backpacking (the things I love more than anything else) within 200 miles of here. For work reasons, I had to stay in the San Francisco area for an extended time, and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I tried to convence my wife to move there, but to no avail. I love my wife and for her sake, I have tried to be happy here, but it is so hard! I am at my wits end. I need suggestions.

What's some good ideas you might have tried to spice up your marriage or relationship, and did it work?

I was pregnant with our second child... my husband didn't just cheat on me with some random girl, he cheated on me with his daughters mother in our house while i was home... I know the more i say that the dumber i feel. I was upstairs sleeping and he did her on the couch... i woke up to go pee heard some noises in the living room and went to investigate... thats when i saw prolly the most horrible sight of my life... hes a functioning alcoholic makes it to work everyday comes home does more "side jobs" and goes to bed... when he had his own business he worked on a job away from home and stayed with one of his female employees in a hotel room her and i use to get along and talk but after that job she has never talked to me again... he swears nothing happened but im not sure... he is constantly watching porn and he even has a profile on AshleyMadison.com and several other "hook-up" sights... constantly on craigslist looking at personal adds and I'm beginning to realize typing this how stupid i must look to all of you... Its just that we have 4 children together and what little time he does spend with them will disappear if we separate plus how am i suppose to take care of 4 children by myself on a part time job... we cant even make it with him working full time and his side jobs and my part time... and yes i still love him very much and i hate him all at the same time... Idk does anyone have any ideas on how to make this work what not?

My husband was married once before me and supposedly this woman gave him a hard time changing her last name in the first place because she was the last child in her family to have it. When they were in court for their divorce she was given the option to go back, for no charge at all (BTW the divorce was her doing without trying to work through). She didn't and just kept his. They do not have children. I could understand that being a good reason if they did. My husband is so frustrated she kept it and for some reason it gets to me as well. I also come from divorced parents and my mother gave the last name right back with no question.

My husband and I both get an "allowance" as we call it. Mostly we just save our money to have a night on the town. Or we just save it literally for a rainy day! We are frugal people so we usually just give one another 50.00 a piece each week. We can do whatever we want with this amount of money. It's funny because most of the time we just end up doing stuff together with it. How much do you get? Do you think you get enough "allowance"? Do you get any at all? Sometimes I think oh what's the point. But other days I enjoy my money. I just hate seeing money fly out of my pocket book like it's going out of style. It brings pain to me to see money being spent. Even if it's like 5.00 it's terrible to just see it vanish. But luckily as long as my husband has a little spending money he is cooperative when it comes to being frugal with other things. So how is frugal living for you?

Recently we were pretty much done with each other and so she found out I knew they had sex that she says was a mistake while she clearly hid the relationship from me. Yea I talked to her life a dog we weren't having sex and we both were over but under the same roof is crazy. She knew I had cheated b4. She says we now need to move on and work together on our marriage and a house and baby. She just wants to be with me but to me our sex life is good but does seem akward at times to me she say it feels normal but iidk ? Now im thinkn cut it. She doesn't seem the same

Our very first anniversary is the 23rd. I got a positive pregnancy test this morning. We had been trying so this is happy news :) My question is, would it be mean of me to wait until our anniversary to tell him? I know he'll be happy, I'm just not sure if my idea is cute or if I should just do it now. I was going to write it in a card and give it to him. I haven't told anybody, minus the people reading this question

Yesterday I got home an forgot I had my cigarettes in my bag I panic an tried to hide them under the hood of the car in my gym bag my when I did that the truck got stuck an my wife seen it was mess up she ask me what under there an I told her that it was a bag with my cigarettes in it we tried to open the hood an it got stuck I pulled to a neighbor house to see if he had some to pop it he didn't we have had a rough pass an now she think I was hiding some condoms an phone witch I did she hates when I smoke so I be hiding it we have 4 small kids an I don't want her to leave

My husband just bought me a new bracelet, but every time i put it on.. It pulls the hair on my wrist.. I really don't want to ask him to take it back, and get a new one.. What can i do to fix this? I actually have a decent amount of hair on my wrist, and it's kind of long, I really don't want to remove the hair on my wrist, but if it's the only way.....

Sometimes I even wish I had a girlfriend to flirt with, or even make it to "first base" with, but I know that is frowned upon.

I left my husband because he was a drunk and verbally and emotionally abusive to my 5 year old son and myself. It's crushing me. I still love him so much. My boy and me stay in a shelter. I had a job but was let go because I missed too many days being totally depressed. All I do now is lay in bed. My boy just started kindergarten. I am trying to find work but its not happening fast enough. My money is running out. My darkness is taking over and all I can think about is death. I have a plan. I know to give my car to my son's father (not my husband) so my boy can still make it to school. My son is hyper active and I can't handle it. He would be better off without a depressed mom who either is laying in bed or yelling at him. I am just done! Hate me all you want. Call me selfish. I just don't care anymore. As soon as my boy goes with his dad this weekend I'm writing my letters and doing what I got to do.