For the first wedding in my family a surprise bridal/baby shower was held in the matron of honor s home and planed jointly by her and our mother. More recently, when another sister married a woman, our mother declared that she would not allow a family antique to be used to celebrate a shower for them, because she believes same sex marriage is a sin. Unfortunately she s not the only woman in the family who feels this way. The antique will pass to me, so asked my father for advice on which female relative I could reach out to for advice on how to handle this situation... He said he would handle it, so I let the matter drop. I was wrong. There was no shower for my sister s wedding and I know that she was hurt by this. Is there any tradition I could use to plan a celebration of her union after the fact with her female family and friend? I can t make what happened right, but I want to do something and I know adhering to as many wedding traditions as possible was important to them.

I do understand that he wants to have a smaller wedding to have better finances, but I can't help but want to share the day with all of our family and friends.