For more than 20 years, my wife has been threatening to leave every six months to a year. She's never actually left, and every time this has happened I've talked her out of it and worked to make things better and address whatever the issue seemed to be at the time. I've always remembered special days, such as anniversary, birthday, Christmas, etc, and for our last anniversary, I went all out, flew us to an amazing place that she loved, stayed at one of the nicest resorts we've ever been to, pampered and spoiled her, and then about a month after we returned, it was the same old thing all over again, but this time was more difficult, because she told me that she didn't think she loved me anymore. Things seemed to calm down a bit, but then a few months later she said it again, and my response was simply "ok". I want to believe that I've done everything I can through the years to keep this together. I know that I am not perfect, but I also know I've tried very hard to make this work. When I told her "ok", we started down the road of talking about divorcing, and it did not take long for her to completely reverse herself. My problem is that now I have checked out. I'm emotionally divested and at this point I don't feel like I can continue. I feel like if I recant and try to rebuild yet again, it will just be another few months before she dashes it again, and I just don't want to keep going through this. I feel like I've been a fool to go through it as long as I have. In fact, I feel like I've been holding her hostage in this marriage for way too long, always thinking that it would get better...whether it meant having kids, moving to a different place, getting involved in different things, going to church, whatever. Now she's telling me that it's all me, and that I'm overreacting, because she never physically left me, though she did at one point tell me that she considered us divorced/separated even though we could still live together in the same house. I feel like I'm being painted as the bad guy now and I don't know what to do. My kids know the story; they've heard her threaten to leave so many times that one of them actually came to me and told me he wants to stay with me after the divorce. Two of the kids are about ready for college, and the other is entering high school soon. I hate to put them through a divorce, but I feel like maybe keeping them in a dysfunctional household like this is perhaps worse than being in a broken home situation. Anyone have any reasoning for me on this? I'm exhausted and need to know if anyone else has gone through this and might have some advice to help me make a decision.

My wife and I have been together for 7 years. We have two children. My daughter is not biologically mine, but see's me as her one and only Daddy. My son is ours and has always had Mommy and Daddy together. Over the years we have had our share of intense arguments. Early in the relationship It seemed that, when it got too intense for her, she would throw out a threat of leaving or maybe we shouldn't stay together. My first emotional reaction was to try and change her mind, so I would kiss her feet and try to romance her into staying. It seemed to work out, but the threats kept coming, so I would try new things like ask her what she wanted from me to make it work. No matter what I did the threats kept coming, so I got sick of it! I called her on what I thought was a bluff or cry for attention. No it wasn't! What did she do? She left without hesitation! She didn't even look shocked or even show emotion. She quickly packed her things and took off. I wanted to grab her tight and hold her and tell her that I loved her, but I fought it to see if she really wanted out. She did! She went to her Mom's house. Shortly after leaving me she found out she was two months pregnant. What was I supposed to do? I did love her and outside of the arguments, she expressed so much love for me too. She wanted to try to make a family work and so did I, so we got back together. We had an understanding that the threats needed to stop and the kids needed to be secure in this new family. At first it seemed fine and when we got in arguments, she seemed to withhold from threatening. Over the years she would slip up and threaten me every now and then. I would chase her down to keep our family together, but over the years it has increased and increased! Today's threat hurt so bad as they all do. We got in a fight over the phone and I hung up on her first, so she calls me back and leaves a message. She threatened to shut off her phone so I couldn't call her and then threatens to take me off her Facebook and change her status to single. She calls again and again, so I eventually I pick up. I say hello and before I can get another word out, she threatens to leave and move in with her Dad and tells me I can pay child support for my son. I ask her why is it always so easy to end our relationship. She tells me that she doesn't think she is the relationship type because she can't handle anyone hanging up on her first. I told her that I would never hang up on her first again, if it would keep our family together. See! It is always a shock to me, when she threatens to leave me, because she shows so much love and devotion to me outside of our arguments. As a matter of fact, this was the first argument we have gotten into in like a month! She was just bragging about me being so great to some friends yeasterday! I am always so confused but here I am again. She shows me that she can kick me aside at any moment. It makes me feel like a worthless piece of SHT! I am always the one fighting to keep us together! She can take off at any moment and makes sure I know this! It is nothing but her controling me with her threats to keep me in line. This is so hard for me, because I love her and our family. I don't want to end the kids security over something I can fix myself. Yeah, when she threatens to leave me, it FCKS ME UP! I am sick of it, but I know if I call her on it, she will take the kids and FCK THEM UP too! What do I do here!?!?! I just want to have a secure family without threats. Will she ever stop? How can I get her to stop? How does this end?

I always hear other people's wives retaliating/punishing their husbands by saying "no sex for a month/year/etc)" Why do they do this?? Don't they care about sex??

Serie, not serial.

But she then breaks up with him... Then two months later finds out he is in a relationship with the adultress. She Then asks him if he still has love for her, and he says his love left because she doesn't accept his bad life decisions. Is he a coward?

why are cheating men always trying to get be with me?

My husband and I have been married for 6 years now. He just had his 30th birthday and it coincides with Christmas so I threw him a party with family and close friends. I was going to get more food to bring out from the kitchen. And his friend walked in and said I looked sexy. I laughed it off, hoping it was meant to be harmless. Then he said no, like really sexy, you always do. And I said he shouldn't say things like that and he said okay but if you change your mind, let me know. I was wearing a red v neck top with long sleeves, jeans, and red heels. I told my husband about it a few days later. And he talked to his "friend"and said they aren't anymore. He said he understands other men looking at me but it shouldn't ever go beyond looks.The whole situation made me upset though. Yes I put effort into my appearence FOR MY HUSBAND. I think he's sexy and I want him to have a wife he can be proud is his. I know he values more than my looks but still. This is not the first time men have hit on me and I'm always wearing my wedding&engagement ring. My husband says not to get angry about it but I've talked to my friends about it and they said they've had it happen to them but not to this extreme. It just makes me feel bad. Like is it me or are just all men disgusting? Do you think some could assume my ring isn't a wedding ring?

the difference between being "In Love with" and "Loving" your spouse? No answers needed after 12/30/2016. Thank you.

At the moment I'm a young stay at home mom and wife. My husband knows what he wants to do with his life and doesn't rely on me for anything besides love and support. Where me on the other hand I have no direction in my life, I don't know what I want and I depend on him for everything. Comfort happiness etc. Our daughter is 11 months and I can't picture myself away from neither of them. And he's so fed up with me depending on him for everything that it's pushing him away. He told me he has 1 foot in and 1 foot out. He told me I need to figure myself out if we're going to save our family. I have a certification for completing a medical coding course but it's not a national certification and and I have a interest in makeup and beauty. But I try to picture my future and all I see is me just supporting my husband and taking care of our home and baby. Nothing more. And I do want to be able to say that I am more than that or that I have something for just me. But I want to save my marriage and family. I just see myself doing nothing. My parents were the same. I wasn't raised to be independent or to have my own life. All of the mother figures in my family are all housewives who don't know what they want to do or only do something because they're husband does it. And my husband and I are two very different people. He says he loves me and loves us and that he'll support me but it comes down to me to figure out what I want. Wether we're together or not. What do I do??

When my wife and I have a disagreement, I find that I am honestly trying to be introspective and look for what I might have done to exacerbate the issue. Most often I find myself apologizing for my contribution to the issue and my wife just sits there. I understand the nature of disagreements is that each party is convinced that they are right, and ours are no different. There have been times when I've had to put my hat in my hand and admit complete fault for issues that, in hindsight, were mostly my own doing...I'm confident that that my being hard-headed is NOT an issue as I have apologized for several things I have done wrong. My wife, on the other hand, does not seem to be at all introspective. She refuses to consider her role in any wrongdoing. Even simple misunderstandings by both parties which warrants a simple "my bad" tend to snowball into enormous emotional fits as my wife digs in her heels and REFUSES to budge. Most often this leads me to become more upset and find myself losing my temper because I honestly feel like I'm going insane. Im.mot trying to be ugly but it's seriously like to talking to our 7 year old. The most recent misunderstanding (exactly that...a misunderstanding) my wife starting texting her friends about how horrible I am. I literally did nothing to be mischaracterized so harshly and when I confronted her about it, she shut down, stated bawling and eventually locked herself in the car in the driveway. What's going on???

If she likes black guys? I'm not black but I think she likes me, however she's been with black guys and I feel uneasy about that. I prefer not dating coal burners/mudsharks, etc. I'm not racist either, I mean I don't feel superior to black guys in general at all. A lot of them are better off than me. what do you think? I'm latino btw, not white.

I'm 26 years old and the man I'm wildly in love with just let me go earlier today. I've felt him distancing himself from me over the past few weeks but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I am completely in love with him. He is a wonderful person with all the qualities I've ever wanted in a life-long partner, plus more. He's taught me so much about myself and life. I don't want to live without him now, but he said we simply can't be together. I'm torn apart, he told me that he thinks the world of me and if anything ever changes in the future, he will come find me, he promises. But, I have no idea how to get through each day without him in my life now. I know time heals everything, I know it will get easier as time goes on. But I hurt so bad, I need advice for how to get through the pain now when it's so fresh. I don't want to date someone else, it wouldn't be fair because I couldn't possibly give myself to anyone else right now. It's not fair to rebound with someone. Please help, please. Any kind words of advice are so appreciated.

She says I need to know the truth about him so I don't idolize him (I don't idolize him I just want a Dad and a Mom instead of cutting him out of my life like she seems to want me to to do).

Long story short. Every marriage I assume has issues. My situation ismy husband had this job where he would work from 9 AM to 6Am with a 1 hr lunch break at 2AM. He started taking his female coworker out to eat during his lunch hr at 2, which seems like no big deal only I never knew about this till I started seeing him act different as in when we moved into our new place we would argue more because I felt like something was wrong, sex was just blah because he says we were always arguing etc. He later admit it to me he was taking this girl out to eat because he needed to "vent" because he could never talk to me without being judged or accused about his past. He tells me he never caught feelings for her nor was it anything to see what he can get from hertells me he nevertouched her it was just something he needed to get off his chest. I checked his bank statement and they weren t consecutive times they went out it was 2 times in Sept and 2 times in Oct. What bugs me is the when we were trying to fix things at home he was still taking this girl out at night for lunch! He s like I was being selfish and only thinking about myself and what I needed to do to get this off me, she was there that s why I spoke with herhe tells me I knew I should have told u I was just scared to loose u. He s like I never wanted anything with her I could careless if she listened to my problem or not I just needed to get it off me. Now I don t want to think. Please help

She says she divorced my Dad to protect me and my siblings from their fighting caused by him. It might be true but it means it is my fault because I am the only one of the kids who complained about them fighting and said it scares me. Will I keep getting blamed for this until I die? I really am convinced I got them divorced as they separated a month after I complained. After their divorce my Dad became an alcoholic and still is one and he is not the same. We seldom see him. Will she blame me forever and how do I stop feeling so ashamed?

Me and my wife like to shower together every night. Is this normal ?

We are married and have an 11 month. She's 7 months pregnant also I've done a lot of harm to her like not being there for her. Not showing her affection and romance and constantly I would leave the house and not come back till the next day. I believe she is doing this out of revenge for all the hurt I gave her. So I'm willing to forgive her and be different but now it seems she doesn't care and and seems she will continue cheating.. she has gave me a lot of hints of what she is doing like she wants me know that she cheated.. her attitude towards me is completely different. And she wants me to accept that as the normal. I can't continue like this but I want to work it out and put it past us.. I'm the only family she has if I leave she has Nothing and no family. She's not form this county so she can't work either. What should I do should I leave???

I had my fiances phone and was nosey and went through it. I have an ex wife too so its not an insecurity with me I just wanted to know the truth of their relationship before we get married next year. Me and my ex wife had a horrible divorce but we are cordial to each other and no unresolved feelings. We respect each other and work with each other. But it doesn't seem that way with her. She texts her ex (who is already married) every single day but he barely texts her back. She will send almost 10 messages to him a day about their 4 year old son. I read that he told her she was texting too much, and she got mad and told him that since he is backing away she wont send anything with their son. I dont know this man only met him once but he pays 500 in child support, never late on his payment, and from what it seems a pretty good father. Then she criticizes him through text he ignores it and then she asked him for a favor he ignored that too. He lives 4 hours away and asked for a reduction in support so he can get his son more, she said no yet she bashes him when he says he doesnt have the money that week to drive and pick him up. We are getting married in 8 months. Do you think she still has unresolved issues. It's almost as if she hates this man still

My husband and I have been together 7yrs, We met a month after he got back from his tour in Iraq, married a year later. He is ex-marine and been diagnosed with; PTSD, anxiety, and depression most of which he had before the military and fiercely refuses treatment for, When I met him he was very closed off -he doesn't open up easily and doesn't want to be around many people-, He rarely attends social events with me, He prefers it to be the two of us which I normally have no problem with because I absolutely adore him but I'm a very social person with a big group of friends, My H however is a secluded individual & only mixes at the gym when he's fighting, He has an intimidating demeanour to people but he is not what he seems. Right now his focus is on fighting and steroid use, I've only seen him fight once & was shocked that he has so much anger built up inside of him, He told me what drives him is pure unfiltered rage, His fighting scares the **** out of me -for that reason he asked me not to attend his fights so I don't see that side of him- I feel a lot of pressure from him sometimes because he claims I am the only person he feels safe with and trusts, He is never far from my side -wants sex a lot and even when I'm sleeping he pulls me close into him, Don't get me wrong I'm deeply in love with this man but I feel suffocated, Any advice guys?

My ex-boyfriend and I broke 4 years ago. We met when he was in his first year of university. A year and a half into our relationship I found out I was pregnant. HE agreed to take a semester off school to find a job to help prepare for the babies arrival. Come the baby's birth he was still working at his minimum wage job. When our son was six months old we broke up. He was ordered by the court to pay 300.00 a month plus health insurance. Daycare and extras were all on me and had to be taken out of the child support. I currently work full-time and going to school. While he is living in a nice house his parents pay for, he has no bills and doesn't pay for his own car. And his parents pay for his child support so he can keep his paycheck to himself. I have tried to have it garnished from his paychecks so its him paying for it and not his parents. But the judge didn't see the need since he was paying on time. I'm just annoyed. I'm struggling to make ends meet. Visit the food bank, am on food stamps and trying to make a better life for me. He is living with no worry's, no debt, in a nice house and can play the weekend dad. He told me if I couldn't afford to take care of our child, he'd gladly take primary custody. I tried to gain advice and everyone says child support is based on income. He doesn't have a high paying job but rich family who supports him. Any advice? I could look into parental support but I'm pretty sure he is covering his tracks pretty good. HIs parents have money and if I go back to court I need to have a strong case because they have money to fight me all the way. And how do I get proof of parental support? He'll deny it and his parents are smart and well off people so probably no ways around this. They don't like me. I know we moved really quickly and both made less than stellar choices. But I thought he was a good guy with good life goals. I was fooled and I feel foolish for allowing that.

They aren't lesbians: I don't ask them about their lovelives. They make comments about how I'm very into my looks. Why the concern on their part

My ex just all of sudden stopped talking to me 3 months ago. Now we do work together just recently he started coming around me. Just coming by my desk asking work related questions. Anyway for the past month I've noticed he's been wearing the same clothes everyday. Now he used to be a really sharp dresser. Now everyday I see him he wears the same dirty hoodie and jeans. When we first got together several years ago he had a financial mishap. He became distant and I demanded an answer and broke down and told me he was in financial distress. I understood it happens and hell I've experienced it. I really care about this guy that's why I'm concerned. It's freezing here in Chicago and when I see him every morning with no coat on. He would never ever do that in past. I also should add he has a teenage son.

Hi. I need some help with my husband's behavior. We've been married for 2 years and he's always messing around on Facebook chat with girls. He's always trying to initiate conversations with girls. Before, he used to chat with old friends and I didn't had a problem since he knew them for a long time. But now he's been chatting with girls he met while being married to me. As soon as he adds a new girl on Facebook, he immediately wants to get to know her and share everything about his life with her. I don't find it normal. What's the point of meeting girls when he's married and about to start a family with me? Right now he's been talking to 4 girls that he doesn't know very well. I just don't know how to make him understand that it's not acceptable. I've told him in the past that it bothers me and he tells me: "You need to just relax because and understand that I'm not doing anything bad". So he expects me to accept what he does and be cool with it. And if I tell him to stop he makes me feel like I'm a psycho that doesn't want him to have a social life. His ex girlfriend used to message him in the past and just because I told him to cancel her from Facebook he got mad at me. So why did he married me then? If he wasn't ready to be serious he should've stayed single. Please help me because I can't stand his behavior anymore. I don't want to have kids with a man that can't let go of other women.

I love my wife but she takes zero accountability. Every single little thing that happens in life, she relies on me for ALL the answers... Sounds romantic? Not after 3 years. She doesn't evern try to figure anything out and she forgets everything and I mean everything. I don't just do everything for her, I explain why it's important she learn and then I teach her step by step (ex. Paying power bill). She never listens, forgets everything and then blames me when things aren't done. I'm thinking that I need to challenge her more.. Ie. Just let her figure things out on her own instead of explaining, but that means I still have to tell her what to figure out and then wait while she gets frustrated to figure out basic things. I don't think this should be my job. Anybody been through this? What did you do?

OK me and my husband have been married for 11 years and we were getting ready to do it and I told him to get a condom but he did not want one and so I was like then no sex. Then he grabbed my arms and pushed me down and forced me. I said no you are hurting me stop you are hurting. But he did not right away. Conventionally he did and he then he did grab a condom he did leave bruises on my wrists. We have been having problems before that but nothing like this. Then 3 weeks later he tried to pay me for sex like I am prostitute and he doesn't think he did anything wrong. So I told him that I am going to leave but I want my kids to finish the school year out. And he is making me feel like I am in the wrong that I am ruining his life and his family. I do love him but I am scared of leaving. What do I do

Long story short. Every marriage I assume has issues. My situation ismy husband had this job where he would work from 9 AM to 6Am with a 1 hr lunch break at 2AM. He started taking his female coworker out to eat during his lunch hr at 2, which seems like no big deal only I never knew about this till I started seeing him act different as in when we moved into our new place we would argue more because I felt like something was wrong, sex was just blah because he says we were always arguing etc. He later admit it to me he was taking this girl out to eat because he needed to "vent" because he could never talk to me without being judged or accused about his past. He tells me he never caught feelings for her nor was it anything to see what he can get from hertells me he nevertouched her it was just something he needed to get off his chest. I checked his bank statement and they weren t consecutive times they went out it was 2 times in Sept and 2 times in Oct. What bugs me is the when we were trying to fix things at home he was still taking this girl out at night for lunch! He s like I was being selfish and only thinking about myself and what I needed to do to get this off me, she was there that s why I spoke with herhe tells me I knew I should have told u I was just scared to loose u. He s like I never wanted anything with her I could careless if she listened to my problem or not I just needed to get it off me. Now I don t want to think. Please help

My husband and I are currently at odds with each other on Christmas plans. He has a day of obligation at church (Christmas) so we HAVE to go. After church he wants to go to his aunt's house for an hour or two. I don't get along with his aunt (who is like a second mother to him) though I do my best to be polite and civil with her. Any time we spend time there I always end up ignored in the corner. But I understand its Christmas so I'm willing to sacrifice a few hours of discomfort so he can be with his family (his parents live abroad so they will not be here during the holidays.) But that's not enough for him. He wants to spend Christmas eve with another relative. I told him flat out no. Neither one of us will have vacation time because the holiday falls on a weekend anyways and I just want to spend time together, just the two of us. Its our first Christmas as a married couple and I don't want to spend the entire holiday with his entire extended family. Last year I tried to make a plan that we could go to my family for Thanksgiving and his for Christmas and then alternate holidays each year. That plan doesn't work because his family doesn't do Thanksgiving, so we automatically have Thanksgiving at my family's home and Christmas is just the issue. I'm not deliberately trying to keep him from his family - he can literally see them anytime he likes. I don't care. It's just that he knows Christmas is my favorite holiday and it means a lot to me that we spend it together. He thinks I am being ridiculous because I dont want to spend the entire holiday weekend with his family. In case it wasn't clear: I'm not seeking a solution. I am asking if I am being unreasonable because I don't want to spend TWO days with two different parts of his family when I will barely get 4 hours with mine at the end of Christmas Day.

I been married for 6 yrs , i was due for my paps test and i was told im HPV posstive , i have diffently been Faithfull does it mean my husband is cheating on me ? And i also seen he has sent his photo on online dating

I'm fairly certain that I am in a DV relationship, my partner yells at me, his verbally abusive and he constantly hits me over the head, shoves or pushes me and on the occasion he will even strangle me. However my mum was pretty rough and my dad was pretty loud so the lines are blurred for me. Im certain that I have postnatal depression, we have a small child together and I also have another child that he has practically raised. Opinions?

I have been married for 2 years, together for 6. For the first 3 years or so of our relationship, we partied a lot. He was a little too flirty when he was drunk, and he had several female friends who 'really' liked him. I think I tolerated all that a little more than I should have at the time, but I was trying to be mature I think. Since he stopped drinking and I cut back quite a bit, we really don't fight hardly at all anymore. Things are great. But he recently told me that while he was out of town on a business trip several months ago, he reached out to one of these old friends who had moved to that town and they had lunch together (with her bf, he says). It didn't go well, he said. They didn't have much in common anymore and he declined a second invite from her to hang out that week. He apologized for not telling me, he just knew it would upset me since I did not leave off on good terms with her.I feel betrayed because she owes me a huge apology, and I feel like my husband didn't stick up for me in that situation like he should have. He and I talked about all that and he agrees that he should have. But now it's drudging up all these old emotions about what happened 3 years ago and I'm upset about it all over again. I'm resentful because, for the sake of avoiding conflict and in the spirit of forgiveness, my feelings got swept under the rug and it was never resolved. So, do i seek closer at this point by drudging it all up again? or move on, enjoy my hair marriage?

Every time my wife and I cuddled at night. with in the 5 minutes I get a hard on!! Every time and she gets upset cuz she only wants to cuddled

We are married from 7+ years. -We were fine in initial years but now we are fighting on every single thing. After fights , we stop talking to each others for 4-5 days then i am the first to start conversation every time . -He never apologizes even if he knows he is wrong . -He gets angry for everything.We are couple in front of society but Our intimacy is almost zero .we hardly have s*x once in 2-3 months. ps: He doesn't have extramarital affair. -Whole day ,he sits in front of office laptop or TV or mobile or any other gadget -Even if i am ill ,he never cares . i have to go to doc alone and take care of myself afterthat -If i need any type of support (emotionally/ physically /financially) , he is never there -I tried talking to him multiple times to make relationship better but nothing is working. -Sometimes he verbally abuses me so much that tears come in my eyes But rather than showing any sympathy he calls everything "drama" I know he has changed a lot over years ,i know my life is hell and i can give him divorce at any moment and get free from this abusive relation.I can get any good guy too .My brain says to leave him BUT MAIN PROBLEM IS MY HEART, I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH.He is the only person to whom i love from bottom of my heart ,he has changed but my love hasn't changed. I still want this marriage to work and don't want divorce .I can't live without him & keep loving him till death do us part. Please help me to get my soulmate back. Ps : i am not native english speaker so please ignore gramtical errors.Also if you don't have anything good/meaningful to say ,please don't answer question.I am already going thru very stressful time i Agree, he is no where near ideal man/ soul mate now these days. i agree that he is an idiot and it is getting difficult to live with him BUT love does not mean you marry a person when you feel good with him and situation is according to your ideal situation and throw that man out of your life when situation is changed.Biggest question is that how to stop loving him? How to stop feeling hurt when he is injured? How to stop caring for him when he is ill? Yes,as mentioned ,"we" stop talking to each others for 4-5 days after fights .If i talk to him or start initiating conversation "in between 4-5 days" then his response is only yelling /shouting / scolding or breaking things.So i too avoid talking 4-5 days till he cools down. regarding Therapy, i asked him many times but he is not agreeing.

I have been with my husband for 10 years. For the past 3 years it has been a constant battle whenever I try to ask for sex. We do not have children, so it's not like we have outside distractions. He doesn't work, yet he's exhausted (so he says) every minute of everyday. I have now started to resent him, and I have decided to completely stop asking or talking about sex. I would like to know, what could be his issue?

I want to have sex daily especially if it's loaded with lots of sucking and licking. My husband likes sex once a week. How can I control my high libido?

my wife left me will she come back

I am a Japanese woman in 30 s and have been dating and exchanged texts for 6 month with an African American. This is my first experience to be in a relationsip with foreigner and I sometimes can not see how he think of me. Before he called me sweetie and babe but recently changed to my dear and he said he hopes I can make dinner for him someday. That means our relationsip is closer??

I have always had long hair. But hubby wants me to try short. What would you do Really???