I see her like I'm her long lost brother, lost at conception

Age at the time of my arrest: 10 Outcome: Institutionalized for several years for conduct disorder and other things. What was my mind like: Before my friend nd I got arrested for beating up two 1st graders to the point of sending them to the hospital (our original plan was to get them lost in the woods and then leave but then we got bored and started hitting them), I wrote things in my journal. It got confiscated. It mainly consisted of very dark material of our thoughts. I was a total mess back then and my mindset wasn't right. I do regret it all; everything. Is this something he has to know about though???

I feel like an idiot. But I'm a grown woman who took karate lesson to learn self defense... But I just couldn't handle the pressure of them hitting and trying to learn thing fastly I am soppose to learn karate move, I dont even know the name off. No study sheet or anything. I felt like I was frustrating them because I couldn't get it. I'm the type of learner that no matter how many times u show me, I wont remember until after a few days. So when they showed me I couldn't do it right. I almost cried because I can't learn like that...It was my third class. Keep in mind I'm a white belt in a class full of black belts I feel bad but I quit...and I'm going to try self-defense for woman thats one on one and is a little more gentile .