I will ask about this from time to time until the wedding. My siblings and I are second rate. You probably remember my story from before. Our grandfather was an alcoholic and so our Mom did not let us go to family functions since he didn't get help. As I got older we got closer but my mother never did holidays with the family so we were stuck travelling with her (our Mom). As a result I am kind of 2nd tier as a cousin, they see my brothers and I like 2nd cousins I assume. It will open all the wounds of being 2nd rate if excluded when all the other cousins are asked (my Mom is one of 6 kids and all have kids). So I am very scared about this and have asked a few times back. Another cousin married and asked us a few years ago, that one was having a huge wedding though of great wealth. This one will likely have about 75-100 people only. Obviously I can only go if invited as I would never invite myself to a wedding. How do I prevent being excluded? My Mom and Dad will be asked I'm sure but we adult children may be excluded. I hate this feeling. Often holidays parties we aren't asked cause the family knows my Mom will say know and so they assume I am still with her (I'm an adult out on my own). My Dad was an only child so my grandparents and a great-aunt were the only extended family on his side and they have all died. The bride is my cousin so the bridal group will be the ones who are the relatives.