for instance, you're in your 40's clock is ticking and you want to have a family. you meet this guy and he has a good personality but that spark is missing. you don't feel too much chemistry. you're just kind of going wit the motions. in your head you have a list of exactly what you want that drives you wild but you fear as a 40 year old woman you might never find it and so you settle for a lukewarm romance

It's not actually conceived as a romance, but a historical, psychological and coming of age story. It's about a guy who was left by everyone (dead parents, sister betraying him for her husband) and the story starts when he runs away from prison (wherehe was hit, denailed, tortured and insulted). At first his only thought is surviving and hiding, trying to avoid everyone. He feels alive again but he is traumatized and cannot understand properly what he's feeling, is that deception, anger, anguish disguided in normality? In another country he meets a girl, which happens to be mistreated and discriminated. She falls for him at first sight because of his looks and his sad eyes. He protects her when he sees an injustice. He tries to avoid her because he doesn't want to get involved with anyone, he just wants to embark for the next ship for the continent but he needs money, so he has to work. He understands only when it's too late that he loves her, and that she is madly in love with him, when she was almost abused and tried suicide and blamed him for not being there for her, and the moment he realizes it he doesn't want to let her go and feels sorry about himself refusing love and happiness for too long as a way of punishment. There are some love scenes but just mentioned and nothing too detailed and they aren't like sex scenes because there are just kisses and they both cry so it doesn't even feel like some young adult novel.