I was doing repairs into an apartment in a building. A girl asked me to build something in the balcony of her house to prevent people falling. I did add a sort of guard rail to her balcony cause it looked a bit too low. She thanked me and we instantly connected, to the point that we are now engaged. I come from some years spent in jail, cause I avenged my mom. This girl didn't care about it and about me being the weird, isolated one. She cried whe I told her why I did it and held my hand. Yet being with her causes me a phyical pain in my chest, like, universal pain concentrated in me when I look at her. I love her so much but it feels like love makes me feel this way, I cannot live love like people my age. I just feel like hugging her and holding her tight, nothing more. Love it's too much pain for me. It feels like I'll never be able to overcome it. She is the angel that keeps me alive