I get that I look much younger than I should and I don't party to get drunk around people I don't know (even though I do sometimes) or like going out much. I keep to myself and am rather shy and quiet. Yet if something less than orthodox comes out of me than people act surprised. Like if I say "****" people will tell me they've never heard me cuss or look at me all surprised. I find it incredibly patronizing. I especially hate it when people use cute names for me like "baby" or "love," but I keep quiet because this sometimes happens at work. I meant to say "even though I do like to get drunk sometimes, just not around people I don't know."

Ok so I have a dad and he doesn't provide and has never provided ever since we were little. He would always come home to beat me up and there hasn't been a time When he hasn't ever come home to beat me up and whenever he would say something it's like he is always trying to bring down your self esteem and would try to bring down your self esteem and it's like I'm always trying to please him and I want to stop trying to please him. What do you think of this situation and what should I do and how can I stop trying to please him? 

My boyfriend underwent surgery. He can't stand or walk for a couple weeks. I know it was traumatic for him. He lives an hour away from me with his parents. He can't work or do anything. I kind of want to spend a couple nights with him and help but I don't know if his mom would be okay with that or if I can fit it in with work. He's 20 I'm 21. 

TW: vague details of abuse.  I was in a mentally/emotionally/physically abusive relationship for about 3 1/2 years. During that time, he had put his hands on me more times than I could possibly count and back in '14 he actually tried to kill me. I filed a police report and subsequently, photos were taken by the police of my marks he left on me, charges were filed, and he was given jail time and probation.  Ever since everything that happened in that relationship, I've feared for my safety. The fact he was able to overpower me made me realize how vulnerable I am. I used to think I could hold my own if necessary but that all made me realize how wrong I was. I'm "working class" AKA poor and am currently not working (but am looking for work) so I quite literally can't afford even the cheapest pepper spray. I havent even a dollar to my name. Given my circumstances, I'm DESPERATELY hoping and wondering if there's anywhere I could acquire pepper spray and/or self defense lessons free of cost. I realize free self defense training is likely not an option but I'm really hoping there's a way for me to obtain free pepper spray. If you know anything about this and could provide me with knowledge and resources, PLEASE let me know. Words simply cannot express how grateful I would be for it.  Thank you! Also, all of the instances of abuse occurred in Michigan and I now live in Arizona. I don't know if that makes a difference but I figured I'd include this fact incase it's relevant.