My wife's best friend from college just went through a divorce from a guy she has been with since college. She moved in with us temporarily. The three of us shared some wine and spent some time in the hot tub when we they started joking about how bad her ex-husband was with sex and how he never wanted to do anything but missionary. So without sharing all the details, I ended up having sex with her that night with my wife's encouragement. It was actually really great sex and I performed things that I consider basic like oral, that she had never experienced before. Anyway, it feels kind of awkward now. We can't pass each other in the house without giggling. Maybe we will get used to it? I hope she finds a great guy because she would be a great catch, but a part of me almost wishes she would stay with us, but I know that our families would freak out. Can it work, or should we just go back to being good friends?

Did you (men) ever leave your job for another less-exciting job so that you can spend more time with your wife and kids? I work long hours in my current job and it drives me crazy often. I'm getting married this year, and I have been thinking to find another job with more predictable work hours though it may be less exciting than my current one and have limited growth opportunity so that I can spend more time with my wife and future kids. Please share your experience if you have any. Thanks

Just curious what most people would want in this case.

My husband of 19 years,has "not been in the mood," for almost a year. When I had came back from another state,he kept saying that we were friends,with benefits. I corrected him,and said we were just friend. Period. Then he would smile, and say " With benefits." He always tries to anger me, and is also passive-aggressive. He is so good at it,that people think our marriage is normal. On the outside, everything looks ok.Recently, our daughter, whom went to go live with my oldest daughter,told him that she wanted closure and that she went to live with her, because he was an ineffective father. Meaning,he was not hand's -on. My husband spoils me with material stuff,is nice in public,and everyone thinks really highly of him.That is the problem:people do not know the real him. I do. My oldest son,thinks he is a douche. And tells me so.I have left my husband many times in the past two years, but i keep coming back,because being an autistic adult,with social anxiety,I cannot work. I do not qualify for SSI,and so i am stuck. If I go live in another state,I can get my medications,and my teeth pulled, with dentures. I really do need that to happen, as I just came off of a week's long pain -bender, with my two back teeth. I have no insurance, and if I were to go to where my son lives, I can get help. But I would be homeless, and at least with him,i have a place to live. Help. And even if he is "not in the mood," as been his excuse for over a year, shouldn't a husband wish to please his wife in some sexual way, if she asks for that ? And since he says emphatically " No!" when I ask him to, is that a sign of sexual neglect and emotional abuse ? That was my question. As t my having Asperger's, I have worked in the past, but unable to keep the job because of social anxiety.Working from home may be an option. Also,I need to mention,that I feel he blames me for my oldest daughter for taking our kids away in court. While in court,he said nothing,but let me answer all of the questions, then when it was all over,he got mad at me,because of what went down. We were told not to get an attorney,because we were't charged with anything criminal,so we didn't. He had gone to jail for domestic abuse 13 years ago. He can't get a gun & for that he blames me. In short: he blames me for not being able to get a gun,my oldest daughter taking our kids away in court ( her motivation was $,and hatred of my husband). He blames me for no lawyer not wanting to take the case,so we can get visitation established.He blames me for past arguments,& opinions I have stated.He will not hit me, or say anything: his abuse, if it is,is mental,and emotional.So I have no proof.

My husband and i have serious problems right now. Hes been getting very angry with our 6 yr old and really hurting our feelings period. I asked if he wanted a divorce in a text and his response was " go get ur f*ing divorce i dont want anything to do with either of u" will this do anything in court as far as custody goes? Im too the point where its best honestly if my husband has no contact with us ever. Ik this is bad for our child but its goes more than you know just not physical abuse and yes some of it may be the hurt i have bc of all of this but some of it is truthful so will that text do anything?

Recently I believed my wife to be having an affair. This affected me profoundly and shell-shocked but too proud to confront her I resolved to cheat on her. Over the following six months I embarked on a relationship with someone who works at my office and on a few occasions had sex with one of her friends. It was stupid, petty and just a way for me to get revenge because I was hurt so bad. However Ive recently found out that I was extremely misinformed about my wifes activities and the chances of her having cheated on me are extremely slim. I now feel more ashamed of myself than I have ever felt in my life. I want to tell her- to try and 'press the reset button' and try and have a fresh start. However it will hurt her and there is a chance she may leave me. The chances of me cheating on her again are remote. Would it be more noble of me to carry the burden of shame and not tell her?-we are happy together and I dont want to see her upset.

We were married for 20 year s dated 4 years before getting married.. (We have 3 children who r grown now) I divorced him cause i was unhappy do to him cheating.. he was the love of my life.. why do I still get the fast beating heart n nervous. .. we both have moved on... Am I still in love with him? He cant even look at me ...

He wants me to be involved but, I have no desire to.

So my parents never liked my boyfriend. Because they say in the 8 months we been together he's never offered to buy me anything at the mall and because he leaves me at his house to go smoke weed with his friends alot. They think Im too good for him and that he doesn't love me. They also say he's dirty and all he cares about are his friends, partying, and drugs. Which is true, he's sold me out a bunch of times to hang out with his boys. They've seen me come back home upset. But I don't tell them because I don't want them to hate him more and try to keep me from him. Sometimes I think my parents just don't want to see me happy and want to control my life. So going out with him is kind of me rebelling since my parents are strict and uptight. My boyfriend's house is always full of people and partying, so I kind of resent my parents for being so mean. But deep down, I know my boyfriend does drink and smoke way too much (not just weekends). And likes to sell me out while I stay home and be a good girl like he wants me to. Then he got me pregnant, he said we weren't ready for a baby, so, he promised to take me to the abortion and pay half. The day comes and he sells me out for his friends. I thought he'll sell me out for petty things only but this was important and broke my heart. He also didn't bother to pay half. His excuse was, I hate your family, they never treated me right". Did my parents scare him away so bad that now he doesn't want to pay because of it?

I had an affair and admitted the truth. Ive cut all contact with him period to work on my marriage. Now it's been over a year and I still find myself finding triggers that make me think of him unintentionally. We had history as old friends and a real deep connection that was never supposed to develop. Now I don't think of him on purpose or want anything to do with him but ill hear a certain song we listened to or see an old friend that we hung out with or things like that and I can't help but remember it. I feel guilty when it happens and I wish I could stop it from happening. I don't want to talk about it with my husband cuz it would hurt him and I try not to think of that person. I'm wondering if that's normal to have those triggers or if in time it will go away too?

I cheated on my wife and she said a long time ago if I ever cheated regardless the circumstances she'd be done, did you hide it from them or tell them? I slept with a girl at a party because my wife and I haven't slept together in two months for no reason, thanks

I can't decide. Probably my boyfriend, Mark.

My husband is in the military , he might be deployed in Japan for a year & I want to get started on my career and start college but I don't want to do it in Japan. So we've discussed about whether or not Our son and I will be going with him. Yesterday he asked me if I don't go then I have to find another woman for him because of his needs & that he will find me a man for mine. What do I tell him ? What do I say to that ? I am not okay with it. It is disgusting I can not imagine either one of us being okay with another person. I need other people's words of wisdom please comment I would love to hear back.

My wife has this thing to where if you do something for her then that's just what you're suppose to do. However, if she does something for you then you're suppose to pay her back. Last week my wife's car broke down. She called me sitting on the side of the road. I told her the only money I had was the money I had taken from my paycheck to help pay the rent. Long story short, I took half the rent money and got the part the autoparts store said she needed. Not one time did she say she'd pay me back. Well, something else went wrong with her car and it needed another part later in the week. Low and behold the alternator went out of my truck the next week. Since it wasn't my pay week, but hers, I asked her if she'd buy the alternator for my truck. The first thing out of her mouth was, "you are going to have to pay me back for that part." The two parts pretty much cancelled each other out cause the sensor for her car was a little more than $90 and the alternator was about $131 but they gave her $27 back for the core. She's now sending me a text messages asking if I'm going to give her her money this Friday when I get paid. This is why we're so divided as a couple. I didn't ask for the money back I took out of my pocket for her car but she's insistent that I give her the money back for the alternator. I told her that those are OUR cars that WE are responsible for getting fixed. While her car was down her mom rented her a car for the week. Is she going to pay her mom back? Probably not. While mine was down my mom gave me her car without expecting anything in return. I filled up the tank before I gave it back and my mom was very appreciative. Granted, the amt of labor I've saved my wife over the years is ridiculous. I'm not a mechanic but I can fixe a number of things on cars, plus I do oil changes religiously every 3 months. The only thing I ask my wife is that she buy the oil, filter, or whatever parts are needed to fix her car. She feels like since that's car stuff that's the man's job to pay for all that. I told her I don't mind doing the work but is it going to kill you to buy the parts?

So recently got married & bought a house in the town we work in. Following up to this my husband has been at the same job for about 5 years. Over the past year he s grown to dislike the job more and more. After his favorite co-worker/friend left a few months ago he down right hates it. He s constantly complaining about it. Like the boss could look at him the wrong way and he d come home and complain about it for hours. He stats he s treated like **** and has to do double the work and nobody listens to him. However, his work doesn t want him to leave EVER. He s tried twice now and they beg him to stay saying they ll change and give him a raise. They depend on him WAY to much. At the same time there s multiple job openings around that he could work but he s incredibly picky. Whether it s the drive or what he has to work on. It gets irritating to me because he cannot choose himself and when I suggest a job or going back to school he shoots it down. What can I do?! I want my husband back not someone who can t decide on anything, is super whiney, never wants to do stuff, always unhappy, and just makes himself mad all the time.

Last year my husband's daughter went to college and he had the idea to set her up a bank account so that we could put money in it for her. I set up the account and linked my name to it so I could get a card and his daughter can get a card. If she needs money my husband goes to the ATM and just deposits money into her acct. Well, her mother was suppose to give her some money to help buy her books and my husband wanted to just meet her at the bank ATM so he could just deposit the money. Her mom wanted to do it this way. She wanted their daughter to give her her acct number so she could go in the bank and physically deposit the money. My husband said that depending on when she made the deposit the money may not show up until the next day. She was going to deposit it yesterday but the banks were closed for MLK day and now my husband is texting me for the log-in and password so he can see if she deposited the money. Giving him the log-in would also give him access to my acct sine her acct is linked with mine. Should I give him access to check her acct?

We are in our early 40s and have 3 teenagers. In the last few years my husband has made several friends at work who either have grown children or no children. He is often invited to go golfing, or hunting or to sporting events, even on weekend getaways to fish or golf. I'm happy for him as I believe in spouses having their own time for friends/hobbies. The problem is, my friends are all very busy is kids and work. Getting one of them to go to dinner with me is hard, a weekend away is impossible. I'm happy for my husband, but I'm starting to resent that he has fun things to do and I don't seem to have the same opportunities. I'm not really looking for ideas on how to meet people, or find things to do (I have tried and am still trying new things). Just wondering if anyone else has had this same problem. We do lots of things together, but at this point in our lives we have more time to do things independently of each other (something we looked forward to) and now he has things to do and my friends are still jammed up with kids, or work, or husbands who keep them under their thumbs. People are telling me to learn to like what he likes, but the point is for us to have our own interests. I have gone fishing with him before, and I have gone to ride in the golf cart when he doesn't have anyone to play with. We do plenty together, and we socialize with other couples quite a bit, but our kids are older now and having time to do our own things is not a bad thing. He just seems to have opportunities falling in his lap left and right, and I don't.

As the babies mother and agree to this can i hand the baby over to its dad and his wife legally my husband is happy to stay with me but does not want to bring up another mans child, i completely get that, i felt stuck as i dont agree with abortions (we did use protection, it went wrong), the babys dad is happy to bring the child up and the family are lovely and i know that baby would be happy with them and at end of day baby is not at fault here

I would like to get an advice from an understanding person and please avoid this topic if you want to post nothing but judgments and assumptions. We have been married for 7 years and I am pregnant now. We are constatntly struggling with money though my husband owns a contracting company that works for the government. He never tells me his true salary and I know that it is a red flag. However, he provides some money for living. Now since I am pregnant we need to get a lot of stuff for the baby and he is not willing to give more. Another red flag. I recently learnt that he made his mom several years ago the owner and the president of the company and he pays her a really good salary, she is 70 and of course she is not working. I assume it was made in case of a divorce..? Or it was simply his mom's advice who ripped off his dad while they were divorcing. I wouldn't mind him paying her (she is a very wealthy woman with a 4.5 million house) if he could provide for the baby. Otherwise I find it so unfair! His mom just keeps making plastic surgeries and she has a drinking problem and the money he gives her just encourage her. Anyway, what are your thoughts? Yes, I told him that I am not happy that he is not willing to get anything for his baby and that right now he should be more attentive, it is his 1st child for gods sake. He says he cant change the system and all the bs and continues paying his mom. He even doesn't realize that he is killing her with this money. She is literally drunk every day... PS: Some comments state that I do not know about a woman owned business and all the stuff. As a matter of fact he could put her as a president and it would be a woman owned business and she could get a minimum wage if everything is a game and created just for winning a contract. PS2: The problem is that his salary is super low and his mom gets all the cut. It is his money that is transferred to his mom, she can use them of course. Actually a smart person will understand that it is a well organized system of pretending to be an average employee

My husband has totally strayed going from woman to woman. I've sent him divorce papers twice-he refuses to sign. The main issue is, he came into some money that was awarded to him as an Army veteran. The thing is, he does not communicate with out teenage childre, does not call,or visit them. He texts me from time to time asking how me and the kids are doing. He's on child support, but refuses to pay. One of his other women pretty much informed me that he got a pretty decent settlement and he has spent it on her as well as her daughter who is not his. I've been married to him for more than 18 years,put upwith all his ****, and helped him more than any other woman.. He almost seems bitter that I have been making it fine without him. But,what I can not understand for the life of me is why he would blow money on random women and kids that are not his when he does ZERO for his own. I can get past us, but this really bothers me.. How do I get past a husband giving to another woman and her kids that are not his-when he neglects his own?

Sadly, the liberals have changed the marriage vows to go along with the liberal culture, where the man and the woman are like 'two kings in Rome." Which were you pronounced (and fat chance you were pronounced "man and wife" in recent times)? No wonder there is so much heartbreak and divorce.

I want to surprise my wife by giving her Jewelry.

My husband and I have been having some problems. I found out he had an ashly Madison account (he claims he never actually did anything). We've gone to counseling. He got tested for low testosterone and now had a testosterone implant. I've noticed he's increasingly "rage full" last night after I got frustrated and "barked" at him to make the kids be quiet so I could get the baby to sleep he flipped out and went on a drive. He came home hours later and I was still awake...I hid in the closet and scarred him just to be funny and I was annoyed. he got so angry with me that he violently threw my carefully organized countertop toiletries across the bathroom and they smashed everywhere. He then went and stayed at a hotel. I feel like this was an extreme overreaction. Should I be worried here? I'm trying to keep it together for the kids but what has to happen for me to end it. I would never want my own daughters to be treated the way I'm being treated but this is reality and the kids need their dad and he is a good father.

Or if not, what will be your reaction?

This throw me for a loop. My sister in law consulted a lawyer for a divorce, when she found out she would not get enough money to live on, she decided she loves him. what the heck does that mean? They live in two different houses. He said he would not live the same house with her, if her son was there. ( her son was on bathe salts and tried to kill him.) So I think the brother in law is indifferent to the situation.

But the last time (a couple of days ago) was the first time a goodllooking guy came over. Well my husband always would say that he wanted me to want it, and he wanted me to enjoy it so I did want it and I really enjoyed it. The guy really knew his what he was doing or maybe I was just turned on bc I thought my husband was turned on and the guy was actually someone I wanted to sleep with. After we finished I tried to go finish my husband that's when I realized he didn't like it. He would not get hard and he's been acting weird ever since. He won't really talk about it and I don't know what to do. My question is was I not suppose to like it? And what do u think I should do. Please no hate comments about me being a who*e that doesn't help me at all.

I have kids with him. I don't want to do it now but when kids get bit older but **** older kids get the harder right

since then everything has been perfect except one thing, I'm full of insecurity I know he's not doing nothing bad but I find it hard to trust him, since then I become so controlling and jelouse, I hate it o hate the fact I can't forget and I just need advice on how to grow and move on things are perfect hes perfect he grew and change with the experience and I want to be happy and be able to trust him cause I know I love him and leaving him is not a n answer

We were together for 6 years when he randomly left me. He text me asking for a divorce while he was at work. After months him building another relationship it Finally ended, he called and left her with me setting there. I was so happy! We could get back to working on us without her in the way. Long story short: when we first broke up he kicked me out of our home, I was homeless sleeping on my sister s porch because she already had 5 people in a 2 bedroom house so I finally convinced him to let me come back after a week of being homeless. He then proceeded to have sex with this woman the entire time he was having sex with me. I thought we were working on our marriage until I found out about her. Over a year after the affair I found a text on his phone. It was from a different woman who I knew had asked for his number while we were broken up. I was mad but I was so scared of him leaving I kinda let it go. Anyway. It s now been going ok. He isn t acting shady he s acting like he wants to be with me but lately I ve just been so full of doubt.. I have flashbacks of how cruel he was to me Not a day goes by that I don t think about it I don t want to have sex I don t want to kiss him It s like all of a sudden I ve realized we aren t going back to what we were.I don t believe his "I love you" or "forever." I miss loving him, I miss who he was, it s just not the same as it was a few months ago. I don t know what happened that changed my feelings. Will I ever get past this?

He has an 11 year old daughter and two sons aged 8 and 14. He gives them and their mom too much money. He gets so angry whenever I question it and says as a black man he's not going to let anybody ever say he doesn't pay for his kids. Who is going to say that? Nobody knows if he pays for his kids or not! He sees them every week he doesn't need to buy them so much. Why does he care so much about what these nonexistent people are going to say? It's half my money. I have one of his kids.