My husband and I got married in July of last year. The wedding itself was a mess from the start . We didn t get to have a rehearsal (the preacher refused to do one). Over half of our friends and family didn t get to make it due to us not being able to find a midway point between where my family lives and where his does. The preacher went COMPLETELY against what we asked for when we met with him a few weeks before the wedding. The pictures took way longer to take than we had anticipated. And my husband and I had to rush to the emergency room in the middle of dinner because I was allergic to the vodka we used for the cocktail. We didn t even get to cut our wedding cake or do anything else we had planned. Is it too early for a renewal?

So I did it with my girlfriend, she was virgin and I was not. I have always loved her and respected her but right after I felt bad. So bad I hated myself. I kept playing in my mind the moment I took off her panties, shs let me though she was scared. In the moment I did that thing cause it was normal when you make love to take off you partner's clothes, but right after I started thinking that she is my angel, my only love, the one person who made me feel alive in this world (I never felt love for anyone else since I was adopted and I always felt at the wrong place with my adoptive family, they were always unfair to me cause I wasnt their true son/brother). I started feeling guilty for it. I buried my face in her chest and wanted to hide my face and stop my feelings, I didnt want her to see what I was feeling. She kept touching my hair and head. She looked so maternal and caring and told me that she loved me. It was like she hit me really hard. I felt bad cause I took her virginity and I liked it. I feel so strange and felt so many emotions at the same time that day (happiness, guilt, love, affection, fear to lose her, sadness). It's like she is the one that I care about in the world but I treated her like every guy treats girls (taking them to bed). I feel so bad.