I want to meet people but not be in your face nice like stalkish.

She was about to have her first time with me, as we were doing foreplay she was really passive (didn't do much) and I was really excited and started kissing her everywhere I couldn't stop, at some point I put my hands on her hands above her head and started kissing and biting (not really, it was like a fake bite) her breasts. At that point she started sobbing and crying, I stopped and I felt like s***. She cried for minutes and I just held her tight and kissed her. She later told me what I did made her remember what her cousin did to her when she was just a child at 12 years old. He basically did the same thing I did after blocking her on the sofa while she was alone with him with no one else at home. She cried and tried to fight him but the bastard was stronger and older and threathened to bite off her nipples. Because of this psycopath my girlfriend after years cannot have a normal sexual relationship without crying and feeling sick. I don't know what to do. She doesn't wnjoy anything sex related (just cuddles and hugs). Everything I do reminds her of the assault and she cries. I basically hugged her and cuddled her til she fell asleep. What did he do to my love? I wish I could kill him for what he did to her. At some point I felt like a rapist because she said he did the same thing I did to her. I thought I was just excited ans happy to be with her, maybe I exaggerated with her and should have been gentler. What should I do with her? Will she ever heal? How can I do such things when she is so scared? Did you read what I wrote?! She cries if I try to do those things to her, because they are the same that bastard did