I honestly think it's kind of overrated, people can be perfectly happy cohabitating and having children.

Instead of "usual fantasies" during sex, I picture that I am a mistress to my husband. I picture that my husbands real wife (which is me) is out of the room & we are sneaking around having sex behind her back. We have sex when she (me) leaves to the grocery store.. To check the mail or when she s asleep. In which we have to be super quiet. Basically we role play that he s cheating me. But I am still me in the role play. I don t go by any other name except my own. The "wife" is someone different. My husband doesnt feel any way towards it. He just goes along with the flow. Is this normal?

 I didn't even know he was filing 4 a divorce until after it was all over.He had my papers served 2 a residence I no longer lived at on purpose there4 I didn't show up 4 the court date, I didn't know 1 existed. That's y he has custody. I don't want 2 take them from him I just want them the same amount that he does hes a great dad that's y it makes this hard 4 me, I don't have the cold heart he does & I don't want 2 b dirty like he was, so can some1 tell me how to go about this in SC?

No kids, no assets. Nada. How do I handle this? Would I have to go find her to sign papers or?

my husband said to me today that he feels I'd be better off without him. that he feel I'd be better with his insurance money. he said he feels like he holds me back from things. I love him and want him in my life I asked him if I was doing anything to make him feel this way he said no. is he depressed why would he say this to me?

I am a green card holder in Florida and I am trying to obtain a letter providing proof that I am not receiving any benefits or financial assistance from the state. Is there such a letter and if so how can I apply for one?

My current girlfriends ex husband/father of her kids brings her lunch and dinner when he comes by her house to see his kids. He always sees his kids at her place when I m at work. He will also buy groceries for which she will take out of his child support check but when I buy her kids someone she never reimburses me and they aren t even my kids. He also texts her links to funny things online and she responds with smiley faces and thank you!!!!!!! Is this inappropriate boundaries for an ex husband?

I've lost my identity for reasons I really don't want to go into (mainly love). But now I have to figure out how I can get my identity back. I don't know how to do this though. All the old things I loved are out of reach, the things I like now revolve around my marriage or my family, and the things I might like doing alone take way too long to do. But I can't give up. I realize one big reason why I have tolerated my wife's verbal/emotional manipulation is because it gave me something to do (arguing was a pass time - one that I passed on to my son sadly). And now I want to end the arguments, but I know this would require for me to find something else to do. I just don't know what that could be... Anyone else have an identity crisis after mentally catching up with all of your milestones and achievements? What helps re-creating your self and becoming your own person again (a.k.a. being your own authority)?

I was so scared of becoming one of those married couples that isn't close at all, with no spark left and not even kissing each other good bye... And now I feel like I'm getting pretty close to that point. Me personally I always want to spend time with him, I don't need alone time. People say all the time it's not healthy to be around each other so much, but what doesn't sound healthy to me is not keeping up the connection with your lover. I feel like relationships need to constantly be worked on, love needs to keep being refreshed with quality time and affection or else it will wilt. I try to explain this to him but he doesn't understand. I think of him all day until he gets home, anxious for alone time with him, but a lot of the time he wants to play video games or something. We do not spend nearly as much time together as I want us too, and I feel the spark is almost gone. We used to be so close, he always wanted to hold my hand or something. Some times it's like we are just room mates. My worst fear of entering a bland boring marriage that is filled with loneliness is coming true. I've even considered cheating just to get affection which I have never done in my life. I don't know what to do 😭😩😩

Hi! I just got divorced from a man that has a US citizen. Since I didn't even receive my conditional (2 year green card) green card, I am looking for ways to get myself a green card and I think my employer will help me out on this. My concern is since my green card by my marriage is still in pending process, will this be an issue to get a new green card from my employer?? will they suspect anything because of my divorce? My divorce is still in process and so far I was married for 6months. Please help!!

I go at 5pm because that's the time they open. I usually bring a tote bag and put my helmet, crop,water bottle, advil,pads,my phone, sweater (If I know it might get cold that day) and that's about it. What do you guys take? And is it weird that I bring a tote bag no one at my barn takes a bag..

I'v been married for a year now and my husband seems to only want a hand job and then he's done he has no interest in making me feel good or pleasuring me at ALL we have sex maybe once a month and he cums SO fast I ask him why he cums so fast he say cause he likes it and it makes him come but yet he k my wants hand jobs wtf we only been married for a year I want pleasure too so what do you think is the problem should I leave him ?!

I need to know what the rules are for performing a bubble sort, if you could help me that would be fantastic

People make me feel I did wrong because I married somebody in which the age difference between me and him is 30 year and his daughter is older than I am. Is it wrong?

Is it ok for your wife to say "you don't own me" when you object to something she is wearing to work?

I have a 6 year old son. His dad and I spilt up when he was 1. Ex started dating a woman when son was 2. I was furious when I found out. Ex was keeping it a secret and son was the one who said her name. When that happened, I made a few really poor choices that I ve since apologized for (I got physically aggressive at ex and then tried to run away with our son). Ex took me to court when son was 2 and got custody and parenting time. Ex later married the woman. So today stepmom is essentially raising my son. I ve gone to court and got joint custody some parenting time, but it s no where near the amount of time she spends with him. I get every other weekend and extended time in the summer. Even though what I did wrong happened years ago, my ex hates me so much that he doesn t care how much this hurts me when I tell him. Stepmom does things like: - Takes him to doctor appointments. (Ex signed something so she could) - Gets his hair cut. - Keeps mom stuff (pictures, ornaments) from school (she said son gives it to her/wants it at their house) - Goes to parent teacher conferences. - Gives him baths. - Takes him to school every day. - Plans his birthday party and doesn t invite me. I could understand if I was an absent Mom - but I m not. I ve never missed a visit. I m not ready to fight for more time yet-lawyer said I need to get a bedroom for him first. So what do I do to deal with this until I can get more time in court? And I can't talk to her directly, so please don't suggest that. B/c I got angry at her at a drop off a couple months ago (she cut his nails dangerously short - I'm surprised he didn't get an ingrown nail!), I'm blocked from her phone and they won't let me in the house. I invite them all the time. Ex refuses bc he said I cause problems. For example, I asked son once - he was 3 at the time - if he wanted to come home with me after one of our family outings (me, son, ex, stepmom). Son said yes. Ex wouldn't let him because it wasn't what the court order said. Son cried bc he wanted to stay the night with me. I got angry, said a few words & stormed off. Even though that happened YEARS ago & it wasn't a big deal, ex says that's why he won't do things with me today. Dad lives a block from his school. They bought a house there. I don't live far away - about a 10 minute drive, but it's a different city. I can't afford to live where they do. I rent a one bedroom now, my credit is so bad (evictions, debt, repos) that I can't get anywhere else. I was lucky to get this- someone I knew who took a chance on me. When son's w/ me, we share a room. I have a good job now, but it's going to take some time before my credit is good enough to get a bigger place. I'd like to do Mom-Son things, but he doesn't want to. I'll say, 'let's go see Santa or go to the park.' He tells me no. He wants them to take him. Ex & stepmom stole these years (2 to 6 so far) & it's changed the course of my relationship w son. Yes, I messed up. But if ex would've accepted my apology & not gone to court until I was back on my feet (got a job, place to live), this wouldn't have happened. Ex knew I was in a vulnerable place & took advantage of me snapping on him years ago. I don't have money to host my own stuff. With the child support I pay, I can't afford anything. I do appreciate your responses. I just don't think you understand what it's like to watch another woman raise your son & get shut of his life. Regardless of my past, I do love my son. I have to beg to see someone I gave birth to & she can just do whatever she'd like. They take him to Disney, swim lessons, have big parties for him. And I'm struggling to even buy Christmas presents. It just sucks.

I am used to call people Mr. and Ms. but my friend said it's weird to call my husband Mr., is it really? I do it as a matter of respect though.

My husband decided to leave me out of the blue one day, told me over a text he was leaving, and blocked me on everything. He did this because his parents wanted him to do it. He took our 3 month old baby and is keeping her. I was not asked about any of this, kept completely out of the loop and they have threatened to call the police if I come on their property. Can I legally be hit for child support even though I had no say in anything? I don't even have a car since he took it, and no money now either

She is having second thoughts about our future together. She earns around 10k per month now in real estate. I am still working in retail management for just 45k per year which is very low for the age of 32. Sge wants to have kids. She invested in an apartment off the plan but feels dissatisfied with it. My value to her is extremely low. She reminded me toniggt by saying that in China, the people who work in supermarkets are very low class... I am actively looking for nursing work at the AIN level which will pay marginally better. I am studying for my Registeted Nurse degree but I have three more years left. She originally agreed to support me to go through study and then half way through the year put pressure on me to quit study to look for AIN work. Said she didn't need a student in her life. All this chopping and changing is no good. I am struggling with what sort of work I could do to have a better life and support a family before I graduate. I have a science degree but never used it. I was considering strata management but the hours of prac in nursing and the AIN jobs make more sense for thd studies. I feel a growing sense of dread that she will leave me one day if my pay doesn't go up in time. I want us to have a better life too. We can't even afford to travel because all her earnings are for property and she believes the man should be the breadwinner. I feel lost and beaten down :( Most of this year I struggled on and off. I'm not happy. And more because she keeps making everything about money :( What work should I do? She said to me she can't see a future with me. I take that to mean she wants me to go if I can't improve. I am so insulted by those words. It's like she doesn't love me and wants me gone. IF she had rephrased that to "dear I'm fed up with your low pay. Hurry up and get a nursing job so we can do xyz...." then I wouldn't have been offended. Rather than, "I'm so good, you can't match me, you drag me down, I am unsure of the future with you because you are so low"... Sad thing is that my parents could see it a mile away when we arrived at the airport and she came out ahead of me in a high and mighty fashion. They told me today that they could see I was gonna cop it. But I was newly married and bringing my wife to my country. My spirits were high and they clouded a lot.

My wife has developed a sharp tongue over the 14 years we've been together. I think if I wasn't a sensitive and caring person then it would have never developed, but because I was trying to care (to much) about her feelings and what she thought of me, she used it to her advantage and she has been using it for 5 years to control my behavior when I act "out of line" or "inappropriately". It wasn't until last Wednesday that I realized that her "love" was only a carrot on a rope in front of my face that I could never get; so this helped me see her for who she really is - a manipulative, selfish, conditional woman (just like my Mom). So, now that I've realize I'm in an unrequited relationship, I'm trying to see if I can disarm the dysfunction by taking away everything that she does to control/manipulate me... Today, on the way in to work, she called me a f-word a-word, knowing that in the past when she said this it would change my behavior and make me reconsider how I was treating her so she could get her way (which often meant she didn't have to compromise and would just "win" the argument). But when she did that today I said "So what? Your words can't change me any more. Now what?" and she just got angrier and used other passive aggressive tactics to try to "teach me a lesson" or "receive justice". And as she applied more and more pressure, I had a VERY hard time maintaining composure. On the outside I wasn't caring, but on the inside, I was falling apart... What helps?

Arguments are going to happen, it's inevitable. Me and my partner have argued a few times since having our daughter who's now 8 weeks, mainly over money problems. However these arguments sometimes get out of hand, we can't listen to each other because we don't understand each other's view and we just end up shouting and getting hot headed and I don't want this for my baby. I want to work it out, not go our separate ways, I want for us to learn how to handle the situation calmly. Does anyone have any tips or advice?

On the way home from work yesterday, my wife and I talked about the shooter in California and mental illness. We couldn't agree on how mental illness is formed nor the proper way to treat it. I tried to agree to disagree but she refused to allow me my own opinion. We eventually had to stop talking to each other. After an hour of being home, I was on the computer researching the shooting more and I hear my wife brewing a hot cocoa in the Keurig. I say "would you mind making me one, that sounds like a great idea" and she agreed to it. Mind you, I have no way of knowing what kind of mood she's in now because she likes to bottle her feelings and control her outward demeanor, so this is a gamble for me... I go in the kitchen 10 minutes later and see a cup in the Keurig machine with hot cocoa in it. Thinking nothing of it, I grab it and say "thank you" and start drinking it... Apparently it wasn't mine. She brewed a premium one that I bought and she was going to brew me a crappy one so she could hoard the premium ones for herself through winter but forgot to brew it and left her cup in the machine. I apologized then brewed another for her, but it was too late. I grabbed HER cup and she was ready to raise hell (and she tried to until she locked herself in my bedroom when I wouldn't fight with her). I'm trying to learn how to put an end to this drama, but I'm not good at it yet. What should I have done? I feel like my only option is to stop lovingly interdepending on her...

I've been married 8 yrs. We have a child together. Lately my husband was texting away to one of his female coworkers and hanging out with her behind my back saying he was going to work. According to him they are just friends. Once I followed him and saw he didn't go to work I went crazy that night and we had a big fight. I had no way of contacting her but found her husband on Facebook and wrote him about what was going on. It backfired and now my husband knows I wrote the note and is so mad at me for not trusting him that he basically wants me and our child to leave and live on his own. Now the whores husband and friends and laughing and saying that they should beat up my husband to teach ME a lesson. Me? Am I the one who needs a lesson? Or is it them for their stupid behavior? What should I do? Walk out on this marriage or seek counseling? My husband never stands up for me, always seems to defend everyone else but me. Now he wont even give me a hug since he is so mad over this. Should I move back to my country with our child and never speak to him again? I just feel that I still love him but he doesn't love me for trying to protect our family. I'm lost.

He didn't even register our marriage, we only did a ceremony. He said if I wanted to register our marriage, I will have to sign a pre-nuptial that seems only to benefit him in case we divorce and since I don't want it to go to that because I love him so much, I agreed to just marry him in a non traditional sense. By law, we are not even married. Even then, his paranoia is never ending, he bought a house co signed by his dad before the wedding so that it remains only his and he pays everything with his own money, his insurance, his taxes, his debt. He refused to pay anything for me, when I never even asked for it. He refused to sign for my car and I had to ask my sister to co sign for it. He is so stringent that he sees me as some gold digger who is only after his money when I was the one with him when he was poor. He and I have been together for 10 years and it still seems like he doesn't trust anyone . Even during date nights which I have to force him to come, he would make sure the check is separate. He refuses to have a joint account, despite my saying that it's for emergency only and he doesn't lend me a cent without having me sign a document in front his lawyer to pay it back on time. We both have agreed that we do not want kids and he has made sure that if I do get pregnant, I had to sign a document agreeing to his termination of parental rights and not having to pay child support. How do I change his behaviour because I don't want to leave him. Please don't tell me to leave him or say I would be happier without him. I want to fix our relationship, not end it. We didn't sign any papers, our ceremony was held in Mauritius by a Hindu priest on the beach.

Living with my in laws is great and a blessing because I only have to do a little bit of chores , pay one bill and have more time for hobbies . But living with them Is not giving me what I need to grow up and I get spoiled a lot. I want to grow up .. I want to pay 6 bills( rent , electricity, cable , food , transportation and this other one ) , live independently with hubby . Living reality will teach me a lot of stuff I need to know to live reality like budgeting, staying clean and more . Hubby wants to live with his parents forever. I'm not kidding . I'm 25 years old . Hubby 26.

Seriously annoying. We both had to get ready for work today and she locked me OUT of the bathroom (where my shaving cream and my toothbrush was) and said "you have other things you could do to get ready, why don't you go make our lunch". Mind you, we are married and I can see her naked and we share the bathroom ALL THE TIME, she was locking me out of the bathroom ONLY because she wanted to manipulate me to do the lunch since she was tired of being the one who has to do it in the morning (and doing takeout or order in isn't an option in her mind since she's a cheap perfectionist). This isn't the ONLY example of her avoiding something she doesn't want to do and manipulating the environment to make someone do something they don't want to do; so if you use this example, understand there are 100's of other examples I could use. I'm trying to grow a "spine" to put an end of her manipulative ways, but if she is going to impose things on me without respecting me to ask me to do it then this isn't a teamwork, this is her trying to boss me around through verbal and non-verbal communication.

Ever since I had one of my ovaries removed, I have been having hot flashes a lot, even though I used to be cold natured. At night during the winter, my husband cranks up all the heaters in the house and I wake up several times a night sweating. What should I do?

Before you ask, my husband and I are both surgeons. I'm actually a resident surgeon and he's chief resident, but... I do have tattoos, but on case the marriage doesn't last. I don't want to get his initial on my ring finger. I talked to my boss but it was a no-go. He actually renewed the policy to no jewelry at all in the OR. We were allowed to have necklaces under our scrubs but now we can't, obviously. So, I can wear my ring out of the OR but we spend a lot of time in there- mainly in four to eight hour spans. What could I do to show that I love him in and out? @Tavy If you would've read all the way through, you would see that I was talking about trying to place the ring on a necklace for the OR.

How is a marriage impacted when oe spouse constanly criticizes or judges the other spouse and their behaviors? How do you address this behavior.

If ur married... You happen to pass by strip. Club ...do you follow your friends or friend in or opt out? What are your thoughts while your there... Like it mayb not? Is it hot or gross? Sexy not sure? Feel shitty? All of it..and be honest...my husband went... And has these mixed emotions....need to know the truth... Thk u please be honest... He sat at the stag...never went back again

sometimes when i cook, ill make my husband's plate and bring it to him in the bedroom while hes watching tv and he will giggle and give me a funny look, and i always say Whhat? And he replies oh nothing. He does this look a lot, and says oh can you try the food first which i do...i was tired of this and said wtfff do you think i poison your food or something and he said ya sometimes, like whyyyyyyyy in the worlllld would i ever do that i have his children i love him so damn much, but he told me himself he feel like im gana do that to him, it makes me not want to cook him ****!

This is SO trivial yet it's started an argument and I am ISO outside parent input. We have a little boy who is 2 years old. My husband gladly appointed me the one to go buy Christmas presents for him. So I go, with a budget, and come home under budget with some great deals. ...Only to have my husband scowl at the play kitchen I bought and go "you really bought a kitchen for a boy?" which turned into a simple conversation at first, with me explaining there is zero reason a boy can't pretend to cook, how our son enjoys watching ME cook and will love his own little kitchen, and how my husband needn't lose his cool over a toy I'm sure our child will outgrow in a matter of years anyway. He just sits there shaking his head. He sends me a text today while I am at work saying he returned the kitchen and bought him some toy guitar (which he won't even like) instead. I don't want to blow this up more, but again, this is something so trivial that my husband took way too far and then overstepped where he shouldn't have. Has anyone else found themselves in a situation like this? And any suggestions on how to lay this issue to rest while still getting MY point across? Our son is practically a baby. A toy is a toy and if he likes it, let's get it for him. There's no need to shove gender roles into the equation- the fact that a kitchen is FAR different from a Barbie for example, aside!