My husband is not physically abusive, but a bully.He has blocked my path to keep me from going somewhere when he wants to talk and I don't, & has pinned me against the wall before to talk to me, but that's as physical as it has ever gotten.I would say he's emotionally abusive.He plays head games- he used sex as a power play for years & when we were separated once before, he told me there was no way I'd get the kids in order for me to go back to him.I don't think he fully understands he's emotionally abusive, because he was raised in an environment like this. We have three children. A son that's three, a daughter aged two, and a baby girl that just turned one. My son is in preschool. This year, my husband has been attending votech classes, and I have been working the past few months. He only has classes on Mondays and Tuesdays. He has not had a job all year. Since my son started preschool in late August, my husband has been taking him to school since I am the one working at the moment. This morning, my husband was sleepy and my son was banging on th door, wanting out of his room. My husband opened the door and told him to "shut the f*ck up" among other things that I can't remember. I brought up getting a divorce a week ago, and he told my mom that I'm cheating on him with my best guy friend and trying to abandon our children, so now my mom hates me. But since then, he has been acting like everything is ok. How do I leave him?? I'm honestly scared. Also, my son has told my husband he does not love him, and has told my mom who was keeping him at the time that he didn't want to go home because "Daddy is there." My mother, who is a retired psych nurse, said Nick even acts like he is verbally abused. My husband says he is "just trying to toughen him up."

She thinks she is slick but she has been creating accounts for her kids. I can tell by the email address that it's her. Well she keeps following my social media page and in following.

My husband and I got married February of 2014. However, I did not change my last name because at the time he was going through a lengthy process of trying to enlist into the military. Now I would like to go change my name so my family "matches" but here is where it gets confusing... My husband's last name was of his mother's ex husband (no relation to him and pretty frustrating) so he intends to change his last name to his mother's maiden name (which is the last name we gave our son with the intent we are changing ours down the road). Can I still go change my name with social security office and everything even though it is a different name from what is on our marriage license? I have read you can "make a name" from a combination of our last names but there is one extra A and a P that comes from neither of ours. Lol. Can anyone please help? It is upsetting to have a family with all different last names and another little one on the way :( Side note, the sad face is NOT about my pregnancy but about our names.

I have been with the S/O for a little over two years, living together for most of that time. Awhile ago, when we first got together we used to talk about our future a lot, and very in detail. Now, years later, even the mention of future sends him into a tantrum or frenzy. Things are not bad between us, we have our disagreements like most couples, but we always love each other at the end of everyday. We have seen many a relationship begin and end in marriage at this point, and so (like every other woman) I began to wonder what the future would hold in our cards. We have talked about why we are not engaged recently (it's always something different now), and while I understand that things need to happen before something like that can happen, every time any marriage or proposals are brought up the timeline gets longer and longer. Just tonight he told me we cannot get married until he pays off his school loans... which by the way is $40,000.... now I'm no mathematician, but on his salary as of now that will be a very, very long time. He is almost 33, and I am ten years his junior, and it seems to me that if at his age he is trying to make the timeline longer and longer, that his intentions are not what he had lead me to believe in the beginning. I do EVERYTHING for this man; his laundry, picking up after him, ironing his clothes, bending over backwards to be "perfect", and I began to wonder is it because I am giving the milk away for free?

I'm far from being ready for marriage, but my boyfriend wants to ask me soon... like within the next year. If he does, we would be engaged for at least 3 years, maybe 4 before I would be ready to get married. Have you ever known someone who was engaged for that long? To me that just seems a bit too long to be engaged... but I don't know?

I love my husband to death but there is this guy I have a crush on since January of this year. We were strangers but I know that he was checking me out and I did the same. A month ago, I came up to him and introduced myself. We hit it off but things got busy in the past few weeks. I think my crush on him developed into infatuation. Even though I haven't seen him, I think about him and fantasize about him often. How should I proceed with forgetting this guy? His absence and presence is killing me. I feel like I'm cheating on my spouse... And he is 14 years younger than I am. I look young by the way.

he has not had an SA done yet. I am hoping to talk him into getting one.

I am a married man who has been seeing my mistress for six years now. My wife is beautiful but there is no passion in our life anymore. I no longer desire her and although we still have sex sometimes, I think she only does it because she feels like she has to, not because she wants to. I think she is truly happier when I keep away from her, and I never want to embarrass her about my having a mistress so I don t flaunt it to her. My mistress is 30 (ten years younger than me) and we have the most passionate sex. She says she loves me, but I don t love her. I can t leave her though, because only with her do I feel truly alive. I need to feel like a man again and I only feel like that when she is in my arms. At home, I feel emasculated and weak. I am only happy with my mistress. I even skipped my children s birthday party to stay with my mistress because I get more pleasure with her. I feel like a man when I please her sexually, and she always lets me know how good I am to her in bed. I need that feeling again and not that of mediocrity. I used to hate adultery and think it was sinful but now my only pleasure comes from it. Should I leave my wife for my mistress or stay with my wife to keep my children secure and still see my mistress as I have done for the past few years now?

My husband of 10 years was having an affair. Saturday night he left and said he wanted to get out for a while. It was 12am before he came home. I noticed he was just sitting in his truck. I went outside to see if he was ok, and he was passed out drunk. I got him to go inside and he laid on the couch and started crying and hitting himself in the head. He just kept saying because he was sorry and he was letting me go, that we couldn't stay together anymore. I was in SHOCK. I didn't see this coming, at all. We had a good relationship. The next day he woke up and left again to "clear his mind". He was gone for four hours. I called him after about 3 and he picked up and hung up on me. I could hear he was in a bar environment. I called back and no answer. I texted and no answer. Then an hour later he texted me that he was on his way and he was sorry, he just didn't feel like talking. It was later that I found he was actually out with a married woman. Later that night I saw him texting someone with a woman's name. I confronted him, he had been having an affair and wanted to leave me for a married woman he had only known for two weeks. She then broke it off with him when she found out I knew about the affair. The next day he told me he was sorry and wanted to be with me and made a huge mistake. He told me that he did it because she was his "ideal woman" because she liked sushi and craft beer. I am so lost. I don't know if I should salvage this marriage or move on? I should add that last year we had some issues with his lack of motivation in our relationship... but we had worked through that from what I thought.

I have three children I don't have time for bS. Been with him for the past 14 yrs:/ Always have his food on the table. Have his clothing ready for everything:/ I don't know what else I should do:/ always something to complain about me:/ is this normal?? Should I go to therapy??

Recently, i don't feel good at all in our relationship. Me and my husband are married for 9 years and have two kids. The problem started when he didn't want to have sex during both my pregnancies or during the breastfeeding (1yr each) . Now it's been more than 6 months, I have stopped breastfeeding, he still avoids it. If I don't take initiative, it never happens. Basically, we have sex every three months. Things i tried to do- Tried calm conversations many times Suggested marriage counseling Candles, massages, bjs Behaving according to the book suggestions His reaction- Cold and calm Neglecting me more He doesn't have time for counseling When I asked him if he want a divorce, he says, he doesn't want to. But, if I insist, it would be ok for him. Other problems- He never gives flowers or gifts( my birthday, mother's day, anniversary included) , never appreciates me. Divorces are not common at all for me. So i feel sad and confused all the time.

But she wants to have a kid before she becomes 30. she's 28 im 31 is it bad I feel this way and if is bad to feel the way I feel why?

I saw a really good deal online for a "home gym" system and am thinking about buying it for my husband for Christmas. We recently finished our basement and it would go perfectly down there. My husband isn't overweight, he's just pretty averagely built. Over the summer on a beach trip he made some remark about wishing he were more toned. I wouldn't mean offense by getting this for him, but is a gift like this something that can be taken the wrong way by most men? What do you think?

I'm reflecting a little today about my marriage and as far back as I can remember my wife has always wanted control over me, my behavior, my opinions, my beliefs, and my identity. And as retaliation, as far back as I can remember, I wanted control over her looks, her sexuality, her time, and her comfort zone. And while I am trying to put an end to my 1/2 of the power struggle by catching myself when I'm trying to control her or make her "care" about something that I care about; I can't help but feel that every argument in our marriage was grounded in a selfish desire/need. Is that normal? I'm actually a little ashamed of myself really. I honestly didn't see how I was contributing to the power struggle until the last few days. Not only did I have my own "care too much" drama where I wanted her to care about the same things that I did, but I was always giving in to her "care too much" drama by obliging in hopes to entice her to care about mine. So when I stopped caring about her selfish desires/needs, and I stopped caring about my own, I felt the power struggle of getting my needs met and satisfying her needs disappear. But now there's this problem: My wife's needs aren't being met and she refuses to "not need them" like I did. So I am super vulnerable to her sharp tongue and her verbally abusive behavior now that she's not going to be treated like a princess any more (and me a peasant)... Focus less on the second paragraph and more on the first please. But if you are going to comment on the 2nd paragraph, understand that getting my wife to do ANYTHING against her will is impossible (even through manipulation) so fixing my marriage isn't an option, just myself and hoping she uses me as a role model for how she should be behaving. That's honestly all I can do, right? I can only change me, right?

I'm starting to grow a "spine". I'm not good at this though because I don't know entirely what is reasonable and unreasonable requests/boundaries; so I need to ask all of you if I handled this okay so I can determine if this could have been handled better or not. Brief overview of the issue: Son wouldn't get up for school after staying up late as a family. Son couldn't be gently pushed into getting ready. Wife refused to allow me to use force or manipulate him. I gently tried two more times with failure. I let him sleep 5 minutes so he could "get his way" then succeeded in getting him up. Wife saw how much time he wasted and got angry. Wife shamed son for his behavior in hopes to make him "feel bad". I tell her to knock it off since it wasn't his fault (he only had 4 hours of sleep because of us). She didn't listen. I take him to school late. Here's the situation between me and her: On the way into work, I wanted to discuss the situation. I told her that if we are sharing this parenting thing then we need a system - how are rules decided, who's the enforcer, who's the supporter, who's the nurturer, etc... She said she didn't want to talk about it (putting up a boundary and avoiding it); so I said "That's fine, but until we DO talk about it, I refuse to take your side if I disagree with your behavior." She obviously didn't like the consequences of pushing off the discussion very well, but I am tired of her over-reacting and using tactics she wouldn't approve of me to use.

If he put some of your silkies on to guilt you would he have to wear it very long before you agreed to wear it instead ? A Bit embarrassing but kind of tricky don't you think ? She is curvy and I am thin so the fit is not a problem At least in the Christian Religion the man wears the pants in the Family I believe

I've been married to an incredibly sexy and amazing man for the past 2 years. (I'm 23 he's 27) Recently I've gotten into nursing school and the stress from it caused me to gain some weight. It's not the most weight ever, but it makes me feel really self conscious in regards to my husband. Whenever he tries to make love with me I always get self conscious about the weight. I'm always worried he doesn't think I'm as pretty or sexy as he used to. Maybe it's silly, but it's really important to me that my husband thinks I'm beautiful/sexy. My husband has an incredibly sexy body (I'm not just saying that because I married him). Whenever he takes off all his clothes it makes me feel more self conscious because I haven't kept myself up as well as he has. I just don't feel as sexy as him. I used to love sex with my husband, but recently my drive has gone down and I think it's due to being self conscious. I'll still do it, but I don't enjoy it like I used to. I feel really dumb about this because my husband still acts like he's sexually attracted to me as he ever has been. I also feel dumb for feeling so bad about this. I'm a 23 year old woman. I feel like I should have more confidence then this. How can I get over being so self conscious about my weight gain with my husband?

whats the limit of years a wife should be younger then her husband? I would like to have a wife who's younger than me ....just saying...would you recommend it? (I'm 23 by the way) not getting married anytime soon, but it would nice to hear some opinions

I slapped my wife 6 months before when we are having some argument because her bad behavior and her bad words...i knew it was wrong and i apologized with her ..... But now we are in the divorce process and we already separated for more than 6 months..... will it be any issue if she bring out this in court ? but there is no case or something like that.... but she is keep on telling this to my friends that i slapped her...any suggestion please....

Yesterday, my husband and I got into it pretty good. Typically when he gets off work he comes straight home. I usually get there a little while after him. This past Saturday a close friend of his family passed away. This woman and his mom were really good friends. The other night he comes home and says that he's taking his mom (who drives) over to the woman's house. She only had one daughter who I found out my husband slept with once years ago. Well, they stay gone several hours. Last night he texts me on the way home to say that he's going to stop by his mom's house again and sit with her. Per my other question the other day, it was his night to cook. My reply to him was "I guess." His reply back was, "you say that like I'm your child and I'm asking permission." A couple of hours later I ask him if he was still planning on cooking. And he gets upset with me. I had left the house so by the time I got home he was already there. We get into it and he leaves the house about 9:30 PM. When he comes back it's right at 11 PM. My question is this. Who else just drives around when they're mad? Something deep inside me feels that he wasn't driving around but either at someone's house or he met someone somewhere. We get into it again this morning and he said that because I don't do it doesn't mean someone else doesn't. When he gets mad he'll go drive around for a few hours, or so he says. Is my husband the only one who does this? When I'm mad I want to stay and talk. My husband likes to leave the house for a few hours. Does that now make him a weak, childish man who doesn't want to stay and deal with the situation?

I'm a 46 year old single mom of 2 (15 and 17). I recently started a casual sexual relationship with a much younger guy (23). I feel torn about what to do. On the positive side it's the best sex I've had in years. I haven't had any sex since my divorce and the last few years of marriage the sex was bad. This guy makes me orgasm almost every time. He's got a ripped body. I feel extrodinarily flattered that he's so attracted to me sexually (I love it when he gets an errection when he sees me naked). On the other hand I feel like I'm being irresponsible. The guy is young enough to be my son. I'm a mom to two kids. I don't feel like I should be having casual sex no matter how fun it may be. I'm worried what my kids would think if they found out. Is it OK for me to keep going or should I stop the relationship?

So my mother in law is completely crazy. She s register as a sex offender because she let her husband mess with her daughter. She treats my husband like crap and he takes it. She has never cared for her kids at all. My husband basically had to grow up on his own because of her. And she try s to Destroy our marriage all the time. But he still talks to her and I don t understand why? He don t stand up to her at all and his excuse is he don t wanna hurt her feeling. I don t want to make him choose but it s come to the point to where I may have to but I don t wanna feel guilty for it. Please help

My wife plans to get her senior colleague in her real estate firm to come around to our apartment for a meal and drinks with the landlord. We rent with the owners by sharing a bedroom. I am quite fine with the idea of them all having a meal and a few drinks despite the fact I have to work and won't get back until late. But it has put the landlord at unease and he made some passing comments about what my wife and the colleague would do afterwards... I felt that was really inappropriate considering he doesn't know the colleague and the colleague has a family living in the building next door. I know my wife's colleague quite well. They have cooperated to close many sales and made a lot of money. My parents were acting weird at this news too. I have regular contact with mum and mentioned it in passing. She was asking me if I have an open marriage or if we are swingers etc. Going on about how it is inappropriate for her to bring another bloke into the home etc etc. But the sole purpose of her asking her senior colleague is to try and convince the landlords to invest in more property because they are actively looking for investment properties again. I want to hear the opinions of others? Should I be thinking about losing face? Or just let it all slide as I see nothing major wrong. A couple of years ago when we first got married, I might have been more insecure and upset. But now I am hardly worried. Yet the landlord's reaction and the reaction of my parents have me thinking. I will admit it made me a little uncomfortable at the first suggestion but my wife was really good about it and said she would invite the colleague's wife as well. I would like to come along but I cannot fool around with my job - it is so crucial to us surviving and paying the bills.

Or girlfriends if the supposly or truly care about them? How can you love someone but **** someone else behind their back?

What happens when neither spouse ever aquired any income during the marriage (dual-unemployment) and the only debts aquired are money borrowed from parents (no contracts)? Also, no kids together, but one spouse is in arrears for child-support from previous marriage.

I.e. if the husband watches porn and talks about other women in front of them. But as long as they hang around her the most. I'd expect a typical wife to be furious, as you'd often hear on the news of sex scandals from politicians - but maybe that is a facade? Are couples nowadays more "open"? I think celebrities are more open in their relationships than politicians.

Since before I married my husband (was married once before, had a kid with ex) I started putting back a nice savings for my son for college/emergencies. My family, who are bankers and accountants were very proud of me for this. My husband now, whom I have been married to for 5 years desperately wants that money and told me he is "entitled to it". He told his co workers that his wife "has a bunch of money put back and its OURS and I can take it and put a down payment on an 18 wheeler". They encouraged this and told him to do it. Recently, his dog started scratching and shedding all his hair and he told me that he demands I take money from that account and pay his dog's vet bills. He also demanded I take money out and pay his dr's co pay plus buy him some work boots because "your son doesn't need it, WE do". My accountant has advised me to remove that money asap and put it someplace else. Of course I did not take any out for him and his rich mother bought his boots, but why is he like this? He is a truck driver, but hardly makes any money. We can hardly buy groceries and as a pregnant woman I do have food benefits, which he eats all of and drinks all the milk ( I hardly get a cup of milk a week because he guzzles it down). If I buy groceries, he will gorge himself on those (eat 6 waffles in 1 sitting and leave the kids nothing). What can be done about this? He also thinks he is entitled to spend my son's child support on himself as well. I have tried to take the kids and leave, and he tries to barricade me in the house and tells me if you walk out that door its over, etc. He also tells me my house my rules (my family paid cash for our house and its in my name!) Sadly- this is a real question and really does happen. Its a joint account and he has access them them, the bank somehow set it up like this.

My husband is one of the most selfish human beings I have ever met. I bought a used car earlier this year and the tires are already peeling/looking like they have been cut with a knife/peeled. We have 2 kids and 1 on the way. He used to be a mechanic and has acknowledged that they are not in the best shape, but said absolutely nothing needs to be replaced until the "metal shows through". He is a truck driver and wants to become an owner/operator. He told me that if a tax refund comes, he is taking the entire sum and giving it to his boss to put down on a truck because it will "bring in lots of money and is guaranteed wealth". Our accountant told him this is false and that legally, tax refunds are split between spouses if filing jointly. Is it more important for him to buy an 18 wheeler OR to make sure his expecting wife and kids have a safe vehicle to ride around in? one of the kids is from a previous marriage, WRONG AGAIN!

This is a very interesting time to be me. It has taken me 25 years to realize that I'm not truly "UnderValued" by my peers; no, instead, I'm UnderValued by myself as a result of me being UnderAppreciated by my mother. And when I realized that I'm NEVER going to get the love that I feel that I'm deserved by my Mother (since she never got the love she felt she deserved from her deceased parents), this helped me re-frame my personal worth and how I have worth (even if my mother will never acknowledge or appreciate it). The problem isn't me, it's my Mother; she has always refused counseling to deal with her past trauma, so she pushed her poison on to me to offload her pain/suffering (just like I offloaded all of my drama to you on here for the last 5 years). So if my questions seem a little more "mature" going forward, I hope you realize the turning point - acceptance. I had to reach there because "ain't nobody got time" for depression. But my wife is still in her mental cage, dealing with her own parent issues. Her Father didn't protect her (he wanted her to have thick skin so he teased her a lot) and her Mother didn't nurture her (she was too concerned about her own feelings to nurture my wife's - even today, it's all about her and her fears). And just like me, she'd rather spend her time keeping up with our lifestyle than take time out of the routine to go get professional help... I'd like to both be mentally healthy, is there anything I can do to help her reach there?