I have been with my now wife for about 3 years. We just recently got married last month. We are both Christian and she is not from the United States so we decided to get married and start the paper work to get her naturalized. (Small ceremony at church) The thing is that we are not living together although we live a couple miles from one another. The plan is to have the big celebration in about 5 months along with the honeymoon. Then we will finally be able to start our lives and make love. We have never made love, in fact not even close and it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am a Christian and refuse to turn to porn or any other way to satisfy my need for intimacy. Lately we have been having some issues such as bickering and small fights. Partly I think it is due to the fact that we are both intimately frustrated. I promised her that I would wait until our celebration to make love. I will keep that promise but has this ever been done? Is this normal? I feel completely depressed sometimes because I have a ring on my finger and a beautiful wife but I feel as if she is just a glorified friend sometimes. I see her about 3-5 times per week and it kills me every single time I see her. What should I do?

But that's cos I find it sexy. Doesn't mean it's the only way to get married or that you taking mine should be emasculating. It would just be odd, cos people aren't used to it. Also, baby, I love you but you can't take my surname, cos I want to be missus husband :D

I am 43 and lately have been a mess. I'm crying all the time, depressed about getting older, anxious and have nightly nightmares. My friend suggested that I was possibly in a midlife crisis or in menopause but that doesn't seem right. Could this be a midlife crisis or am I too young?

Is my husband being controlling if he asks if my ex husband was at my house and when?

I am in an interesting situation. My husband doesn t want me hanging out with two of my friends anymore, people I ve been friends with for about 8 years or so. Here s the situation: One is a guy, the other is a girl. My husband s reasons are: they are both bad influences (both do drugs including dope and weed) and the guy has continued to make sexual comments and even subtle advances towards me, even after I ve told him to stop. The girl has a child and does weed and has even snorted dope in the child s presence before. She s engaged to a man who s in jail and they constantly argue on the phone all the time. The guy has no job, no car and multiple kids by different women. Every time we all hang out, it s usually till late in the morning, sometimes till 3-4 in the morning. I always end up buying the guy stuff, like cigarettes and food. I know it sounds bad, but these two are my friends and I don t want to lose them. My husband has been pleading with me to stop hanging out with them, as they will get me in trouble somehow or something bad will happen if I do, according to him. He doesn t ask me to stop hanging out with anyone else, just these two. He hates the fact that he s home alone with our 2 year old while I m hanging with them, often till late in the morning. What do I do?

I m going to make this as short as I can. My husband and I got married in 10 and separated in 12. He sent me divorce papers in 12 stating that we separated that year. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of moving and lost those papers. So he had more sent to me in 16 but in the newest papers he sent, he said that we separated in 16 and not 12 like the original papers stated. I actually just went by my old college to see if they had copies of the old divorce papers that I had to submit for proof of separation and they had them. So I now have copies of the old papers that say we separated in 12 and I have the new papers that say we separated in 16. The thing is, he s military and he gets BAH because he s married to me which is why I think he lied on the new papers, so it wouldn t mess up the BAH. I don t want the BAH, I want a divorce but I don t think it s a good idea for me to sign papers that he lied on. What I need to know is what should I do next? He lives in California and filed them there, I live in Alabama. I ve talked to lawyers in AL who say I should talk to a lawyer in CA since that s where they were filed but it s not like I can just drop everything to go meet with a lawyer in CA. How should I proceed? Should I sign them? Should I talk to JAG? I m not sure what to do!

When my husband and I moved in together, we decided that all mutual bills would be split down the middle. Rent, car insurance, daycare, electric, water, internet, etc. Well, back in June 2015 my husband quit his job to start a business with his sister. I fully supported this. I was happy to let him live his dream. A few months after starting the business, they started having money issues so I had to carry the burden of paying all the bills BY MYSELF. Every single penny of my paycheck, my bonuses, an extra money I came into - had to go straight to bills. No money left over for extra things. We are STRUGGLING and I am struggling with the fact that I am supporting this family by myself. Not to mention he works every day - including the weekends - and it's just not paying off. It has been almost a year and I am still paying the bills all my by myself. We have 3 kids at home that need diapers, clothes...etc. I'm at the breaking point where I want to tell him that he needs to find a full time job and do this business on the side. It's stressing me out and causing us to fight? Is it selfish of me to want it to go back to where the bills are all split down the middle? I don't even get extra money to buy mascara!! I miss being able to go to the grocery store or even the clothing store and just pick up something for myself...or for my kids...or husband for just because!! What do I do?

I really don't know what to do. We have always been so close. I don't even know what to say, if I confess to my wife of 15 years, etc. I'm overwhelmed and we made a drunken mistake. We've both agreed to keep it quiet for now and hope that it will blow over. Better for everyone involved especially both her children as well as mine. I just don't know how to cope with this. She's a beautiful woman, we just got drunk and let things happen that shouldn't have. What should I do?

My husband and I recently agreed on an open marriage. I am classmates with a guy that I m interested in having sex with. How do I approach this guy and let him know what I want? Should I text him? FB message him? Write him a note? What are the chances that I ll get turned down? To all of you guys out there, what would you say to a woman who was in an open marriage and asked you for sex?

My husband has looked at my phone twice without asking me since we've been married. We've been married for five years. The first time he found texts between my ex husband and I about my ex husband bringing dinner over for me and our kids which I didn't tell my husband about at the time (we were dating then) and my husband said the texts were flirtatious and he thought I was hiding stuff from him. The other time was recently and he found texts between a male friend or mine and me venting to my male friend about my husband and me telling my friend he could do better than his current girlfriend. I think it's an intrusion of privacy that my husband did this. Should I'd divorce him since I cannot trust him not to look at my phone?

I mean like when he's washing dishes or we've just woken up or if he's on the computer and I hug him - in those instances to sometimes touch him sexually. Is that an invasion of personal space? Or is this the norm?? In my past relationship which was basically my only long term relationship, I feel like I was more for sex than anything else and so we touched a lot. Whether this led to sex or not. Half the time it did. From what I gather from my husband, his past partners have been stingy on certain sexual things. He says he's not really gotten much oral for example. Anyway, I don't know if he's just used to less sexual things or if I'm used to more sexual things, but I want to touch him more. Is this the norm? I talked to him about it and said I want to touch him more. He said it's fine but I sense a wall up when I do, he just doesn't seem as receptive and it makes me feel weird when that's the case. I'm sure he just needs to get used to it. But I'd like to know from others if this kind of touching is the norm?

I am currently 3 years married and we have a 1 year old daughter together. I am in orange county and thats where we live but he is from Sacramento area. Things arent working out at all and our relationship is volatile. Divorcing means he will move back up north...I m really the only reason he lives down here. He is a felon, I have no record. He has full custody of his son because his ex didnt want him. I want to divorce but fear that our custody situation would be drama. I want full custody of my daughter, I couldnt do 50/50 and be away from my daughter months at a time. How would custody work when the parents live on opposite sides of a state?

I took today off work under false pretenses, and did not tell my wife, so I could spend a leisurely few hours with a fine girl 21 years younger than my wife whom I see frequently for rough sex. Was curious if anyone else enjoyed this type of mischievous behavior as much as I do? Almost where the thrill of skipping work and lying to a spouse is as pleasurable as the sex itself.

If he doesnt want to hear it, he walks away. Been together 17 years and have done everything for this man for years after he became disabled. He doesnt even try to help himself anymore. If I am left to stand alone so often because of his attitude wouldnt divorce be a much better option? Ive made it clear I am leaving him in a few days but honestly I think he believes he can manipulate me further.

My wife is in the last stages of cancer and there's not much that can be done for her. Her health has been declining rapidly over the last 2 years and she's now living in the hospital. 7 months ago, she confessed that she had been having an affair for 4 years and that this guy was her soul mate. We've been together 42 years so this shocked me on all levels possible. She explained that she's always felt a void in our marriage and that this guy filled it, but that she couldn't divorce because she didn't think it'd be fair to me but now that her time was almost up that it was time to "live for her." She asked that I stop coming to the hospital as she wanted her "soulmate" by her side when she passed and from what I've heard, he's been up there with her ever since. I felt hurt, stupid, lied to, disgusted, angry, and shame over this. There's no point in divorcing her, since well.....you know. I just don't understand how she could do this to me and without my knowledge! I feel like I've wasted my entire life on this woman. She actually demanded that I allow him to attend her funeral! I wish she would have never told me.

when I first married my husband I decided I could give him at least one child. after seeing how he acts with mine, being controlling and not showing enough love or affection and seen how immature he was. I decided I don't want any by him at all. some people are like if he has his own maybe he'll change. and some say no. I think he teases the kids too much and to me I don't think it funny they are more of an insult. he acts like a child inform of my parents and always want to be the center of attention. I feel that he is not ready. he claims that he is but I say other wise look at his actions. now I'm scared to even have one by him, let alone be with him. I'm considering divorce possible soon in the future. I believe that I'm making the right decisions what do you think?

My wife has an order of protection against me and now she wants to talk to me what do I do I already spent a couple days in jail and now I have to take the domestic violence classes I've never hit my wife or abused her in anyway. She has been pending back surgery and my daughter has been sick I love my wife and family very much but I do not want to end up in jail or prison for trying to do the right thing and that's to save my marriage what do I do

I divorced my wife 8 years ago we were young and didn t know about divorcing and we did our divorce without kids even though we had kids. I m trying to file for custody for my daughter but legally she doesn t exist because of the way we did our divorce so neither me or the mom has custody of our daughter. How do I make this right? Am I facing jail time?

I'd like to get some some different perspectives/questions to keep in mind when making this decision. My boyfriend and I are 23. He's about to graduate this week :) and has a full-time job lined up. I am working full-time and will be going back to school next year to get my A.A. in Nursing (it's an accelerated program, about 14 months). We have been talking about getting married and moving in together. I'm comfortable with waiting until I graduate and get a nursing job, but we are also discussing ways to do this before I start school. Recently, he asked how I would feel about getting married and moving in his with him and his family until I graduate and we can save money for our own home. This is maybe 2.5 years away or so. In the meantime, we would be living with his grandfather, using the bedroom, bathroom, and den/office space in the basement as our own and then sharing the kitchen. We will obviously contribute toward the monthly bills, and there are a lot of non-monetary ways that I will be able to help out, even while I am in school and BF is the only one of us working. My gut feeling says that this would be a great arrangement while we are saving for a house. I think that as long as we could agree to start looking for a home once I'm working as an RN and we have a good down payment saved up, I would be pretty happy with this. My questions are these; respond to all or some of your choosing: -What experiences have people have living with their spouses' parents/having their spouse move into their family home? Overall, a good or bad arrangement? -What do parents/other family members want from the new in-law coming in? What might ease the transition for everyone involved? -What things made it a successful arrangement? What things would you have done differently? -What have I not considered here that I should be thinking about? -Etc. Thanks for any thoughts!

I'm a 27 y/o,married 9 years,mother of one,charge nurse in an Emergency Dept. I spend an average of 50hrs per week at work. A year ago I developed a friendship with a 40 y/o married 20 years,father of 3, police officer. At first it was a co-workers friendship, later he confessed he had a crush on me and I told him I'd never cheated on my husband, he said he had, early in his marriage. For this past year we have shared alot about our lives,see each other at work, and recently developed a deep lust for each other. It has not yet become physical but we both have confessed the urge to want it to become physical. We have even made plans to meet outside of work but for one reason or another our schedules intervene. We text each other everyday, call each other pet names, know our schedules and times our spouses get home, act like strangers at work, and hide our "friendship" to most. I tried to end communication with him this week but he didnt want to, he said as long as we dont let it become emotional we would be ok. Is this considered an affair if we havent become physical yet?

was having an emotional affair for over 3 years with a co worker, we are both married, he is 10 years older, we would share everything , secrets, stories, etc etc, never did anything physical, hung out at work, went to lunch stuff like that, he did alot of favors for me with my computer stuff, he would talk about stuff in the future, he even carved my name on his fence, weird i know, but we knew we liked each other, we texted everyday or email , and now all of a sudden 3 weeks ago nothing cut off, gone like he disappeared, he emailed me before this said hes getting his life back in order and hes sober, etc, and he said the only thing I told you was that i liked you and now nothing, cant get him to talk to me at all, we work opposite shifts so i will never see him at work, but im just confused and sad,, help what am i suppose to think?

The last time he beat me, he was drunk it was over a year ago, &always blames stress. It makes me feel like he wants to kill me. He never apologizes & says he doesn't blame me if I want to leave. I told him how it made me feel &I felt he was going to kill me the last time, he responded, "I'm glad I didn't" & kind of said it with a smile on his face. I feel really stupid staying in this relationship, but I also feel trapped because we have 6 children together. I could get a job making good money but it's 12 hours every evening & almost 2hours driving time &would be away from my children a lot &it really hurts me. I feel like I've sacrificed so much just to be with him & I don't know why when he flips out occasionally & hurts me. He's also been emotionally &verbally abusive to the extreme. I don't have enough room to type it all. I daydream I could come across a couple hundred thousand dollars &buy a house & pay off car & leave him &could just get a day time job & still be with my kids a lot. I'm so torn &don't know what to do. He's been nice here lately &it gives me hope, but this has happened time & time again. I don't know why I keep putting up with it & every time I wonder if this is the time he's going to change. I really need help. I love him but I know what I need to do &just can't because of the sacrifices with my kids. I'm so sad deep down and trying to put on a happy face to pretend it's all ok & it isn't. There's just so much I could say.

Let me start by saying this is more my issue than my husbands. I have a loving husband. But my ex husband cheated on me A lot for yrs raped me. I was sexually molested as a child. And after my divorce a man drugged my drink and raped me. I have lots of sexual issues and problems with my self esteem. Believe it or not my husband has really showed me not all guys are the same and just perverts. He does look in public not oogle which I can deal with its natural as long as he stays on a diet and doesnt eat or touch the menu. I think sometimes when we do it from behind he could be thinking of other prettier women or just different woman out of being bored with me. We have been married 8 yrs and have a good sex life. But my ex husband flat out told me he was bored at the 5 yr mark and went with another woman. My second husband tells me he isnt bored and could sleep with me forever. Sometimes I think he is nicer and may be lying because he loves me and has a concious. He's a christian too. He says it feels better is the reason he likes it and it does It goes deeper. So he could be telling the truth. But Im always secretly a little sad after when we do it this way. Do ALL men think about other women during doggy is that normal as a man? Or am I just paranoid because I had to deal with some perverted monsters in my life. I definitely dont want my husband to turn into one of those...PLEASE HELP and BE HONEST GUYS

It has taken a very long time for my husband to open up about what he likes/wants in the bedroom, so I don't want to turn down his request. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it though. Not because it will be painful, but because I think it's degrading. Now I know men and women view sex differently, so if I'm being too sensitive, I need to hear it. I want to make him happy, but there is part of me that is feeling uneasy about why, WHY would he want to do that to me?

I will make this as short as possible. We've been married 5 years and have a two year old daughter. Over the past two years I have been less and less a husband and more of a paycheck. My wife has for two years put all her focus and energy into being a mother and has nothing left for me. As I type this it sounds selfish and immature but its how I feel. She is possessive of OUR child and makes it seem like I have to have her permission to do anything with OUR daughter. And sex? What's that. We have had sex 5 times in two years, after the last time in sep 12 my birthday she said well I glade I got that over. I've barely touched her since then. She has broke me and made me feel so unwanted and unloved. I went to her and expressed my feeling about the marriage and her response was "everything is fine and were happy" and would talk about it anymore. For six weeks I had an affair with a co-worker. At first I was happy. Sex with someone who wanted me and everything else with the woman I wanted but I wasn't sure wanted me. Now I'm worse off then before. All the same feeling of being unwanted and unloved now guilty to go with it. I ended the affair and seems I've gotten away with it. I know its wrong, but parts of me wants to tell my wife about the affair in hopes that it will get something out of her, a response. Either way this has to end. Divorce or a real marriage. In reading this back I sound weak, odd because I'm anything but weak. I need to tell her, either it ends or she notices me again. Becoming a mother doesn't mean you can stop being a wife. Should I tell her, or just divorce her without causing her the pain? Maybe she wouldn't care anyways.

had an emotional attachment/affair for over 2 years with a coworker, very close, hung out alot, never got physical, had a strong strong connection, talked everyday or emailed, miss our interaction, had no plans of leaving our significant others, were just being there for each other, a few months ago , emails stopped, texting stopped, talking stopped, nothing, no reasoning, no goodbye just GONE, wont respond to anything, tried everything at least to get a goodbye nothing ,what am I suppose to think ? feeling totally confused and heartbroken

The following incident occurred nearly nine years ago..... A single woman (age 27) was involved in a two year affair with an older, married supervisor (age 36) from another department within the company. She expressed to her lover that she was tired of hiding their relationship and she desired to be with him exclusively. Her lover agreed with her views. As a result, the supervisor decided to leave his family (wife, age 34 and daughters, ages 13 andamp; 12) in order to marry her. As expected, the fallout from the divorce was devastating for his family resulting in his betrayed wife gaining primary custody of their daughters. The aftermath of the divorce left his wife and daughters refusing to allow him back into their lives. The supervisor tried to maintain contact with his daughters through bi-weekly visitation, phone contact as well as holidays. Nothing seemed to work as his daughters simply stopped all contact with him. They expressed to him that wanted nothing to do with him due his "betrayal of their family". Also, they told him that they would NEVER accept his mistress as any part of their family whatsoever. This left the supervisor heart broken and his girlfriend/ fiancée absolutely furious about their decision. They were later married without his daughters acceptance or attendance. (His ex-wife remarried five years later and their daughters embraced their step father instead). To this day, his daughters chose to have nothing to do with him as they begin their lives as young adults. Questions: 1.) Why was the mistress (now step mother) so upset about the daughters refusal to accept her? 2.) What could be done to repair the broken relationship between the supervisor and his daughters? Thanks for your response.

I know I know, an affair is so wrong and I'm not proud of myself for letting it get this far. It started out innocently enough on Facebook lol. I've known the guy since I was 7 and when we were teens had a brief romance. I never forgot about him and we both moved on with our lives. Marriage, kids, etc. So anyway we reconnected on FB and began meeting for coffee, which led to incredible make out sessions in his car. We have not had sex. But I need to end it, he talks about the future and how much he loves me and misses me. He wants to get a divorce. Tells me that he hates his wife, they haven't had sex in over a year. He texts me everyday, all day. He messages me on FB goodnight and good morning. Constantly tells me "love ya" in those messages with a million smileys after it. He tells me that I'm his everything and that he'll never let me go. I need to end this, I never should have started it but I did. I don't want to hurt him but I know I will. But it's gotten to a point now where it's annoying and sometimes creepy. What can I say to him without being to mean?

I found this article while googling the subject and for me I think it hits the nail on the head. Objectification of women in modern society is putting a very Real strain on relationships. Men it s being proved! Just as your hardwired to appreciate the female form your SO s libido goes down when she catches you! And if you keep doing it you will Permanently turn her off you! A university study due to be released has gained overwhelming statistics showing a 97 percent drop in attraction of women to boyfriend or husband s caught eyeing up another women Get this the hormonal effect lasts a minimum of three hours! In cases where it is a real problem and your partner keeps looking the affect is permanent in other words your wife or partner remains unattracted to you Forever! So for you guys out there who say you can t control your impulse to look you d better take a course!

Why would anyone want to live like that?

I am currently deployed overseas and have no clue what to do. It s not like I can go to the mall and shop around for a few hours, nor do I want to just send flowers. Any ideas?

My husband has been pulling away for about 6 months. He says nothing is wrong, but I can tell that its different. All he does when he gets home is plop in front of the tv and fall asleep, EVERY NIGHT. I have tried everything to get his attention. I did my hair, changed the way I dress, put make-up on more often. But it still seems like he would rather hang out with his friends. What am I doing wrong? (He is 25, Im 24. We have been married 5 years and we have two children)