Marriage & Divorce: Question: Wife is stronger, and we both like it; tips for making it fun? |
- Question: Wife is stronger, and we both like it; tips for making it fun?
- Question: Parents and Kids?
- Question: Relationship with a divorced man advice?
- Question: My husband was drinking at a party and touched a womens nipple in front of me he said it was cause he was drunk what do you think?
- Question: Can constant cheating accusations push someone away?
- Question: Can you deserve to be hit ?
- Question: MY WIFE IS CHEATING ON ME HOW DO I FIND OUT?
- Question: Answers from Divorced parents?
- Question: I feel horrible! Accidentally/indirectly hurt my husband?
- Question: Do you feel responsible for your spouses happiness?
- Question: Husband leads me on for sex sometimes?
- Question: Is there spousal support if the parents were never married?
- Question: Should I divorce my husband?
- Question: Why does my husband do this?
- Question: I wanted to know so I asked. Was that wrong of me?
- Question: Anytime we have a disagreement, my wife reacts by temporarily taking her wedding ring off?
- Question: Should I just surrender to the social pressures in my marriage and have my life become meaningless? Would this backfire?
- Question: I'm hurt by my wife. I talk to her every day about our life together and now I realize it goes in one ear and out the other. How to cope?
- Question: What is acceptable Facebook use for a married man?
- Question: My mother in law wants to live with us :(?
- Question: I am in process of divorce. I used dating website.?
- Question: Is my husband flirting with his female student?
- Question: How do I overcome my wife's emotional manipulation?
- Question: Can two people from different states get married?
- Question: Should I give my hubby a chances to change ?
- Question: Is it best to date and marry someone who has kids like you?
- Question: Together for 16 years and she NEVER initiates any type of sexual situation..?
- Question: Can a wife leave her husband in the state of Missouri and ge child support?
- Question: I have been living with my wife, (legally married) for two yrs 3 months. The complex is now putting me out. Do I have a legal stand?
- Question: How do I trust my wife, she keeps lying?
- Question: Am I giving my wife too much respect as a logical human being? Was I wrong to believe that the gender norms are inaccurate?
- Question: How do I stop my wife from wanting to let her Soul Glo?
- Question: What kind of husband do you think my wife needs? What qualities should I possess to make her under me as her authority figure?
- Question: How can I make my wife love me again?
- Question: No intimacy in marriage, never really was and I have pulled away?
- Question: Marriage question?
- Question: I think my wife is still talking/texting the person she had an affair with! What do I do?
- Question: Is my husband verbally abusive?
- Question: Respect is useless if both spouses don't believe in it. At this point, how do I fight for control over myself without being a jerk?
- Question: What is wrong with me :(?
- Question: My wife wants to divorce me because she found out I'm an atheist please help?
- Question: Do you consider this appropriate behavior?
- Question: Why is it so hard to forgive my wife for cheating? Is it because she lied about it or it took her over 13 year's to tell me?
- Question: How can a person have sex with the same person for the rest of their life?
- Question: If my parents oppose that I take my wife's family name at marriage,what to do?
- Question: My wife lied to me about a past relationship?
- Question: How to deal with a controlling and power hungry spouse (in my case wife) who demands obedience/compliance?
- Question: Why am I feeling so homesick?
- Question: For my husband?
- Question: My wife refuses to have a budget?
- Question: How do you make separation easier?
- Question: What are tell tale signs that you are being controlled by your spouse's bad temper and irrationality?
- Question: Why change cars when hers is running fine?
- Question: Why change cars when hers is running fine?
- Question: How would you interpret this husband/wife relationship?
- Question: Help me tackle this situation!?
- Question: Am I doing the right thing by staying with my husband?
- Question: What cause the usual increase in the hip of a married woman and how can it be controlled?
- Question: Things about my husband were not pleasing to me, but I never cheated, desired another, or wanted a divorce, I stayed faithful, why couldn t he?
- Question: Marriage sex?
Question: Wife is stronger, and we both like it; tips for making it fun? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:50 PM PDT Guys (or women too, if this is the case for you): Since being married, my wife and I have discovered that she is [quite] stronger than I am. I am 5'10, avid runner, and she is 5'9, former collegiate swimmer - it all makes sense. I discovered quickly that this is a pretty major turn on for me, but wasn't sure how normal that response was for me. It took my wife a while, but she has admitted that she is also turned on by her ability to overpower me. This is new territory for both of us, as neither have any experience in the world of kinkiness. Any couples with experience in this type of situation? Tips or ideas? She sheepishly admits that she would like to try new things as well :) Ive discovered that it must be somewhat normal based on the number of stronger wife/girlfriend questions on here - even though most seem to be unrealistic and troll-like. Do lots of guys fantasize about this type of thing? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:46 PM PDT I'm happy that I have a husband that love his kids. As a wife is I feel like he love them way way more than he love me. Am I pity for feeling this way because I want more from him. I feel like I can just pop out the babies and we can live a seperate life. I just want to feel the love as well. |
Question: Relationship with a divorced man advice? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:33 PM PDT Last year I met a divorced Persian man with 2 kids who is 20 years my elder and fell in love with him. It had been years since his divorce yet when I met him he was still very bitter about the situation his kids were put in. He is a very loving father and that is was attracted me to him. He was very open about his feelings towards his kids and now recently things have changed. He told me he was taking his kids on a trip for a tournament/vacation and when I nonchalantly asked if his ex wife was going he said no. When he got back he asked me to look for his credit card and when I opened up his wallet I found VIP cards to an amusement park for him, his kids and his ex wife. When I asked about it later he finally admitted he took her with them and they all stayed in the same suite. OK for me, it's not the fact that they stayed in the same suite because I TRUST him but WHY does he need to hide it? It makes him seem sketchy and when I asked why he hid it he told me he didn't hide anything and that I'm the 'crazy asshole' and that he is not going to deny his ex wife going to the events with them and that he doesn't need to tell me anything. Ok, before I feel like I am truly going nuts, am I the crazy one here? He doesn't invite me out with his kids and we have a very private relationship due to our age difference and his kids. He says it's my age and that's the reason why I can't understand him not telling me about the trips...I don't know what to do at this point.... |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:26 PM PDT |
Question: Can constant cheating accusations push someone away? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:14 PM PDT I was told many times by family that he does not love me, he is a cheater and i have felt like he was at times. So i constantly accused him. my grew resentment towards him ever since. I constantly checked his texts, facebook everything. I even put a tracker in his phone but nothing. He says i listen to people too much. Makes me wonder if somehow my family is not trying to drive him away from me. |
Question: Can you deserve to be hit ? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:08 PM PDT I've been married for 4 years,we lived in bc and my husband decided to move back to ontario to be close to his friends and family ...he found a house and we bought it ...we split the cost 50/50...we are doing complete renovation on the house.shortly after the reno started I started feeling like he's ignoring me and I can't get thru him... There's been things that didn't go according to plan and ice been dissatisfied with an outcome of a lot of things ... We argue a lot and he's nebsr on my side ,he eitger ignored my opinion of he's on the contractors side... He became friends with the guys working on the house and we don't spend sny time together.theres been several occasions when I've pointed out a few things that I didn't like and it would blow out in a huge argument on the job site ending in him hitting me in front of everyone ,calling me names and saying he wishes he had the money to pay me back and get me out of his life... He's hit me numerous times.we always make up and things get better for a while .hes convinced I deserve to be hit bcs I provoke and "ride" him as he says ... I'm not sure as what to do,I'm still clinging onto the last piece of hope that once the house is finished we will r happy again .could he have really changed so much due to the move ? Being around his friends more making him realize he doesn't want to be with me snymore ?? Could I really "deserve" to be hit for being too fussy about the house ?? |
Question: MY WIFE IS CHEATING ON ME HOW DO I FIND OUT? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 07:42 PM PDT |
Question: Answers from Divorced parents? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 07:25 PM PDT Why do some parents only want to spend a could hours a week with their kids ?? If they are local why not see them daily?? |
Question: I feel horrible! Accidentally/indirectly hurt my husband? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 06:32 PM PDT I had a Mirena IUD placed about a week ago. This morning my husband and i did the deed, and the mood was soon killed when one of the wire strings from the IUD "stabbed" him enough to make a little nick. I feel terrible! Suggestions on how to make it up to my husband since my stupid IUD hurt his junk? I feel so bad, it hurt him enough that he yelped |
Question: Do you feel responsible for your spouses happiness? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 06:08 PM PDT Do you take it personally if they are in a bad mood? Mainly directed at men about their wives, but women can answer too. |
Question: Husband leads me on for sex sometimes? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 05:19 PM PDT My husband kind of makes me feel bad sometimes he will lead me on during the day. He will grope and touch me in private areas while I'm doing something, cooking anything really and it of course leads expectations. I've never denied him sex even if I wasn't in the mood to begin with when he wants sex he gets it but when I go after him because he's spent all day teasing me I'll get an excuse and he goes to bed. He now says comments like "Are you going to make me feel bad for saying no" like I'm some sexual obsessed person. He can safely say no but don't lead me on all day thinking he wants me and he will do it for days in a row sometimes and then when he's ready for sex he just comes to the room and signals me and he gets to it. I feel really upset about the whole thing and I've tried telling him if you're not in the mood then at least don't spend all day teasing me like you are and make me feel like crap for asking for it. How do I get through to him that teasing isn't fair and I'm not trying to make him feel bad.. I just feel like he's always got some excuse our marriage is recovering from cheating he cheated on me for a year. He claims he stopped and it will soon be a year since he cheated but I don't know. I fear he could still be doing it so I never deny him but he's always denying me. He's tired or something Sometimes he will have sex with me twice in a week but more often then not we have sex once every other week. We do have children so most of the time he uses them as a excuse that they do make him tired or they are not in bed on time which is a good reason for those moments. Relationship wise we are better now because there is effort into the relationship we are happy as a couple but the whole sex thing is really just putting me off. |
Question: Is there spousal support if the parents were never married? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 03:35 PM PDT |
Question: Should I divorce my husband? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 03:01 PM PDT I decided to try to stay on, despite his horrible attitude.. previously I confronted him upon him finding other girls to chat (using apps) - which is,some of you might say it's okay but not for me, because he never once showed that he's married in real life and not once he ever used our photo together. So basically, he's acting like he's single, and not married. He's very friendly with his female friends. Once, I saw a pic of him putting his arm over his pretty colleague. He promised he will never do it again including less chatting, but just now, I took a peek in his new hp and there he goes again - installing other chatting apps,adding plenty of girls,acting single and asking the girls if he can know them better. When I married him, I lessen my contact with other guys,so why can't he do the same? And I confess my husband isn't really into sex much with me too. Even if I do initiate it, he would say that he's tired, sometimes we didn't even have any intimacy for a month. Now I can't bring myself to believe that he really loves me. I am a very soft hearted person and I have been very patient with his attitude, but my patience has been running thin. I have been considering divorce. Should I divorce him or should I stay on? |
Question: Why does my husband do this? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 02:58 PM PDT It seems like whenever we go out on a double date or group outing where there are either couples, he holds me just that much closer, or increases the PDA. Almost like he's showing off. I mean I love it, but I hope he's being affectionate because he cares, not out of wanting to one-up his buddies! Thoughts? |
Question: I wanted to know so I asked. Was that wrong of me? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 02:25 PM PDT My husband is a little upset with me right now. We're in counseling working on some issues because I found out about a year ago that he had a one night stand with a girl he met online. I'm having a hard time dealing with that. We've had very little sex since then simply because he refuses to try with me. He says that I can initiate as well. He said that's one reason he did what he did was because I don't like to initiate. But don't all men like sex? Well, anyway, I've been suspecting that he's been relieving himself in other ways and today when I got home from work there was a towel in the kitchen on top of our deep freezer with what looked like . . . . I sent him a text to ask him and he became irate saying that some things do not need to be asked. "If you suspect I did that then you didn't need to ask me cause all men do it and it's natural." He then goes on to say that it wasn't and he just cleaned up a spill in the kitchen and forgot to put the towel in the hamper. I'm frustrated because we haven't had sex in a few months and he told me to use the shower massage in the bathroom if I really needed to but the last thing he wanted to do was try to have sex with me because we both have done wrong in this marriage. Was I wrong to ask him about the towel? Wouldn't you want to know too? Yes, I have a sex toy in my nightstand by why should I use it when I have a husband on the other side of me? Do women do that too who have men? I'm a 44 year old woman so maybe I'm a little naive on certain things. |
Question: Anytime we have a disagreement, my wife reacts by temporarily taking her wedding ring off? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 02:23 PM PDT Until she is "over" it. This can be 5 minutes or it can be a day. But it's juvenile. When I've told her it bothers me she says "good" and that taking the ring off is therapeutic for her and helps her calm down and move on from whatever issue it is. But it bothers me, because it seems like an overreaction. My wife never yells or gets physically violent, she just hushes up and puts that ring in her pocket. So do I accept this or what can I do to change it? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 01:48 PM PDT I'm on a typical Mr. OverThink Yahoo! Answers rampage.... The way this goes is a say a bunch of things that may or may not be true (or maybe parts are true but the rest is exaggerated) and honestly I should stop and let this all blow over. But I'm not going to and I'm going to keep posting until Yahoo! tells me I can't any more... I'm hurt. And I had 4 hours of sleep. And it's Monday. Blah Mondays.... So for those who don't know me, I am VERY PROUD of being a special snowflake. What does that mean? I'm a rebel who is anti-culture, anti-Christian, anti-norms, anti-society, and anti-tradition. I do things MY way. Or rather, that's what I *think* I'm doing. Really, what I'm doing is a bunch of talking, and then my wife dominates me and makes me do things HER way (which in turn is the way HER parents did things)... And I got to thinking how can I make it so we don't do things HER way nor my way? Take the power away from BOTH of us? Do things as society expects us to?? I am anti-society, but I am beginning to become anti-wife since her way leads to her benefiting and everyone else having to sacrifice... And any time you tell her "no" she manipulates you into a yes since she is a stronger person emotionally. She can't get the logical win because I out smart her, but the emotional win she gets every time, and some how she can avoid logic (but I can't avoid emotional manipulation). So if I were to try to take the power out of BOTH of our hands, do you think it would fix things? Tried the respect thing but she doesn't care. She cares more about control: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150420085454AAzpHcK |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 01:35 PM PDT I'm on a typical Mr. OverThink Yahoo! Answers rampage.... The way this goes is a say a bunch of things that may or may not be true (or maybe parts are true but the rest is exaggerated) and honestly I should stop and let this all blow over. But I'm not going to and I'm going to keep posting until Yahoo! tells me I can't any more... I'm hurt. And I had 4 hours of sleep. And it's Monday. Blah Mondays.... So here's the truth the best I can give it to you. I talk to my wife about my thoughts every day on the way home from work. We discuss new ideas that I've come up with and new theories I have about life. Since we are not Christians, we have to discuss a lot so we know what we're going to do when certain things come up; after all, we are trying to do everything ourselves and not do anything by the books (not just my idea). So I talk to her EVERY DAY to tell her what I think and to use our time the best I can since we have a 45 minute ride... Some of the discussions are deep. No, most of them. And some of them have been about respect and about control and power and gender norms and intelligence and logic and reasoning and a whole bunch of stuff. But it seems that no matter how much I talk to my wife, she is stuck in a belief rut and she can't seem to get out of her parent's upbringing way of thinking. We agreed that our parents did things wrong, but after 13 years she still defaults to what she knows and doesn't try new things. How do I cope? |
Question: What is acceptable Facebook use for a married man? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 01:20 PM PDT Women can post about children, wine, crafts they or their kids do, what they cooked, what they ate, free gifts, romance, slut shaming, funny cat photos, selfies, and religion. But when a man uses Facebook, the netiquette rules seem to be blurred. So what would be acceptable behavior? If a man posts anything like the things I just listed then it is ignored. No likes. No comments. No anything. What is the socially acceptable behavior for married men? Or is Facebook just for women? |
Question: My mother in law wants to live with us :(? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 01:07 PM PDT My marriage is not doing well he is a addicted to golf since we got married and he drinks very heavy . 10 years now and we have just one daughter 8 years old . My Mil pushed my husband to live with us since we got married I could stop my husband but now my mother in law is in hospital with a big ulcera and my sister in law is pushing my husband to let the mom comes to live with us since our house is big. My mother is law is always criticizing me in front of my husband if the I left a light of the room turned on or how I handle my daughter so let her moving in would be a Recipe for disaster . Should I let her move in am I obligated to do it ? |
Question: I am in process of divorce. I used dating website.? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 12:59 PM PDT I used it after my spouse started divorce proceedings and we had mediation for divorce. Will it cause a problem for the final decision of divorce? I mean will his attorney use it to show I wasn't faithful because yet we have temporary orders we are still legally married, right Oh no, it was not for dating. My soon-to-be ex lived with a new gf before he filed for divorce so I needed my self-confidence back by hearing that I am still pretty. I haven't met anyone from dating website and don't have any will to date or marry again whatsoever... |
Question: Is my husband flirting with his female student? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 12:50 PM PDT My husband is a high school teacher. I have asked him before not to let female students know if he thinks they are cute or attractive because I believe that this crosses the line and is flirting. Am I over analyzing the below situation that just happened? My husband told me something funny happened at school. He mentioned that a kid I n his class can speak a foreign language. He asked the teen to say something in a foreign language. He then asked the him what he said. The kid responded "I said it was a beautiful day." My husband jokingly said "No you didn't." "You said that you thought Sally was cute." Of course, Sally IS cute and he said it so that she would hear it. Sally just looked and responded "Wait, what?" My husband just laughed. I got upset with him because I think this was his way of letting Sally know that HE thinks she is cute. I have yet to address it with him but when he told it to me I did not laugh. I did not want to start a fight so I just ignored the comment and went about my business. I think he knows I don't approve because for the last 24 hours he has been over-the-top affectionate. Should I just ignore it or should I bring it up to him? Am I being petty? When I was a student if my teacher made a comment such as that it would have made me uncomfortable knowing that the teacher found me attractive and verbalized it. |
Question: How do I overcome my wife's emotional manipulation? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 12:35 PM PDT Just happened twice today. She will demand something from me, I'll resist her, then she'll do this grin (not the troll face grin with teeth, but it might as well be it) that basically says "You can't get mad at me as long as I'm smiling at you". I think other people have described it as a "sh*t eating grin" knowing that she's getting under my skin but she's still getting her way anyways because her request wasn't unreasonable (it was just obnoxious). That's how she manipulates me most of the time actually. She knows what chains to jerk to make me do things. Possibly as a joke, she taught our daughter when she was 5, that if she ever wants to get her way she just has to say "Please, daddy, daddy, daddy, please" and fake cry. And when I didn't let that bother me she would tell me "You're not going to let our daughter cry are you?"... In the end, I would end up giving in to her, but this is NOT acceptable behavior and I don't appreciate her teaching our daughter that!!! Luckily she's 9 and doesn't do that any more, but now she thinks she can get what she wants just by pouting... My wife is also a covert feeler. Unless she's extremely angry, you will never know what my wife is feeling. She doesn't have ANY outward expressions of her feelings. So basically, she hides her emotions so I can't emotionally manipulate her back (should I ever want to). And when you tell her "no", she will guilt/shame you for not saying "yes". :( I'm falling back in my old habits again... For people who aren't used to a Mr. OverThink question: My wife and I get along great and I do love her, but she's a manipulative and controlling PITA. Today is just a bad day because I'm upset with her telling me what to do. I'm also upset that I have been trying for 3 months to establish a RESPECT BASED RELATIONSHIP with her and she just constantly uses rewards and punishments to get what she wants without respecting my opinion/belief/feelings/thoughts. I'm also on 4 hours of sleep so cranky. |
Question: Can two people from different states get married? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 12:30 PM PDT My girlfriend lives in PA, I live in NJ. We want to get married but we currently do not live together. Is it possible for us to get married while we do not live in the same state? |
Question: Should I give my hubby a chances to change ? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 11:37 AM PDT My hubby finally admit that he been a cold careless jerk and he wants to change that .. One problem is no sex for a year .. He suad he'll have sex with me but I'm afraid he won't . I'm just so use to him failing to have sex with me . I suad to hubby that I'm moving out if he keeps hurting me with his mistakes . He makes them everyday such as one is I needed a ride home from work but he reather stay at home on his *** and drink so he told me take the bus ... Then I bitched at him and his mom picked me up instead because he couldn't drive after drinking . Those kinds of mistakes really hurt me and I end up feeling resentment.. I ended up feeling so resentful and just want a divorce. No sex when I ask and beg , no caring about what I need . :(. It's s long story . Should I give him that chance to change himself for the better ? He also doesn't have enough relationship experience. He only date 3 girls in his life and I have a lot of experience. I dated 6 and study relationships. I'm 24 and he 25 I was so in love with him . I was blind to see who he really was .. Now I know who he really is ... Married for ten months . Know each other for a year and 7 months so far |
Question: Is it best to date and marry someone who has kids like you? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 11:29 AM PDT Is the best, thanks! |
Question: Together for 16 years and she NEVER initiates any type of sexual situation..? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 10:54 AM PDT As I stated we've been together for 16 years. We know every inch of each other's bodies, and no matter how I ask her or come at her she just will NOT initiate ANY type of sexual situation. I'm completely lost.. Idk what to do anymore. I feel like she doesn't even want me at all. Hell even every time I try to start something up or we actually do something, it almost feels like rape, because I get statements like this.. "Well come on. Let's go in here so I can get you off and get it over with." I myself get into everything and am the ambitious one of the two. So I'm the one to try to get her to do different things but all I get is an attitude when I do try to do stuff like that. Please please help... Ladies especially!! What is going on??? If you need more info feel free to ask. I'm not shy, I will tell you what you need to know. I just need to know what I'm doing wrong.... My heart is breaking and idk how much more I can take. I have 2 beautiful children with her and in my mind I could never leave, but I don't want to live in misery... 😔 |
Question: Can a wife leave her husband in the state of Missouri and ge child support? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 10:44 AM PDT |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 10:35 AM PDT |
Question: How do I trust my wife, she keeps lying? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 10:27 AM PDT My wife and I have been together for a year and a half now total and we just got married. First thing, just to clear this up, she is not cheating on me. We both work from home and are together 24/7 so there's no possible way The gist of it is since we got married 4 months ago, I've caught her lying on 3 separate occasions about her sexual past. I understand we both have pasts, that's not the issue, what's past is past, I just like knowing about it. I guess I'm weird that way 1st time, she got a text from a male friend. When I asked her who it was she told me it was "work". I then noticed her phone after she put it down and it most definitely was not work. I asked her about it later and she denied and denied and denied until finally she told me it was a friend inquiring about a sexual encounter she had (prior to our marriage) with a mutual friend. 2nd time, we found an old phone in the house. She claimed she didn't recognize it and that it must be one of her friends. I charged it and turned it on only to find extremely raunchy sexts between her and some mystery guy she never mentioned to me. At this point I'm finding it very hard to trust anything she tells me as truth and that if it happens 1 more time that would be it.. Well it happened again. I found a love letter she wrote to an ex that stated she was hooking up with him right up until we started dating. She told me she hadn't seen him in 2 years. I don't know what to do to trust her anymore. Please help Okay, before you answer this I want to make this clear. I am not searching for stuff behind her back. I am not going through her phone. I am not interrogating her with questions over and over again except for when she lied about who was texting her *during* out marriage which was clearly a problem. We each shared our number in the beginning of the relationship and after that she has herself told me stories. Then I come later to find out what she has told me is a complete lie. My question was, to be more clear, why is she lying to me about stupid stuff I don't care about. i.e. stuff that wouldn't cause any turmoil in our relationship. I don't care about who she slept with before me, what I care about is her just being honest with me in general. It just seems like she likes to make up stories more than just tell me real things. The phone that I went through she found, brought it to me, and asked me to charge it and look through it to find out whose it was as she didn't remember ever owning that particular phone. |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 10:23 AM PDT Everyone gets upset at me when I'm asking questions to the community about my wife because I'm such a turd and I paint her in a negative light. Well here's my wife as I *really* see her, tell me if you think I'm reaching a little too far and seeing things that I shouldn't. My wife seems to be to be a masculine woman. She has no interest in anything the gender stereotypes have imposed on her. She hates fashion, hates name brands, hates makeup, hates jewelry, hates "making a statement", hates formal dress attire, hates fitness, hates "looking cute", hates compliments, hates parties, hates being the center of attention, hates conventional ways of having fun like dancing, hates cooking, hates decorating, and ultimately she does not like romance/sex other than after (or during) reading a good trashy romance novel (girl porn). She is good at controlling money, controlling people's moods (people pleasing), knowing how to get "likes" on Facebook and do socially acceptable behavior, etiquette and other "charms" lessons, making arts/crafts, and she is good learning new things. She is an "introvert" and prefers to be alone with her computer and she is addicted to anything that gives her easy rewards (Candy Crush for example) with minimum amounts of effort. I used to see her as logical and a person who could be reasoned with, but I think I was projecting that on her. She seems to make all her decisions based on those social norms she mastered to please. Or am I wrong? If you can't derive anything about her emotional vs. logical bias from what I typed, what COULD you derive from all that? Should I be studying gender bias and apply it to her? Or should I try to treat her as an individual (like I have been) only to be frustrated when she treats me like "only a man'? If my wife is ignorant (as Mischa Smythe is implying) then that re-enstates my question. Am I giving her too much credit/respect for being logical? Also, what are tell tale signs that you are dealing with an ignorant person? P.S. --- I realize the feminine/masculine statement is going to rub some people the wrong way. It rubs me the wrong way too. But in my part of Michigan, this IS the norms. And if you don't do these things she "hates" then you are considered "not woman - maybe even bi". I live in an ignorant church suburban area. To many negative responses, must put question this is a follow up to so EVERYONE can see: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150420085454AAzpHcK |
Question: How do I stop my wife from wanting to let her Soul Glo? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 10:16 AM PDT My wife is from China and she just watched Coming to America for the first time last week. Since then she's been wanting to let her "Soul Glo" by getting a greasy jheri curl. I'm at work right now and I think she may be at the Mall getting it done because she won't answer my calls. How do I stop this from happening? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 09:39 AM PDT I'm giving up on this whole "respect/love" crap. I've tried it for 3 months now and my wife isn't buying it. I think she ENJOYS the power struggle. But lately, I've just been giving her the win to avoid fights and try to keep the relationship on a respect/love level, but she's just walking all over me. I've become a pushover and she is not afraid of pushing me over (over and over again). She transgresses non-stop and has to have it HER way or the highway. She tells me that I can have my own hobbies but then she delegates tasks to me like a boss would and tells me to do it. She refuses to see my worth except in how I make her life easier (and if I am not doing my role of making her life easier, then she nags me until I do)... So what kind of husband do you think my wife REALLY needs? Side note: I'm going to dumb down my questions from now on. I'm obviously using my brain too much. Maybe if I take up drinking and drugs I can kill my brain enough to endure and maybe even enjoy this watered down reality everyone else lives... Idealism aside. What kind of husband does she NEED to keep her in check? There are no authority figures over her and she isn't afraid of consequences because other people have more to lose than she does. And there's nothing more dangerous than a person who has nothing to lose; they'll act like they are playing a game of poker and go "all in" just to see if they will call their bluff. This question need to be read to know that I have tried to respect my wife but she doesn't respect me: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150420085454AAzpHcK |
Question: How can I make my wife love me again? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 09:34 AM PDT |
Question: No intimacy in marriage, never really was and I have pulled away? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 09:26 AM PDT I have been married to my husband for 15 years, no kids. We were never very loving and intimate with each other. Husband would want sex which I would give him, but not very often and with reluctance. I was never really into it, and when we were doing it I usually had to fantasise about someone else in order to enjoy it. I was attracted to him in the beginning but as soon as we moved in together I lost it. Rarely would we hold hands, or cuddle. I would ask him to give me a massage and he would refuse. I always enjoy going on vacation and spending time with him, laughing with him, but but there was no true closeness or intimacy. I have not reached a point where I fantasize about other guys all the time and I want that with someone. The thought of being intimate with my husband kind of makes my skin crawl as if I were to do it with a sibling. Before anything judges me harshly, I feel very guilty about these feelings. I have been in counseling (seen 3 counselors) and I feel like it confuses me more. I have discussed this with my husband and he feels I should not throw away a 15 year old marriage for a life of the unknown. What can I do at this pointn? meant to say I HAVE reached a point where I fantasize about other guys meant to say I HAVE reached a point where I fantasize about other guys |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 09:17 AM PDT Me and my wife are recently married and we have an issue we just cant resolve and it is causing us a lot of trouble. We both live about 1hr and 30min away from our moms, both of our dads passed away a few years ago. My mom is very ill and suffers from mutiple medical conditions and is always in a lot of pain. We were visiting our family every other week and recently told my wife that I would like to see my mom more often. I suggested a few hrs on sunday. She said that it unfair for our relationship because im putting others first and says it worthy of a divorce since I want to spend too much time with my mom. What would u guys do in my situation? |
Question: I think my wife is still talking/texting the person she had an affair with! What do I do? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 09:10 AM PDT |
Question: Is my husband verbally abusive? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 09:01 AM PDT My husband exhibits behaviors that are unacceptable and I believe to be a horrible influence on three elementary school aged children. The problem is he wants to work it out claiming these behaviors are just normal marital conflict. He says I'm abandoning my vows by not forgiving him and sticking it through. He can be very affectionate and loving and takes care of us, but.... These are the behaviors: yells and screams in my face, right in my face, and not during a fight. What I mean by that is I am remaining calm- no yelling or name calling coming from me. He calls me horrible names and curses at the top of his lungs. He insults me: calls me a liar, bad mother, bad wife, selfish, self-centered. He throws things, punches holes in walls, kicks doors. He will say he is wrong for losing his temper, but says it's because I do or don't do (you fill in the blank). I'm not allowed to express anger or frustration even in the respectful sense, although he expresses it while crossing major boundaries. He claims that he "takes care of me", but I do have a career and could support myself with A modest budget. Do you think these behaviors are normal or should be forgiven for the sake of the family? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:54 AM PDT I believe in Respect and Purpose as means of motivating someone and running a relationship. Any other means of motivation is either not going to work forever without intensifying the rewards/punishments. Science supports my belief, but society/culture doesn't. Need proof? See the video at the bottom that discusses many studies that prove that the "Carrot/Stick" methods of behaviorism just doesn't work in the long run - the carrot must always get bigger and the stick must always get sharper to motivate/control someone, until one day no carrots work and the stick no longer hurts. The control is gone. But just because I believe in respect/purpose, doesn't mean my wife does. And if both people don't share the same beliefs it will close communication and make this relationship FAIL... To convince her the authoritarian style doesn't work I've: shown her videos/data, had long discussions with her, shown her how it works in person, and I've even found fortune 500 companies that agreed that the reward/demerit systems they used to use are obsolete. But no amount of reasoning, logic, evidence, objectivity, scientific data, or talking has convinced her that this system works. She's admitted its a good system but then says "It will never work, you're just being an idealist" and dismisses the idea all together. I don't want to emotionally hurt my wife, but she can't boss me around any more. How would you put an end to this? The video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrkrvAUbU9Y |
Question: What is wrong with me :(? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:50 AM PDT Ok let's start by asking plz don't judge me... I'm a 25 yr old female..I lost my virginity when I was 19 to my husband so I never had intercourse with anyone but him.. My sex drive is out the roof I always want it 24/7 if I can't have it I masturbate to porn.. Before my husband came around I would have to masterbate multiply times a day..is this normal?? What's wrong with me?? I always hear about guys complaining that there wife doesn't want to make love..i never told my husband no and when he doesn't give me any I get upset..why am I not a normal female? |
Question: My wife wants to divorce me because she found out I'm an atheist please help? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:44 AM PDT my wife found out I'm an atheist and she became something I'm completely scared of, she wants to file a divorce and doesn't want me to see our son. My stupid friend told her all of it, to be honest I don't care if she's religious we love each other dearly it just sucks she can't accept my point of view about all of these. I'm crying as I'm typing this I know it's not good for a man to cry but forgive me I'm just heartbroken that the love of my life the woman I sacrificed everything is hurting me mentally...... What should I do can you guys give me an advice I don't have anything to go as I don't have money and she's the one who supports me ever since I got both of my legs crushed last year in a vehicular accident as I'm going to work, I really feel betrayed. She slapped me really hard that my lower lips bleed and she wants me to not let our child be influenced by me in terms of the atheist point of view and I agree to her as it doesn't really matter for me because I don't want to to her and my son. Please give an advice for this. |
Question: Do you consider this appropriate behavior? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 08:29 AM PDT My husband is Italian and is very handsome and affectionate. He grew up in Boston and I grew up in the South. We now live in Boston. Every time he sees a female friend in public, he'll give her a hug and a kiss. Alot of these women flirt with him on Facebook, calling him baby, sexy, handsome etc. I can understand having female friends but I think it disrespects our marriage when this happens. I don't think he'd like it if I greeted my male friends in the same manner. We always have an argument when this comes up. In June, we are having a Boston Italian reunion and I can just imagine the scenario at the reunion. Should I just look the other way or do I do the same thing? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 07:17 AM PDT |
Question: How can a person have sex with the same person for the rest of their life? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 07:16 AM PDT I wonder how do some people remain married for so long with the same person till death.Don't they get bored.It's like eating same food again and again or watching same movie multiple times. |
Question: If my parents oppose that I take my wife's family name at marriage,what to do? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 07:07 AM PDT I am a guy ,age 25, my lady is 31. We are about to get married,and for some reasons I will take my wife's family (last) name when we get married, but my whole family bitterly oppose this. I am so upset and nervous,I cannot sleep at night ,don't know how to handle this situation?? |
Question: My wife lied to me about a past relationship? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 07:06 AM PDT After my wife divorced her first husband, it was rumored that she became involved with his best friend. I asked her about it several times and she always denied it, saying they were "just friends" . Well the topic came up again recently (her ex husband is telling everyone) and so I asked her about it again and she finally came clean. She says it is something she's very ashamed of and didn't want anyone to know, that she was hoping to just leave it in the past. I am very hurt that she lied to MA about it on several occasions. I don't really care that it happened, it was a long time ago, and that's her business. But I am very hurt that she lied to me. How would you feel? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 06:52 AM PDT Things I've learned about control: * People who are being controlled often don't know they are being controlled if it is done properly * People who are controlling others truly believe the means justify the extremes * People who are controlling will often use the controlled person's emotions against them (need for love, hope, sex, etc) * Very few people are in a relationship, job, school, church, or community where controlling others isn't present - they are almost all designed with the top down mentality * Control has everything to do with dominance/obedience so people can follow YOUR dream. No one else can dream, no one else can win, no one else can dominate * Power and control are highly sought after, but very few people who gain it know how to use it properly So here's my issue. My wife and I have INCOMPATIBLE beliefs. I believe in respect/dignity (with the help of you here on Y!A and Ted Talks), and even though I've shown her an enormous amount of data/science proving that control (dom/sub, alpha/beta, carrot/stick, etc.) only produces codependency and it HINDERS productivity, she continues to use it against me and the children. Today I've confronted her about it. At first she wanted to change subjects asking me why I couldn't just do as I'm told, then I finally got her to confess that she believes controlling others is the only way to get (her) things done. Now what? |
Question: Why am I feeling so homesick? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 06:51 AM PDT I'm 28 years old and just got married last year. Before I met my husband I was very independent and I worked and supported my 2 children on my own and never had to rely on anybody. I was a waitress at a casino and made more than enough money to get by on and never struggled. I stayed single because I loved my freedom and didn't enjoy all the complications and stress that came along with a relationship And I was that way from the time I was 17. Well 2 years ago I met my husband and we hit it off and I was unsure of what I wanted and we were kind of back and forth. I came to the conclusion that I was going to be with him. I needed the stability and the kids also did also. He was and is very good to us. We have problems but who doesn't? We recently moved from out hometown where I grew up to 300 miles away. Its been 2 months and I'm so homesick. I havnt went and seen my family yet because we don't have the funds. He doesn't want me to work. He wants me to stay home . I miss my hometown and I miss my freedom. I miss working and providing for myself. We are always struggling. Never have money to do anything. I was really into fitness my whole life and havnt gone to the gym In a long time because he doesn't wanna pay for a gym membership. I've gained like 15 lbs.Is it normal to feel this way. I feel like I'm being held back from what I wanna do. I guess I was so used to the way I was for so long and my whole life turned around so quickly. Every aspect of my life changed. Selfish???? |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 06:35 AM PDT Ok I've been kinda crabby with my husband lately and I wanted to stop and do something for him to let him know I'm sorry and that I love him. Could anyone give me some ideas on what I could do?? |
Question: My wife refuses to have a budget? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 05:16 AM PDT We have a baby coming this summer, and so I suggested that we need a family budget. We keep our checking accounts separate, so a budget for her and a budget for me. One that allows us to save for new items, baby costs, and pay down our debt. My wife totally refused, said "I don't need a budget" and said that her budget is all in her head. I know for a fact that she hasn't paid any of her debt down in 5 years, in my opinion, her way doesn't work. I've paid down 3K in credit card debt in a year. I'm afraid when the baby comes, all expenses will be on a credit card. When I try to get my wife to talk about a budget she gets extremely upset and says "Don't talk to me". What can I do? |
Question: How do you make separation easier? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 05:11 AM PDT My husband and I are splitting. But its hard. I love him and I don't wanna see him with anyone. I feel as if the their girl has won. He keeps coming back and claiming he loves me. But defends her. How can I make separation easier, all I do is cry. He's the father of my children but has her pregnant. I need to get away. |
Posted: 20 Apr 2015 05:11 AM PDT I am in an indifferent, complacent, status quo relationship with my wire. She controls the household through nagging, sarcasm, and wit. Until last night I didn't realize she was the one in control because I delusionally believed that (like the most you of you) that a "partnership" was possible. In reality, a partnership can NEVER exist. Why? Because the minute you stop fighting your spouse for control over the relationship, or the family, or the household, or the bills, they sneak in behind you and take it over when you aren't looking or consciously aware of it... And after the person maintains control for a certain amount of time, they feel entitled to it. So when you become smarter and take it away from them (at least the part where they control you) they whine, moan, complain, and they use ANGER to regain control over you. This is where I'm at. I thought I was in control of me but I was constantly "asked" to do "favors" for my wife that she never returned/reciprocated. I am nothing more than an object in her life and an extra set of hands. Now, there is a chance that NONE of this is true and this is just how I woke up this morning (4 hours of sleep), but I feel like the only reason there isn't a power struggle in my marriage is because I have surrendered...... But how do I know for sure this is the case? What are tell tale signs that I'm not just being moody/emotional? How do I know that I'm being controlled through my wife's anger? How would I find out if I'm naive? |
Question: Why change cars when hers is running fine? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 05:06 AM PDT My wife has this idea that we should change cars for certain situations. We both drive 2004 vehicles. Hers is a '04 Kia Optima and mine is a '04 Mercury Mountaineer. We recently put a lot of money into her car to fix a few things that were starting to fail. Nearly $2k later she still seems to find every squeak and squeal as a sign it's about to die on her even though it's running fine. Her son, my step son is away at his first year of college and he needs to be picked up in a few weeks. A few weeks ago he was riding with a friend and the friend got pulled over for speeding. Apparently,the friend didn't want to get another ticket so they switched seats and my step-son took the ticket so he's gotta go back to his college town (some 2.5 hours away) to go to court. My wife thinks I should take the day off again to drive him back up there. I told her that he's 19 now and knew fully what he was doing so let him figure out how he's going to get to court. I can't keep taking days off for his stupidity. My wife takes that as a sign that I don't care about her son. No, she likes to bail both her sons out of their messes and refuses to let them grow up. Her oldest is 20 years old and is already a convicted felon. Back to the question: My wife and I got home last night from a weekend trip for our anniversary and my truck handled great until we pulled into the driveway. 10 minutes after getting home the check engine light came on. I took it to a place that ran the code and I have a faulty EGR valve. Simple repair but the part is going to cost about $115. I told my wife I wasn't taking the day off to take my step-son to court and she said, "fine, just let me take the truck." She knows I don't like her driving my truck because my step-son's college is in the mountains and she is scared to drive in the mtns. She doesn't want to drive her car for fear it may break down but she'd rather drive my car in an unfamiliar area. She's ready to argue me tooth and nail over driving my car to take her son to court. Someone suggested that I should just give her my car if that's going to make her feel safer. No, her car is small and I'm getting older and it takes me some effort to just get in and out of her car. I recently bought that truck cause my car was totaled in a wreck and a female friend of mine told me that a nice husband would give the wife the new car and he'd take the old one. That's a load of BS. My car gets totaled in a hit and run accident but she's the one who gets the replacement? I don't think so. She just doesn't want to drive her car . . . even though she drove it up there once before with no problems. |
Question: Why change cars when hers is running fine? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 05:06 AM PDT My wife has this idea that we should change cars for certain situations. We both drive 2004 vehicles. Hers is a '04 Kia Optima and mine is a '04 Mercury Mountaineer. We recently put a lot of money into her car to fix a few things that were starting to fail. Nearly $2k later she still seems to find every squeak and squeal as a sign it's about to die on her even though it's running fine. Her son, my step son is away at his first year of college and he needs to be picked up in a few weeks. A few weeks ago he was riding with a friend and the friend got pulled over for speeding. Apparently,the friend didn't want to get another ticket so they switched seats and my step-son took the ticket so he's gotta go back to his college town (some 2.5 hours away) to go to court. My wife thinks I should take the day off again to drive him back up there. I told her that he's 19 now and knew fully what he was doing so let him figure out how he's going to get to court. I can't keep taking days off for his stupidity. My wife takes that as a sign that I don't care about her son. No, she likes to bail both her sons out of their messes and refuses to let them grow up. Her oldest is 20 years old and is already a convicted felon. Back to the question: My wife and I got home last night from a weekend trip for our anniversary and my truck handled great until we pulled into the driveway. 10 minutes after getting home the check engine light came on. |
Question: How would you interpret this husband/wife relationship? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 04:55 AM PDT The wife is a close family member of mine. Her husband is cheap and selfish on a regular basis, even while pregnant even though he's well off. Its just with her too. For instance she wanted to go to lamaze class for bonding plus she had a very bad first delivery. She also wanted their basement to host the baby shower. he denied her the shower location and I had to go with her to lamaze even though he was free and I lived very far away. he keeps making up selfish excuses like i have a friend coming over that day or you didnt give me enough notice. do you think this is acceptable behavior? It's really bothering me b/c I don't think that is love. |
Question: Help me tackle this situation!? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 04:32 AM PDT Hi all.. My hubby is very close to his family.. I don't get along well with his mom and the time when I am with them,it's painfully boring. So we have this wedding coming up so we need to travel to my in laws.. He is my hubby z cousin.. The wedding is on 24th and we are leaving on 23rd.. Now my hubby wants us to stay there till 1st of next month.why? I dunno.. Also the climate there is easily 45 degrees.. My in laws doesn't hv air conditions and I hv to kids (9 months old and 3.5 yrs old) .. Now I really don't want to stay there for so long because- 1) it's annoying and I can't stand his family for 8 days.. 2) the weather and no AC ? Omg! How will the kids manage I hv tried to tell my hubby that the plan is silly but he won't listen.. Wt to do? |
Question: Am I doing the right thing by staying with my husband? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 04:29 AM PDT I think he'd be better off without me, because I am mentally ill and have weird paranoias, and because I can't tell what's real and what's not a good chunk of the time. I do not do drugs. I'm afraid I'm bad for him. I've tried to leave him a few times but he always talks me into staying. I don't abuse him and am against the idea, but I'm afraid my words have been abusive in the past and the result of long-term mental illness. Put me in a home? Smh. I may be mentally ill, but I'm still competent enough to take care of myself. |
Question: What cause the usual increase in the hip of a married woman and how can it be controlled? Posted: 20 Apr 2015 12:13 AM PDT |
Posted: 19 Apr 2015 11:03 PM PDT I married for all the right reasons, I wanted to grow old together, make memories, enjoy grandchildren as grandparents, just be your rib as God designed. Nothing in life is perfect, YOU LACKED IN AREA'S THAT NEEDED WORK, OR COULDN'T BE IMPROVED AT ALL, Like we as people are, When your Wife loved you from her HEART ONLY, the eyes see no Flaws in her Husband, she see no want or need to desire ANYTHING FROM ANOTHER MAN, If she needed anything, she came to YOU. Every day that passes without her Husband in her life, is another day of LOVE gone from his Wife. Divorce in motion....But wasn't it easier to simply Ask God to open your eyes and heart to what he's already given to you, and help us to enhance what we have, so there's less focus on what you don't have? God gives us everything that we NEED, problem is when we WANT more than what we have been blessed with. It's nothing wrong with having "wants" the needs are most important, everything else takes a place in the backseat. Every man needs a good woman as his wife, no matter his status in life. |
Posted: 19 Apr 2015 10:16 PM PDT Me and my wife have been seperated for a couple of months we stopped having sex but we have decided to try and work things out so we have started to have sex again the first time she was about normal as far as tightness but I have had to go out of town for work and she has gotten looser noticeably different does this mean she is screwing another dude or is it normal for it to change tightness |
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