so I loss my job and asked my wife to finally get a real job once and for all to help with expenses while I look for work and get back on our feet. Now we moved into her fathers empty house and she went on welfare instead of her looking for work. She now feels since we're living at her dads house rent free and she's getting state assistance that's all she has to 'do' and tells me she's doing her part by living in a house rent free and going in welfare but her dad looks at me and treats me like I'm a piece of crap because I don't pay him rent because I can't and being on welfare is no way to live a productive life. I'm trying to find employment and look daily but I wish my wife would look for work as well so we can get on our feet faster and I feel like my life is going nowhere and like a piece of crap. I'd rather pay rent and not be on aid but wife is content doing nothing and says she's the one supporting the family. I feel that as soon as I get a job I just wanna divorce. Is this a good reason for divorce? I'm living with someone who will do anything not to have to work and she has been extremely lucky at the same time it's no way for respectable people to be content with.

I thought she was totally over him. They were serious for years, longest relationship she's had besides ours. He's very successful. My wife is very smart but her ex went to top schools and she said he's the smartest person she's ever met. But he also started using drugs and he cheated on her and started being controlling and that's why they broke up. They wound up by some chance having to work together. They work in the same field, for different organizations. She said that they got everything worked out nicely but he was also being intentionally difficult. She said that after they were finished, things started getting personal. He called her all kinds of nasty things. Like he said she was a wh*re for being with someone and stupid and overly emotional and basically threw cheating on her in her face. They'll never have to work together again. She comes home and freaks out, crying over the fact that he's still on drugs and how stupid he makes her feel, etc. So I wound up comforting her and telling her I understood and everything was okay but really I don't. Who wants to comfort their wife over another man. It's been years. I think she still has feelings for him or else she wouldnt have gotten so upset and that makes me extremely uncomfortable and even suspicious of her. Is she ever going to get over him and does this mean she loved him more than she loves me?

When you have sex, do you and your spouse turn the tv or an iPod or anything on? We have my husband's friend living in our basement (I know that sounds ironic) while he is awaiting his next deployment, and i don't want him hearing… uh anything. Is it weird to put on a little background noise?

me and my fiance live together and we have a one year old recently my mother asked that she may possibly come and live with us for 30 days while they get her apartment ready my fiance says that he will move out during that time because the apartment is already crowded am I crazy or is that like really extremely what is your advice and what would you feel about your spouse if they do the same thing?

Would he live in KSA, his birthplace? Surely not as there are no strip clubs/concubines/sex slaves over there! And he wouldn't want to live in any Islamic country as there is very little pu$$y in those as well. So what do you think. Would he, like 95% of Muslims, try to immigrate to the West for a better life? Would they even give him a visit visa??

Husband and I have been together since we were in high school. All along, we kept saying that we didn't want kids. But now suddenly, he's saying he does want to have kids and will actually feel unfulfilled without them. He's talking about how it's the natural way of things and he loves me and it will be an extension of the love that we have for each other. I love him very much and I understand marriage requires compromise and he's compromised a lot for me, too. I wouldn't want him to miss out on happiness. I also like children. I didn't want to have them because I was miserable essentially raising my much younger brother growing up. We actually don't talk speak now that we're older. But, my husband explained that this will be different. We'll be doing this together. I am somewhat concerned that maybe he has baby fever because all or his friends are starting families so maybe he's confused about what he wants. We agreed that if we do have a child, we'll have one. I was happy growing up without a sibling until I was 10. And with activities, friends, cousins and two parents, we don't think we'll have to worry about our child being lonely or lacking social skills. Also agreed to wait a month before trying to make sure it's really what we want. But do you think a month is enough time to think it over? I'm 33. Women in my family conceive quickly. My grandmother was one of thirteen, my mother one of 4. Mom had my brother in her 40s but I'd like to have a baby before age 35.

I connect with my wife on a mental and emotional level and even a philosophical level and to me that is as good if not BETTER than sex, romance, and artificial/superficial "common interest" relating. But judging on all my discussions on here, it seems like this kind of relating is very rare. Most of you can't stand your spouses and only tolerate them because they provide you something (sex, money, status, shelter, food, etc). So why is it you can't relate to your spouse on the same intellectual level or same emotional level? Why do you keep your distance from them EXCEPT when you have needs that need to be met?

Because that seems to be your attitude here.

Yes, there would be fewer times you'd have sex with each other because you both would rarely want it at the same time, but holding out for that very special occasion will END the addiction to sex in your brain. So when your brain no longer depends on sex for stimulation, it will begin to be special to you again since each moment will be special. Could you live this way? Why or why not? If you don't like sex, answer this question from the perspective of romance then. If you had only ONE romantic day every 3 months, could your relationship survive? Why or why not?

My sex life with my spouse has gone very stale, any ideas on how I can seduce or romance her better?

I landed my dream job a few months ago, but I think I have to leave. My partner at work is a man. A married man. A former athlete, actually. Who I have (unfortunately) fallen hard for. He is handsome, successful, smart, hilarious, practical everything I would want in a guy. And I know that he is married and have tried to keep my head clear and ignore my desires. See the issue is he has confessed to me that he is "stuck in an unhappy marriage for financial reasons" and it's like someone is dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit, you know? I feel like I would never pursue him, but if he ever made a move on me I wouldn't stop him... and it's killing me to realize that. I feel like a terrible person. So should I leave the job? I'm 23. He's 34. I didn't think that mattered but if that helps...

Can sex stay good in marriage? Has it stayed good in your marriage? If you can have sex with only one person does that mean sex will inevitably become dull?

And when you do go to extremes, are you going to extremes because you want to WIN the argument, you don't want to LOSE the argument (winning doesn't matter), or you just want to be understood and then repent for the conflict in the first place? Bonus question(s): Has there ever been a time that you needed your spouse to understand you and they didn't? How did you feel after the mis-communication?

Hey y'all, I'm engaged and getting married in June, so I'm going through pre-marital counseling. My fiancé and I were asked to list some of our differences, and I'm really struggling! I feel like we're so much alike. I'm interested to see what other relationships are like and maybe get some inspiration for differences in my relationship that I may be overlooking :) Thanks!

I stay at home with my two boys my husband and I both agreed that is what is best for now. I'm just wondering does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do to work from home I am willing to do anything and would be greatfull for any advice.

I thought I loved him enough that I would try to give him the 2 kids he always wanted. After the first one I was like- no way. Not two this is not for me. He told me if I didn't have the second baby he would basically stayed married, but resent me forever. So...after a long time arguing my side I have in. Two babies now. Just feels like he got everything he wanted at my expense. I figure I gave him the kids he wanted and he'a got a house. He could have almost everything he wanted even if I leave. Is that the wrong way to think? This is just not the life for me. I'm miserable and resentful and I feel awful the kids have to see that. Would it be better to just suck it up or should I leave and at hope that when they do see me at least I'm not miserable around them? @madoka; I feel bad for him too. Thought I could just chew it back and deal with it. I am totally a piece of s***. @ Mrs. Phay. That's how it feels. There was a lot of pressure to get married and I just have into it. At 20. Now I feel like I know myself, and looking around I just wish I knew this earlier and saved everyone a lot of issues I guess my worry is: my mom got pulled into the same thing. I realize now I did it too. Growing up all of us just felt bad for her and thought she was weak for not leaving. Do I stick it out like she did just because? Like Ryde,on said? Oh sorry undervalued! Just saw your reply edit. Yeah, it might be the baby blues. But that's got me; I know what kids entail which was why I was so against having two. He acts with them like his dog. Ill take care of you when its convienent. I have sat back and watched him play video games after i asked him to feed our oldest for three hours. Then when i get up and fees the poor guy- Im mean because I dont trust him to take care of his kids. Undervalued I know you think I'm awful, but I am so thankful for your reply. I have a job, but I think you're right. Maybe an hour to myself would be nice to have every once in a while. I enjoy working its this awful mentality of (why am i working so hard for something you wanted much more than I?) Like i said awful, but im being honest. Thank you for everything maybe if i spoke up more instead of grumbling on here i would get further haha Also more hugs! You're amazing

Married with 4 kids and husband moved out6 months ago for the second time. Could you ever trust someone again after they have lied you uou about some big things for your whole marriage. I have tried for last couple months but I feel like it just gets worse especially now since his mom called me and said I'm the horrible person because I can't forgive him. He has hidden everything financially, forged my name on taxes, talks to exes, gambeling and me not knowing, threatened me in every way with kids and house etc. and now somehow he says I deserved all of it and it's all my fault.

A little survey if you will... 1. How would you react if you were being intimate with your spouse, his or her phone rang, and they decided to stop the action and go retrieve the phone? Has this ever happened to you? 2. Do you believe couples should have the same model of phone, and share passcodes so there are no "secrets?" 3. Do you or your spouse use the phone during meals?

Is it my fault that sex is bad? Me and my husband got married at 16 and have been together 8 years. Before we got married sex was great but as soon as the papers were signed and we were married it got really bad. He wants to all the time still but it never last more than two to five minutes. Its good while it lasts but I'm always left unsatisfied I've tried talking with him but it just upsets him and me in the end and we never get anywhere. He refuses any council or therapy due to forced therapy as a child and we talk to a so called doctor but all he had to say about it was that my husband was bored. I've tried everything I could think of and nothing helps. Please help me been 7 years with no orgasm.

I have an ex who hasn't been around our children in years due to his addiction and prison terms. Recently now that kids are teens he has been around more. Throughout all the years I have always allowed kids to keep contact with him as well which he now manipulates and brain washes kids to think I never did. My boys are now teens and he continues to play victim and they defend him to no end almost pulling completely away from me. He has never helped with them and still doesn't, he never follows through with any agreement I try to make with visitation. He comes up with excuses and never takes responsibility for his life and actions. He blames me for his addiction he blames someone else.for going to jail he hates cops because they are after him. He never works for anything his mother buys him everything including brand new motorhome, car and all the newest tech items. He takes from all of us whenever he can and manipulates the situation to benefit him. I guess I wonder when the kids will ever see what he is really about. I know they are at an age where they start pulling away from me but I know the only way my ex can burn me is to make sure the boys hate me. My ex takes them around all his doper friends, which really is against his current parole. He will lie and say he doesn't but I'm not stupid. He is teaching his kids to lie and I worry that he will bring them down the same path as him as narcissistic people feed on the lives of others and can't be lonely. Is there anything I can do to create a healthier boundary? Every time I try setting them he doesnt follow them. They have to see that doesn't respect me so they don't respect me at times either. Its very difficult.

considering hotel walls are thin :(

A. Having sex B. "Making love" Is there a difference? What is it? Please discuss!

So it's been four months since we ve been married we are both 19. Now before y'all all go on a rant about how young we are and what not...don't. We found each other young however I'm assuming the ecstasy of marriage has warn off cause every week she goes home to her moms which is an hour and. A half away. She stays there days at a time. She uses the excuse that she goes down there to work but when I ask to look for a job close to our new home she tells me to worry about myself. She's also pregnant so emotions are high. I'm still in school so I'm not home much during the day. So she uses that against me as well. She says that she needs somebody who cares enough to be around her more. So yea basically what I'm saying is she still puts her parents before me and it have a problem with that am I wrong?

The reason why I have a problem with it is because prior to us getting together, he was involved with someone who was arrested for prostitution..keep in mind that it doesn't matter how old the woman is he is with as long as she is responsible. he mentioned this is not someone that he would have around our daughter. I don't understand why he would be with someone he dosent even trust around our daughter..we have been separated for 2 months..what should I do? Should I worry or just don't do anything at all?

My boyfriend proposed to me today and I'm 5 months pregnant, we were discussing baby names and he said Hayley. I've never really cared for the name so I said no. Later tonight I found out it was his ex finances name and his high school crushes name. He's been engaged twice and married, should I be worried that he's obsessed with his exs or has commitment issues?

Manipulation is really just a negative way of saying "to motivate". If I want my wife to cook dinner since I'm not in the mood to, I am going to manipulate her to do it since I refuse to do it and I don't want to argue with her over why I'm not doing it. We all do it. It is our ability, as an individual, to exert power on the other person. This isn't a dom/sub thing, this is just trying to "get your way" without a discussion. And this isn't immature or childish either, this is how normal social creatures treat each other. Nagging your husband to take the trash out or to go to the store or to get his feet off the table is manipulation. You are using the power of nagging as a way to manipulate your husband to act differently than he currently is acting. Withholding sex. To a person who believes that sex is necessary for a happy marriage, the non-believer can use that as a weapon and get what they want. And then we use the Christian believe "Give and Take" as a bribery to get them to do work for you. "Stop putting your feet on the table and I will give you head". Quid Pro Quo. It can be a positive thing too. Attention seekers (man or woman) yearn for attention; so if you starve them unless they do something you like then you can manipulate them to only do what you like so they can get the reward (which is your attention). This doesn't work on people with a brain. But it works on people who were trained to be this way. So how do YOU manipulate your spouse? How does it work?

My husband and I been married for 10 months and we got a few problem but working on it . Hubby and I live with his parents . Today mother in law told us she tired of helping us : bills , food and more . She tired of our drama ( things happening in our life's ) She in her 60s. I wanted to move out of in laws house for over a year now but Edward ( hubby) doesn't want to .. He wants me to stay . I am the reason why mother in law is so stressed out . I'm 24. I want to move in with my dad for a week then find a nice place to live . I have a job and good income. $ $700 a month is my income . What do I do ? Stay and work things out or move out and live independently? If I stay , I would be so scared of my mother in law and I'll even cook in my room . While I try to fix relationship with hubby . Then I do her favors as well even if there not my problem.. Clean up her mess , clean up house etc. What will make me happy is moving out and living independently with hubby . What will make hubby happy is living with his parents and dealing with there favors , behaviors and lectures. He wants me to stay .. I'm a sensnstive person . Is it true ? If he loves me he'll follow me ? Or if I love him I'll live with sadness and pain with him ?