Hi, I am 22 years old guy & my sister is in a relationship with a guy who's my dads age (in his mid fifty's). He owns his own business & his very wealthy. She left her boyfriend who was stable for him. After seeing a lot of younger women with way older guys I like to ask you (laddies) a personal question & why? Would you be in a relationship with a guy you age (or a few years older) who makes to get by & stable? Or a guy twice your age who's successful & has a lot of cash? Thanks & be honest....

Two years ago, I met a man who we eventually formed a friendship - after 5 months he asked if I could marry him. I declined because I wasn't in favourable circumstances at that time. However, we remained friends because we study together, and he once said that he wants to be with me forever. We kept being in touch but unlike before, he became a bit distant because of my refusal, and I started to have feelings for him and miss him. Now after 2 years, yesterday I finally told him that I am ready to be in a romantic relationship - and expressed my feelings to him. He was nice about everything, then he said that now, he would like to be my friend, and we'll see how it goes in the future. He wants to hang out more in a few days as friends. Honestly, I'm glad that I told him how I feel, but I'm a bit hurt about his response even though he was really nice about it. He reacted the same way I did when I declined the marriage offer - but this time I offered him a romantic relationship, and he acted the way I did, and he said that right now he's focusing on other things and would like to be my friend and have me in his life, because I make him happy and feel good, as he said. I am upset honestly, but, this is what happened. When a guy does that, what does it actually mean?

Ok.You people keep saying money... but give me an example of your arguments with your spouse please. Thanks.

My husband does his best to get on my nerves. I filed for divorce last October but decided against at the very last moment. I REGRET MY DECISION. Whenever he gets on my nerves, I laugh at him, in turn making him more upset. He has cheated in the past. Why is he trying to make me upset instead of happy? Does he resent me and possibly cheating or wanted to cheat?

We recently moved across the country. The reason had to do with me and not her so the fact she came with me instead of protesting really shows me she loves me. That being said, I feel as if she doesnt need me for anything other than the majority bill payer and the sitter for our son when shes working her job. I try to cuddle with her while she watches tv and is very unresponsive. Whenever I kiss her multiple times in a night, she just looks at me and jokingly asks why am I obsessed with her. Ive tried having conversations about her lack of intimacy towards me and it usually starts a big fight without any resolution. I love her more than anything and my love grew more when she gave birth to our daughter. I know she loves me and appreciates me, but she acts like she no longer needs me. She hasnt initiated sex with me in years and is perfectly content going a month or two without it. When we do finally get to, I make it so much about pleasing her, she forgets to try to make it about me and I sometimes feel even worse afterwards. We fight very little, except when I bring this topic up and when I do, we both get very defensive, upset, and no resolution comes. Please help me understand my wife ladies.. Ive never used a public forum for help.. thank you.

My wife and I literally can't stand each other. She became a lot more demanding after we got married, none of my hard work was every good enough for her, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. We've been sleeping in separate rooms for about a month now. So I went and met with a lawyer the other day. After that she told me to pack my stuff and get out. Today Steph texts me and goes "I can't and won't live without you" but why? We make each other miserable. She also texted "sorry I've let you down but I miss you. You can come home now"

I have been wanting to move back home which is in a different state, but my husband does not want to. We both work and have three kids together. But that's all we have there is my husband's side of the family here but we hardly see them and friends well don't have any. Our lives are going good here but I can't help but miss it back home where all my family and friends are whom are still all there for eachother. My husband fears it will set us back plus where we live now is where he grew up. There are no cousins here for my kids to grow up with and even with my husband and kids here with me I still feel alone, almost like a black sheep here I'm not like others so it's hard to make friends. Sometimes My husband and i get into an arguement when i bring up moving back. What do I do?

I met my ex husband when I was sixteen we dated for a year or two then he moved I lost track of him for two years then he wrote me on MySpace we talked on there of about two months. Then he came to see me well a year went by he moved in later on I had his first child the we got married it was hard I caught him cheating on me two Times what I mean by cheating is meeting up with the girl but never having Sex so he says, texting women And so on, well I still was with him then I would kick him out when this happens. And he would tell his family crazy lies to cover up what he did. Well I went through That for six years then he did something Very bad to me and I was force. To divorce him by my family and pastor I wanted to work on us but I was not in my right frame of mind he went to prison for a year. And I was paying for him meals etc.. His mom would go up to see him and talk bad about me to him it was all bad be every week I wrote. Him helped him , he then got out and his mom called Child Protective Services on me bbecause he don't won't him around me I have helped him in a lot of things jobs lifting him up when people told him he could not do it. I want to know why is it so hard for me to let go he wants to work it out with me I know I let people in my life and I shouldn't have and I omit I was wrong listening to people and trusting people and letting them in my marriage. Why can't I let go ????? I have three boys and I am pregnant with a girl with him what should I do ??

I have been married to the same awesome woman for 15 years. We have 4 kids together ages ranging 6-14. We were both each other's first serious relationships, starting to court at 25 years old and marrying at 28. And we didn't even have sex until our wedding day. Since then I've grown a lot inside and see the people and world completely differently than when I was first dating her. Starting four years ago after a miscarriage I started not feeling happy in our marriage and it hasn't really changed. We aren't the same type at all on almost anything. She has a completely different philosophy on things. And worse, we dont' share any excitement in our relationship anymore. It's all just sort of mechanical. When I try to break free and make it more exciting she doesn't reciprocate. (But since we're so different, that only makes sense, right?) I have met at least two women in my work and private life who I've felt way more connected with. I didn't have affairs with them--we were just friends. But they made me feel much more happy when I was with them and they seemed so into me and one even hinted that she wished I wasn't married. I don't know what to do. I could just stay married and try as I have the past 14 years to try to pretend my wife is my soul mate. But she and I just don't share the same love and joy for life. Divorce would be tricky because I only make $40 a year and with four kids, I work full time and can't afford to maintain s second residence and daycare.

she was she was sexually molested and I don't mind the attack that much but iam more worried if the sperm from the attacker can have a effect on my and her kid if we ever decide to marry and conceive. I was reading about down syndrome and Its a genetic disorder which makes me thing that the sperm that went in her damaged or had a effect on her genetics as well.??

I've been married 2 years and my husband has accused me of cheating hundreds of times. He interrogates me like he's a cop and I'm a criminal. I'm a good wife. I work, clean cook, always available physically and emotionally, never pick a fight with my husband or anything. I'm a bartender at a casino and during the week there's mostly men at the bar. If someone hits on me I politely say I am married and put up my hand.... My husband is convinced I bang people when I'm at work. Today he came to give me flowers (how nice) and I was not at my bar. I was in the bathroom. I decided to make my husbands doctors appointment while I was in there and it took about 10 minutes. When I came back my husband looked very angry and asked where I was. I told him I was in the bathroom making a call to his doctor. Showed him the call. He still isn't satisfied and thinks I was screwing someone. There's a humdredoccasions where he was done this. I'm tried of it. We've been to counseling. That worked for a week. Even when I see my father and brothers he's convinced that we have some kind of incestual relationship. Crazy right. Should I justdivorce my husband? Love him to pieces but he can't keep accusing me of this. It's ridiculous. I've never cheated on him. And have no desire to.

Lets turn it around and imagine a Lady with a good job goes on vacation to Mexico and meets a much younger man who is just a migrant farm worker, penniless, with no savings. She and her get along well together, but then he talks to her and says "Why don't you marry me and bring me with you so we can enjoy life together?" He dreams of fulfilling his lifetime dream and becoming a poem writer, while the wife continues to work and support the entire household. He also tells her that he does not want to have children, it is something he is against having, so no children with him. He had a vasectomy years ago to make sure of it. Now tell me; where is the benefit in it for her to do such a thing as marrying him? Why would she spend so much time and money to marry him, so he could then be supported by her? Please tell me what benefit she would get from marrying him? Now turn it around and you see my exact same situation; where is the benefit of it for me if she doesn't want kids but I do, and she doesn't want to work at all? What benefit would there be for the man to marry such a lady?

My ex-wife has been paying only half of the court-ordered child support for many years. This was because her income went down and I accepted half (as better than nothing) but now she is claiming that her employer has switched her from salar to hourly and her income has been cut in half as a result and she can no longer pay any child support. If I go to Child Support Enforcement, they will just want to enforce the full amount of child support which I know for sure she can't afford. She won't go to a mediator either to discuss what she can possibly afford either. I'm not out to get every cent from her but believe she should be contributing what she can. The added dilemma is that she's mentally not all there -- she's paranoid schizophrenic and becomes irate at the drop of a hat (aluminum). Should I go to court and have the child support order reduced and then go to Child Support Enforcement? I don't want to put her out on the street but she says she's making minimum wage now. Thankfully, I'm able to support my child on my own without her but it's still the principle of the matter. No, she doesn't often see our child as she claims the cost of gas makes it difficult (about an hour each way).

Essentially "kiss your life goodbye" to relocate with the one you love? My husband has been offered a job in another province and us moving would involve me leaving my career, leaving my family and friends, and starting new. We have to make a decision by May 1 and I feel so overwhelmed :-/

I love my husband but sometimes i want to punch him.

My husband is a very loving, kind, and gentle man, so I don't understand his "secret behavior". I want to start off by saying that my husband shows that he loves me in many ways, he takes care of me when I am sick, he holds me and cries with me during my struggles, and does things all the time to show he cares, and more. But today, I walked into my office and he was on our shared laptop (we have separate accounts). When I walked up, the screen was blank like he just shut down the browser screen. I asked him what he was looking at and why did he shut it down all of a sudden. He said that he had just finished, and that he was doing a job application. When he left, I looked at his history (I know his password), and it shows that yes that is what he was recently doing. However, I scrolled further down and noticed he was watching some not so good videos a couple weeks ago. So, I went to his youtube history and it shows a lot of christian videos and some dirty videos mixed in his history. When I asked him about some of them he said it was a long time ago, but it couldn't have been over a year ago (we've been married for almost 4) because there were some "Frozen" clips at one point. He also said he didn't know how some of them showed up in his history because he didn't watch them, but there were several in a row. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but could he be lying to my face? And if so, what should I do? First of all, it wasn't porn exactly. And a lot of you missed the point to the question. I wasn't worried about the videos. I was worried about him lying to my face. The longer I've thought about this, the more I realize he most likely didn't look it up. We have a very open communication in our marriage, which is why I was concerned about the lying. And yes, he does have a job. But we are moving, and he is looking for a good job there before we make plans to move. And since there were very few mature answers, I will be closing this question, and choosing one of the mature answers, helpful or not. It wouldn't bother me for him to search my history. I have nothing to hide. We have each other's passwords for everything.

ok so when my wife's friend moved to the next major city to ours for work my wife offered to let her stay here when she was off on the weekends so she wouldnt have to commute back and fourth to live her regular life here where she is from, she works and lives in a city on the weekdays monday through thursday about an hour away. This was only the second weekend she was here, when she's here my wife is working days and she's often here alone with me we get along great i complain about my wife to her we watch tv on opposite ends of the couch share a blanket she puts her legs over mine just very platonic and none sexual. This past weekend she came over and my wife went to work Saturday morning at about 7 am, I hollered out to her friend lets call her Jessica that she could come get in bed since its probably more comfortable than the couch she did we slept until about 8:40 and I made us breakfast. I asked if she wanted to come run some errands with me since i didnt have the kids today they were with their maternal grandparents she agreed we both began getting ready to start the day theres 2 bathrooms that have showers she came into my bathroom while i was showering and she could see through the glass me completely naked to ask for a towel for the other bathroom i jokingly said want to join me in this shower she said sure surprisingly i didnt stop her or explain that i was joking she actually got naked in front of me and stepped into the small stand up shower with me so i obviously like any guy would, became "excited" sexually. I was in a tight shower with a naked woman with a banging body that wasn't my wife though it felt wrong it still didnt feel wrong enough to say no or leave the bathroom change my mind ect.. she noticed that i was at full glory and commented on my size jokingly shes playful and just a fun girl, we finished up in the shower did not have sex and went on to do our routines of getting ready for the day, now shes coming back tomorrow (frida friday- my wife has work again, and i'm a bit confused about my feelings if i was meant to be with my wife would i of gotten erect from this girl? the rest of the weekend after seeing her naked id get hard just standing near her or looking at her my wife obviously doesn't know, maybe im starting to get feelings for this girl? should i act on it or try to sleep with her if she feels the same way i might se how things go and eventually leave my wife and just do the weekend thing with the kids? any advice or anyone go through anything similar? have you ever had your husband do something like this how did you react ect? so you guys are saying i should ask for a bj this weekend should i kiss her first? is oral as bad as full on having sex with her cheating wise?

I believe I can make connections that are hidden (disclosed) that other people can't. This isn't some grandiose ability that I was born with though; I've spent most of my childhood needing to be one step ahead of the people abusing me so I didn't get beat up. Thus, I have learned how to pick up on the subtleties that others ignore because they aren't aware they are there (or they ignore them - Willful Blindness). Example of my skill/talent: The advice given on this Q&A forum "seems to" have a bunch of people agreeing with the same advice, right? Wrong. One or two people are creating a set of "social norms" by giving the same advice using multiple accounts. Then they are using Thumbs up/down to make sure their agenda is known. The goal is to push "good advice" by creating a "mob mentality". Regardless if their advice is "sound" or not, simple minded people have a tendency to agree with the majority, so if you control the majority, then you control the obedient/Christian visitors. And if you rebel against the mob, you are crowded out. That's how the game is played. Ryde0n calls the multiple accounts "sock accounts". Now, I used to believe that my wife was like me and could tell the subtleties and see the connections like I could, but thinking deeply about the discussions we have daily on our ride to/from work I realize I'm projecting this on her and she isn't a deep person at all. Actually, she's quite shallow really. Is it common to project ourselves on the people we love?

My husband has been giving his parents large sums of money without consulting me. I bore all the financial burden since we were married now I'm a stay at home mom. When I catch the transactions on his statements he tells me he's paying off his student loans which they borrowed from a family friend. I didn't believe this was true but he kept promising that there's nothing more to it. I wanted to trust him so let it go numerous time until recently when I tapped their phone call & I was right they are using it to help his sister. But I'm talking about over $4000. We stay rent free w/my parents & when I asked to get our place he said he can't afford 1200 per month in rent mind you we have no expenses we eat sleep commute on my parents expenses. I don't understand the reason for dishonesty. I know he might be embarrassed of this which is why he's hiding but I have the right to know. I may not like it but I would never tell him to not help out his sister if he ever asked me. As much as I want to confront him I don't think I should bcuz I don't want him to know I intercepted their call & also he might get slick & I'll never know if this happens again. I would discuss this w/someone but I want unbiased opinions & besides I don't want to hurt my parents feelings. I was thinking if I should be sly & tell him I'm back in school & have him give me money so I can save up for our son. I rarely ask him money for myself since I work 1-2shifts per month and that's enough for my expenses.

The sheriff came to my door the other day trying to serve paperwork for my husband. The sheriff did not leave me the paperwork nor give me any information about it. My husband called the sheriffs department and inform them when he would be arriving home, two weeks of past and we still have not received any paperwork from the sheriffs department. My husbands ex-wife sent him a message telling him we're going to be glad to see you on the 24th at court. If we have no paperwork from the sheriffs department don't know what she is trying to do what can happen if my husband doesn't show up for a court date that we don't know about. No time, no place, no information.

We're about the same age, he is one year older than me. We like many of the same shows, we have similar tastes in decorating, we split the bills and generally the chores, and we both like cats and dogs. We both have graduated from college with a Bachelor's as well. If we were to get married, how well would we do in a marriage? He really loves sports, I don't really pay attention to them. He wants to be more spiritual, but I am non-religious. He's more of a capitalist, I'm more a socialist. We have been dating nearly 5 years now, and lived together for about 1 year. We're still working out life goals, but we're both pretty flexible. I would like to raise children eventually, and he is open to the idea, but wants to finish his Master's degree first and make more money, which I think is a smart plan. If we are to raise kids, we've discussed childcare thoroughly, and he would work full time while I either stay at home or just work part time. In terms of living situation, we're fine with apartments and condominiums right now since we don't need much space.

As I said I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years my two oldest one is in school the other one will be by August of this year and I have one baby. My husband makes good money and ive been saving. I have so many questions. I've found a place to rent and ive got 1 months income for my entire bills to get me started plus almost all my furniture. I m just having such a hard time with job. I've not worked in 5 years so finding something has been very hard. I like in a small little town surrounded by more small towns. With only my high school diploma my other license have expired. How did you make it on your own and what help is available to me even though my husband makes 60,000 a year until our divorce is final?

If he has a problem, he just shuts down and shuts me out from it. He is not an emotional man, I have never seen him cry. But I loathe the disconnect this feeling presents.

Something you feel that is a positive unique to your relationship, that other marriages might lack?

Prior to meeting my wife, I was a typical healthy teen with dreams. Shortly after meeting my wife and having her hold unrealistic expectations against me I got depressed and started to hate myself so I could "treat my wife better" through my sacrifice. Today I'm learning to love myself again but I am trying to maintain treating my wife well too; this isn't easy because they often contradict each other... My wife has an issue with ego-centrism. She believes the whole world is watching her and is "out to get her". She learned this paranoia from her mother who raised her to believe this was true. Her mom made her wear solid color shirts to avoid being noticed as a kid; she also only took my wife to the store with her because she was quiet and didn't "make a scene" so she could get noticed. In the end, both of them are ignorant for thinking the world cares about them at all. My marriage is plagued with issues stemming from my wife's egocentric behavior. She assumes I'm a mind reader and always speaks with ambiguity, she controls the household through manipulation and fear, and she still has unrealistic expectations of others because she doesn't know anyone's capabilities (inability to see beyond herself or have empathy for others - no theory of mind). Lately I've been plotting to take over the family, but I don't know how to do this. I am still in recovery from my self hate. Without this, my wife treats us as objects/obstacles. This isn't right. Your opinions? FACT --- Marriage counseling only works if both people have brain's capable of learning new things. We've tried marriage counseling once before and my wife couldn't understand the concept of "change"... She was trying to figure out how the counselor was helping her achieve what she wanted to achieve and where counseling fit in her grand scheme of megalomania (running the household). She didn't see the marriage as "not working" since it was working fine for her... FACT --- I have narcissistic qualities because I speak from the first person exclusively and I do not share her point of view. And the reason I can't share her point of view is because she doesn't share it. I ask her questions all day long and she can't answer them. She doesn't seem to have any opinions that weren't taught to her; that's why I study culture, Christianity, and "women culture" so I can understand what *MIGHT* be her point of view since she can't seem to form the words/emails...

my husband and i moved into an apartment together with my brother. alot of bad things have been happening now to where he is leaving and just a little while ago, while my husband was sleeping in his room my brother and his girlfriend jumped my husband. his face is swollen and everything. should i just move out of my home or do i call the cops for assault?

lol i dont really like to call him husband but since were married :T anyway story is that (we have little 2 years old child :) ) i was walking with my daughter Rachel in the park and we crossed our paths with my husband ,walking with a younger woman :( should i break up or not 'cause when i do my child wouldnt have a dad and that sad :( i think its fine if he walks with a younger woman since im not all that beatiful (the girl was gorgeous) but what do you think?

Me & my husband got married on Feb.14. We seemed to be the perfect cute couple and we just matched each other. We didn't have any big arguments just bickering here and now. But the Monday before Saturday I found datin websites on his phone along with porn. I confronted him, maybe not the best way but I did. He apologized promise it would never happen again. There was no more dating websites for alittle while. But porn stayed. I ended up tracking his browser history on my laptop to find lots of porn while he was at work. I blocked it. But it didn't fix it. I thought it did. He now has 3 video chatting apps. In which he doesn't video chat but one has animal porn connected to it. I'm lost on what to do. I've went to his parents for help. Something has to give. He's super protective over his phone, like we go somewhere and I forget mine in the car and I ask to use his real quick he freaks out and tells me to wait til I can get mine. Maybe it's minor but to me that's a big deal. I'm his wife. Now, on physically cheating he honestly doesn't have time. When he's not at work he's litterally with me. His dad is his superviser so his dad would let me know if something fishy was happening. I think he needs nude pictures from different women... & no maybe just porn in general. I'm stumped on how to fix this. I've done all I know.

Start a new life at 60 years old? Should I stay married and forget the divorce hassle ? or is there any hope of me finding love with a decent man? My husband and I have been living our own lives for years...i knew if went to divorce he would make my life miserable , I know he still will . But he is anyway ..help!! this man is beyond evil. he lives to make my life misery.

There is a man who asked me to marry him 2 years ago, I declined because I was not ready and was in university at that time - I graduated now. However, I still have feelings for him, and he is still in touch with me. He wants to hang out after a month. I've decided to tell him that I'm ready, but I'm nervous, because I think that it may not be fair for him - as I don't know how he feels, he hides his feelings sometimes. Is it better if I wait after a month when we hang out again and tell him, or should I just tell him now..? I can't decide. I feel like it's better to wait after a month, but then again, I can't stop thinking about it. I need some advice please, what do you guys think about my situation?

Also upset. Me and my husband are still together. We have a small daughter together. We been evicted from a lot of apartments in a small period of time. Also stayed with family for a long time and friends to save didn't help. He's staying in a men's alcoholic center where he payed $65 the first month to safe but he hadn't saved. I'm depressed of all this.

My husband is staying in a men's alcoholic center. He's been there almost a month , how long can he stay there? He's not there for drinking ( he is an alcoholic) but because he can't save money .He pays $65 after a month it goes up to $90

I live about a half hour from my ex husband, and I am moving in with my best friend and his two children, same ages as mine, about forty minutes away. Our kids are best friends and the same ages, he works too early for daycare so I drop all four kids off, and since he's off a couple hours earlier than me, he picks them all up. The girls share a room and the boys share a room, and my friend and I each have our own rooms. He was having trouble with his high house payment and bills after his divorce, so it's helping him out a lot too. It works really well, but my ex has 50/50 custody and will stop at nothing to gain custody. He doesn't work, lives off the state and his "disability" from the military, which he faked. I have a well paying job and he wants child support, he actually filed for it and got it until I got a lawyer to prove that he did not have primary custody. Can this move gain him custody? The kids currently go to school in his district.

Where he payed rent and has to go to meetings 3 times a week. How long can he stay there? We used to live together but got evicted back to back. He's there trying to save money to get us an apartment.