She's fifteen. She turned thirteen and all went down hill. I have taken her phone, bed, clothes, done 'lockdown' in her room and so many other things it doesn't help her behavior. I feel like I don't even love her anymore. When I punish her she says 'I' and skips to her room. It takes everything in my not to beat her bhind. What should I do?

My wife tells me I need to change my attitude so i do. She tells me if I run her a bath make her feel good I will get sex and then I do but nothing happens. I tell her let's cuddle she puts up a attitude then just pushed me to my dude of the bed. Like i dont know any guy who has the freest of sex and doesn't get it. Like granted she has a stressful job but I just get treated not like her husband but some guy. Am I wrong to be upset and what should I do?

Okay so I am a 24 year old woman. My husband is a 29 year old man. We have been together for five years and married for two. We moved cross country together and have done a lot together so far. I am fit and curvy. He is tall and skinny. We have opposite interests in most things, music, hobbies etc. I love him but idk what else to do. I'm a very sexual woman.. I always have been... I remember I discovered pleasuring myself from the age of 13... I have always loved orgasms. Lol who doesn't right? Anyways.... My husband knew that I was this sexual from the start and that I want to explore. He used to have sex with me a few times a week... I'm the one who came on to him every time though. When he actually does it he seems into it. I don't even have to touch him and he is already hard. However over the past year and a half... Things have gotten bad. I don't know what it is about 24 but I'm even more sexual then ever. He wants sex with me maybe once a month. He turns me down multiple times a week... I have tried so much to spice it up... He still has an excuse.. I have so many things I want to explore... I want to masterbate together (he said it's stupid) I want to have sex with a woman... Maybe him watch or join. (He says that's cheating) I bought ropes and outfits and such galore... He still shows no interest. What should I do? I can't live with this non sexual relationship... It's effecting out everyday relationship... It's to the point now where if I'm in public and I see a

A friend of mines and her husband are having problems over the well being of the child. Can she file custody or take some sort of legal action?

I always have to initiate everything with guys, talking, going on dates. Any advice as to why?

My boyfriend of one year and I are really close. He's always honest with me . Recently for the last few months I haven't been in the mood to have sex.. I think we maybe had it a few times. Today I was in the mood and he said he was exhausted from work . I thought it was weird for him to say no since he always want to but I'm not in the mood usually. I asked questions to make sure everything was ok and then I asked have you been watching porn or something? And he said I watche'd it once last week. (He stopped watching a month into our relationship). He said he was sorry but he really needed to relieve himself and it wasn't mental it was just a psychical thing he needed to tend to. He said he had to recently delete my naked photos because he was scared of someone hacking into his Icloud so he resorted to porn last week. I Feel like I've been cheated or something... Or am I over reacting?

hi guys...been divorced almost 2 years now...i pay alimony and child support every week for 280$. We have joint custody but i only see my son every other weekend...and 2 hours on tuesday and thursdays from 4-6pm...so basically he is with her 25 days and 4 days with me per month...This is just not fair for the child or me...the court gave us counseling to go to and our first visit is next week...my question will the counselor be able to modify this so thats equal visitation times for both of us or will they tell me to go to court and file paper work? counseling was ordered by the judge to solve our issues so I am thinking they will be able to help me out in this regard?

My stepdad has openly admitted to having an affair and refuses to file because "even though he loves the other woman he still loves her too." The problem is my mom is financially dependent on him. Due in part to his controlling and mentally abusive ways. Is there any way the law will work in her favor in this situation and allow her to file without the financial consequences?

To me it's against God my son to keep in contact with this woman after he graduates because she's MARRIED.MARRIED people have no business having friends of the opposite gender unless they're relatives.It's called emotional cheating if a MARRIED person decides to have any sort of friendship with someone of the opposite gender.Before anyone says that marriage is about trust,well to me it's not about trust but it's about commitment,and being faithful and the fact that this teacher even considering keeping in contact with my son after graduation is just very,very wrong.If her husband allows my son and his wife to be friends,he's just as wrong as my son and this MARRIED woman.If my son was a female,then it would be okay for her to become friends with this woman,even tho she's MARRIED but since it's by son,it's wrong.It's adultery if my son becomes friends with this MARRIED woman.It's called coveting when a 18 year old boy is friends with a MARRIED 25 year old woman.It's called coveting when a man is friends with a MARRIED woman unless the woman or the husband is related to them.My son does have a girlfriend who's 17.Is it against God for MARRIED to have platonic friendships with people of the opposite gender gender?

I'm 33 never had a girlfriend in my entire life hahaha. Athletic and been so my entire life. I'm just very shy around the "girls I like". For awhile, I saw this girl at my gym. I didn't stare at her like some creep. Just noticed her innocently. She was training with her friend who was pretty too but I had my eye on her. Then one day, she came up to ask me something about if some water bottle was hers or mine. Now it was obvious it was hers and she was giggling. . She left it by the machine a machine away from where I was. Not too close. She caught me off guard as she was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. She gotta be early 20's too. Im still into prime women. all I did was shake my head no and went back to my thing. She is physically perfect. The next day, she was walking past me as I was heading into the building. I got that feeling I was being looked at and in the very corner of my eye I could tell she look irritated. Why? She gets attention from dudes her age. Recently, i went to walk past to a curl station and she must have seen me in the mirror walking by and looked over her should. On e again I saw her in the corner of my eye. A little after that she came near to put weights away. She could have done that elsewhere and she still looks at me. Y I choke up when she is near and keep to myself extremely. I'm finishing college and money poor too. That's a no no for a man my age and that makes me permanently undateable. She might have a dude. I dunno.

My husband and I celebrated our 11th anniversary. Every year, I plan a thoughtful gift for him for our anniversary and birthday. I'm lucky if I get a card. This year, (since the 11th anniversary gift is traditionally steel), I gave him an all expense paid three day trip for him and his best bud to go to Kansas City to see a NASCAR race (steel cars), meet their favorite band, $500 in spending money, and a stainless steel iPod touch for tunes for the road. He gave me: nothing. As usual. I'm almost to the point where I'm like what's the point? Why do I even try? It's not just birthdays and anniversaries, either. We have never gone on a trip together, he didn't even buy me an engagement ring or wedding ring (I bought my own), didn't propose, didn't take me on a honey moon, didn't give me a wedding gift, etc. Unless I ask and nag him to do something (even changing a light bulb or small house projects, he just doesn't do it. I mean it takes the guy years to finally get around to simple house projects that end up taking him 10 minutes to an hour. Does it sound like he doesn't want to try? Or is it just me? I feel like I give 200% to our relationship and he doesn't and has never cared (that's how I feel some days anyway.) I don't know what to do. I take care of the kids, work full time, have dinner ready when he comes home, keep the house spotless, try to make even little occasions special for him and do everything I can think of to make him happy. Apparently to no avail. Ideas?

My gf and I have a wonderful relationship and we are both 28. Both educated and we've been together for 7 years. I do not believe in marriage but she does. Almost everyone in my family has been divorced so I never wanted to get married. I can be happy without marriage. I feel like marriage will complicate things.

I've been asking him to make a settlement so we can save money and spend it on our child instead of giving it away to attorneys. how to convince him to settle? by settlement I mean agreement as final decree, without spending money on attorneys he should not be mad about divorce as he is the one who filed because he has a girlfriend.. to ask for less would leave me on the street without my child and this is not an option for me..

Ok so ever since we broke up (4 years ago) I haven't had the motivation to date. I've dated men but not like I want to see them again by 2nd date...only to like use them when Im bored. But when I was with my ex, I LOVED dating men, mostly to show him how I have so many men want to date me, to make him jealous, to make him see I have a life BESIDES him...But..ever since we broke up, it beats the purpose. Now its so boring going out on dates knowing my Ex is not waiting for me in the background to see what a catch I am. I guess I was never really interested in those guys, just used them to get my ex jealous to lose me. Focusing on the guy on the date was too boring as I was never into them to begin with. Just into their "things" or what they were providing me...Now that my ex is gone I clearly need to focus on the man himself but Im never into them its terrible...atleast having my ex around was more fun. What do I do? My ex is taken by the way so he is off limits. Yeah I am sadistic...but only with my ex. I tried to bring him back but he's piting his fat girlfriend against me... I like hurting my ex, but only for him to think im powerful, that way he would never leave. Which it bakfired, he left anyway, but I know its to spite me.

I've been thinking about proposing for the last few months and it's sort of crossing over to other parts of my life. I met my girlfriend my senior year of high school through friends. The summer before I planned to enlist we started going out and I put going into the military off until after college. That was 3 years ago and we've been together for this entire time and I can't see myself without her. We've talked about marriage, kids, etc. Before and I feel like she's the one. Only I've wanted to go into the military since I was in elementary. One of my high school JROTC instructors was a former Green Beret and he told a lot of great things about them that inspired me to want to enlist and eventually go into selection. I've also talked to the Navy about the SEALs and am considering going to one of the two after I finish college (and hopefully qualify for OCS). I want to do this while I'm still young but I'm not sure how this will workout if I do end up getting married. My girlfriend as it is now has different life goals as far as her career and I've seen lots of relationships end under similar circumstances. So I'm basically asking for advice, basically what would you do in my position?

It's a male, I'm straight. :)

A dear friend of mine is morbidly obese and needs my help shaving his balls, my husband would firmly say "NO, you are not shaving another mans balls"..he doesnt understand that this man cant do for himself .He has no family or friends who will help. Please be manure, and Thank you for your sensitivity in this matter. God bless you all.

Hi, I am a 27 year old female who married a 44 year old man in July of last year. I met him almost two years ago and thought this was it, that i found the love of my life as he was so kind loving to me and he told me i was his soul mate…we got married and recently had our 2month old daughter. Our problems started when i was 5month pregnant when he became less loving and distant from me….i tried to have sex with him but he was not really interested anymore so i thought maybe after the baby, it wil get back to the way it was before….NO! it got worse! He yells, argues and calls me names all the time, it feels like we are roommates now at home, he has absolutely not tried to have sex with me…i brought this to his attention several times but made no difference….I don't know what his deal is…I was 115 pounds before pregnancy, now post baby, i weight 150lbs, i feel unattractive and feel maybe he isn't attracted to me anymore, or maybe he is cheating but i don't know for sure…I'm on maternity leave and i think about this stuff all the time, why after the baby, my marriage got bad…i don't know what to do anymore but this is causing depression and unhappiness in my life….it's not easy anymore to walk away specially with a baby. I even told him before he married me that i would never want to get divorced or bring kids to this world to be raised by parents separately but it seems as if my marriage is failing already and this is tearing me apart…any kind advice?

This may sound gross, but do cheating women and men clean themselves down there after sex with a lover? Are they smart enough to "get rid of the evidence"? If a husband doesn't, wouldn't you notice "stuff" on his private part the next time you guys get intimate?

For years my wife has always been one to like whatever you like or have whatever ailment you have. For years I've loved sunflower seeds. Have been since I was a little boy. I was in a store the other day and found some honey roasted sunflower seeds and bought a bag. She asked for some and all of a sudden liked them. Now she went out and bought a bag and the full bag has been sitting on our dresser for weeks now. I took them to work the other day and she hasn't even noticed they're gone. If I say my foot is hurting then all of a sudden her foot starts hurting. If I walk in the house and say there's a problem with my car then she'll find something wrong with her car. We both watch a bunch of TV shows and occasional we'll see a show we like and set the DVR. If she sets it for something she wants to watch then that's cool. If I see a show I want to watch then now all of a sudden I can't watch it until she's with me because "WE" now like that show. One of these days I'm going to walk in the house and say "I need to get my prostate checked" and I can just about assure you she's gonna want hers checked too. (Satire) What do you do about a spouse who really latches on to everything you do?

he states that I cannot compete with his ex with his family because his family grew up with his ex as a neighbor and his family will always consider her a member of his family even though they are divorced. I feel I should be respected as his wife even though.

about 4 months ago I caught my spouse on personal on craigslist emailing women. he works night shift and says he is bored and has nothing else to do. so we go to counseling and he advise my husband to stop because what he was doing was emotional cheating. this have been going good he's been keeping his self busy and not getting on it. well today he tells me he's getting bored and is tempted to get on it. I don't understand why he can't just stay off it. I'm not ok with this. I would understand if I was a bad wife and didn't fulfill his need but I'm gorgeous help?? I feel like if he does this again I'm gonna leave. I'm having a hard time focusing on anything I feel lost and am tired of it.

You thought my overthinking was bad. She's worse apparently. Only hers is emotional ruminations, not logical strategies. Help me numb her. She doesn't drink because it makes her sick (supposedly).

Ok I need help I know how crazy it sounds but I had a affair and got pregnant and im married the other guy is also and I didn't know that my husband should notsign birth certificate but he did well now I want to pursue child support for my child and I cant because my husband is on birth certificate and he needs to be removed before I can do it what do I do

My spouse has been suffering from addiction for six years now. Everyone, including me was ALL about them. Until the last few years I have been going to naranon and this week started individual counseling. Even still, I feel like I am going to break. I literally feel like I am having a mental breakdown. Anyway, when I turned 16 I lost my whole family from a tragedy and I had a mental breakdown. I literally had to go away for 7 months because I lost it. I feel like I am getting to that point again. Has anyone else ever dealt with this, and if so how did you get through it? Did you have to leave your spouse? We have been together for about 10 years and when I met him, he was sober/ clean. His mom died about 4 years into our relationship and then he just went south. I don't really want to leave my marriage because I love him, but I just wonder how other people dealt with this? I've sent him to rehab twice. First time he got clean for 1.5 year and second time for 9 months. He says he wants to get clean. I just want this marriage to be about me and him, or sometimes ME. I know that sounds selfish but Idk. I don't really have enough to leave at the moment. It would take me a year or so to be able to afford to live on my own at the moment because of the debt. I live paycheck to paycheck and I'm lucky if I make 300 a week. Trying to get a second job but it's not easy.

I'm 26 and married to my husband who is 29. We have 4 young kids including a 10 month old. I'm stay at home mom for the moment and my husband works long hours. He annoys me all the time and leaves the cupboards open and leaves the milk out. He gives the kids candy too often even if I tell him not to and he makes annoying jokes. I'm very tired with 4 kids having to take care of the house cook and everything I never have time for myself. When the kids sleep I have to spend time with my husband and listen to his boring nonsense. He's so full of himself. He just talks about how stressed he is about everything and never thinks about me. I tell him to put the milk away and be more organized but he still does it. When he comes home from work he just eats, watches TV and plays with the kids. I wish I had more time for myself but I'm always tired. The other day we went out to eat and my husband was a slob and the kids were crying and I was embarrassed but my husband just laughed and told me to lighten up. I took a pregnancy test since I missed my period and it came out positive. We usually use the pull out method so I'm surprised. I don't want a 5th baby with all the stress I'm going through and I haven't even told my husband. What do I do?

When it's over it's over I'm not taking any pills.He's having problems in the sex department which we never talk about and he won't go get him self checked out to see what's going on with him. Ok I'm not an old lady and I still have sexually desires even if he dosen't and everything is okay with him that way.We never discuss it it's like it's a hush hush thing and I feel that I'm not suppose to bring it up. I think that husband and wife should be ale to discuss anything. This has made me lose some respect for him for being that way about this. I'm not one for toys and all that stuff that's why I have a husband. Now if he went to the doctor and he told him he had a medical condition that would be something different but to just not even think of his wife needs is so Dam selfish. What's a wife to do?

I've spent 5 years researching women, society, culture, Christianity, sex, love, poetic rhetoric, politics, social norms, society, fashion, feminism, asexuality, romanticism, aromantic personalities, transgenders, lesbians/gays, dogma, social injustice, women abuse (catty behavior), passive aggression, celebrity news, femininity/masculinity, alpha/beta, dom/sub, respect, mannerisms, and even machoism so I could TRY to understand my wife but not a single thing helps. Is this a waste of time? Should I just treat her like an object and get on with my life? Seriously, I feel like I wasted 5 years of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm smart now. Like, WAY smart. But being smart has NOTHING to do with getting along with a woman. No matter how much I learn about their inner world, it seems like I will *NEVER* be able to "understand" since they will always find something (anything) to try to keep understanding them elusive and their beliefs ambiguous so I can't figure her out. I'm seriously thinking of just giving up and having her be an object in my life. Give me a reason to not give up. Please. Give me SOMETHING proving that these last 5 years weren't wasted. Please. Please.

I have so many mixed emotions for someone else thinking about him driving me crazy but i really love my husband but i can not stand his controlling personality i feel very tied with him sometimes he does not care about my feelings as we should be equal partners in our married life i've faced hard times with him now i can not help it i sometimes dream of the other sexually and imagine him with me then i hate my self and get depressed so much.

This is where I fail the most in my relationship. My wife sometimes has "a problem". This "problem" typically has to do with something emotional that has no real rules other than things taught in charms school and MAYBE what you learned in church (if you attended). Other than that, there's just fundamental moral code; and even then not everyone follows the same rules. Aw whatever, that's all besides the point actually; the point is my wife has a "problem" and it most likely is a result of her beliefs of how the world works. (The B on the ABC Triangle). So we have this "problem", which could be anything irrational, and she presents to me her ideal solution or her perspective on what happened. This "venting" gives her a fantasy escape of the loss of the argument or the lack of control she has over a situation/person; and this venting unfortunately requires responses from me other than "Uh huh" and "Right" and "Okay, Dear" and "Yup". She expects me to "be on her side" even though 99 out of 100 times her "problem" is just that HER problem since she doesn't understand how the world works (and she doesn't care how to figure it out either). So I have a VERY difficult time "being there for her" when her "problem" is all idealistic nonsense. If I told her I agreed with her, then we both would be wrong and I just re-enforced her idealistic thinking... So I do what any sensible person would do, I tell her that this "problem" is her fault or in her head and we argue... Help? Honestly, this is how most of our problems go. She wants to argue over emotional things that have no right/wrong except what she believes is the truth. And here's the WORST part of this, her beliefs change just like the wind since she looks at every situation for specific violations of her internal moral code and she scrutinizes people based on that. And if you don't play along with her, and make her feel less insane, she gets mad and says you aren't "supportive". WTF!

I've suggested nicer cities close by but he refuses making it seem like that by not moving there I'm insulting his mother & his childhood. It's a fact that the houses are slums, there's a serious drug problem & the school districts are awful but he seems to turn a blind eye to that. I don't get it. It's causing serious problems b/t us.

Before anyone makes assumptions of me being the angry baby momma let me make it clear that I am completely over this man we have been separated since 2011 and are not quite divorced yet. Considering that I am fully responsible for both of our children ( he was not present for either of them when they were born) , I allow them to have a relationship with his parents who are educated, loving people. His mom however has never liked me because she will always choose her sons word over mine which is fine. However she does say some rude comments at times or insults me when I call her over the phone. Now she tells me that her son deserves visitation rights even though he doesn't come see the kids never met our youngest. He has begun to pay his child support so I will give him that much. Any suggestions? what are my boundaries as a mother that has tried to co parent for the last 4 years now? thank you

How do movies and romance books affect our concept of marriage? It makes us thinkk we should find the ultimate happiness in marriage, rather that the reality of it--tha we're going to have to face lots of conflicts. But how do movies and books make us think that in marriage, we'll find that pure joy? which is more an illusion than an attainable reality

my husband makes enough to support the both of us and so i havent worked a fultime job in over a year now. Im a stay at home wife (no kids) i babysit for brother and crete art and jewelry and sell things online for extra cash i dont consider this work and was wondering how i should jump back into the game without feeling like ive wasted a huge chunk of my work life?

"The marriage vow is deeply connected to the marriage relationship. The vow helps the couple to name their marriage's innermost meaning. The vow is foundational: the couple's first and most formal effort to define, and therefore understand, exactly what their marriage is."

And Also What are the red flags/warning signs one sudn't ignore before getting into a relationship...

So on April 18th, 2015 my wife and I decided it was acceptable to move an old high school friend, her boyfriend, their 9 month old son, and small dog into our home to avoid them becoming homeless. During the first week, we had many trial runs. The dog would urinate and have bowel movements in our carpeted home, and the owners decided they didn't want to take the dog outside. After steaming about this for over 24 hours, I approached them calmly informing them if they were going to keep the dog in our home, it needed to be taken outside for potty at least once every 2 hours (other than night time). Since this issue has begun fading. Now we're onto the issue of them leaving dirty diapers all through our home. When I wake up in the morning there are dirty diapers on my coffee table, floor, KITCHEN TABLE, among other places. I have a garbage can in EVERY room of my home. There is no reason for this!! They have yet to do any dishes, clean up after themselves, or shower/bathe themselves or the baby. Now i'm getting frustrated. I do not want to be their mother, I have chosen to not become a parent yet, because I do not want these responsibilities. My spouse is now threatening to move out of our home if "I" do not approach this. She desired to approach it in a negative manner "My house is not a dump site, throw your nasty diapers in the trash or take your s*** and get out". I want to be respectful, as I also want them to respect us. How would you approach this?

My wife gaslights (says something is true that isn't and tells me that what I believe is true isn't true - even though it is). My wife blames (says something is my fault when really she contributed to it and she just can't accept she did anything wrong). My wife shames/guilts (tries to make me feel bad for my lack of adherence to her beliefs of how a man/father/husband/friend should behave). My wife attacks (she uses insults, name calling, and other tactics to trigger an emotional response from me so I can fight at her level where she is guarenteed to win - reasoning with her only feeds her emotional rage). My wife goes "all in" (she puts everything on the line of her winning, especially things that she does for the family or for me so she can prove that she's serious) My wife goes silent (she refuses to discuss things when she knows she has the upper hand and she makes me "think about my behavior" so I can self punish since I am used to being treated like this by my mother) My wife never apologizes (she thinks she is right, with strong conviction, and she never says sorry for anything she did to win her fight) My wife fights to win EVERY time (she doesn't care about fairness, all she cares about is dominance. Something I'm starting to do too since otherwise I would be a pushover when trying to negotiate/compromise with her) Any advice on how I can become stronger will be welcome. Any advice telling me to grow a pair or that my perspective is wrong will be ignored. No new wife planned for the future. Surely someone made progress with someone like this. She's just immature right? And when she finally matures life will be better right? How do I protect myself until her maturity finally kicks in (she's 34 this year).

My wife married a man with a big heart (me). She likes this about me because I show her that there is hope for humanity and that this pessimistic world she creates in her head isn't real. But she also likes it for a more practical purpose - I am VERY easily manipulated by emotional interactions. She wants a backrub? Guilt trip me that she had a rough day and expose her back to me so all that's left is me meeting her the other half of the way. Even if she doesn't deserve it (did nothing to earn it), she expects this almost on a nightly basis. She calls it "me showing love". Meanwhile, I get no sex. None. She wants to spend money that dips into bills? She formulates a long explanation of why she wants it, includes sentiments about how I never ask for things and it makes her feel bad, then closes it with "but I really want this and I would be pretty disappointed if I didn't have it" before she tells me how much it is. All appealing to my emotions to gain power. Today I didn't support her grandiosity about quitting her $45k job (which she said she's going to do now since I'm not the boss of her). She is now trying to guilt/shame me for not being a "good husband" and support her in quitting and forcing us to live a lifestyle far below OUR standards. How do I change myself to be less prone to manipulation? I need to stop letting this work, but it is hard standing my ground when I value peace/harmony so much (she would make it world war if she didn't get her way). Today I'm standing my ground and the only reason I am able to is because we are arguing through text. But if this was face to face I would have a hard time not giving in. I am not skilled in dealing with other people's emotions. A person cries and I was trained to support them. A person whines and I was trained to help them. A person gets hurt and I was trained to be the hero. A person is frustrated and I was trained to fix it for them. It is how I was raised... :( While I agree relationships should be about respect, my wife disagrees. She doesn't believe in respect/love except when she is the beneficiary of it. She is not interested in how she treats others; just how others treat her. Our marriage was founded based on traditions that we both have long abandoned; except she struggles to maintain the traditions that benefits her (she throws out the stuff that women do to EARN this lifestyle though so the game is rigged). And I'm a fool for allowing it. My examples aren't very good. I understand that most of you are going to see this like me being a selfish jerk who won't my poor, overworked, underappreciated wife the way she deserves after slaving over a hot stove (like the media conditioned you to think) but my wife isn't your all American girl. She rarely cooks, she rarely cleans, she rarely does anything really. She makes money and she spends it... Also, backrubs are a reward. You can live a whole life without one. Sex is a reward too. ******ALL ADVICE THUS FAR HAS BEEN CRAP. I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME HOW TO BECOME EMOTIONALLY HARDY SO I CANNOT BE MANIPULATED INTO DOING THINGS I DON'T WANT TO DO!!!! I need help with blame, shame, guilt tripping, gaslighting (saying something isn't true when it is), and empty (or maybe not empty - who knows) threats of economical/emotional/social abuse... If I can get over the emotional abuse then I can seriously be on my way from Yahoo! Answers for good.

My wife is a mid-level manager at our office. She has a worker under her who wants special treatment that she is unwilling to give and she herself is a worker who wants special treatment from her boss and is being denied it. This has ruined my wife's week since the person under her is not "shutting up and just doing as they're told", and her boss is essentially telling her the same thing she is telling her underworker. At home, my wife is beginning to be dominated there too. You see, our children have been getting a 1.5 GPA ever since we went dual income. Earlier this week when I decided that I'm done playing these shenanigans, I took charge of the family and I have started to make important shifts in our family. The kids now have a bedtime ritual, they have to do their homework before playing games, and I am working on their behaviors. My wife also is being reconditioned to stop being a bad role model by being addicted to the computer and to do something else with her life (anything). Today my wife fantasized (and threatened) to quit her job since she doesn't feel like she's in control any more. That is a bunch of B.S... She's now in a texting war with me because I wasn't supportive of her grandiosity. She is name calling and she is basically metaphorically throwing herself on the ground kicking and screaming. Anyone else have to deal with this? She's a sore loser and cannot be reasoned with too, so this makes it EVEN harder for me... Marriage counseling only works if both people want change. She is quite happy with herself. You can't convince someone with mental health issues and emotional irregularity to willingly cooperate with someone who is going to call her crazy... She went to therapy once so she could get the therapist to say I was abusing her and since he didn't she quit. She said she'd go back to a woman but hasn't gone yet; probably out of the fear she wouldn't say she was being abused too. She's stubborn as hell. FACT ---- I am a very empathetic, sensitive, and compassionate guy. I do not like giving tough love. I do not like being firm. I do not like having to reward good behavior and ignore/discourage bad behavior. I can do these things, but I don't feel like I should have to do this to a 34 year old woman.... Telling her to stop being a role model was hard for me because I don't believe in role models. But if I don't use force, she is going to keep walking all over me. I need more strategies though...

For the last 5 years I've been a pushover. She convinced me back when I was vulnerable after losing my job that arguing was an abusive thing and I need to be more understanding and more "supportive". So I did just that, I stopped arguing (for the most part) and I started to listen more and become more "supportive". I just kind of "did what I was told" because peace/harmony was more important to me than constantly fighting with my wife... I kinda became the woman. Within the last 2 years I've been on here almost daily complaining about my life. 5 years ago she had completely convinced me that my life was going to be better if I was just more cooperative but that is NOT how it turned out and I am instead very miserable. But if you ask my wife how her life is, she would say "my life's great, you're the one with the problems!" and that's how it is today. I realize now that my wife convincing me that arguments are "abusive" and "hostile" was just her way of emotionally manipulating me so I would surrender my power in the argument and let her dominate me. My wife THRIVES on emotional manipulation since she can't logically or rationally compete with a man. So she exploited my sensitivity and demanded my empathy/sympathy and I was forced basically into submission. But no more. My wife is a "her way or the highway" kind of woman. She fights dirty and she gets angry when you "don't care" about her (so she can manipulate you). I need to learn how to fight her; I want my power back. I want to make something clear before anyone else answers: I don't necessarily want her to be a submissive woman (though I would love the luxury of that); what I want is just to have control over my OWN life again. She sees me almost exclusively as a tool that can be used to get her what she wants (groceries, money, status, etc).

Been married for 23 years. Had our usual ups and downs in bed and marriage but always been faithful to each other. About 4 months ago my husband became very secretive with his phone. I discovered he has been watching porn. And loads of it too, while I have always been a willing partner. We had a huge fight about it and he stated he was bored with our sex and wanted more and wants to experiment. Ive never been a prude and gave him what he wanted in all ways possibly imaginable. It went well for a while and now he has become distant and uninterested in sex. He has become rude in public to me with little snyde remarks or comments, does not talk to me(hold a conversation) or even hold me at night and refuse to watch porn with me as we can both be aroused by this. Have I given too much and now he thinks less of me?

Here's my wife's fantasy: She wants to quit her $45k annual salary job (after she went to college to get the job and she still has $28k in debt that needs paid off). She wants to use her time at home as a house wife to make everything perfect (the house, the kids, me, herself, the pets, our yard, etc). She wants to continue spending money just like we are (which would require me to some how miraculously find a job that pays $45k more) and she wants to still eat/cook healthy meals (organic and whole foods). There was no mention of our relationship or having more time for family time; just her living this dream life where she gets to be in control of everything that isn't perfect (to make it perfect)... I am not stupid, this is a dream about power. She has no power at the office (she's a mid-tier manager, so while she gets to dominate a few people, she is often dominated by a higher power and she HATES THAT) and she knows the only way for her to become her own boss is to become the boss of the house through controlling everyone's lives. Yes, it would be nice if the chores were caught up so we could have more free time as a family, but when she was a SAHM last time that's not how it went. Her free time was used selfishly on herself to pursue things that she couldn't do while working; we are nothing more than objects/obstacles to her. It's all about her, her, her, her... How would you handle this fantasy? I just down played it and told her it would never work. Nope, not politics. This is very much a marriage problem. This belongs in M&D. Do not move this question again. When your spouse has grandiose and idealistic "perfect" scenarios that they want to fantasize about, you need to handle it in a delicate way. I handled it wrong today. But I don't want to give false hope and give in to her grandiosity & OCD/perfectionism by saying "Some day, dear. Some day." Either. This had to be nipped in the bud IMO. But how do you handle it? Is there a better way?

Don't give me any crap about how I can't change my wife and then avoid answering my question; I have seen COUNTLESS times on here that women want to be treated like a lady and feel like a woman, so clearly some of you think a Man has a power to do this, so how does he do this? I'm asking this because my objective is to positive re-enforce my wife into behaviors that I find acceptable (femininity) and negative re-enforce my wife out of behaviors that I find unacceptable (her abusive behaviors); I think femininity is the answer because it forces a woman to always consider being gentle/kind/elegant/good so she won't be in her head all the time looking for the bad in others (she's very cynical and sarcastic). Now some of you will say "Why did you marry her" and the answer is because I love her and love at 19/20 years old is way before these problems develop. She became this person as a result of our relationship/family maturing. Now I need to reverse it and put her in a healthy/positive role. So, without further ado, please inform me what your husband does (or what you do if you are the husband or the gay wife) to make your spouse feel "special" and "like a lady"?

when I listen to reasons couples give for getting a divorce i cant help but think they just get tired of each other

why is that so?? what should i do to change things??

Suppose a man feels that he should invest his time and resources to improve his career in his 20's and 30's; to think about marriage and relationships ONLY after 45, does he stand a chance at either of them? He may or may not want to be a father, but would want to enter either marriage or a relationship after 45, can he get women even at that age?