Right before I gave birth to our daughter in October, I weighed 135lbs and I'm 5'5. Right before I gave birth, I weighed 170. Right now, I weigh 158lbs. Since I've had the baby, I'm not full on depressed but I'm stressed and tired all the time. I can't really decide between being working mom or a stay at home. So I switched to part-time. I miss being full-time and being fully committed to my job. And then when I'm at my job, I want to be home with my baby. So I just don't want to workout. I still have sex with my husband but I don't like dressing up and going out with him anymore. I feel fat in my clothes but I feel like if I buy new ones, I'm accepting myself as fat and then I'll get fatter. I still do hair/makeup. But I don't like being sexy for him and sleeping naked and stuff like that. My husband thinks I'm sexy still he says. He dated girls the size I am now before. But last night he told me, "You need to lose weight or need to change your attitude about yourself." Now I have to because I want to be a good wife but I feel stuck in my situation, like I feel even if I lose the weight, I still won't be happy.

My fiancé is furious that I don t understand why he was offended by the title I chose for the face book event that contained our save the date announcement. I used both our last names smith-jones (example). My name is from a previous marriage from which I have two children. I have not used my maiden name since 1987. I divorced in 2006 and kept my married name. When he told me he was uncomfortable with the name I told him I didn t understand why ( since he never indicated an issue previously) but I would not use it for the wedding since it made him uncomfortable . Should he be offended? Should I have known not to use my name since its from a previous marriage? Should I have used my maiden name? Should he call off the wedding because I don t understand why my name offends him and why he expected me to use my maiden name?

My husband and I reserved a fancy restaurant and our close friends ask if they can join on a double date. The next day she ask if we can change our restaurant to another one for another day instead to have a triple date with another couple instead bc it's that girls birthday. Should I change my vday plan to have a date with two other couple for someone's bday/Valentine's date?

Been married almost 4 years... Gone through 9month deployment, 3cases of DV, 4 - 1month separations, him cheating, 6months apart while he moved out of state, we have a 1 year old... I said I feel like we're falling apart he said we're fine he's not leaving. He moved into his own place last month no warning... Now he's with the woman he cheated with. He took all his stuff and our big TV, so my mom got me a 55" told me tell him a friend got it.. He came over asked to hangout I said I'm meeting people.. He blew up because I become social when he's gone.. Friends told me to make a POF to occupy me.. Him and his lover are looking for a 3sum on POF & he saw my profile & starts harassing me about the TV.. he's mad I made a POF & accused me of talking to someone cause I have POF & a new TV,(gave him my password) & wanted to know if I was looking I said no. He said he'd never ever trust me or love me as a wife again, he's completely done we are over no praying or nothing can bring him back move on. He wants to be friends & hangout with or without baby.. today I sent him pictures of the baby he wanted to come over I said depends he asked if I had a date or something I said no I just wanna be left alone.. he came over almost unannounced & kept staring because I'm quiet & he offered to take me bowling & a drink when he left he accidentally called me babe.. Is he done, messing with my head or what? & do you think him & the new woman will last?

Do i have a reason to give up and just get a divorce? Me and my husband dated for 4 months and then i moved to arkansas one state down from missouri and stayed in a long relationship for 3 years but in the last year i moved to washington state and he gave up on us but 3 months later beggs for me to take him back still in love with him i do .... 4 months later i surprise him by moving down to missori but turns out hes been talking to all these otherr girls while lying to me so i say we are done and turn to best guy friend who then takes advantage of me n steals my virgenity but my husband stayed by my side and comforted me and won me back ..... Now we are 8 months into marriage and back in washington and i find he still talk to some of those girls in missouri cause he belives they were always just friends and he was talking and texting diffrent girls in washinton over craiglist saying he just wanted to see if theyd text back but he texted like 6 diff girls and he was watching porn whole time in our relationship just all in all not the guy i thought he was ....... Should i hurry up and get out before he hurts me or stay because he hasnt cheated and stayed by my side when i needed him most

Bcoz If I can work I would help by my self..if could buy them a nice house by my self but I cant im not working..so is that to much to ask him or is that big enough 1000 php for me to ask him?..

My husband was at his last job for 10 years and left to make more money at a new company. Now he's very confused and having a hard time learning the system and the entire operations. The new system is a lot harder and not as advanced as the last place. It's only been 2 weeks and he says it's stressing him out and wants to quit already. He comes home and drinks and says he's going to have a nervous breakdown being so stressed How long should he stick with it before saying this isn't the right job and quit? Is 2 weeks too soon to give up?

Would you be friends with your ex husband is he's been investigate more than once for illegal things involving children? You have kids with him

I don't really mind it, i'm just interested in understand it better and want to know if there are just certain women like this.

My wife blows me, but I refuse to eat her out because that's not a turn on to me. She says I am incredibly selfish because what makes me think her blowing me is a turn on to her? Opinions?

I don't call my husband on his cell often. He calls me more, and for stupid reasons, such as to run back to the store for a case of beer AFTER I've already reached our street. Anyway, my point is that if he's unavailable when I call, I would appreciate at least a text or return phone call when he is available. But when it comes to checking FB or posting an update on any of his social media apps, he has all the time in the world. Is it too much to ask to at least be respected enough to receive a return call? He gets POed if he's trying to call me regarding one of the kids, and I don't answer right away.

Respect has to be earned? How does that work? Do I have to be rich? Have a big d*ck? Have a master's degree? Explain.

My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have a good relationship. Lately I have not been interested in having sex with her and it is becoming obvious. She asks all the time why we never have sex. The problem is that she doesn't do anything with herself. She looks good when she goes to work but soon as she comes home she puts her torn sweatpants on. It just turns me off. Not sure how to approach this situation.

My ex-wife takes average care of our daughter. I honestly don't like the way my ex wife earns so little when I specifically moved 400 miles away for a better paying job - as we both struggled and I was laid off. Problem is, I now rarely see my daughter. I have offered to help her find a suitable place closer to me - knowing that she would have a better standard of living - but she refuses and I know why - it's because of the way she is. The only way she'll say yes, is if there is a home that's being paid for by me, and a job at her feet. Will put in no effort, even if she admits things would be better. My daughter doesn't go without, but she could be in a much better environment. What would you do? Im not rich, but Im a hard worker, and this was part of the reason why we divorced. I find her to be lazy and entitled. What to do... @P - it's also called survival, yes, survival as a priority. If you were in your little town and you used to make $40,000, and no job wants to give you more than $30,000 4 months after a layoff - and the judge still has you paying child support at $40k, and you find something 400 miles away that is $47,000 - which would you choose? Yes, survival is a priority. Kid's still needs shoes - and my ex wife used to insist that love was all you needed. Too bad the landlord didn't think so.

I need help deciding on what to do & if I really want to do this or not. We've already gone to a marriage counselor & it didn't work, my husband just keeps verbally & emotionally abusing me & he's been an asshole for 3 years after having our 3 year old son.

I was with my husband the other day in his truck. He asked me where a pair of tweezers where that he had in the truck. I said I don't know. He has them in there because he actually uses them to pull out nose hairs and said the out door light is better. What showed up in the drink cup holder was a tiny pair of baby nail clippers. He is 60 and I am 55 we do not have any grand kids or small children in our lives. I feel uncomfortable about it now cause I think he has not bean faithful through our 36 year marriage. When I said where did these come from he said you must have put them in here. I know I did not. I asked where they came from and he said he did not know. I know someone had to put them in the truck and he said he did not and I know I didn't.

me and my husband have been married for 7 months and i am now pregnant with my first child. i love my husband and feel comfortable around him, but not to the point where i can burp or fart in front of him lol. i just get shy or embarrassed to do that in front of ANYONE, like even my own siblings. i just dont like to do any weird or gross things with anyone because thats just my shy personality. i always always have to look perfect in front of my husband. and now i literally panic everyday because in a few months i will be giving birth in front of him. i will literally poop on the bed in front of him. ill look like **** as im screaming and pushing the baby out. it terrifies me. has anyone ever felt the same?

I found out through a third party that my husband MAY have to work again this Saturday. It's not certain if he is even one of the ones that will be coming to finish up here, since he's already been moved to another project. The problem is that I am on a deadline. I've been begging him for weeks to watch the kids (twin toddlers), so I can run to the mall for a couple of hours. We have an event on Sunday, and I don't have anything appropriate that meets the dress code. I have a gorgeous dress that I plan to wear, but it has spaghetti straps, so I need a jacket for it--and of course--shoes. His response has always been, "We'll go as a family, since I want stuff to. We'll go on the weekend." Well, the weekend rolls around, then it comes, "We'll go next weekend. There's too many chores we need to do around the house."This has gone for weeks. And God forbid I take a day off from work or take a long lunch to run out. I even looked online to purchase online, but then there's the whole "what if it doesn't fit" cr*p. We're a bi-racial family. In his culture, it's the woman's responsibility to tend to the children, and she is expected to take them with her if she has to run errands. Has anyone tried taking twin 2 year olds shopping at the mall? OMG! Even going to Walmart is an ordeal. If I had a double stroller, it'd be no problem. But, my controlling husband said we don't have the space for it, and it's too expensive. The babysitter has said she'll gladly watch the kids on a weekend if something comes, but we have to give her at least a week's notice. Like me, she plans her weekends in advance. And now that she has a newborn granddaughter, anything short of a week's notice would just be rude. It doesn't help that my husband LIES to me about weekend work, and doesn't actually tell me when DOES have to work until the Friday (the night) before. Before you judge, you should know that he uses work to skirt his responsibilities to his family. He prefers to be at work, rather than at home spending time with the kids. When he is around, he is always on social media. And furthermore, I do not have a skewed set of my priorities. The event we have is a ceremony of my declaration of conversion into the church of my husband's faith. This decision was not easy, but I felt in my heart is right for my family. So, therefore, being dressed appropriately is more important than extra hours at work, especially when the income earned only goes to restock his beer supply or to buy useless cr*p we will never use nor need.

My husband told me he wanted a divorce, that he didn't want to work on his marriage, etc. He has said everything in the book to suggest he doesn't want to be married. Every time I talk about it he ignores me. Literally texted him all day about it and he didn't respond to not 1 of the msgs but responds to other things like stuff to get for our son or to let me know he isn't dating anyone. Why say you want a divorce and not put forth any action. & it cant be that he doesn't want 1 b/c I've suggested working on our relationship. He still says no. So, what is it?

Let's say that someone wants their spouse to dress up. He can say that she doesn't "respect herself" enough and she should dress up so she can prove to the world that she is worthy of respect. The woman doesn't want to dress up, but because she values being "respected" she dresses up anyways. Her husband "respects" her by giving her a compliment (which she felt she was owed because of what she did). In the end, the man controlled her and rewarded her for obliging. While the woman looks great, she only values the outfit because what it is SUPPOSED to give her in exchange. Let's go further. Let's say that a woman ENTERS marriage believing that if she dresses up then she is ENTITLED to respect (since she's respecting herself). In this example, if the man does not value a woman looking dressed up then he will NOT respect her. When the woman can't convince the man she is entitled to respect, she gets angry and they have an ongoing marital dispute because she took it personal that they did not have SHARED beliefs. Okay even further now. Let's say that both the man and the woman both agree on the same definition of respect. Does anyone else see this as robbing the man of giving a genuine compliment? Think about it - if compliments her that she looks great, even if it was genuine, she will not think twice that it wasn't out of respect. Thus, respect ROBS a man of being a good person (because it's expected). This is why my wife and I don't play by the rules. Are we wrong? For those who are going to say people WANT to respect people and that's why they do it bite your tongue. Most people respect people because they WANT respect back. In other words, most people aren't doing it out of love or out of genuine authenticity, they are doing it because (a) they have to or else accountability or (b) they know they won't get respect if they don't respect them first - as in, they know it's a mind game. In other words, respect is fake; just like the other norms/etiquettes. AND TO LET YOU KNOW --- THIS OVERTHINKING IS NOT MY DOING -- I'M JUST REFLECTING BACK SOME OF THE ADVICE THAT I HAVE RECEIVED ON HERE. RESPECT LOOKS SILLY WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT THIS WAY DOESN'T IT?

i'm kinda clumsy and i want to know the rules of the game. i wanna be a good husband.

I have full custody of my two teenage boys. I work full-time and pay for their health insurance and all of their major expenses. The boys do spend every weekend with their mother (Friday night through Sunday night). This weekend, my ex asked me to give her one-third of my tax refund (around $300), since, as she puts it, I was able to claim the boys as dependents and use the "Head of Household" status. I need some thoughts and perspective on this matter. I have worked hard to maintain an amicable relationship with my ex / the boys' mother, but I am reluctant to give her any money that she's not entitled to receive. Also, a few other things: I am fortunate enough to be able to handle her request. Also, she doesn't work (her husband does, but his pay is "under the table"). Any thoughts or different points of view on this matter would be appreciated. Thank you.

at the moment i am 24 and my wife is 25. i added her on fb when i was 15 and she was 16 i did not know her at all. she went to a high school that was about a 30 minute drive from mines. and cities like 40 minutes apart i added her because i though she was really pretty and i liked her body. i talked to her then a few weeks later we meet eachother and yeah., we started dating. i would go most of the time to her school on the academy school bus and spend all day over there till night i came home. we have never broken up. we got married when i was 21. we have a 4 year old son now. i am a senior in college and she is already working on her career job, registered nurse my question is,, is this wierd? like i dont know anyone else who has had a thing like this/ i dont see it in movies either. like are we like weird? lol

I'm with a man who controls everything in my life. I'm not allowed to go anywhere by myself except to work, he watches what I do on the internet, I have to give all my money to him, I don't get to have a cell phone, and no bank account. And to top it off he moved us 50 miles from anyone I know. Is that normal?

Didn't childhood teach you anything about life? A life without fun, a sense of humor, silliness, and entertainment is a life vulnerable to be crushed by the realities of life? Escapism is what makes modern day, 1st world country life great. Without a daily dose of escapism, you are left with the mundane, unrewarding, thankless, unappreciated, and depressing reality of your life. This is why I truly believe that life is a game; because if you see life as a competition or anything else, you are going to succumb to more and more of that dreadful feeling that life isn't worth living without power, status, wealth, and prestige (which is not true). I'm a gamifier and a gamer. I believe that life needs to be fun (pleasurable) in order to be "living". I'm a strong supporter of "Habitica" which is a website/app that lets you make real life a video game. I'm also going to read Jane McGonigal's book about gamification so I can see how to make real life less broken (her Ted Talks are great). But this experience on Yahoo! Answers (prior to yesterday) was grueling. Each and every one of you take life, romance, sex, and your marriage WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. I stopped, and my marriage GREAT again! But how did this happen to you? No, WHY did this happen? Did you seriously think this was a rite of passage to becoming an adult? Did you seriously believe you HAD to do this to be taken seriously in life? Anyone ever tell you that you are as old as you act/feel? Seriously, why so serious?

I ve been in a partial abusive relationship for 8 years. I have 2 kids for my husband. I left him last year. He wants me back but promises he ll never hit me again and he s sorry for peeing in my hair and bursting my eardrum. He says that he s changed. It kinda asked but I can still he where he still thinks like a kid and he is still ignorant. On the other hand there is this guy I know for years. We started talking and have developed a growing love for each other. He has been great to me. Have never told me what to do concerning my husband but I know he is hoping we will have a future together. Twoweeks ago I started seeing my husband again and we started having sex. I'm not sure if I'm having sex because of my needs but I know in my heart I have love for my friend and I hope to have a future with him someday. Should I go back to my husband( I have started filling for divorce) or should I take my time and pursue something with this other guy in the future

I was with my husband for 10 years we have 2 young kids together. Out of the 10 yrs we been married 6 and I've been unhappy off and on for 8 1/2. In a nutshell my husband has burst my eardrum, peed in my hair while sleeping, throw a bottle of chlorox on me, call me cheap whore, control who I talk to on my phone, has not given me money for me nor my kids, is always drinking and going out with friends etc. Over the years I got tired, but late last year I left him. I met someone else but he is a Christian. he is falling in love with me and Im falling in love with him and I have started filing for divorce from my husband. Someone broke into my house I called my husband to inform him and from there we started talking again and we start having sex again. He has told me that he has changed and he made a lot of mistakes. Part of me doesnt love him because I rememberr the way he hut me but I feel sorry for him and Im in that mode of supposed he has changed. He still curses me if I take too long to answer my phone, but he acts so charming like he knows what he did wrong. but he found out that Im seeing someone and has told me my church friend is going to hell because we re committing adultery so he is a fake church man. My friend has shown his devotion to God and to me and my kids within this whole ordeal. The only thing that bothers me is that I am married so why would he want me.

In my imagination I had a wonderful love story before I married my husband, unfortunately I discovered after few years of marriage that my love was the blind love, and my husband doesn't love me. years after years I started to notice that he can care less about what I need what i want and what i feel. I tried talking to him and everytime we do , he replys thats just me take it or leave it. but we have a baby, and thinking of leaving because of that would be so selfish. things start to be meaningless. we watch TV together nothing else. but few months ago I stopped having any feelings for him. and I told him few days ago of that. and asked him why you just let things get that cold. I just can not keep trying and trying while you are not doing anything to save this marriage, he told me well just ask me to leave you and I will never hold you back or make you live with me against your will. He told me (I love you but I'm not that person that get attached to things or people). He is not cheating on me physically because he never leave the house. I mean never !!! he is home 24/7. so I"m safe but he has his way of talking to girls on the internet. at this point i'm confused ! and i'm angry and i'm frustrated and i'm a lot of different things.. but i know for sure that I'm not happy.

I'd love to travel. We have taken some vacations, but usually it is to a town that we both enjoy. Beyond that, he won't go on a cruise, doesn't care about the East coast states, Europe (due to ISIS), which I totally understand. I always thought going to the Kentucky Derby would be fun too or even the horse farms. If I mention any of the above, he says to me, "See ya."

My husband is going on and on about Trump's wife, Melania's beauty. One example, "Boy, if I had a wife that looked like that." I keep myself in shape and stay slim and to stay attractive. I am sure Melania married Trump out of love (sarcasm).

Apparently I had a dream last night and said something that my wife immediately analyzed. From what she told me this morning I uttered the phrase, "who is she talking to now?" First of all she comes into the room with this little smirk on her face saying, "you know you talked in your sleep last night. You must have been having a really nice dream." I honestly don't remember it but she stood there waiting on me to ask her, "well, what did I say?" At 5:45 in the morning I could care less what I said. She goes on to say, "I've learned that when someone says that they are talking about an ex girlfriend or someone they've slept with and may still have feelings for." The reason I say I married the smartest woman in the world my wife, who has no formal degree at all outside a high school diploma was once told by one of our marriage counselors that she was very intuitive. Being intuitive doesn't mean you're right. It just means you notice things. She's the type to have a dream about me and some other woman and then wakes up mad at me because of her dream. I told her that uttering that phrase doesn't necessarily mean I'm thinking about some other woman. It could just mean, "who is she talking to now?" My wife likes to make these assessments based on this fact, "well, it's been my experience . . . . . ." I looked at her and said, "oh, you've done a sleep study and you have the results to prove it?" Over-educated and under-degreed!!!! I'm one class away from a master's degree and I would never make that assessment on someone based on a few words uttered while they were sleep. I mean, really. Did I marry the smartest woman in the world?

I was with my husband for 10 years we have 2 young kids together. Out of the 10 yrs we been married 6 and I've been unhappy off and on for 8 1/2. In a nutshell my husband has burst my eardrum, peed in my hair while sleeping, throw a bottle of chlorox on me, call me cheap whore, control who I talk to on my phone, has not given me money for me nor my kids, is always drinking and going out with friends etc. Over the years I got tired, but late last year I left him. I met someone else but he is a Christian. he is falling in love with me and Im falling in love with him and I have started filing for divorce from my husband. Someone broke into my house I called my husband to inform him and from there we started talking again and we start having sex again. He has told me that he has changed and he made a lot of mistakes. Part of me doesnt love him because I rememberr the way he hut me but I feel sorry for him and Im in that mode of supposed he has changed. He still curses me if I take too long to answer my phone, but he acts so charming like he knows what he did wrong. but he found out that Im seeing someone and has told me my church friend is going to hell because we re committing adultery so he is a fake church man. My friend has shown his devotion to God and to me and my kids within this whole ordeal. The only thing that bothers me is that I am married so why would he want me. I am still afraid of him because sometimes I answer I feel like he is going to hit me.

so you get married to a 25 year old woman and she gives birth to a daughter. you never have to change any diapers or wake up late because she does all the child care so you can sleep for work. she washes the dish's, the clothes, the floors, the dogs, maintains the yard, and teachs your daughter all her daily lessons like shapes colors and numbers. you come home and alls you have to do is sit their at the television or computer or gaming console and relax wile she brings you drinks and dinner. im this way with my husband and we have been together six years. but im being called lazy. in fact lately I am so depressed I kinda want to ventilate my head. I feel like he see's me like a financial burden not a wife. am I wrong? he doesn't want me to get a job. I also cook for and clean up after my 19 year old stepson.so basically i am cleaning up after 2 grown men and getting called lazy from time to time.i hear it about 3times a month now or any time we get into an arguement. Wich is about every 3days because he will say something incredibly rude to me and then act like i shouldnt be upset about it. @Mermeliz. I dont know who taught you about how women talk but news flash usually women have equal vocabularies to men in western societies .your assumptions about women are incorrect as well as sexist. please dont reproduce for the well being of all humans in your immediate area till you spend time with more female humans.you need more human interaction with the opposite gender if your male.if your female however just go read some books about depression and think before you type.That is all

like an arranged marriage is it better to wait a little in marriage and not get a baby or get a baby so he can stay with you and not fight alot..

I always hear people, including my teachers, complaining about being married. I don't know if it's just a joke, or something to poke fun at cuz they're bored. but I want to know if people really think marriage is that bad? what are the downsides of marriage that make people think badly of it? I'm sorry if this is a dumb question but this thought has been bothering me for a while now thanks for reading<3

I can't keep my eyes off her. I'm thinking of making out with her on my lunch break, what do you think? Do you think my wife would mind? Oh, wait, I work with my wife. Hey, it IS my wife, lol, funny me.

My husband has only gone to 2 meetings and I've experienced lying, irritable moods and arguments. At times I feel like I have to tough so he can be accountable for his actions. But then I realize that he isn't going to change over night. How do I be supportive and sensitive without being a floor mat? I don't want him to hide behind the addiction.

I have been married for 20 yrs and my husband finally left me for another woman. Throughout our marriage I have discovered that he molested a 15 yr old friend of ours and she never reported it. He has also solicited men on Craigslist for sex our entire marriage and when I finally found out he said that he was a sex addict and we went to counseling. Now that we are getting a divorce I see that none of his sexual addictive behaviors have changed and I am afraid for the well being of my children. They are 17 and 13. I live in ca so it is a non fault divorce state but can I keep my children away from hi. Due to his reckless behavior?

He watches it when I'm upset at him. He of course will hide it from me and lie about it but I find out. Instead of dealing with the argument and trying to resolve it why does he do this?

My husband was working out with his best friend for a while. Things ended up not working out so well after about a year and so hubby signed up at my gym and we have been working out just the two of us. Every once in a while (once every two week to a month), he wants to go to this friend s house to work out. His friend works at a gym so his workouts are ridiculous and long. With the three of us it takes three freaking hours to get a workout in. Then there is usually an hour or more of time AFFER we work out to go get something to eat. I have never been a big fan of this friend, so I have always said no to the invitation. My husband will BEG me to go with him and I explain to him how much I dislike being there for so long and just like to get my workouts done and move on with my day. He has gone a few times without me, but he makes me feel rather guilty for not going. Is it wrong of me to not want to go with him ever? I just dislike it so much! I hate that going there takes such a huge chunk of my day and with a person I am not very fond of, nevertheless.

My wife and I have been married for about a year and a half. We live with my in laws because her and I are on hard times, but we will be moving out soon. We have our own mini-apartment within my in laws house. I think her and her mom are way too close. She said it's different with a daughter-mother relationship. I'd like opinions, and please specify if you are male or female. Her mom is a control freak, there's no doubt about that. What's worse is, is that it is very rare for my wife to give my MIL wrong, as a matter of fact, when my wife and I argue about her, I call her Saint Debbie I. But as far as my wife goes, my MIL will open the door a crack when my wife is in the shower (we don't have curtains, we have a see through) to ask my wife something that can easily wait 10 minutes. Just last week, I walked in my bedroom and my wife and MIL were laying in bed together talking (on top of the sheets, not in the covers). But I was weirded out by that and my wife could've cared less about how I felt. She gave me the same "you don't understand because you've never had a mother-daughter relationship" thing. I tried telling her that it's just not normal to lay in bed with your mom at 26 years old. My MIL has no problem getting involved in arguments between my wife and I. Am I unreasonable? If not, does anyone have advice on how to get my wife to cut the umbilical cord?