So now I am married .  Been married 19 years to another man and I cannot get the other man out of my head and I am tired of it.  I recently heard of emdr therapy.  What do you think, should I do it?  Am I completely pathetic for trying to change how I feel for someone I cant have?  I am so afraid I am going to die a super old age of talk crazy talk to my kids about some man they never heard of.  Or on my death bed regret I was never with him.  I want to say no I was happy but this man is always on my thoughts.  And I know he loves me too.  I could tell him about it and he could be better too.  

We are 46 and 47 I have a child. He doesn't. Before I moved in, he asked me to marry him. He wanted to make sure we were headed in the same direction as marriage. Repeatedly he talked about it, wanted his wife to decorate the house, his wife to pick out things to hang on the wall. He took me to look at wedding gowns. We talked about what our wedding would look like.  I moved in...his brother died shortly after ( 2 months later, it was expected). He quit talking about it. I've asked him about it and wanted to know why he doesn't talk about it. He says he doesn't know. He says, he doesn't have an answer. I asked straight out. Do you still want to get married..."I know you still do." That was it. It's been 3 years. No ring. Men? I don't know what to think or do. Help. Opinions. 

My ex and I were together 4yrs. We have a 1yr old daughter. We broke up last month due to him having anger issues and me not wanting my daughter's in that toxic enviorment of him screaming in anger. I was never hit. But it gets very verbal. I've had my  parts in the fights but in spurts. I can be silent while he's going crazy but eventually it comes out and it becomes a screaming match. I told him he needs counseling because he has alot of anger from childhood and has always had a short fuse. I also want to get counseling becasue I personally feel like I should not emotionally be able to disconnect from h when mad so easy. I DO NOT want to continue the relationship without us getting professional help to learn how to communicate and not have these blow ups. He's looking into taking anger management but I'm wondering does couples counseling also teach ways to cope with everything where struggling with including anger and triggers but also teaching us how to communicate. I'd like us to be able to work together in fixing the issues but neither of us have ever been to counseling to no what to expect. Does it make sence for him to take anger management and me take my own personal therapy. Or for us to take couples and parenting counseling together if it will cover all issues as well?

Was it bad?  Were they co dependent.   Curious to hear your stories

I have family and friends who used to be fit and good looking. Now they are like fat... How is the sex ever good after marriage if you don't have the physical fitness and stamina to workout the sex? Sex requires alot of physical contact.. And if you are fat and out of breath, how do you enjoy sex? 

There's this guy I have a crush on I'm 39 , he's 45 , we used to work together , he literally flirted and chased me so to speak until I left the company .i left the company on a bad note , I'm suing the company , plus an EEOC investigation is ongoing , so from what so have Been told ,no one from the company should be in contact with me , however  It's been four months since I left , and this particular guy still lurks my social media pages everyday , have sent mutual coworkers , friends , and network associates to add me as friends on social media and even call or text me , but yet he he's the reached out , what does this mean , should I just move on or give him him time to reach out , because I'm definitely it reaching out to him , nor chasing him , that's just never going to happen 

suppose you are a 35 year old man and a woman is not your type.  And you are not attracted to her and she has different mindset from you.   Suppose you are an outdoor guy and she is more like a shopping girl.  Can you make a relationship with this type of woman? @David: if you are divorced, then you couldnt made the "love relationship".  BTW I have no preference on the color of the hair.  My type is more like her interests and the attitude.

We've been together for 4 years; I asked him about having kids, and he said he doesn't want to have any. I am 35 he is 57. 

My step children and their mother are making my life a living hell. Their mother hates that I am in my husbands life so much that she has made claims of sexual abuse naming my son as the abuser, coached the kids, and had DCS involved. A forensic interviewer determined that there was no abuse and that the kids were coached, but she still withheld visits for about a year. Now, the kids are doing the same things (manipulation) and no one believes their father or I. The oldest son (11yrs) comes over and tells us that he is finding drugs in his house, his stepdad is abusing him, mom is harming him and asking other people to spank him. When he goes home, he tells his mother that we are telling him these same things, as if he received the information that he told us from us! He plays with my kids when he is here, but when he goes home, he gets on the games and chats with them and says really mean things and triggers my son (14yrs) and causes my son to tell him off, and then the stepson screenshots or screen records, says "this is going to make for a really popular video" and then shows his mom while playing a victim.  He has asked my kids to get my debit card so that he can use it on Roblox to buy things.  They of course told me, but ex wife doesn't believe it. I am not sure how, because he just got her for $185 with her debit card. This feels like an impossible situation. What does one do?  In-laws cant admit to child doing wrong, they actually said that he is incapable of lying!

My mother seems to thrive on conflict and drama. My husband and I live 14 hours away and since we arrived in town the entire trip has been nothing but her talking about how terrible of a person her friend Linda is.  My mom invited Linda and her husband out for dinner on NYE and they agreed then called my mother back and said they were going out with other friends and that my mother needed to find something else to do.  That has set my mother off the ENTIRE time we've been here. Just today at 10AM this women's name has been brought up 13 times!!! (We counted) since we woke up. My husband has asked her politely to not bring it up, I've asked her politely to not bring it up. She will then tell us we don't love or care about her and starts literally screaming at my husband and I because we won't listen to her. It's absolutely sickening. We are her till January 2nd but I'm not sure how much more I can honestly take!! My husband has now threatened to get on a plane and leave early. I don't want to leave my mom as it's the holidays but it's literally making me ill having to hear this women's name EVERYDAY!!! Any advice? Should I just leave it she can't respect me and my wishes? I listened the first few times but it's the same story over and over and over again!!!

What will they (exes) think of him behind his back as they have banged his wife before him and knows everything about his wife's parts

My ex husbands aunt is 90 years old. Three years ago I divorced my ex husband, but we didn't tell his aunt because of the pain it would cause her to know that. She sends my ex husband, me and our two kids Christmas money each year. My ex refuses to give me my share of the money because he said I'm not part of his family anymore. But his aunt has no idea about our divorce, shouldn't he give me my portion?

Would she ever respect or value her virgin husband who accepted her after she got intimated with many partners? Or will she always dominate him for his inexperience by threatening him to compare him with her exes or by telling him that he is less manly than her exes to others?

My husband basically acts like my 4yr old is a burden and he's so volatile all the time. I'm afraid to leave my son around him by himself because of how man he is to him. Some days are better than others but 90% of the time It's horrible being around him. We've only been married for 5 months and I'm 3 months pregnant today. What should I do? He was nice before then when my son came back from being with his father he changed.

I noticed that this issue isn't so uncommon when I spoke to a few friends but I feel like my Mom is a little more extreme than other moms when it comes to this. Basically we are newlyweds, of course my wife moved in with us. Its me, my mom, and sister. I orginally planned to move out prior to marriage but figured eh its just my mom and sister in a whole house to ourselves and that I'd move out after recovering the marriage expenses. Anyways to the issue at hand here. Anytime me and my wife go out on a dinner date, or even just as little as doing personal shopping together, same thing, all hell breaks loose. I get it, my mom sees this woman taking care of me, and I take my wife out and whatnot, I totally understand my mom feeling left out. But I try my best to balance things like taking my mom and sister out with us as a family outing but that still doesn't seem to help at all. Im torn in the middle and do not know what to do, my wife is understanding through all this but its just so embarrassing at the same time. Any advice? Thanks in advance.

My husband's father lives 5 hours away from us. He comes and stays with us over the holidays. I like him, but he always stays too long. I don't want my husband to either get mad that I want him to leave or have my husband think I don't like his father. But, he's been here now for 5 nights, and with two young kids, one of which has to sleep on the couch while he's here, he's just here too long. Any ideas on how to deal with this without making my husband think I hate his father or without making my husband think that I'm just being a *****....? 

Can anyone mathematically calculate the amount of years it would take for the husband to reach to her level of 14 yrs experience. Options.  A. It would take 14 yrs for him as well.    B. It would take more than 14 yrs because he has to gain experience from only one partner(wife) while the wife got tons of partners to gain.  C. He will never reach her level as its impossible for him to learn everything from one partner unlike her.  D. By the time he reaches her levelthey would get very old and would already lose interest in intimacy. Vote.

We have been married for 8 years now. 18 month old son. Past few years have been difficult. Especially her anger management. She can be violent and nasty with her words when angry. Got out of control when our son was 6 months old and I called the cops. She beat up her mum and smashed the home, assaulted me and broke my phone etc. Has since improved a bit. Her aunty said that her father was very violent in the home when she was growing up. I tend to push people's buttons with my behaviours sometimes and my wife already has the anger problem. Mostly directed at me and I haven't seen it really directed at others. She can seem to control it. Sometimes make me feel dumb, stupid etc. Just today she was complaining about our house again. It's messy and we are trying to paint the rooms. She said she would rather live alone and I'm too fat for her etc. I have put some weight on but it's under control and I'm losing it. My height hides it a lot. I'm just sick of feeling down. Want to take back control of my life, be faster and keep the family together...I think she is saying verbal abuse because she was fine after saying those words and we are shopping for hone improvements.

My Ex remarried and slowly but surely calls became less and less the visits became less and less eventually he just stopped reaching out. My boys were sad that not only did their dad not reach out on their birthday this month but also on Christmas. No call no gift or nothing! Has anyone been thru this and did he eventually come around?