Family: Question: Should I have concerns about my godfather?

Question: Should I have concerns about my godfather?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:59 PM PST

For a long time now I have felt so uncomfortable around him, things started small and have got worse over time. And it seems to be getting worse towards my 18th.. He can be really flirty at times, tickling me, playing with my hair, trying to play footsy with me under the table buying me alcohol ect. But lately he has been controlling and trying to cause some sort of wedge between me and mum, we even got in a argument and he was shouting at me, saying I should walk out on my mum and saying to my dad all sorts of things like I shoulded spend time with my mum or family for Christmas and my birthday. And he s always getting on to my dad cause he always sticks up for him, he also said I should go town and he can pick me up. I ve just been on the phone to my nan and she said she s just gone and got him a spare key into my dads house where I stay, where I m really upset about. Any advice on this?

Question: Do you believe her?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:54 PM PST

My sister visits with her daughter Trisha often. Trisha is seven years old. We allow Trisha to play in her top and underpants being I only have the one neighbor down the road who also thinks Trisha looks cute in her undies. Trisha just feel comfortable in her nylon briefs more comfortable then shorts. I think this is okay really cause it is just family . My problem is with the neighbor Olivia. She was nosy and it kind of upsets me. Trisha had misbehaved and my brother in law sat down in a chair and gave her a spanking. Olivia when we met at the market told us when she was walking her dog that she seen Trisha across Daddy's lap. She then commented on my niece's underpants. Olivia said "I could hear Daddy's hand spanking the little ones nylon panty". Which means she was nosy and sneaked up to our porch! Trisha got spanked for a minute or so but it was not in anyway loud or hard. What should I tell Olivia now I think she was being nosy??

Question: Help i was assaulted?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:46 PM PST

I got assaulted and over heard the person saying how they were gonna get rid of evidence that could help me. To protect the person that hurt me.. What would u do.

Question: My sibling did something horrible to me?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:43 PM PST

My mother knows that my sibling tried to kill me but she is covering up for her! My sister went behind my back telling people i molested her child i never did that!! She wont go to the police! I think she molested ger own child!! Y wont she just go to the police? I got raped because of these accusations she called My job making these accusations. She called everywhere but the cops! My mother is going about saying im a pedofile to anybody who would listen!but the cops! Then when i try to confornt them they tell me im crazy. Y lie like that? Plz give me some advice. They wont come with me to take a lie detector test

Question: Need help setting boundaries with my mother!?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:39 PM PST

Question: I need help to set boundaries with my mom.?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:37 PM PST

My mom is a narcissistic manipulative guilt working person who wants me to always be co-dependent on her. She does not let me make any of my own decisions Financial or personal decisions that just need moving in with my boyfriend. I feel I should be able to make my own decisions as a 28 year old woman. I asked her to make a list of boundaries because she always feels disrespected she said no that that was absolutely ridiculous and she s not going to do it. However I want to make a list of my own boundaries but I m having trouble finding boundaries because I ve never had boundaries Pryor so if you could please help me that be great thank you so much.

Question: My mother and sister is destroying my life?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:31 PM PST

Question: Little sister is physically abusive. What do I do?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:23 PM PST

I'm 13 years old, and my sister is about 10. I was always kind towards her, but never got much kindness in return. For the past 2 years she has been making these rude comments when I speak to her (Ex. shut up, stop being so annoying). She acts like she is entitled to anything she wants, and often resorts to physical violence if she doesn't get her way. The last straw was today. My sister is doing homework on the living room computer (she also has a personal computer she can do it on) and I decide to practice piano. She immediately tells me to stop, and I explain that this was one of the only times during the day I could practice. She walks over and starts hitting me and scratching me, then runs back the hallway. I continue playing, and I hear banging. As i walk back to my room, i see that she has taken all of the linens off of my bed and is trying to walk away. I tell her to please make my bed, and she starts to kick me in the knees and groin, smacking and scratching me when I don't let her walk away. I ask her, in a very calm tone mind you, to talk in a civilized manner (she is sobbing and screaming at me rn). She proceeds to SLAM her head into the wall. Full force. She continues to hit me and scratch me, and goes back to do her homework. Should i talk to my parents about this? It has been going on for quite some time now with similar scenarios, and i'm becoming quite frustrated. How would i confront my parents about it? Thanks so much for the help :)

Question: Don't know what to do about my son who is dating an older woman?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:20 PM PST

My son, who is 21, is dating a woman who is 16 years his senior! And I don't know what to do about it. Obviously he's a grown adult now and I cannot involve myself in his love life but I struggle to understand why he would want to date this woman or why she would want to date my son? She's a pretty girl and I guess she doesn't look 37 so maybe that's why my son is attracted to her? But I don't understand how they can have anything in common. He's in college and she's got a career, her own house, an ex husband a whole life and my sons is just beginning. I want my son to realise that this relationship can't work but I don't want him to think I'm just interfering and be stubborn about it.

Question: Are 5th cousins close as in blood relation and genes?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 01:04 PM PST

Question: Hi, I ve been turned down for a banding of the council and can t afford private rent, I m living in a house share that I can t cope with?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 12:30 PM PST

Question: What should I do?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 12:25 PM PST

I'm starting to get really depressed about all the drama going on my house it's mostly cuz of my crazy sister .. She's literally crazy . She's did a lot of drugs and she is no longer the sister I knew , last night my parents found her on the floor in room twitching and foam coming from her from . Then she started saying she was a possessed by demons and she wants to kill us . My parents are really religious people and just prayed for her . They didn't even take her to the hospital or anything. I wanna move the **** out but it's hard finding a job I'm 18 currently in high school . I can't take it man I need , I'm scared she might hurt my twin brother or my parent's

Question: Im upset that he doesnt care about us spending Thanksgiving together. Am I wrong?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 12:12 PM PST

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months. Im 29- hes 34. We recently moved in together. He mentioned us getting engaged around Christmas. However, this is our first Holiday Season together. His Mom lives in another state and is about 2 hours away. She is hosting Thanksgiving and all his brothers who are younger and not married will be there. My mom and Dad are having Thanksgiving and just a few of my cousins ( Im an only child). My mom gave me a hard time saying we are not engaged yet and he obviously wants to go to his Moms..so i should be with my family. I do want to be with my family--but the thing that upsets me most is that he doesnt seem to be bothered we wont be spending Thanksgiving together. He doesnt see his family much so I get he doesnt want to miss out on a family gathering..but when i told him Im not sure if I would go with him--he was just like ok..no problem. One of his older female coworkers who is 55 and doesnt have any family around..lives by his mom and will be joining them too..i feel left out. He was on the phone telling her all about it. He even went on to staying he may stay overnight --and i said it would be nice to see you at least the night of Thanksgiving. Should i be upset or is this normal for a couple about to be engaged? I feel im more willing to miss out on my family to be with him--then he is for me. Granted we will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together.

Question: How do I get over feeling sad that my extended family is not really family (just friends)?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:54 AM PST

My mother had a falling out with her family and they disowned us. Her mother apparently was a narcissist though I was 6 when I saw her last and did not sense anything wrong. I never have met my Dad and thus never met anyone in his family. He was a deadbeat and left my mother when she got pregnant. All I know is I look like him which I hate. So my Mom has friends we do holidays and stuff with but there is no family. Her friends all have kids that are a whole lot older and so sometimes we see them other times it is just she and I (like Christmas this year will just be the two of us). All my friends talk about grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.... and I see it on here a lot also. Yet I have no one except my Mom and I. I have anxiety issues so it is hard to make friends and family would have been easy because of the automatic bond. Instead I was 6 when I last saw a single relative other then one cousin of my Mom's I saw once. We didn't even go to my grandfather's funeral last year. So how do I get over feeling so sad about this especially on holidays each year. Christmas and Thanksgiving would mean so much more if we had family. If my mother ever dies it is just me. I am 15.

Question: My aunt doesn't speak to us anymore because my parents helped her daughter she disowned. Should I still count her as family?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:42 AM PST

I don't mean biologically does she count as my Mom's sister but emotionally should I count herself and her other two kids (both grown). Or should I just have nothing further to do with them. She got divorced and on top of that disowned her daughter as the daughter was not close to perfect like the other two kids (one is perfect and the other is severely disabled with Down Syndrome so unable to do wrong and in a home). Her ex sees the kids only on occasion (he is an alcoholic) so the daughter my parents have to holidays and stuff like that. As a result my aunt disowned us but was polite the one time I have seen her since at a wedding. So do I attempt to keep in touch with this aunt and her other two kids or do I just count all 3 as ex-family. It has been 4 years since the fight after she cut the daughter out. The daughter's issues were that she had trust issues after being molested by someone on the other side of her family and also in high school she was with the wrong crowd and not the best student. Now she is much better accept I think she still has the trust issues.

Question: Is it likely that I will live a long time?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:39 AM PST

Assuming that I don't die of some accidental death first. When I was born, all of my great-grandparents will still alive as well as some great-great-grandparents. I'm in my 20's and all of my grandparents are alive and in pretty good health and I still have two living great-grandmothers on my mom's side. I also take pretty good care of myself :-)

Question: My mum is working me too hard?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:35 AM PST

Me and my sister are 12 and 14, and we started doing chores ages ago. I did the dishwasher and my sister did the washing machine which was fine. My sister goes out a lot, because she's into theatre and does a lot of plays, so many days a week she's not in to do her chores. My dad goes away to different countries a lot, and in the summer holiday I volunteered to do the cooking because I had nothing else to do but now whenever he goes away I always have to do it, which means I don't have time to do schoolwork as my mum expects meals of a high standard. So, most days I end up doing the dishes, the washing, the cooking, tidying and cleaning. Bearing in mind my mum doesn't have a job, and is home all day. During the daytime she finds time to prepare herself food (and then leave he bowls out for me to clean up) and there's not reason she doesn't in the evening. My dads home now,and I still do the work. My mum just yelled at me because she went to pick up my sister from a theatre thing and told me to make her and us and my dad separate meals whilst she's gone (which was t very long) and I didn't manage to by the time she'd gotten back. She was annoyed and told me to 'f*** off' and I went upstairs. She immediately ly called me back down to clean the sink. The thing is, she's still an amazing Mum when she's not making me do the work, but I find myself falling behind in school, not getting sleep and not having time to shower and things like that. What should I do?

Question: Grandma refuses to behave at the holidays, keeps causing drama?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:23 AM PST

My grandma is in her mid 90s. She still has a good mind, drives, etc. The thing is, she also is very critical and has been this way since I was a kid. Her thing is to come into someone else's home (where she was invited for dinner, etc) and tell them how "nasty" their house looks (even if the most expensive maid in town was hired cleaned it), criticize their spouse, pets, kids, etc. She did this to my mom when I was a kid and now does it at my house. If she is told to "keep her mouth shut", she finds something else to fuss about (last time it was that I hugged and kissed my husband in my own home). It is my baby's 1st Thanksgiving and Christmas and I want my mom and grandma to come, but my mom is refusing because she said she cant guarantee that her mother will keep her mouth shut and be nice. What can I do ?

Question: Why don't my liberal commie parents approve of my ideas?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:11 AM PST

I'm 20 and they're like 50 and they're some Christian liberal hippie commies who get upset when I tell them I'm a neoconservative and devil worshiper who's ultimate goal is to become a minion of the Antichrist. Like when they talk about how awful Republicans are and I tell them that in my opinion potheads should be given harsher prison sentences and that America should lay waste to the god damn Russkies they get all upset. It doesn't upset them as much as when I tell them I desire to go to hell to be with my lord and savior Satan though. They sent me to a Christian school as a child where I was bullied relentlessly and that's what turned me devil worshiper so if they want to blame someone they only have themselves.

Question: Is it okay to disown a daughter if she became a porn star or prostitute?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:10 AM PST

If I put so much effort into raising a child to be a decent person,then they choose to do something like porn, I would disown them.

Question: I currently live with my mother and she tells me to do everything no stop?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:09 AM PST

Hello I really need an answer because me and my girlfriend are currently sleeping in my moms living room on a couch that turns in to a bed, and ebrrsince I could remember she asked me to do everything around the house since I was 12-13 she tells me what to do non stop and she never does anything around the house she tells me to clean the whole entire house by myself and what makes it worse enough is that I have 2 brothers that live in the house and she only asks me to do the work around the house she just sits on the couch everyday and tell me to go and get her things she even tells me to go grocery shopping for her like the other day I was sitting down with my gf and she was telling me "oh your brother was supposed to take some pants to your aunts house but he didn t so I just told her you were gonna do it" like I have to do what she tells me , and when I tried to tell her how I felt a out her telling me do to stuff the next day she continued and she is not disabled in any way she is just in her 300 pounds and her knee is a little bad but half the time I feel like she fakes the pain because every time she tells me to do something shell say "please baby my knees hurting" or fake cough really loud, so I can feel bad I feel like I never get the chance to sit down every time she s calling out my name and recently she started to come into the living room at like 6 in the morning so we can t get any sleep anymore why is she doing this ?

Question: How to intervene a drug-addicted relative who's convinced the entire family she isn't using?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 11:07 AM PST

It's my niece. She's in debt up to her eyeballs, she's going to get her car repossessed, and she's getting meth and cocaine from a drug lord whom I'm afraid she owes money to. I even gave her money to help with her car, which she then used all of it on drugs. The family won't believe me when I say she's using, and they just tell me to leave her alone.

Question: How do I get over my fear that my dad possibly has incestuous tendencies?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:57 AM PST

My dad talks about sex in a way that honestly makes me cringe. For example, when we were talking politics, he mentioned Bill Clinton's "oral sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky." I found it weird that he had to spell the "oral sex" part out when he could simply refer to the incident as the "Lewinsky scandal." Whenever I talk about anything that remotely has to do w/ sex, he starts going all out with the sex talk. For example, when I talk about loose millennial relationships w/out mentioning sex, my dad started talking about how he personally feels tempted to get involved w/ women just for the sex. My dad immigrated here from a very different place. His own father beat his grandmother like it was nothing. Growing up, his behaviors honestly creeped me out. I don't know if it's acceptable where he's from, but he used to play with my brother's genitals just for fun, making it sound like a harmless thing. He never touched me that way, but he used to bathe me every morning until I was 7 years old. He stopped b/c his back broke one day. He used to also watch me changing until he moved out when I was 11. He knew we didn't like it, but he never really listened to anything we said. I feel like his past behavior is unacceptable by American standards. But as I mentioned, he comes from a very very different place, from the countryside. I just can't get rid of the nagging suspicion that maybe he has incestuous feelings towards his own offspring. If that's the case, I seriously want to die. Just to clarify, I'm in my late 20s now. I don't live w/ my dad but I see and talk to him often. Lately I've been trying to do less of that. When I confided in family members in the past about his behaviors, they would always dismiss everything as "parental affection." I don't know if it's an east asian thing. But no one ever seemed to give weight to any of my familial concerns.

Question: Should I get this abortion, or keep the baby?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:55 AM PST

A little back story. My boyfriend has two kids 3&5. He doesn't get to see them at the moment due to baby mama drama& other bs. He pays child support, and has a few big bills that will be paid off in January. He has a good government job. Anyways.... My boyfriend and I have been living together and dating for 4 months. When we first started dating he told me he was going to end up getting me pregnant& remembered asking would that be a bad thing? And he said no. Well we ended up having sex EVERYDAY. We were always talking about how I was going to end up pregnant. He was saying "I can't wait for you to have my baby" "if you get pregnant you'll be a stay at home mom" "we'd really be able to make it work out, id only fall for you more if you were pregnant." Well I found out 4 days ago that I am 5 weeks pregnant. He said you're not pregnant. So I laughed and said want to bet? So I took another one over a few days and it's keeps getting darker& darker. Last night he told me he's ashamed because he has two kids he can't even see, that I set myself up to have a lazy life not having to work& be a stay home mom, and he can't afford it. He didn't think it would happen so soon. We discussed abortion, that's all he wants. But, this will ruin me. Even if it is the best decision for us to not have a baby(which I have been blindsided on)I don't think I could stay with him, I feel like I would resent him. I just don't know what to do.

Question: My mom is over-disciplined??

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:50 AM PST

My mom wont lemme get on my laptop if it's not school-related. She also assumes that she is going to give away our 2 TVs upstairs. I get bored and upset because I cant text my gf. Our xbox is technically useless, since all games dont work and our controller is lost. And my sister punishes my younger brother just bc he got a warning. Its so boring!

Question: Are 4th cousins close relatives as in blood relation and genes?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:43 AM PST

Question: Do AFRICA NEED POPULATION CONTROL or 2.3 billion BY 2050 IS OK?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:33 AM PST

Question: My brother goes to strip clubs with his friends (he is 19). Do I have the right to cut him out of my life until he stops?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:31 AM PST

I find this evil and I don't want my two sons thinking it is normal (they are only 4 and 6 now but will be older one day). So should I tell my parents my family will not be present at any family events if the younger brother is there? He also smokes weed.

Question: PLEASE HELP---How do I be thankful at Thanksgiving despite losing family after my grandparents deaths?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:21 AM PST

On my Mom's side of the family I was always thankful at holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc...) for them. We saw them in the summer and the holidays. Even though my Mom was not real close to her siblings they liked us kids. We got to see our cousins. It was the meaning of summer and holidays. Now the grandparents have died and my Mom and her siblings are not on good terms. They are cordial at funerals and otherwise don't speak. My Mom's siblings make excuses when I try to visit. Thus, my cousins never see me other then via Facebook. My mother's siblings broke into three fractions. My Mom, my Mom's two brothers, and my aunt (Mom's sister). So I miss my grandparents so much more because with their death everyone else left. My cousin got married this year (uncle's son) and only the two uncles and their kids were asked (not the two aunts or their kids). My Mom and her sister don't speak. So how can I be thankful at Thanksgiving for family despite this? How can I focus on the grandparents even though we have lost their family? The grandparents were close but they have died. My Dad's side of the family he is an only surviving child and his parents have died. There are no cousins in our generation (my Dad has some that live far away). So please help, how can I be thankful despite this and I will be asking the same question come Christmas.

Question: What would you do if your bully turned out to be your cousin?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:16 AM PST

Question: Are first cousins really close relation to you as in blood relation and genes yes or no?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:12 AM PST

Question: How do I handle Thanksgiving if my Dad gets drunk and my parents fight all day?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:10 AM PST

I have to be home at Thanksgiving, my parents rules, but I hate it because half the time my Dad is drunk and my parents start fighting. He is an alcoholic and my mother doesn't take us to see family because she says my Dad embarrasses her when he is drunk in front of her family. So it is just my two siblings, my parents, and I with my parents fighting all day when he is drunk. ANONYMOUS---I am 16, can't leave without their permission. And library's are closed and no one will be having a funeral on Thanksgiving though I see your point if it were possible.

Question: If my mother-in-law who is an alcoholic sends Christmas gifts this year to the kids should I tell the kids or just toss the gifts?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 10:09 AM PST

My mother-in-law sent Christmas gifts last year for the kids and I did not give them to the kids because she is an alcoholic. My husband has told her there will be no contact with her until she gets help. We don't go to his family Christmas because she is there and I have told the kids she chose alcohol over them. Last year we returned the gifts without telling the kids and stated they can't be given until she gets help. This year nothing has changed. So if she sends gifts next month for Christmas are we okay to just trash them or should we give them to the kids. It is corny gifts so nothing the kids need and as noted I tell them she chose alcohol over us when they ask questions.

Question: Are first cousins distant relatives as in blood relation and genes?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 09:59 AM PST

Question: My grandparents treat me like I am a child...?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 09:50 AM PST

I am 21 and live with my grandparents. I have a coworker who is 40, he's my friend and helps me study (I am in school to become licensed in the field we both work in). My grandparents found out that I often go to his house to study, watch movies, and hang out (all innocent). They are now forbidding me from going to his house. And my grandpa followed me there and talked to him, saying that if I go back to his house, HE will be in trouble. My grandpa also said several nasty things about how his house was disgusting (it's not that bad) and smelled like cat ****. I find this an extreme overreaction and very insulting to me, they're acting like I can't take care of myself and they are being very close-minded and judgemental. What is the best way to deal with this?! I am at my wit's end and want to move out so I cannot be controlled anymore. @pmt853: How am I not acting my age, exactly? My coworker and I are friends. He is a good person and has helped me study quite a bit. Good decisions or bad decisions, they should be MY DECISIONS to make.

Question: My stepmom hates me what should I do?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 09:42 AM PST

I m 13 and my dad has moved in now with my new stepmom and he has been with her for 2 years and I haven t gotten along with her. She was my bestfriends mum and I had been bestfriends with her daughter since I was 4 so I felt extremely betrayed when I found out she was the woman my dad had cheated on my mum with. I hated her so much and held a grudge for 2 years which has died off a bit now , but I don t know what to do as she keeps being very mean to me in the house which her and her children are now living with my dad and I, she keeps telling my dad how miserable I am all the time and I can hear her saying how rude and horrible I am to my dad and that really hurts my feelings and makes me cry because I just want to come home in peace and I don t know what to do. I ve tried to sort this out with her and she says that we re fine but she must be so fake as she s keeps telling my dad and all her friends and family how horrible and miserable and unpolite I am so she is really snakey, I can t live like this anymore!! She says how rude I am about how I don t make any effort in the house to Be nice to people but her children don t talk to me or bother with me her 19 year old son doesn t and he s an adult and ive done nothing too them! She blames me for being rude when her children are just the same!

Question: I stay at my boyfriends all week?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 09:27 AM PST

I'm 17 and I'm dating a guy that lives 40 minutes away from my house. I use to live with my dad which was only 15 minutes away but moved in with my mom so its a lot farther. I stay here all week and go home on friday usually and then I come back saturday. I've been feeling really guilty because I never see my family anymore and they always tell me that they miss me and wish that I was around more. I think that me being away for weeks at a time is starting to hurt my mom but its so difficult to get rides home & my mom works all day so most of the time its also difficult for her to drive all the way here. I want to start seeing her more but I need advice. I don't know what to do. I'm not meaning to hurt my family. I feel like **** because of this. I would like to see them more during the week but I also need to see my boyfriend too and its so hard to even them both out. Its to the point where now im stressed out. Also, I don't work yet (I'm working on it) so its hard to uber home or give people gas $$ to get me home. My bf cant spend the night either because my sister doesnt like him and throws a fit about it and its better to save the drama.

Question: Is my dad being inappropriate when he talks about sex casually with me?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 09:17 AM PST

My dad talks about sex in a way that honestly makes me instinctively cringe. For example, when we were talking politics, he mentioned Bill Clinton's "oral sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky." I found it weird that he had to spell the "oral sex" part out when he could ismply refer to the incident as the "Lewinsky scandal" or the "scandal." Whenever I talk about anything that remotely has to do w/ sex, he go on and on in an unsolicited fashion. For example, when I talk about millennial relationships, my dad starts talking about how he personally feels tempted to get involved w/ women just for the sex. My dad immigrated here from a very impoverished place where women used to be 2nd class citizens. Growing up, his behaviors honestly creeped me out. I don't know if it's acceptable where he's from, but he used to touch my brother's genitals just for fun, making it sound like a harmless thing. He never touched me that way, but he used to bathe me every morning until I was 7 years old. He stopped when his back broke one day. He used to also watch me changing until he moved out when I was 11. He knew we didn't like it, but my dad never really listened to anything we said. I feel like his past behavior is unacceptable by American standards. But as I mentioned, he comes from a very very different place, from the countryside. I just can't get rid of the nagging suspicion that maybe he has incestuous feelings towards his own offspring. If that's the case, I seriously want to die. I'm grown up now, in my late 20s. But I still feel disgusted by my dad's past and present behavior. He obviously can't touch us anymore. But it's those little comments he makes that makes me wonder if he's a complete pervert. My brother is schizophrenic and homeless. I wouldn't be surprised if the way my dad treated him had anything to do with it.

Question: Should I leave school?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 08:52 AM PST

I'm 14 and my mom is very sick and she's home alone she said to me she has never been this sick before and she doesn't look good I want to leave school today to go home and take care of her to make sure she doesn't die should I do it?

Question: If my mother-in-law who is an alcoholic sends Christmas gifts this year to the kids should I tell the kids or just toss the gifts?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 08:26 AM PST

My mother-in-law sent Christmas gifts last year for the kids and I did not give them to the kids because she is an alcoholic. My husband has told her there will be no contact with her until she gets help. We don't go to his family Christmas because she is there and I have told the kids she chose alcohol over them. Last year we returned the gifts without telling the kids and stated they can't be given until she gets help. This year nothing has changed. So if she sends gifts next month for Christmas are we okay to just trash them or should we give them to the kids. It is corny gifts so nothing the kids need and as noted I tell them she chose alcohol over us when they ask questions.

Question: How do I get over the sorrow, pain, and trauma that opens at Christmas from being segregated by my Mom from family?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 08:17 AM PST

As a kid she separated me from family because my older brother was an addict. Now as an adult my older siblings see me occasionally but didn't grow up knowing me since I was living elsewhere with my Mom and went alone with her places with her family for the holidays. Now my older brother has died and I see my older siblings a little but I am that "other sibling" no matter how much I reach out. This Christmas they will be away with in-laws understandably but it will just me my Mom and I along with her extended family for Christmas so I am not able to give thanks for those I do have because it feels so upsetting (feels like when I was a kid). I'm an adult now but the wound is so fresh when we have a year like this. What do I do? Thanksgiving is the same deal though I will see my older sister weekend of Thanksgiving.

Question: Should I be upset?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 08:05 AM PST

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months. Im 29- hes 34. We recently moved in together. He mentioned us getting engaged around Christmas. However, this is our first Holiday Season together. His Mom lives in another state and is about 2 hours away. She is hosting Thanksgiving and all his brothers who are younger and not married will be there. My mom and Dad are having Thanksgiving and just a few of my cousins ( Im an only child). My mom gave me a hard time saying we are not engaged yet and he obviously wants to go to his Moms..so i should be with my family. I do want to be with my family--but the thing that upsets me most is that he doesnt seem to be bothered we wont be spending Thanksgiving together. He doesnt see his family much so I get he doesnt want to miss out on a family gathering..but when i told him Im not sure if I would go with him--he was just like ok..no problem. One of his older female coworkers who is 55 and doesnt have any family around..lives by his mom and will be joining them too..i feel left out. He was on the phone telling her all about it. He even went on to staying he may stay overnight --and i said it would be nice to see you at least the night of Thanksgiving. Should i be upset or is this normal for a couple about to be engaged? I feel im more willing to miss out on my family to be with him--then he is for me. Granted we will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together.

Question: Is my grandma rude or am I just sensitive? What should I do?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 08:05 AM PST

Okay so I have moved in w/ my grandparents three years ago and my grandmother is very hard to get along with. Here are some examples of what I am talking about. She was making deviled eggs and I went in the kitchen to peel the boiled eggs for her. I usually rinse them off to get rid of any shells but I decided instead of rinsing off each individual one I would peel them all first then rinse them. She made a big deal about that. "Grandpa always gets shells when you make the deviled eggs and blah blah. She's not a calm woman either. I tried to explain to her I would rinse them off after I was done peeling them but each time she just got angry and talked over me. Another time she told me to call a place I was volunteering at to see if I could come early that day. I wasn't up for going but I called. I told her the lady said it was too early. I knew it was too early because last year I went early and I had to sit and wait. She said to call again because just cause I can't go early doesn't mean I can't go at all, like my usual time. Well, I called again and the lady said, "no, we are leaving early today and it will be like that on Monday come Tuesday". I hung up and told my grandma that I wasn't going to daycare today. Now before I had a chance to explain she got really angry. Her face turned mad and she kept talking over me, insisting I call them back. I finally raised my voice and she finally stopped talking enough to let me explain. The other day I was cleaning sink and I was using some kind of baking powder solution. I noticed that there was a crumb so I turned the water on to rinse it off and she screamed at me like a crazy person. She also always accuses me of being a thief too, which makes no sense because I only go to school and come straight home. It annoys me because I am a homebody but I get accused of stealing stuff.

Question: How can I get past the void that remains in me at Christmas since my grandparents deaths?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:37 AM PST

During the regular parts of the year I've accepted their deaths and moved on but at the holidays the void opens. It especially hurts because we don't see their families anymore answer uncles and cousins as they've all moved away other than one it especially hurts because we don't see their families anymore answer uncles and cousins as they've all moved away other than one aunt. So how do I get past this and enjoy the holidays even though my mom and I and sister are the only family here otherwise it's my moms friends. I see my mom and sister all the time so there's nothing special about that sing the cousins always made it special as we'd see them in the summer and Christmas

Question: My 2nd cousin is in jail and I haven't seen him since he was 10 (he is now 25). Does he still count as family even though I don't know him?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:35 AM PST

I see his mother and sister about once every 2 or 3 years.

Question: Do you think he's being overworked?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:30 AM PST

Marvin is 13 years old. He lives with his sister who's 9 and their step uncle joe. Marvin does all the food shopping, all the cooking, he goes to school five days a week, he always helps his sister with her homework. One night he even wrote a essay for her which took him over a hour. He also cleans the toilets and bathtubs at the house. He cleans all the dishes because joe forces him. then Joe told him to clean upstairs. Marvin also works every weekend for five hours. One day his sister refused to clean the bedrooms, he started crying and shaking. She eventually felt bad and told him she'd clean every bedroom. Do you think the step uncle is being too hard on him? Would you consider this abuse?

Question: I hate my boyfriends family, is it worth leaving?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:19 AM PST

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months and I m not going to lie, it s been a pretty bumpy ride. He is a great guy, handsome, respectful, and trustworthy, but I cannot STAND his family. He has a Mom that is on drugs and sells perks for a living, and is the rudest person ever. She never makes an effort to say hi to me, ever. We went to his one sister s birthday party and she never even attempted to acknowledge me. His Grandmom that he lives with always gives me glares and makes me feel uncomfortable. She never makes an attempt to say hi either. He also has 6 sisters, one of which steals money from his mom and is just all around a terrible person. His biological dad and step dad are both nice though. I just don t know what to do at this point. I know it s still really early in our relationship but what if I end up marrying into a family that I don t want anything to do with? Is it worth my sanity to deal with a family like that?

Question: Does my married cousin immoral?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:10 AM PST

My married cousin asked me to look for a foreigner to support her and her children, she's still married and living with her husband but according to her, she's having problem with her husband, she rants about her husband not giving her too much support, her husband doesn't have huge salary, her husband is just working as a waiter in a restaurant but hardworking, they have 2 children, their children are still studying. I told her to look for a job to help her husband with household expenses,she comes up with lots of excuses like she doesn't know what sort of job she can able to do, her children don't know how to do the household chores and cannot look after themselves, her children are already in college and old enough, my male cousin used to offer her a job in his shop but she turned it down. My married cousin used to live beyond her means despite of having big debt in their apartment landlord. She had quarrel with other siblings and cousins by not lending her money because she's a chronic borrower. I told her although I'm married, I don't depend to my husband, I still pay my other bills. She asked me to look for a foreigner to support her and her kids but don't tell the guy she's married.

Question: I think I like my dad as more than a father. Please help me?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:09 AM PST

This is a very personal topic for me to talk about, and it took a lot for me to even admit it to myself. Please don't make me regret putting this out there. So, he and I have a very good relationship. Especially since I am a teenage girl, and the two usually don;t get along well. My mother died when I was 7, so from then on we've had a good relationship. I think he sort of used me as a surrogate wife and it created an emotional incestual relationship. I don't know, but I don't think he likes me that way anyway. I most certainly need help, I just don't understand my feelings. Please help me.

Question: Isn't my daughter too open?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 07:09 AM PST

My 15-year old daughter had her first date after She is our only child and has been a good student without any issues. Ste also tells us many things about school life and even about her BF almost everyday since she had a crush. WE both have been told how they got closer, what the boy says to her at school, which pics he sent to her etc... Which we find very healthy and cute actually while we realize many teens tend to have distance with their parents. To show our 'respect' this time, my husband and I kind of decided not to ask how her first date went. The next day she looked sad, so I asked why. She said that she thought we didn't care about her because we didn't ask anything about the date last night... Then we asked,"how did it go, dear?", then she talked a full story... including 'how many/ times/ how long they kissed (first one)' with bunch of expressions 'he said I smelled like strawberry 'his hair was so soft' 'he has more minuscule than I thought' Is she just excited?? I'm afraid how her story to be continued....

Question: Husband's sister in law never believes what I tell her?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 06:54 AM PST

She is 34 weeks pregnant and her belly is small compared to when she had her other two children. A boy and a girl. I went to the sonogram this week with her because she has had it scheduled from the beginning aince the doctors were telling her the baby was very small to begin with. She is 4'11 and weighs about 117 and her pre pregnancy weight is isually 111.. i told her that the baby looks squished in there and i dont know how the sono doctors could tell her the baby is healthy. THey also told her that she has nothing to worry about and does not need a c section. WEll, her due date is Christmas day.. i have my 19 month old appointment the 3rd of december and she doesnt want to give me a ride.. i told her, "just in case, the hospital is right there and you can just have a c section." SHe got upset with me and now wont talk to me because i told her that because her baby is healthy doesnt mean she cant have it early like me.. i had my baby at 32 weeks because he drank my fluid and he weighed 4 pounds. Also, im very proud to have had a c section and that he is starting to walk. He is 19 months old and a very big baby (34 pounds) compared to hers that her two year old weighs 28.. she complains that he is very heavy for her and that i brag too much about my c section. Well, i dont know what other advice to tell her.. she wants vaginal I forgot to mention that at 32 weeks my baby weighed 4 pounds 11 ounces and compared to hers at 34 weeks, hers weighs 4 pounds and 5 ounces..

Question: Did my sister cross the line?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 06:43 AM PST

Hi...thanks in advance for any replies... My son is a young adult...he had a very difficult year, and struggled with anxiety, which led to impulse control...taking money, spending out of control, etc...it was completely out of character, and I was extremely worried (it was not drug related, but a mental health issue)...during this time, I would confide in my sister, as I was very upset....she even told me that I should call the police if he took money...but, I found out, that even with her strong suggestion, that she was wiring him money through her account, to his...!! I found out,, and confronted her...she apologized, and said she wouldn't do it again....well, I found out today, that she did it twice more...I called her on it, and she gave me the same apology as last time....I am very upset..first, because she's enabling him, and second, because she lied to me...my son is much better now, (under doctor's care), and he has not done anything impulsive again...but I am so mad at her....I didn't respond to her second apology

Question: I just found out my Dad sent me B-Day gifts and my mother wouldn't give them to me. Is this abuse?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 05:51 AM PST

My Dad was an alcoholic. He has died. After he died I started seeing his family more. They told me he tried to send me B-Day gifts the first year after their divorce but my mother sent them back with a note "I can't give these to him unless you go sober". The gift had nothing to do with alcohol and it is the thought that counts. I always wondered "why doesn't he remember my B-Day" and it turned out he tried to the first year. My mother said she was protecting me and from day to day marriage I can see why she needed to divorce him but I am mad she didn't let me have supervised visits with him. I never saw him after the age 7 and was 16 when he died. She cut him down to me constantly and said he didn't love me because he only loved alcohol. So I feel like she emotionally abused me by not letting me have some contact with him (even though I understand it needed to be supervised). He was not violent. So am I right that this is a case of Parental Alienation or does that not apply here? The banning B-Day gifts especially seemed weird. She wouldn't even let me go to my cousins wedding because he was there. Just asking because I need to understand it all for my closure as I feel guilt I never knew him. I am not trying to get back at my Mom or anything. She remains very bitter. UPDATE=--- I can;t believe some of you think what she is doing is okay because he is an alcoholic. Obviously my grandparents might need to supervise (my Dad's parents offered). But, my mother keeping me from my Dad is child abuse by my mother. I shouldn't be punished because he drinks too much. He is an alcoholic, not a serial killer or pedophile. Alcoholism is a mental illness. She let me see her uncle (now deceased) who was an alcoholic.

Question: How can I have a good Thanksgiving when we are seeing my parents' friends instead of their family?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 05:46 AM PST

How do I correct my twisted thinking. I feel like Thanksgiving and Christmas have to be with family or it doesn't count. My grandparents have all died (all 4) and so we aren't seeing my Mom's side of the family at all and my Dad's side of the family we will see Christmas but not Thanksgiving. I want to be thankful for extended family (especially the grandparents) but I feel like it doesn't count if I am not seeing them and not even seeing my Mom's side at Christmas. UPDATE----But I don't love my parents friends. In fact one of the couples is nice, the other is horrible, and the third I don't really know accept that the guy is weird but his wife I am told is nice (I only met them once back as a kid).

Question: Needing a bit of guidance here?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 05:29 AM PST

I sent a vase of flowers I arranged myself to a friends office as a little surprise. As a just because gift for her being so strong. We had a long talk on the phone (good talk) and she's been under some stress. I did it out of love and care simply letting her know I'm here. When she received them she send pictures of the flowers to me and put "wow ty. You amaze me" I didn't expect anything in return. But do you think she liked it? I feel like she didn't. I started feeling embarrassed for sending them, so I kinda haven't talked to her much since. even though I was just following my heart to do something sweet for her. I just feel embarrassed, like I've been a bother

Question: My Dad has never wanted me and I lost my self esteem and sense of self worth from this. How do I gain it back?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 05:25 AM PST

He has never wanted to be in my life and my mother divorced him to protect me from his drinking so I feel it is my fault they divorced and he left. How do I get over this now that I am an adult?

Question: How to tell my school counseler about my abuse?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 05:20 AM PST

my moms been severely verbally/emotionally abusing me since i was 6 (im 14 now) ive reached a breaking point where i feel depressed and terrified all the time. my grades are awful. i feel lost. i need help i need to talk to my counseler but im scared i dont know how/what to say? im also really scared cos my mom has a good relationship with peoople at my school. im worried to get her in trouble, i have 3 siblings and a dad what if they all hate me, what if i ruin everything by talking about it to my counseler? im so scared. the thing is she is really charismatic to other people and can really butter them up. everyone we meet always loves her, they could never dream of it. i also think shes bipolar because its like i have two different moms. this totally nice normal one, and then something ticks her off and it's like she got posessed by this hating demon. btw she verbally abuses my other siblings too, but i mainly get it the worst

Question: Is it weird that I am 35 and miss snuggling with parents as a child?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 05:17 AM PST

I even pretend sometimes that I am again with my Dad (my mother has died)

Question: Abusive parents! I want help !?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 04:45 AM PST

My mom has been abusive towards me forever. When I was a kid like 7 or 8 , while bathing me , I was crying cz obviously I was a kid I would cry , she grabbed my hands at the back and pushed me towards the wall violently and now I m 19 she denies them that it ever happened and says that I making things up , abuse like that has been going on then when I turned 13 I developed my own personality and stood against her , and I hot a bf I would spend more time alone and be on Internet she and dad started verbally abusing me "she is a slut , how can she be such a slutty girl and is she married that she is talking to him all the time " it was an online relationship, so obviously I didn t any physical relationship with him or anyone and if anyone has doesn t make them slut and it never justify anything they said , then my it became a more and more the abuse both physically and verbally mostly by my mother , my dad never physically abused me only my mother. Then if I would say something they would turn it around me and call me disgusting names and then I would break tjings in house to express myself I felt no one s hearing me out and they started calling crazy and psycho and mental and that I need help even today and now still going on, I m 19 , I can t talk with anyone here cz I m in Bangladesh and most of the people think it s okay the this is not abuse but it is abuse and it s not okay . I am here questioning my sanity and everything am I the problem ? I m in pain

Question: Why did my dad get angry when I mentioned that I don't like my surname?

Posted: 15 Nov 2016 04:42 AM PST

I didn't say I don't like HIS name. Surname is just the name brought down through generations.