So today I had what I feel was an awakening. My husband and I were arguing about something trivial as usual on his lunch break and before leaving he threatened to "run a red light" of the way back. So when he left I was shocked and started googling things he does like blame me for everything. I came across a site about narcissistic husband's and I cried as I read basically a play by play of my daily life. I've been suffering from depression for about 8 months now and everything just clicked into place reading this information. He's been abusing me by belittling me, he encourages me to think I'm ugly, fat, useless. He is always hinting that I'm a bad mom to our babies and just has crushed my whole personality into dust. He's turned me against all of my family and friends. I go weeks or months without talking to a single soul but him and the children. But we do have good times.. and he's such a good dad. He provides for us and allows me to be a stay at home mom. His father abused him as a child and I don't blame him for being a little messed up. Is it worth trying to fix? I just want to feel like a person again.. but I don't want to ruin our beautiful family unit.

I have known my wife for 5 years, we've been married for almost 2 years. When we first met we were both in shape. I told her that after we got married i would like for both of us to stay fit and physically attractive for each other. She said ok. Now she has gotten fat and been fat for over 2 years. I've had discussions with her about losing weight and she will run and exercise and then eat a bag of popcorn at midnight right before bed. I think 2 years is enough time to make progress and it seems like she has no interest in eating healthy. I'm only 26 and want to be happy with my wife for the next 60 years but don't think i can continue with this person.

Or they will just live together when they desire to do so?

My fiancée and I agreed to be abstinent for personal reasons until our wedding, which is not for another year and a half. We're waiting until after she finishes grad school. My fiancée is going through a lot. She works full time and goes to school part time. Plus, her parents have a really bad relationship in which one of them recently attempted suicide and the other was insensitive about it. Now my fiancée tries to mediate between them as professional counseling hasn't helped. I've told her I'm here for whatever she needs or wants from me. A few days ago my fiancée came over my apt. and she started making out with me on the bed. She started unbuttoning her clothes and when I asked her to stop, she reminded me how I said I'd do anything for her and said "I really want you." She has seemed so sad about everything going on the past few weeks, I wanted to stop her from doing something she'd regret. I told her I love her and am unbelievably attracted to her, but I was trying to keep us accountable to the promise we made. It has been a few days and she has barely told me what's been going on in her life. She is usually so rational and kind despite her troubling family life. I'm not sure how to help her or what such an immense level of stress means for the future of our relationship.

I'm still into prime women. Even though it's a long shot because girls like guys their own age I still like 18-20's. Can't change me. They won't look my direction but that's to be expected. Prepared to be alone for life. Just keep to my athletics and video games. I'm safe there. Basically I did try back in the day and failed many times and now I don't try because I'm defeated in trying anymore. Nature wins.

Please, tell me if you have ever experienced this, and help me get through it! I love him, but ever since January, I have been very angry at him. I do not know why. Once I see him my blood boils. I try to hide it because the poor guy didn't do anything wrong, but it shows unwiunwillingly from time to time. Have you ever felt this way towards a future husband or a life-partner. This is not me. I have never been a person with a short temper. I'm only this way with him, and he's getting sick of it.

Do some of you ever regret marrying your spouse or sometimes even wonder how life would be without him/her? Sometimes I feel like an awful human being for thinking how much better life would be without my spouse. Especially when we fight. But I wonder if I'm the only one with that kind of mentality..

I've been married to an amazing man for 12+ years. We have 2 great kids. I love him dearly but I wish he was more masculine. Whether it's doing manly repairs around the house or taking more charge in bed I've tried to hint but it's not working. He is very passive in bed and it's a huge turnoff. When anything breaks or needs to be fixed I do it, mainly because he works such crazy hours and never has time and never makes time. How do I tell him his whimpering type of sounds during sex are a major turnoff!! I know I pull away and maybe it's making him self conscious or insecure but I almost can't stand it. I just want him to be a man and unapologetic! Instead he is passive and wimpy!

serious question. heres the situation. we have been married for almost 2 years. he's in the military. i stay at home. (currently looking for a job) but i clean, cook, make sure he ALWAYS has clean clothes, make his lunches everyday. pretty much wait on him hand and foot. but recently he told me he is unhappy. we tend to fight a lot, but its because he claims i am lazy, yet i clean EVERY day all day until he gets home and logs on to WoW while i fetch him food, drinks or whatever he needs. no matter what I'm doing. i understand he makes the money. i get it thats why I'm job searching. so maybe he won't always be so angry at me. but he also makes horrible comments to me, especially when he's drunk, i have put on a little weight (maybe 20 lbs) and he constantly tells me how fat i am, how i should get liposuction (which i now have a consultation for in april) how I'm a ***** and a **** and just mean things which make me feel shitty about myself. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because i love this man more than anything. but the way he is treating me is starting to wear down my mental health. i am not sure what else to do. do i tell him i want a divorce? idk. I've tried talking to him but he just ends up turning it around on me and making it about what I've done wrong or something....help please.... to be honest, i feel like maybe i make him out to be 100% the bad guy? i could be doing something wrong and bringing this on myself....im not stupid, i know it sounds cliche. but maybe there are things i should work on as well??

Or does infatuation fade? :(

I was with my ex for 2 years and we broke up a little over three months ago. We have not spoken in almost 3 months and just talked when we gave our things back. When he broke up with me, he said he wanted to be friends because I was his best friend but would let me do it on my own time. I went on a mission trip for spring break to Belize last week.I did not think about him often but there were random reminders of him there. His name was around which I didnt expect to be in a central american country, and just little things about him were around. I have been doing really well without him and I am happier. I can look at pictures of us and remember the good times and not be sad. He has been on my mind and I have wanted to talk to him but thinking since he broke it off maybe wait until he reaches out. I am also scared he wont respond or want to talk. This guy manipulated me a lot and led me into a depression. It was really hard to be with him and even harder to be without since i felt a lot of guilt during the relationship and completely at fault for the breakup. I am happy now and just me again and i am scared if we talk i may get pulled back into his games or I may find those feelings again. What do I do?!

I'm a 22 year old guy from the Middle East. I really don't understand why people get married the way they do over here. I will tell you a small story about a girl I was in love with, so please read along. I met her in college. We seemed to hit it off and soon became close friends. Fast forward 6 months later and she's become my girl best friend. We shared everything with each other. We joked around, we laughed and we hung out a lot around campus. And at night, when we're at home we texted and talked on the phone. Everything was going perfectly. She was the girl of my dreams, and I knew I wanted to end up living the rest of my life with her. Even though she never told me, I knew she felt the same way too. She always described me as ''the one who's there for her'' and ''the one who stayed amazing when everyone went to sh*t''. Anyway, I was planning on proposing to her as soon as I finished college. Then one day, out of the blue, I hear that she got engaged. I ask about the guy, but none of her friends know him. ''He's a doctor. His parents know her parents. They came over and asked for her hand in marriage, they made a deal, they're engaged and they're getting married this summer'' is what they said. A few days later, I see the girl, and she looks happy. It's the happiest I've ever seen her. She just got engaged to a guy she doesn't even know, and she's about to spend the rest of her life with him. HOW, HOW, and HOW? Is love not even considered over here? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a healthy marriage built around love and friendship? Or does money overpower EVERYTHING in this piece of cr@p part of the world? I dare anyone to argue against me. Is the girl truly happy with him? How can she be when she doesn't even know him?

My husband and I are getting a couple tattoo. We thought about getting our names on each other but I think that that is just stupid. So we are going to record our voices saying I Love You and I will get his on me and he will get mine. Both with be on our chest next to our heart. Here is a picture of what I am talking about. So I am asking, who thinks this is a good matching tattoo Idea? We are getting it for our anniversary

It is, it is just a game. A game of control and a game of dominance. If I give more than my wife then I have officially earned more "favors" since she would have a debt to pay back. And as a competitive person (if I were one) I would keep track of how much MORE I do for her so she can "pay me back". If I take more than my wife then I have officially received more favors and didn't have to do anything to earn/deserve them. And if I don't make my "I'm not giving" aware, then the other person will continue to do more and more and more until they have nothing more to give. Christians have rules in place to prevent this "selfishness", but if you don't play the game then Christianity has no say. If both people don't give and both people don't take then the game is over. That doesn't mean that the relationship is over; it just means that the "Marriage" is over and you can start living a married life together... I have seen people try to "one up" each other in the name of love and it is pure madness. He holds her hand, she hugs him, he kisses her, she buys him a card, he buys her chocolates, she buys him a bear, he buys her a ring, she buys him a new tv, he buys her a new car.... This is consumerism at its best (for the company). I've also seen competitive marriages where they refused to do anything for the other person since they knew that the other person wouldn't reciprocate and do something for them... That's stupid. Nothing gets done that way!!! What's your thoughts? This is a general discussion about the concept of "Marriage". There is a lot of idealism centered around marriage. People see it as a living, breathing thing and it isn't. "Marriage" is nothing more than an agreement to be monogamous that is recognized by the state. If you try to do something because "that's what married people do" then you are playing a game like the one I described here. If you do something because you are generous that isn't part of "Marriage", that's about who YOU are.

My fiance and I have been having this debate with friends and coworkers and I'm curious as to what the internet has to say. My fiance and I met in college when we were 18/19. We dated all through college, did long distance while he studied abroad and then again when he graduated a year earlier than me. We moved in together 3.5 years after starting to date and bought a house at 5 years together. We have our own co-adopted dog and have been told that we function like a married couple by many people. We haven't rushed into getting married since honestly, the only thing that we see as changing is names and legal status. Okay, where is everyone getting this concept of just being able to walk away if you aren't married? You can leave the relationship just as easily if you're married, the only difference is that the pain gets dragged out as you complete a bunch of legal paperwork. Historically people may have stayed together for the sake of the marriage but with over 1/2 of marriages ending in divorce, I would say that isn't true any longer...

At some point, many couples just stop trying. Was it when you had children? When you hit a certain age? A certain anniversary? What made you want to stop trying to impress your other half?

I am a newlywed, and my husband has 13 years on me. He just retired after his business went public. When we were dating, the kids topic came up and he said he wanted kids by 40. I went along with that idea because I was so into him. But in reality, I'm not sure if I even want kids. We do a lot of traveling and go to all sorts of functions, and I just don't think I want a kid to take away from our fun. Well, now we're married and with him nearing 40 he is really itching to hurry up and have a baby. I'm still not wanting a kid. But he's the guy I always wanted and treats me like a queen. Should I just view this as a trade-off? Have a baby to please him, in exchange for the wonderful life he gives me?

I mean the first step is realizing it, but how do you personally kick up the effort a few notches, or otherwise show appreciation? My husband has been out of town for a conference and although I lead a busy life (perhaps a contributor to the "taking for granted" aspect?) I've been missing him and realizing I need to be more present in our marriage.

I want to learn about this aspect of life. I have never been a competitive person and my wife seems to be highly competitive with me and with others, but I don't get it! How does this manifest? How does a person choose what to compete in? Why compete? Doesn't competing cause aggression or drama? Slight grammar fix. "Are you and your spouse competitive?".... I was going to type it as "Is your marriage competitive?" but I decided to elaborate a little.

My husband told me today that he notices that I don't approach him to kiss or show affection. Which I honestly didn't think about it before but I realized it now that I don't.. It just doesn't come out of me to want to do it. I use to be affectionate before but he isn't a big affectionate kind of guy but I feel like I've changed. I was even more affectiobate with my previous relationship but because he was an effectionate guy. We just had a baby and I feel like we disagree more and argue more. There's just so many things that I thought would be different and I don't know if that has killed my love for him?

My husband has been acting different. He doesn't pull me into his chest like he used to, it's hard to get his attention, he even brushes me off when I suggest for us to go have dinner outside. Any tips and advice? To a troll that just changed the category. I wish you a suffering year, I hope you accidentally eat massive amounts of bad cheese.

we were bowling and my husband was standing behind my sister and he had his phone and the light was on , did he take a picture of her ? later he was in the bathroom for a long time he says he was playing a game

-I'm Asian -I'm a good cook -I'm nice in general and can get along with others -I will let my husband/baby's father pick the first name of our child if it happends to be a girl. -I'm neat and organized (once I have the time to clean the house) -I am a willing partner when it comes to sexual things (as long as it is safe...) -I've tested negacnegative already many times for the common sti/stds out there. And some women have it. There are more, but you have to ask me privately. -I'm great looking for my age (30s) Sorry it's short, my computer isn't working and I'm on my tablet. I'm 31 at the end of this month, so early 30s.

Health and fitness is a big part of my life. I keep myself in really good shape. A few months back, I had a knee injury so I couldn't run, bike, etc. Sometimes just walking was extremely painful. This lasted for months and I was pretty upset about it and gained 10 pounds. Now that my knee is better, I'm trying to lose it.I do monitor my calories which my husband always expressed was stupid, etc. But loosing weight especially when you're already of small stature requires much more work. So I count everything. And all I've heard him say is, "It's not a big deal. Can't you just eat and skip this, etc.?" At the same time, he is a very visual person. He's always made a huge fuss over my body and is always touching me and telling me how perfect I look. And he's made it clear that if I were fat, he'd think it was unattractive and honestly, I think the same for him. I would still love him, though. I just don't understand what he wants from me. I don't just wake up looking how I do. He is very critical about it and I don't like it and I don't see how it affects him either way. I've told him to stop but he still expresses his disproval. Why is this?

I've been depressed for awhile now...ever since I got married it's been a down hill battle. For awhile I never got out the house and only stayed with my kids which isn't a problem but really did affect my self identity. My husband forced me into getting a job a year ago and it changed my life and helped my depression but now since our marriage has been rocky my depression has got worse and he loves to put me down. He claims I do nothing around the house when I honestly do and it really hurts me. I have girlfriends I have met at work and he absolutely laid into me about going to try Zumba with them and always tells me I'm not a teenager anymore and all I want to do is have some girl time every now and then. I also feel like it's not fair I have to go around his schedule to do something like when his favorite tv show or sports come on. I really need advice knowing if I'm in the wrong...