My future MIL - I respect her a mom but as a woman, she's not someone I have high respect for. She's very insecure, has low-self esteem based on her behavior. Once, she laughed at a runway model who fell on TV. I said, "wow, she has a beautiful body!" She replied, "UH THAT'S BC THEY HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO PAY FOR PLASTIC SURGERY." True but these models are Victoria secret models. They may have had surgery (maybe not) but they actually train hard and are disciplined with their lifestyle and eating habits. She is NOSY, gossips all the time, and tends to instigate a lot of petty things. For example: my parents (dad especially) is BIG into holidays and love decorations. She's been to my parents house once around Christmas time. Her mom (my man's grandma) was floored and loved it. She was in disgust and passively makes fun of him to me. "So, Molly... it's October - is your dad ALREADY setting up those Christmas decorations?", she says with a smirk and snakiness in her voice. I almost want to reply with, "we'll see. I know you're jealous of the decorations, which is why you make fun of it. They would be happy to have you come over so you can copy it right away." Like they say - a secure/confident person doesn't need to make passive digs, only those that are not secure, do. Also, her niece just got married. Her sister stopped by her house & she says, "so...what did you guys think of the wedding...?" Then proceeded to criticize & proclaim that her daughter's wedding was better It's hard not to get annoyed but I'm thinking maybe answering back with a positive answer is good? Then being dismissive. It's just disappointing to see a woman who is 50+ behave this way

To make a long story short, at 28 I suffered a massive stroke and was forced to move in with my Parents. Ever since I have become better and able to do things on my own, my Mother actively prevents me from doing so. I could understand being so overbearing after I was discharged from the hospital, but NOT 5 years down the road! As an example, I was verbally accosted today for making macaroni and cheese. Why? Because, God forbid I fill up the pot with water to boil the pasta, while She has two bites of a giant plate of dinner left to eat. She literally threw Her plate down and yelled "MF'er!" and blamed me for "interrupting," Her dinner. According to Her I was supposed to wait until She was completely finished. However, all She had to do was let me put water in the pot, finish Her food, and then I'd make mine. Simple enough right? No, because currently She is making my dinner instead of me doing it. I'm prohibited from doing things independently often, under the guise of "safety." In actuality it's overbearing.

I understand it has to do with organs shutting down, but why do some old people live to like 100 and some only to 80? My grandpa is dying, he has dimentia and had a stroke and can't walk and his body is slowely shutting down :(

He has been an alcoholic for years. His dad is a severe alcoholic. Mom let him start drinking at 13\14. Been in & out of jail ,prison and was just kicked out of his 3rd rehab program. We have 2 kids & one due in 6 months. I moved in with my mom & the kids about 3 months ago to get our son & daughter away from their dad. Our 6 year old was very traumatized by his dad's drinking. He witnessed physical abuse, his dad was not Nice to him when he was drunk, he witnessed him calling me names and threatning me. He would go to school & tell his teacher He was scared &would cry about it &would loose sleep at night. His dad was recently discharged from rehab for smoking a cigarette in the lounge, but claims to be doing better and sober and WANTS to stay sober. Before going in He started working with a friend at his company just the two of them and they would drink and his friend even started him on meth and adderol. He went right back to working with that friend &is staying with him. do I let the kids visit him or not. What is more traumatizing for them, bringing them around again (I'm afraid he will slip back into drinking and just as I bring them around I have to cut him off again.) do I try to keep a relationship between them so they at least have a relationship or cut him off for a while longer. I know my son misses having a dad so I want to let him visit him but q if he slips and my son witnesses it. what if I establish a relationship but have to stop once again

lately i've been crying a lot for no reason at all. Earlier today i went to the kitchen to get some water, but then i just started crying and had to sit down for a minute. It might be because there has been some sudden changes in my life recently. About 3 months ago i left my mother in Japan and moved to my dad's house in Germany. I've been living w my mom in japan for 4 years now.It's a long story, but lately it just really hit me that all of this is really happening and that i can only see my mother once a year from now on. And i've been with her ever since i was born, so it's realy hard for me. I think it might have something to do with this, but i'm not quite sure. Btw! I'm 15 years old, don't know if that changes anything but i'm just throwing that out there.

Just wondering if anyone had a family situation the same or similar to this, or if this is even remotely normal because at times I feel like it isn't, my parents split when I was 9, then when I was 11 my mom had a baby but her dad's never really around much, so now I live with my mom and my 5 year old sister, and my other younger who's 15 brother lives with my dad, I still see them and hang out with them and stuff I just don't live with them for the most part, a lot of people tell me I have a pretty messed up family so idk, thoughts? (And we're not a super trashy or poor family either, we're normal other than this)

I'm 19 yrs old and at the age of 15 I became a father while being in a very manipulative, controlling and abusive relationship and I feel like I was forced to be a father. Now don't get me wrong, I do love my daughter but for the past 4 years I've been pretending that I'm alright with everything but it's all just blown up over the past 2 weeks. I really don't know what to do as I believe that there is no solution to my problem.

She was in town with her kids and my parents blew off the nieces and nephew but I didn't feel right doing that, it is not their fault their mother is a narcissist. My mother's family is obsessed with it and thus I am but I am nicer about it. The aunt can be hostile though like any narcissist so sometimes they are just trying to protect me. With Asperger's I am easy to manipulate.

I am especially thinking of doing it at the holidays this year. I am 11 years older then the oldest of them and 18 years older then the youngest. My Mom had me at 20 so there is a big age gap. Their parents don't include us cause of my Mom's mistakes other then one aunt who has asked me once or twice. How would I reach out when I am 35 and they are 17 to 24? There are 9 first cousins and of whom 8 live local.

He is a half-brother so after our Dad died in 2011 I pretty much lost touch other then exchanging Christmas emails. I saw him once in 2013 but that is all since 2011. We have different mothers.

I am 17. My sister is 11. I am not allowed to have Snapchat. This morning my sister heard my phone going off, and found out I had the app. She is probably going to tell my mom. Should I lie and tell mom I do not have the app, or should I cone clean and risk getting grounded?

I moved in with a 42 y/o single mother about 4 months ago. She has a 12 y/o son and a good job. At the time i moved in i was not aware of hypergamy and the red pill. She would like for us to get married and buy a house, but she doesn't want any more kids. Now i'm asking myself "what about my own house, what about having my own kids, why am i commuting 45 miles to be with her and kid who half pretends to like me?" I feel like i got a marathon medal without running a marathon.

Since my fiancé and I broke up I have been following his weird redneck brother around everywhere trying to figure out why he is so weird. He is a slob. He wears sunglasses everywhere and drinks a lot of dunkin donuts lattes. He is fat and does not care. He completely ignores me or leaves when I approach or yell at him. He blasts oldies rock in roll and oldies rock and roll in his pickup. He can't park well. He never wears shoes or socks unless it's freezing. He goes on walks and drives with all of his dogs for no reason. He doesn't seem to have friends or a significant other, but he gets a lot presents and flowers from someone. He is middleaged and lives with his elderly mother. They do everything together. He seems to like kids old people and animals better than normal adults No one knows what he does for living. He smells even though he claims he takes a bath a lot. He went trick or treating in a mask and then gave the candy to his friends kids he is middleaged and acts like a child and watches cartoons. I told the kids not the to eat the candy because he is so weird he could have put drugs in it and their parent's asked me to leave.

We have dated for about 18 months and for about the past 6 months I have noticed more and more things about him I don't like. Some things are small, other things are bigger. An example off a small thing is that if we have guests over it never enters his mind to offer them a drink. One time he went and got himself a drink but didn't offer anything to the guests. Which is just weird. Or for instance his big brother just got married and he didn't even buy a gift. There were other things surrounding that wedding that in my mind he should have done as a family duty to his brother but he doesn't think about it. I see now that he is spoiled. He lives in an apartment that is meant for his parents when they retire in a few years. He wanted a new kitchen installed in the apartment. I asked him: "Are you sure your parents can afford it? They bought this place a year ago and your brother just got married. I'm sure that was not cheap". But none the less the kitchen will be installed in a month. All of these things makes me thing he is unmanly. I feel like he should at least try to pay his own way. He is a grown man and he should know to read social codes by now. I think it's a big reason why he doesn't have many friends. I was always surprised by the difference between the two brothers. They are night and day. He is the baby so he probably got more his way. I don't know how to talk about this. If I ask him to change is that fair of me?

Sometimes it gets to me, and I know it shouldn't, but how can I make it bother me less My girlfriend has a child, and sometimes her kid will bring up her ex(not the father) Perfect example is we took some Halloween photos and her daughter who is 5 said send it to (her ex's name) all my girlfriend said is we don't talk to him anymore. They been broken up for a while now, but every so often she will bring him up, or tell her my girlfriend to call him. She said I am sure she doesn't fully understand, and she knows I am not with him anymore, but she was on her life for almost 4 years. You have to remember that, but she likes you. You are just still kinda new to her, and she was still pretty much a baby when he came into the picture, but we don't talk to him at all. He never check up on her after our break up, or even asked about her since. Dont worry, it will all pass.

I'm 31 years old, I live with my aunt. I have a pretty low overhead, but I don't make tons of money. I work at a bank. Anyway, my mom and brother are always totally broke, my mom doesn't work and is technically homeless, bounces around to different family members houses. Currently she's staying with my aunt, her sister. When my grandparents died, her parents, I was left money, about 45K. So was my brother. He spent his on partying. He blew every dime on drinking, hotels, drugs, god knows what else. He has nothing left. Mine is saved, barely touched, saving it for a car, condo, whatever. Something of value. My mom has worked odd jobs in her life, cleaning under the table. But regardless of that, she's totally broke and so is my brother. He works but doesn't make a lot, and he lives on his own. She has threatened to follow me to my job and make a scene, she sends me vicious, nasty text messages threatening me and harassing me for money. Calls me a b*tch and a C word and a "rotten daughter." I've given her $1,500 in the last month. I told her enough. She says its "her parents money" but they left it to me. Why should I shell out thousands of dollars to 2 people who don't even try to better themselves? What would you do if you were me? I know once I start giving her money, she will torture me my whole life. She did the same thing to her mother before her mother died. Drained every penny from her. Please help me, this is such a screwed up situation. What should I do?

My cousin married my aunt. So does this mean my cousin becomes my uncle or does my aunt become my cousin? Also, she is 6months pregnant. Does this mean their child will be my cousin or nephew? Or both? This is all confusing. I still see my cousin as my cousin, and my aunt as my aunt. What will their child be to me? Does the relationship with my Cousin and Aunt stay the same??

Me, a 17 year old male never had a father figure I yell at my mom a lot like my abusive grandpa and have anger issues. Today I threw my clothes across the room out of anger and my mom yelled and chased after me so I grabbed the metal can of air freshener and put some in my mouth. She grabbed my by my hair and looked like she was about to hit me so I ran and threw the can in her direction and it hit the side of her head. She said she's bleeding and has a concussion or something now. I feel really like **** man. I can't live this down. I'm a dengerous person. I don't want to be like this man. I always told myself I'd live alone since I can't handle being around others. I had such big plans and hopes and dreams for the future now I don't wanna go anywhere. I hate myself.

Im 14 and at first my dad was nice to my mom but now he drinks alot cause he got layed off. Well my mom made him mad and at dinner he hit my mom and my little sister is only 5 she started to cry so I got her away from my dad and I went back to save my mom and I hit my dad with a bat and my mom told me to stop and go to my room so I did. Next day my dad and mom talked to me and said it was no big deal but my mom was hurt she had marks on her face and like bruises on her arm. My dad said he was not gonna hit my mom again but he did last night because she took me and my sister trick or treating. I just want to leave at this point I am the man of the house and I feel I should protect my mom and sister but my mom won't listen she tells me not to tell my grandma but I don't know i just don't want my sister or mom to get hurt. I know if I tell my grandma my mom will be mad but I might just tell her anyway what do you think I should do? And my dad is sick an I do not want him to go to jail I just want him to stay away from us and to go to a rehab facility.

I've always gone trick or treating with my mom and younger brothers. Only one is still young where trick or treating still matters ( hes 10 now) I had a lot of HW the night of Halloween & said I did not want to go trick or treating with my mom and youngest brother because I had a lot of HW for Organic chemistry and Physics and a quiz the next day. My mom got upset b/c this is the first time I said no to trick or treating with her and my youngest brother. She depends on me b/c she gets tired due to health reasons and she likes/wanted to have me there just in case. She didnt want to walk around trick or treating with my youngest brother on her own. I felt bad, but I'm not going to sacrifice my school work for one night when she has options (not to sound selfish) I have 3 other brothers (ages btwn 18-24) and she had the option to have one of them go with her ( only one is in college, and the other 3 dont work so it's not like they had anything to do) they are perfectly capable of helping. She was upset that she ended up having one of them go with her. I'm sorry but I dont think she has the right to be upset. Its not like I was ditching her to go hang out with friends, I stayed behind to do homework. I'm in college and I'm 22, school is important to me. She tried to say that me saying no was me being "fickle" and treating her bad. I'm constantly helping and when I finally say I dont want to do something, she always says victim and tries to act like I'm ungrateful. ***other 2 don't work....(Sorry for the typos) I guess the main thing that irritates me about this is she let's my brothers 'opt out' from helping and she'll act like it's no big deal as opposed to her reaction if I can't/don't want to help. Also, when I've tried to talk about it to her she says she doesn't want to talk about it because if I can't see what I did wrong, then there is no point .🙄 I have a my whole school schedule written on calendar with exam, quiz, and hw dates that she has access to. So it's not like I lied about having he or ditched at the last minute.

So I'm in high school. And I have an O&M teacher. (Orientation and mobility) and he wants me to use my cane (because I can't see well). I've done it for over 4 years. Only for an hour a 2 weeks. Because I can travel well enough to not use it all the time. And I have told him no more. But he will not take no as an answer. My dad said stand your ground. But I cannot make my self. My dad also said they cannot make you do anything Please help. I do O&M tomorrow 11-1-18

how complicated is it being on both sides of the families?

My brother is an alcoholic. He's had a problem with drinking for more than a few years now. This year has been the worst I've seen it. I've been looking out for him for some years now.. taking care of him when he's intoxicated, and so forth. I'm emotionally and mentally drained.. I want to distance myself from him, but he's my brother and I love him. I really need some guidance here..

So I told my friend that my mom was always erractily angry every time I cooked, always complained every single time. Listen I can't do nothing about her feeling jealous of me cooking for myself and the family. Somebody has to do it and she's apparently not going to do it. I'm not trying to take over her house. She said herself she doesn't wanna cook and isn't willing to learn. She can cook if she still wants to but she refuses, not my problem. My dad even said he's embarrassed to tell his coworker his wife doesn't ever cook for him. My aunt is sick so I cook a lot for her as well ( she stays 5 minutes away from us). My aunt calls me all the time raving about how delicious my food is. She even gave me money one time for cooking for her and I was like " you really don't need to do that. I cook from the kindness of my heart, not for money". my aunt said she will never have to cook again with my amazing food, she said I'm going to be the cook of the family. My mom was like " you not going to be cooking like that Messi g up my kitchen " and I always clean up after myself and wash dishes. I'm literally in the kitchen all day on my off day slaving ( I meal prep meals for the week). She looks at me like she hates me every time I cook. But what's crazy is that she complains about my younger brother eating pizza everyday also. Like, you can't have it both ways. Either you gonna want me to cook healthy meals or eat unhealthy fast food like my brother. Anyways, cooking meals is cheaper

Ok so my older cousin basically told someone i am an overemotional teenager (he knows i am in my 20s). I feel like he is basically saying he thinks he has me pegged and is free to point out any flaws he sees in me. First of all i dont recall saying anything mean to him so why is he acting like that? The person he said this to is someone who has spoken badly about him behind his back to me...GO FIGURE.

'm 22.. and I'm still not finished my bachelors degree.. I messed up applying for school.. I couldn't take my classes.. then I found out all my classes were just online.. so now I'm switching schools which delaying my time to graduate.. I have an AA in accounting but i don't want to make 40,000 dollars all my life I want to finish my degree.. my parents haven't paid for any of my schooling.. I'm already upset about not finishing it now.. I'm trying the best I can to be successful..

I'm 15 and I have a 4 siblings. One of them is a two year old boy. I love him to death but he is always crying when i'm trying to do homework or sleep and I am constantly asked to take care of him. I feel like I can't enjoy my teen years, like I'm forced into being a secondary parent already. How should I deal with this?

He thinks I should just "let go" of my PTSD about childhood abuses. Not sure if he is in denial since he failed to protect me or if he thinks I am responsible. I am 35, single, and female.

He is in his 4th marriage (third person as he was married twice to one of the women).

If a married man is protective over his younger, female friend...does he see her as a sister? I was with my boyfriend tonight at a fall festival and my friend and his family were there. Before my boyfriend and I left, we told my friend and his family bye and my friend goes "don't do any late night trick-or-treating!" and kind of had a smirk on his face. Why is he protective? Also, before I started dating my boyfriend, I made a post saying that any potential guy I date was going to have to meet a few people in my life and get their approval before I'd date them. My friend asked "who are the other besides me? :) ", as in he wanted to be able to approve of any potential guy I might date. I'm in my late 20's, he's in his late 30's. We're not SUPER close. We used to be closer, but people get busy and have lives and we kind of drifted apart.

Hi for the past year or so my dad has been very stressed, anxious, and depressed. I'm 15, the oldest of three siblings, and my dad doesn't call or spend as much quality time with us as he'd like to because of his busy work schedule. The other day I got a random phone call from him asking "Have I done anything to you that has hurt you? And if so please forgive me", which is really weird coming from him. He then explained that he went to a three day "retreat"/program that helped him solve a lot of his internal problems. The next day after that strange encounter with my dad, he picked me up from school and was a COMPLETELY changed person. He was so much happier, this obviously made me happy for him but something felt so strange and off. He then started talking about The Landmark Forum and how it changed him and began talking about the program. The whole time while he was talking these words DID NOT sound like him at all, his laugh and all sounded like another person speaking. He was so excited about this and he truly seemed a lot happier but I really do think, from the sound of this, it could possibly be a cult. I've done my research but I don't know what cites to trust. I just really love my dad and he loves me very much but I just don't want this to negatively impact him. So if you have any info on this program please answer back.

I know it is a very vague question, but I didn't know how to word it. So I recently gave birth to a little girl in mid September via C section. My mother has always been excited to be a grandma, and this is her first grandchild. So it is to be expected that she is excited. Although when in the hospital I noticed when she was taking photos of everyone holding my daughter, she never took one of my daughter and I. Since then she constantly posts photos of her and my daughter together all the time, when she sees my daughter and visits. She never asks how I am doing, or feeling, she only talks about my daughter. When I do try to say how I am doing she stops listening and gets kind of quiet. I'll ask her about herself, and she'll say how she's doing but she mostly just talks about my daughter and wanting to get my daughter books and toys. Even a person she's friends with commented on social media 'hey we get your excited to be a grandma..but where's a photo of mom and baby?' It just is getting to me and I feel bad that it is, because she is a good mom and grandma I just feel a little forgotten and hurt at times. Does that make me selfish?

My (sorta) wealthy family is having a huge argument that may turn into a cilvil war soon over one of my dead cousins, who they believed was murdered. Should I just stay out of it or do something?

I used to be really close to my oldest sister until a recent argument. To try an upset me, she's been going out all day with my other two siblings that I don't get along with. Yesterday I went to hangout with my other older sister for the first time in a week and I thought things were okay, but I could tell she was being fake with me. As in, she's been talking badly about me with my sister behind my back but feels bad in my face. Anyways, I thought yesterday was OK given that we had hung out. But today I called my sister and she tells me that my oldest sister was about to go pick her up and bring her over. She ended up coming over, I went downstairs to let my dog out, I left the screen door a little cracked and while outside I hear my oldest sister slam the door shut. She clearly knew I was outside, but does petty things like this to anger me. After coming inside, she starts laughing very loud and obnoxiously while speaking to my other sister. I can't help but feel like an outsider, my oldest sister has been consistently talking badly about me to my entire family behind my back, including my mom who's a narcissist and ready to scapegoat any one of her kids (me In this situation). My other sister had asked me if I wanted to go trick or treating earlier and I just went downstairs to see all the Halloween decorations were out as if they had gone through them together before she left with my oldest sister without saying goodbye. What would you do?

My local gym allows kids at 13 to enter, only if accompanied with an adult. My sister wants me to take her son(my newphew) with me to get him more active. https://ibb.co/iVw0tL This is my regular gear, but i'm not if it's appropriate with a 13 year old. Maybe a tank top on top? Any insight would be more appreciated

When I was 22-23 I travelled to Europe, I went to Ukraine, Russia, France, England and Ireland. I speak Russian fluently, and Ukrainian well as well as French fairly well so I would flirt with the local babes. Me and this one girl lets call her Dasha, dated while doing the study abroad and I got a Facebook message from her. She's living in Brighton Beach NY, and she has a son and she knows that Im the father. She sent me a picture and the kid at three looks just like me minus my eye color, he has his mother's green eyes. She said that she thought I should now about my son, she is a single mother who works as a waitress. She told me that she would've told me sooner but she couldn't find a way to contact me. Heres the catch, she said that the her son has amblyopia and needs surgery on the eyes and that she needs my help for paying for it. Im 25 she's 21. What do I do? Im so overwhelmed.

When I see him all my shame opens that I enjoyed the abuse at the time. I was ages 7 to 10 and he was 22 to 25. He went to jail later for another sexual act and now is out and a sex offender. My parents have him to holidays still and act like I need to move on since it is 25 years later. They are right to a certain degree but I cannot shake off the shame when I am around him. It is not that I begrudge him, he was and is sick, but I cannot take the shame and self-hatred and weeks and weeks of dreading it in the lead up to the holiday. I did it for my grandparents while they were alive and I spent two months a year obsessing about the holidays because of the dread of this shame. Yet, now that the grandparents have died I feel okay going alone somewhere for Christmas and Thanksgiving. My parents see me twice a week anyway. They argue the uncle hasn't offended since getting out of jail and paid his price. Also that he has no where to go since both his wives have divorced him and have the kids (sometimes a son comes to Thanksgiving with him).

It's like the most harmless drug ever yet they try to cover up that they do it as much as possible. I asked my mom if she smoked weed when she was a teen and she said "we'll talk about my teenage years later" why wouldn't she just say no? She smokes cigarettes so I wouldn't doubt that she smokes weed, too. My sister and I both do it (I'm 17 and she is 19). My dad got mad at her for doing it even though he does it, which he denied. I don't think he knows that I do it. He knows I juul because my mom told me he found it in my room, but didn't take it. I literally found weed on his computer desk one time and he said "oh that was the neighbors from when they came over last night" which was a straight up lie because they NEVER came over the night before. I just went along with it though. If it is their house and their rules why can't they just tell us that they smoke weed? I honestly find it pretty funny that they try to cover it up.

Hi, I'm a 20 year old girl living at home with a full-time job. Since I was young my mom has always wanted to know who I was with, where I was and when I would come home etc etc. It all made sense then because I was 16 and still in high school. But now as a 20 year old she is still continuing to be very controlling over my life. In the past week I told her I was going to move in with my 25 year old boyfriend of 2 years that she likes. She continued to tell me how crazy I was, how I wasn't going to make it, how I was a bum and that my boyfriend was using me and would get tired of me. All this negative stuff. I feel as though I can never be home with her anymore. If I am ever out past 12 AM she is blowing up my phone telling me to come home and how she'll find me if I don't. I still have to ask her permission to stay over somewhere over night. If i go somewhere she still has to know, with who, where, and what time I'll be home. I really feel as though I can't experience my college years with her constantly hovering over me. The biggest part of me moving out is to live with the person I love and want to be with. But now with her being controlling, taking my things and constantly snooping in my room, I can't do it anymore. It's driving me insane. I've tried to talk to her about it and how I wasn't a child anymore and she needed to start treating me like an adult, she acts like she doesn't give a single care in the world. I have 2 older brother who she never acted this way with. How can I get her to stop hovering so much? I still have until January until I move out and I don't know if I can last until then.

We have 3 kids: a girl, and 2 boys. The boys are having a combined bday party this weekend. There bdays are just 5 days apart. We chose this weekend because our older son's Godparents couldn't make it last weekend due other commitments. Now his Godmother texts my wife their nephew's bday party is at the same time, and they need to see how they are going to divide their time. My wife and our younger son's Godmother have been busting their butts planning and preparing for the party. Invitations were sent out a month ago, but no one from their family told us anything about it interfering with their child's bday party. My wife is POed and has already made a point to tell me NOT to add on this kid to our sons' party. I don't really like the position this puts us in. We're having the party at the park in the common space, so no set cabana # or location yet. We have to go early to secure our spot. Would it be rude of us to request they NOT come? Letting us know last minute and not really giving a straight answer whether they will be coming or not. My wife is beyond furious with the whole family. They've all had their invitations for a month, and now 3 days before they essentially cancel their RSVPs. It's not just a few people. This family makes up half the guest list by themselves. They all RSVPed they would attend, and now they've changed it. Surely they knew when the kid's birthday would be when they RSVPed yes.