Lately al lot of my friends have gotten married and i just feel bad. I live on my own and car. The city life is you work and then go home, you do your own laundry and etc. The girls i seem to go out with wants me to take to expensive places and seems high maintenance. I think of my self as, mostly keeping to my self but not afraid to talk to people. Some of my friends say I'm still young and thinking too much. The girls i went out with are pretty and not bad but just got turned off, they seem self absorbed and think i attract the wrong kind of women I work out regularly, not that I'm bragging, people have described me at having broad defined triceps, shoulders, wide and strong chest. I live in NYC

I'm a single woman in my early 40's. I have a bff who is married. We were all sitting at a table and my bff's husband sat next to me. I noticed something touching my leg and I thought it was the table leg. Little later I noticed he had moved his leg to touch my leg. Then a little later as we were all eating, drinking and laughing, he put his hand on my knee. I didn't know what to do. I thought maybe he did it accidentally but he left his hand on my knee forever. Was he hitting on me? Did he want me to do something like hold his hand or put my hand on his knee?

Then why would the woman keep the man's last name

I don't let my husband see me naked. Even during sex. I either wear a night gown and he just moves my panties to the side or I just take off my pants. I don't even change in front of him. How can I overcome this? Do I have to overcome this or is it ok? I don't like anyone seeing me naked Sometimes he gets mad when I go into the bathroom to change. I don't even shower without locking the door. I'm scared he may become frustrated about it

This is the only time he has ever cheated on anyone. The other woman is someone he has known for a long time (since high school). His parents and children really like her. His son even calls her his other mom although he knows nothing of the affair.

This is the scenario: He cheated before he got engaged and continued after he was engaged he says he knows he needs to stop "maybe after he is married," Will he ever be faithful? Does he love his fiance if does this?

I've made up my mind and plan to get a labiaplasty sometime next fall. I'm 18 years old and am about to start college. I have enough money for the surgery, but my only question is how can I do this privately without my parents knowing. I am no longer a minor, so can my parents still view my medical records and history? thanks.

Well I am one to freak out so I went and got checked and they said I have no STDS or infections. So is this normal? Some days its worse than others but I have recently cut all sweet drinks like sodas and sweet tea and I noticed it has got a lot better, it also does not have a bad smell. I also take this over the counter-acidophilous which is good bacteria for your intestine and helps w down there because it is like yogurt. So this is normal? HELP

I have been with my now wife for two years. Everything is usually great between us, and we get a long and pick on each other and have fun, like most happily married couples do, but there is just one problem. She is emotionally and verbally abusive. Allow me to explain: Long story short one day in our first few months of dating she yelled and screamed at me for having a bad attitude on a camping trip and I got bitten alive by bugs, but I made it clear when we were FIRST dating that I hated camping. She yelled and screamed at me because I won't ride a roller coaster, even though I made it very clear when we were first together that I HATED them and won't ride one. She holds it against me that I did a giant swing ride with my ex, but I HATED it the whole time. She can criticize whoever she wants whenever and speak her mind, but if someone does it to her or I do it to her, I'm "attacking" her and I need to make it up to her ($100 dinner dates don't count I guess) Her brother and sister both know she has issues with anger and they tell her to "Go easy on him" and throughout various situations they tell her "Ashley that's not his fault" One time she was venting about money and I asked her why she didn't marry someone with more money. She knew my major wasn't going to pay much. (Religious Studies) She yelled and screamed for hours accusing me of sexism and she can make her own money. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time, and I've had enough.

I don't see him anymore but his grip in my thoughts seems to even be stronger with his absrnce. I already made a list on why it will never work out between us. But his memories are haunting me. I'm worried that if I see him, I might say the unthinkable. I love my husband and I love my marriage. How do I deal with this?

I know what I need to do to express love so I do those things. But when it comes to passionate feelings or a rush of emotion, I don't have those. I haven't had those in a long time, I can't even remember the last time I had those feelings honestly. But I know I love my wife, so I do things that I know would express this love in its place. As far as that fire within my body that makes my body jump or I get butterflies when I'm around her - no I do not have those feelings any more after these 14 years together. My wife does not give me those feelings, and I know I don't give my wife those feelings (because she wouldn't act the way she does if I did). Does that mean we are no longer "in love" or does that just mean we have "mature love"?

So, I'm 24. My plans are to get married soon enough as you might guess. I have everything planned out except how many kids I'd like to have with my future wife. I'm thinking maybe 1. All my cousins are married and have kids. It's sad that I haven't married yet!! I feel as though I'm behind the eight ball. Thank you!! My cousins each have either 3 or 4 kids. I feel that's a lot, maybe a bit too much...

After talking to most of you on here, over the years I got a sense that you take great pride in being your spouse's mate. You respect their achievement, their personality, their skills, their time, their space, their body, and you respect their values & core beliefs. But that's not how I feel about my spouse/marriage... First and foremost, I'm not proud of myself. My parents only had pride in me when I was getting A's and B's; so when my grades started to tank, my worth to them was next to nothing. There were even times where I felt like I shouldn't have been born so my parents didn't have to spend money to feed me. These feelings worsened when they lost my childhood house due to foreclosure after I moved out... As far as community goes, I was never raised in a community. I was raised agnostic and without social status; so I have no church families, neighbors, or affiliations. I never took pride in any of my schools either; my peers bullied me relentlessly, so I had no school spirit. I did take pride in my work life, but that got old when I realized I was disposable in this "at will" employment state... I also had brief moments of pride: like when I met my wife, married my wife, when my son was born, and when my daughter was born; but those feelings from hitting milestones quickly faded when people were "over it". I realize having pride is probably an important part of marriage, but it's hard to have pride in your spouse when you don't even have pride in yourself. Is proud not the action of pride? Maybe I have my words wrong here... No. I was using it correctly: Pride means having a feeling of being good and worthy. The adjective is proud. The word pride can be used in a good sense as well as in a bad sense. In a good sense it means having a feeling of self-respect.

I have a friend that I'm really close with. When we first met, it was very intense. We were both very into each other and he would always tell me that he liked me and wanted to be in a relationship with me. I didn't want to start anything with him because I felt I wasn't in a good place in my life, and I knew that he was dealing with stuff also. So we decided to just be friends. We would always call or text each other and hang out at least once a week. During this time, we both would "mess around" with other people. I never really cared since at the time I viewed him as just a friend; him, on the other hand would always get jealous and very upset and we'd fight about it and be mad for a day or two and then we'd get over it and reconcile. About 5 months ago we got into a pretty bad argument over some stupid stuff that happened when we were both drunk. I told him I didn't have feelings for him and that he needed to stop acting like my boyfriend, out of anger, but I didn't mean it. We stayed away from each other for a while to help cool things off. During this time he started dating someone. Every time him and I hang out, he always calls her to chat for a bit, he sweet talks her and once he hangs up, he tells me that he needs to get rid of her and complains of how annoying and clingy she is. Then he usually starts telling me that he wants to find a girl like me to be with, which confuses the hell out of me because well hello I'm single and what he's looking for. Anyway, I went out with him and a bunch of guys this weekend and the guy I invited was trying to keep me away from him the whole night and I think my friend noticed and of course was jealous. I called him later after I got home to explain and he didn't even let me talk, just told me he was busy and hung up. He did it again today which was weird cause he's always happy to talk to me. So now I'm sitting here realizing that I have major feelings for him, but I don't know what to do to get him back... I don't know how to feel. Do I still have a chance or is he over me?

I use to be really bad but I am doing 10 times better. He is changing the transmission in my car & day after day complaining about how my driving is. It s like he can t see how I am doing any better. The only thing I need to work on is not driving fast when I am in a hurry. I don t know, I just need help. I feel like I am constantly being criticized without any notice of improvement. Doesn t help he drives perfect. Huh....help

My wife recently started facebooking a guy that went to school with her younger brothers. It started out very innocent, it was stuff about their family and such. Then he came clean and said he had a crush on her ever since they were young. He gave her, her number she texted him just kind of general talking. Then Saturday night we were hanging out with friends playing cards, and every chance she could she was texting him between her turn to play. my friends and I were getting irritated, later that night I waited until she slept and read her text. he was asking for her to send pictures of her boobs and such. She said no, she was married. but she said she still wanted to be friends. I confronted my wife and she told me everything, showed me all the messages like I hadn't already seen them, and said she'll take care of it. I left it at that, then the next day I got on the computer and she had left her facebook up and he had messaged her again saying he wanted "it" and telling her he couldn't be her friend because she was cute and he wanted to have sex with her and I wouldn't like it. She said it wasn't going to happen, then showed me the message. I told her I didn't want her to talk to him again because to me he can't respect our marriage. She got mad and said if I brought it up again she'll go to her parents. I don't know what to do, its eating me up thinking another guy is trying to get with my wife.

I'm not good at being two people at the same time. I don't go to work being "the I.T. guy" and myself; I choose one identity, and I leave the other at home. I don't do this out of some self abuse thing, I do this because sometimes my "self" would never do something that "the I.T. guy" would do. I imagine this isn't much different than anyone else who believes in roles; the soccer mom is the soccer coach on the sidelines before she's a "mom", the fisherman is in character and rarely discusses his fear of sharks, the student gets over the fact they hate studying because that's unproductive to "learning"... So I go in ONE role, and I stay there because it makes decision making eaiser. Well on my way into work today I asked my wife how she felt about marriage (I know, I should have asked this 11 years ago). She said it's a legal contract of two individuals who are also required to adhere to role behaviors... Say wha-? I said you can't do both; you can't be an individual AND a role at the same time because there will be internal conflict. She said "This isn't all or nothing, there's a grey area where you can do both" but then she said that marriage is complex when I asked her what to do when you're presented with options to be an individual or a team (since both is allowed). In my opinion, it isn't complex, she's just making it complex and driving me insane. What's your thoughts, is this constant flip flopping between roles (bipolarity as I see it) normal? Anonymous - I can't best answer you or comment because you have me blocked. Either fix it, or stop wasting your time. Anonymous - You just like the fact that you can shove your opinion in my face, I'm forced to deal with it and be traumatized by how wrong you are, and I can't interact with you without making it public on the top of my question. This has more to do with you having power than it does you giving worthwhile advice... Admit it, you are just trying to get under my skin by keeping me blocked so I can't talk to you in comments...

I don't share what I'm feeling or thinking with most people. I try sharing with my Fiance but she can be too judgmental or aggressive. She usually doesn't get me. We've been together for 9 years and we're getting married in 6 months. When we got engaged we decided to move in together. And it can be hard living together because she's quick to yell and it feels like a daily occurrence which wasn't the case before we moved in together. Recently, I started speaking to a girl at work. We've known each other for about a year but never really spoke until recently when we shared something about ourselves, something personal, that we quickly bonded over. Ever since then we couldn't stop talking and I love talking to this person. This person also loves speaking with me. When I'm not talking to them I THINK about them. They're nice and they get me and they can be so easy to talk to. But the more I talk to her the more I terrible I feel about the relationship with my Fiancé because I'm developing strong feelings for this other person. A part of me wants to ask her if she's feeling the same way… Speaking with this girl did get me to think about my relationship. Do I want kids? Would I regret not having them? My Fiance does not want kids. She hates kids. I don't want them now and I'm not sure if I'll want them in the future but I want the possibility of having them. I don't know where to go from here. Do I give up all those years for the possibility of having kids with someone? I'm not sure if anyone actually read the question... I never cheated on her. I just have a crush on a coworker. I can guarantee that most of you have had crushes on other people while in a relationship. It's normal. Especially after 9 years. This coworker is not just a coworker. She's a friend that I just recently started getting close with. I'm developing feelings for her, I am, but i can't just stop talking to her. She's one in a group of friends. I see her everyday. My fiance and I DID speak about this and she gave me a choice. No kids EVER or leave her. It's my choice. I didn't think this had to be stated since i said in the question that she didn't want kids. She HATES kids. She's angry and we fight but she's not a ***** either. I've always been faithful. And she and I have been good up until we moved in together. Yes, it took 7 years to get engaged (2 year engagement) but we were in college for 4 yrs... Some of you ate so judgmental... I don't get it...

I recently got married to my husband but money is very tight. We were renting but it got expensive so we moved in with my in laws. It's been ok but nothing like living alone with your husband especially as newlyweds. My husband works for his father. And I work as a Teacher. My husband wants to have children. (He is 27 and I am 24). I would like too as well but not living with his parents. I feel I won't have any special time to with my kids just like I don't have that with my husband. My bedroom and my in laws bedroom is right next door to each other!!! (Yes it is killing my sex life) my wedding night was also spent there! I'm just so tired of this and now my husband is saying that we can make the guest room a babies room. Which is downstairs when people walk in etc by the front door!my mother in law is a big clean freak so even toys everywhere might bother her and she doesn't believe in baby showers or clutter. So if I buy extra things for my baby she might get upset because it's "cluttering" her precious home. I love my in laws but I don't think I can live under the same roof with them and my kids for the next 5-10 years until my husband thinks he can save for a house . I don't know what to do! And also every time I try to speak to him about it he gets angry. I just don't know what to say or do.also ( my mother in law wants us to move out already on our own too in a nice way she wants us to move on) it's my husband who is loving the living for free feeling. Help! Advice!

Idk I'm a pretty 20 year old African American female and I go to a state university, and I'm single as single can be. I've heard that college increases your chances of getting married. I mean I'm not in college for the sole purpose of meeting my Mr.Right. But I deff do wanna get married after I'm done with school. And most of the guys at my school, esp the white guys (who I'm into) don't really dig black girls like that. I work at forever 21 part time, and I couldn't imagine dropping out of college and working there full time. I'd never find a husband. One of my managers is 28 and really pretty, but of course she can't find a husband cause all the men that do work at forever 21 are gay lol. I wanna work for a public relations firm when I'm done with college, but even then I feel as a black women I still won't find future husband

Your husband's haircut. Do you care how short/long it is or what style (assuming it's not something crazy like a Mohawk)? Do you care if he changes it up without telling you? Thanks.

First let me explain, I hate to ask him cause he will know ive lied to him. I only had one sexual partner before him, while dating i lead him to believe i slept with the 3 guys i made out with, though with two fo the guys we satisfied each other by hand). he thinks i have experience when im really dumb when it comes to sex. Now the question is this, during sex when hes about to or is getting one off, he often says "you're milking me". What does he mean by "milking me"? At first i thought it was because i suck his nips during that time but hes said it when i wasnt sucking them. Help! BTW, i forgot to add he is my husband.

I am married with 2 toddlers however I find myself infatuated every 2-3 months with different good looking guys. Recently I am obsessed with a (imo a HOT) NBA player and I swear I think about him all day and even dream about him and imagine marrying him somehow. Why do I do this? I admit that I have a respectable kind husband but because of his busy job and the kids, I just feel like all I am to him is a nanny/cleaner/vagina. is this why I dream of better?

I have posted a lot over the years looking for answers. I tried many things short of counselling (she wasn't interested and still isn't). I work a 40 hour week doing work that she considers menial and low paying. Meanwhile her career is taking off and she is surrounded by smart and wealthy fellow countrymen. Yes she is Chinese. Yes she married me in China and we made plans to come to Australia. It wasn't easy. Many fights, her swearing at me, breaking my things, being nasty. It was a power struggle. But it was mixed in with a few months of relative calm. As I said, she now works in real estate and has abolsutely no time for me. She says it is to manage all of the debt she accrued in getting properties. I also work hard. I'm applying for nursing work and trying to make a career transition. I'm 32 years old. We have no kids. When I try to breach the topic of how I often feel disconnected from her, she gets angry and takes it as a threat to her work and becomes verbally nasty. Last night I tried to talk about feeling a bit disconnected and wanting to do something with her. Then it started...in my face trying to tell me what I should be doing and who the hell I think I am. That we have nothing in common to talk about and spending time with me is a waste of time because it will put pressure on her thinking about our finances. Before that she was calm and she talked about us having a nice home. I see her standards keep going higher and higher in terms of what she expects to obtain. It went downhill fast today. She started off by walking out without saying anything to me like I didn't even exist. She then accused me of being useless for not having a career. I responded with a text that said I will go if she thinks I'm nothing....that started her off in a massive tirade of 10 messages. Just go, low pay and have no dignity or face, no man like you will not know what is important in your life and only think about for fun, do not do anything for our future, I have to think if our marriage will be ok or not, from now on we don't need to talk unless you change the way to talk to me every night,... you have no good job and complain I work hard every day, what a good man I have, I don't care if you tell your parents, I won't go to Christmas with your family unless you go to the hospital and find a nursing job first. I replied that maybe she is embarrassed to be with me for my low salary so she must want to change to a better man like kicking me away to find a richer man,...Her: "I am sh** woman want rich man. I don't want to talk. Don't message me as I don't want to hear it. Do whatever.... Now you happy, I should say you did a good job....I asked her why she is presenting such a negative side of her culture and leading me to believe that Chinese only care about money..."Yes I'm sh** and I will move out as soon as I can [every time there is a fight she says she doesn't care and she is leaving which she never does]. I tried to reason back with asking why she is being so bloody defensive...it was met with 'goodbye and find some woman to spend lots of time with you....f you. MY QUESTION: She later tried to call me and I refused to answer. A few months ago I took her literally and went out with a female friend and it created WW3. Anyway that passed. I feel like it is just a case of never being good enough for her. She just tries to keep me around to pay bills and hold on to hope for me to find better work. Anyway I have been stripped of all my dignity by the woman who promised to love me. I am having a hard time to answer the question TO STAY OR TO GO....? I FEEL: like I am a failure. Not much of a man. Not good enough to raise a family. Unable to get my priorities straight and perhaps not even worth living. I am planning to see a GP for help around my depression and feelings of not being good enough. Actually it is ironic on the dignity point because she is right in saying I have none by virtue of the fact I let her insult me with it. A person with dignity just leaves. Jist emptionally shuts down. What's the point? I have been in these shoes before where I started to shut down and gravitate towards a whole new life. I even searched for a new apartment...

The story is, when my husband and I first started dating we were having sex a lot. However, after I became convicted from God that having sex before marriage is wrong, I told my then boyfriend that I can't continue willingly disobeying God. So I told him that I wanted to stop until we are married. He was not happy at first and still tried to have sex with me but he eventually got the point and was supportive of my decision. A couple months later we got married, and now he does not want to have sex anymore! He told me that he's not in the mood anymore and he will have to warm up again to it. We have been married for almost 3 months and we have only had sex 3 times! And each time I had to persuade him. I tried to be understanding, since he was to me, but I just don't understand how it can be taking him so long to get back in the swing of things. I'm starting to feel like he's just doing this as payback. But he says that is not true. This is so embarrassing to say here, but he won't see a counselor. I don't know what to do. Other than this, our relationship is great. I don't mind practicing self control to an extent. I mean how long can he keep this going? Months, a year, a couple of years? Somewhere down the line this can't keep going on. Also I would have seen a counselor when I told him about my convictions if he would have been ok with that. We got married three months later after I told him about my conviction. If it was such an issue for him he did not have to stay in a relationship with me and marry me. Instead I feel like he just decides to punish me for it later. @a Guy bein a Guy & and most people that answered: Coming from a non Christian view that would make sense. But to seek revenge on a person who is only trying to follow moral convictions does not feel supportive, like he said he would be, it seems vindictive. Seems like we are just not on the same page on what is morally acceptable.

Do guys care how many guys you've slept with or made out with or even dated in the past.. Just at the very least.. Made out with.. Is this normal.. Or I just date jealous guys? If so.. WHY?!

I got married to my husband 3 weeks ago and we said we were saving our virginity for our wedding night. I promised him that we would have sex on our wedding night but when we were about to have sex, I started crying and I chickened out. My husband looked all annoyed and frustrated because I made him wait 4 years to do it with me and I chickened out and I feel so bad. Before you tell me that he's just using me for sex, I can tell you that he's not. When we first started dating I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and he said he would do it because he said he loved me and would want to be married before we shared that special moment together. Now it seems he doesn't even want to be near me, or kiss me or hug me or cuddle with me. Or if I even try to discuss what we could do sexually so I can prepare myself for It all he says is 'don't bother because you're going to say no. You should've been preparing yourself for those years I made a major sacrifice for you because I loved you' I feel so bad for disappointing him and I don't want to disappoint him any longer. I'm just so scared and terrified of having sex as I'm afraid it will hurt really bad, ;'((((( please help me I don't want to disappoint my husband any longer because I can tell he's getting sick of me ;'((

My husband and I dated for 2 years married for 1.When we dated he was clear on the fact that he had watched porn in the past but didn t really like it but he used it when he wasn t dating anyone. I don t like porn in committed relationships unless both spouses are ok with it . My husband agreed not to watch it while we were dating but about a year in I asked him if he had and he confessed. I almost broke up with him but promised not to do it againWe ve now been married a year and I have always asked him every few months of he had watched an opportunity to confess because honestly is more important to me than veiwing porn. He denied it until a week ago when I asked him if he was sure- he than confessed to looking at boobs and then more and so pretty much he has been lying to me about it blatantly for all of our marriage and part of when we dated. Anyway,he confessed to liking porn and wanting to watch it. I can t trust him about it, feel betrayed & now need to either learn to be ok with him watching porn or learn to like it myself. I feel betrayed because when we were dating he said he didn t like it so I assumed if we always had lots of sex he would be fine. I am angry because it was unfair to me and I am the one who has to fix it . He won t go to counseling and he feels bad about the situation so I can t just sit there and yell about the crapy situation. At this point I am really upset and just hiding it from him but I am just having an extremely hard time. Suggestions?