friends they sometimes say (as a friendly joke) I'm their adopted brother.

I drew my benefits early @62. SS said I would get more on mine because he was a teacher and got low benefits in TX. Now 65 and my ex died. I was married to him 12 years, divorced him 1987, and I am not remarried. Can I get a death benefit or lump sum? he did remarry 20+yrs ago.

I hate her for killing him BQ! Will I be able to see him in heaven and reunite with him or will he choose his UGLY second wife? He was run over by a drunk driver while investgating another accident.

So I've been dating this guy off and on for a while, over the years and have always wondered his true intentions. He is divorced as of 5 years yet I feel he has feelings for still for the ex...for example he bought her something for Valentine's Day, invited her to dinner with his family and even offered to pay her rent if she moved back closer to him with their son! While we do the typical dating things ... He just got back from Vegas with her uncle whom he invited to go with him! He also brought his kid as well! I'm sorry but if your divorced and trying to date other people, you cut certain ties so that it's not awkward for the next person. He says he's all for me but yet he's doing these things with her and not open about it! I borrowed his iPad and just found out he invited her to his sisters house for dinner and to Disneyland with his family back on Halloween and she spent the night at his house so that she wouldn't have to drive. Pretty sure he was intimate with her per the text. I know about her but she doesn't know about me...isn't that weird ! He also recently accused her of being bitter with him and that he just has to accept that. He criticizes her about how much she works. And is always invested in her family! He also doesn't have me around his 5 year old kid ever too. So what do you guys think does he still have feelings for her!! I mean I get coparenting but this is a bit much! Am I his long term or is she?

You always see the guy kind of just going along what the woman wants and being laid back and just going to work to provide for his wife and then coming home to hear orders from her about what to do. You see the wife driving the cart at the grocery store telling what he gets to eat or doesn't get to eat, the wife tells him what he can or can't watch on TV, the wife changes his entire wardrobe to fit her wants. Why are women so controlling in marriage?

I barely know him and we only spoke a couple of times. But my crush on him intensified just recently. I don't think he share the sentiment and I want to focus on my husband. But this guy occupies my thoughts. How do I forget about him if I see him often?

My husband works full-time as a truck driver, I get that. But he is also an incredibly selfish person at times. When he gets home from work, he will literally sit on the couch as if he is glued down to it and never once ask me if I would like to pick something to watch on tv. I cook, clean, take care of the kids, and am on maternity bedrest and would love to relax to my favorite program. Should one spouse be allowed to watch what they want, while never asking what others want to watch? Is this normal male behavior? I never, ever get to watch tv. I take care of my children and home and am following my dr's orders.

i mean its not like i'm some kind of sex machine that can have sex whenever he wants me too or whenever he feels like it.

Or is this just me...?

I've decided that I *still* don't understand this "respect" thing.... I thought (over the last 3.5 years) that respect had to do with how you treat someone. Example: I respected my wife's decision to remain quiet on the way home from work by not talking to her about my day. I've also heard it used in the sense of admiration and in a person's worth. Example: I had a lot of respect for my wife because she got high marks on that test that I failed. I've also seen it used when it came to dominance though. Example: She told me I was the head of the house but she chose to not respect my authority when it was needed of her to do so. I've even seen it used in a way to give someone a "pass" for being ignorant. Example: She told me that she did not agree with me leaving the house, but she respected my decision to do so. So I don't know how you use it, but it seems like to me that any time we want to make up an excuse on why someone should think highly of us, we use the word respect.... I think the word "honor" works better than respect in some of those (like the dominance one) but I am told/shown that these are all acceptable uses of the word, respect. Anyways, would you respect a man who was sensitive, altruistic, peace minded, loving, compassionate, valued harmony, and yielded more than stood his ground? Why or why not?

I'm 23 and I just graduated from nursing school. I have been applying for jobs and I have been really stressed. Usually my husband and I have sex all the time sometimes twice a day. Lately I haven't been in the mood due to stress. Lat night my husband wanted to have sex but I was so stress I couldn't even think straight. First he tried to sweet talk me saying "it's fine honey I got the bills you just take care of the house and bare our future babies" I got so irritated with him because he knows how much hard work and money we invested in my career so it's sort of a slap in the face to hear that. We got into a really heated argument saying how I don't act like myself lately and how women belong in the kitchen bare foot and pregnant anyways. Then he went on a rant about thats whats wrong with women now a days they are too busy trying to be men. My husband is 34 and that's how his parents raised him so I try to respect his views but I just don't agree. Am I ungrateful? Is he right for feeling this way? Please no rude comments thanks.

I know he likes Harry Potter, the show Suits, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, the Longhorns, the Texans, any football game for the Xbox, The Hunger Games, and the Legend book series. Thats all I can think of right now. I was thinking about getting him a Xbox One but they're so expensive so I don't know if I want to get him that and then I don't want to get him Madden 16 just in case he ends up getting an Xbox One soon. I already did Harry Potter themed presents for him for his birthday so I don't really want to do that again. I really need any ideas. Please help!

We got married recently but our relation is not going well , i tried many ways to make her understand but she is not understanding anything so i decided to move away from her life..... when i talk about divorce etc... she is saying she wont give me a divorce and she will give whenever she things or she says she will make false case against me ...what to do please help to handle this kind of girl ....also she is carrying my kid now............. I came to know through my friends like she got job in my place but she took separate house and living there , she is not willing to come to me...... she is having lots of assumption about me and making spoil her life .........i feel if we both stay together all issues will be resolved but she is not ready to live in same house,,,, she is just looking at money not my feeling and emotions ...... she says she is earning and she does not having any expectation from me but she says i should leave my parents and run behind her.... its *** metal stress for me .... anyway i am living alone now..... but i completely able to understand mentally but my HEART is not accepting it because i loved her truly and she has my kid..... now if i divorce i may need to support for my kid... dont know how to handle ..... please any good thoughs and any good lawyer in south Carolina area ( columbia city)

Child Support question. I used to work in the oilfield. This not only gave me a good paycheck, but allowed me to keep my son half the month. Also, I paid twice the amount on child support. Well, I got laid off the beginning of the year. I now have a lower income job, and I only have weekends off. I not only don't have my son as much anymore, but I've had to go back to paying the normal amount on child support. The ex-wife hasn't been very understanding. There are certain weekends that I have important stuff to do in which I can't bring my son along, but she never wants me to have important plans come up, because apparently she always has something she wants to do on the weekend without her son. Well, not long ago, she really screwed up one of my weekends, and two weekends ago, she asked me to please cancel my moving plans so she could have her anniversary. This was very short notice, and my wife and I had delayed enough to keep Tyson during the weekend. Now the ex is mad and denying me court ordered rights to see my son because I screwed up her anniversary plans. I have two extra dependents in my household now, yet she is convinced that she can take me back to court for more child support. Really? I think the court takes other dependents into account. I'm thinking of pushing for 50/50 custody, but I'm not sure how that will go in Alabama. She wants me to have him that much, but doesn't want it on paper. What can I do?

I value, above everything else, peace/love/harmony (PLH). I'm not a hippie, but I am a pacifist. Even if we win something through brute force, it isn't a final victory, it just creates AHD (see below); you can only truly win through harmless, loving, and harmonious objective discussions about the problem/situation. That is my belief, and it isn't a very popular one, but it is what it is. My wife knows that I value PLH and I think she puts me in situations where I have to choose between conflict or PLH knowing that I'll choose PLH since I want to avoid cognitive dissonance (acting against my beliefs). So knowing that I'll always choose the PLH answer, she asks false dichotomy questions that pigeonhole me into choosing between two things where one is a sure argument and the other is her getting her way and me maintaining PLH. And if I choose a 3rd thing, she tells me that it isn't an option and argues with me anyways. Funny thing is, she actually exploited PLH immediately after my son was born. She said "It's child trauma if you argue in front of your kids" and then she asks these questions in front of them... I took on my PLH values when I decided I was NOT going to be like my mother. She believes in using aggression/hate/dominance just like HER parents did. She just harassed me for not putting my Xmas tree up when she told me to yesterday (she still thinks she's my matriarchal boss)... My Dad is a PLH person too; seems like all PLH people get exploited by AHD people.

I already know she is, i just act like i don't, if i divorce her then my life will become a trainwreck, what should i do?

Hello support group. How are you this fine morning? So my wife is a ritualistic kind of woman who would lose her mind if not part of the routine. This ritual looks autistic in nature but it's actually her way of coping with life and her undiagnosed (but clearly obvious) ADHD caused by her OCD-like thoughts. Within that ritual though, there are external social queues so she knows how much time she has left (she's a terrible time manager). Sadly, I am her social queues... And if I'm off queue, she panics and gives me grief for "not doing my part". By her ritual, I am supposed to be out of bed by 6am so she knows the next alarm is for her; next I'm supposed to be out of the shower by 6:45am so she can be in the shower by 7; lastly, I am also supposed to take our son to school by 7:40am so she can make our lunches. So with her making ME part of her ritual, I experience so much grief when i'm having a bad day and wake up late, or shower late, or I take him late (but still on time); she'll stay in bed, forget to shower, or we'll have to eat quick scraps she found in the fridge (we work together). If most of you haven't figured it out, I'm suffering from depression. It's not chronic where I can't meet the basic needs of life, but it's persistent enough that my emotional/mental state SUCKS. And with me being held accountable to help her cope with life (like a drug) it makes me feel like I lost authority over my life; especially if I value peace/love/harmony (and I do). Help? If you choose to answer this question, help me cope with this "dynamic" while maintaining my beliefs that peace/love/harmony is (above everything else) the ultimate goal. Is it possible to cope better than just hearing her blaming me for why the morning didn't go well? MIND YOU - I don't want "control over my life" because I do believe in "marriage" and having a shared responsibility to each other's life/goals and to be supportive. BUT what she's doing isn't shared control or supportive at all, it's just her depending on me in a very unhealthy way due to her poor time management skills and her inability to get out of her head to do what needs to be done (like get ready for work).

About a week ago I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell my husband because I wanted to surprise him. He went through my things and found the positive pregnancy test that I was going to use in the surprise. Yesterday morning he was acting like an asshole. Later he came home from work really angry. I asked what's wrong he said " do you want to tell me anything " I said no because I had no idea on what he was talking about. Then he yelled at me telling me "this is the **** I'm talking about Lynn your always hiding **** from me" I was so confused because I never hide anything from my husband. And my husband never curses at me unless he is really mad then conversation escalated into a huge arguement and he asked me if the baby was even his. It hurt me so bad because my husband knows me better than that and I told him I didn't know if he was the father was, which I feel horrible about saying. This morning he tried to have sex with me and apologize but I wasn't feeling it at all. I just feel so hurt. Am I wrong for not telling him? Is right for reacting that I'm so confused. Am i overeacting? Please answer.

Is that grounds for divorce?? -Thanks to all!

So my husband got let go from his amazing job last week. He thought this was "the" job. But I guess not. And now he wants to work from home writing for other companies. I seriously don't like this idea because he can be a lazy guy. And working at home you need motivation to work. And I have trouble seein him actually work. Especially being home with our son all day with full access to his video games and tv. I just don't know. But I was reading a conversation between him and his dad and he is pretty disappointed I won't let him do it. Do you think I'm being too harsh?