Weddings: Question: How do I handle wedding guests invitation situation? |
- Question: How do I handle wedding guests invitation situation?
- Question: Is it typical to be a bridesmaid to your future sister in law? What if I don't know her well?
- Question: What if you had discovered that your fiance had sent gift(s) to his ex-girlfriend. How would react?
Question: How do I handle wedding guests invitation situation? Posted: 23 Oct 2017 06:00 PM PDT My fiancé and I are getting married this winter. We are also an interracial couple. When we were engaged, my family and his family were thrilled and happy for us. When the wedding planning started, it became a nightmare. My parents and I did not talk for eight months because my fiancé and I were having an American wedding. Save the Date has been printed, handed out or mailed. Invitations has been printed and assembled ready to be mailed. (Although my family has received our wedding invitations already). On the day when I handed out my Save the Date and invitations, domino-effect, one-by-one, aunts and uncles refusing to attend my wedding when they noticed on the invitation stated, "this is an adult only affair." One uncle said, "well if my (3) children cannot come then I ain't going." I talked to my parents about doing a Vietnamese reception where my extended family can attend; plus it would make my dad very happy because he'll be able to invite his friends from the Air Force. It was settled and agreed. My fiancé's family and my friends will attend the American wedding and my extended family will attend the Vietnamese reception. Since 60 family members will attend the Vietnamese reception only, I invited a few more friends and colleagues to attend my wedding. Now my cousins are telling me, "my entire family and I are going to your wedding." Some cousins even went to our wedding website and already RSVP! Because of cost, I am unsure of what to do! In addition, my fiancé has suggested that I tell my family that they cannot come to our American wedding. In my train of thought - I believe that there's no take back. I handed out our wedding invitation, then my extended family accepted and then read it but realized no kids allowed then decline verbally. I can't take back the invitation because they left my grandparents' house (where all my aunts and uncles were at one day for lunch when I handed out the invitation). Majority of my cousins are college kids; some are married with kids. I wrote "adult only affair" because two cousins have a set of three kids. Plus my uncle also had three young children too. It's a lot of kids aside from flower girl and ring bearer and we are on a very tight budget. |
Posted: 23 Oct 2017 05:59 PM PDT I've never really held a conversation with her, just part of a group convo. She is about 8-10 years younger than me. She asked me to be a bridesmaid. I just feel awkward not knowing her well and I am not a gushy excited type. I'm worried I'm going to be a bad bridesmaid. I don't really know what to do because I'm a bit of an anti-wedding type of person, too. I don't want to be fake but I could NEVER be rude. I'm just going to be lukewarm about everything and just kind of "in attendance". I feel awkward about all of it and I feel guilty that I'm probably not going to be a good bridesmaid. I feel like nobody else has experienced this. Can anyone relate? |
Posted: 23 Oct 2017 06:19 AM PDT We have been engaged a number of years. It's twice for both of us. He is divorced. It is me that wants to take my time getting married. I discovered that my fiance had sent a gift to his ex-girlfriend, an ex-girlfriend that he wanted to marry, but she never wore the engagement ring and then she broke up with him. He was devastated and he told me he was deeply in love with her at the time. They had dated less than a year. I recently discovered that he sent her a birthday gift during the first year we were engaged. This was the year we took a vacation together. The gift was from our vacation and it was a t-shirt with the location stated on it from where we went. I know he had once sent her a birthday card a year earlier before we were engaged and when I questioned it, he made up all sorts of stories before he finally came clean. We had been dating seven months by then, when he sent her the birthday card. I slowed the relationship down at that point and then he proposed to me shortly after that. The birthday gift to her, "after" we were engaged fits the timeline of our vacation and her birthday. I have not confronted him about this. I beg to wonder than "how much" contact he has had with her and if any "other gifts" have been sent her way since then. You know, the power of an ex-girlfriend and one he loved so much, has a huge influence, even after several years. It's not that I am jealous, it's not low self-esteem. It's about covering up or being lied to or doing things behind my back that is unnerving. Yes, it's complicated because of my emotions involved with this person. This is someone I dated a "very long time ago," someone I would have married if he had asked. I was quite young at the time. Out of the blue, circumstances brought us back together again. Since I was never going to date again, I thought with him, having known him from my past, I would give it a go. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me. I have a neighbor that stuck with her husband after 3 dui's and he was thrown in jail. They have two children. She stuck with him and did not turn her back on him. I figure due to her religious beliefs. I have a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her, she forgave him and took him back anyway. Were they being stupid or was it blind loyalty or a sense of trying to do the right thing for a marriage or relationship. I don't know. |
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