In HS and college i was always with my SO and the big group of male friends we both shared together. They all have stated on multiple occasions that I am "the mom of the group" and like a little sister to them all. Anyways he is having my SO and all of our original group of male friends stand up on his side along with the brides male siblings. 20 bridesmaids/groomsman. However I did not get asked to stand up. i'm not offended or anything b/c me and his bride are semi close but not the best of friends. I did get invitations for all the bridal party/ bridal shower events that have occurred but I didn't go. 1 b/c flights are super expensive and 2 b/c i'm not standing up at the wedding so I didn't feel a real need to go. If I was asked to stand up I would have atleast made it to 1 of the events. Now he's where the tricky part lies. We had planned to move back home the weekend of the wedding in september but now we have to fly there for the wedding, stay at a hotel, fly back here and start driving back that way, which is a 30+ hr drive. The inconvenience of it all is worth it b/c we want to be there on his special day but i'm just wondering with all of the commotion involved for us what kind of gift are they expecting? Also keep in mind that they both all that we are doing to make it there for them. To top it all off when we get back they want us to move into a house with them, which i kindly declined. So that adds to the confusion of the whole thing.

Groomsmen are wearing gray suits and brown shoes. The bridesmaids are wearing red dresses. I cannot decide if i should have the bridesmaids wear brown, nude, or gray. Thanks!