First and foremost, My mother was controlling and abusive my entire life but I always aimed to never become her. I want to be better than her. I'm 27. NO KIDS. I don't do drugs, i don't party, I rarely even go out unless its for work. A college graduate with a bachelors in communications. I'm a subsitute teacher. I'm not trying to be braggy but People do consider me to me pretty. People also consider me to be funny. I have a big sense of humor. I love to laugh and make other laugh. I go through depression and anxiety periodically but I still try to be there for my friends and I always try to make them laugh even when I'm not feeling the best mentally. I was a virgin up until a couple of years ago where I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend. okay so heres the deal heres my problem. my current boyfriend: he's 35. 3 Kids. Two baby mamas. Anger issues. OCD. Controlling. but he claims he loves me and he's never cheated. Lost my virginity to him when I was 24. We've been together 4 years. We've met each other's families. Deep down I know his heart is in the right place but he's mentally unstable I believe. He lives with his mom and grandmother. He was there for me financially when I didn't have money and drives me everywhere I need to go. but once again.. controlling. big issue is the controlling. this other guy i dated when I was like 21 didnt have any kids, had his own place, he was funny seemed like he had a good personality until he cheated on me. guy friend who I currently like : stand up guy Amazing personality, amazing personality. sensitive to women's wants and needs. We've been friends for 10 years. Killer bond. extremely kind, funny, and good looking. Also extremely smart and articulate. has multiple buisnesses, a nice car, brand new house. He is the same age as me 27. We both mesh well together and vibe well. can't think of any faults except for the fact that he's always busy. but PROBLEM: HE got back together with his ex FML. so when I was 20 I was talking to this guy and I really wanted to be with him. Found out he didn't want to committ. .spent the whole summer hanging out with him 24/7 only to find out he still didn't want to committ to a relationship. We were inseperable but he didnt wanna committ. he claimed I was a good girl and he would be bad for me. But we kissed a lot. When I was 19 I met a guy I was vibing with, we had a lot in common. I told him how I liked him and he said I wasn't his type. Once again, he had his own place, two jobs, nice guy, NO KIDS, funny, nice. Also When I was 19 I dated a guy who cheated on me and who I believe was mentally ill. found out he lied about a lot of things portaining to his life. couple months ago I found out on the news that he shot his preganant girlfriend. dodged a bullet there, but its still scary to know I dated him. I DON'T like these crazy bad guys. I honestly would love for a good man to walk in my life but you see based on my history they are either taken or not interested. I didn't even know these bad men were bad when i dated them to be honest. I don't purposedly seek out this terrible men. They show their colors later down the road.