So I am an asian guy and sometimes I wished that I was born a girl especially a chinese girl so that I can try out for miss chinatown. I think it is cool to be able to walk across the stage in a cheongsam and have people clap and cheer for me and not to mention getting all dolled up for it too. I told my friends about it and my friends says that I am gay for saying that. I don't consider myself gay but sometimes I just wished that I was a girl so that I can enjoy things that girls can do. Is it really gay of me to say these things ?

I have been with my husband for almost 5 years now. overall I consider our relationship very special and we love and respect each other enormously. we never argue, always have fun and he is my best friend. about a year after I first met him he had this anger outburst over something so small but it upset and hurt me so much. he would just yell, swear and not let me have my say and he scared me. I forgave him and he said he would not do it again. A month later it happened. And then again a month after that and although he never hit me, his yelling really scared me. I left him then and told him to get help. he did do an 8 week anger management after that third time and he changed. all his family told me he had come leaps and bounds since meeting me and is a completely changed person. and after this course he changed again, things that bothered him before never did, he was a lot less angry and we have had a great relationship ever since. this was over 3 1/2 years ago now and it's been wonderful ever since. we got married in May this year and life has been really magic. however last month his anger boiled over the edge over something and it was in public and I was very humiliated by his behaviour as it was in front of friends and colleagues. he has started another anger management course... I just worry this might always happen from time to time ? can someone ever completely change and stop their anger outbursts ?

What is it?

My boyfriend, we have been going out for a about 2 weeks told me about a week into the relationship that he has a child. He didn't tell me originally when he first met me, just left out that he had a child. Then he tells me he was married to the mom after I ask. She cheated on him while he was deployed. He says he hates her but she sometimes comes up in our conversation. As an example I was telling him about my recent weight loss and he told me he lost 135 pounds when he got divorced, referring to his ex-wife. It made me feel insecure because about 155 pounds. It just rubbed me the wrong way, my whole night was ruined. They have shared custody of the child, the baby is 11 months old and he got divorced not even a year ago, I was able to piece together the timeline. Should I run for the hills and cut my losses now or see how this turns out? I kinda like him though, not sure if it's worth all the trouble the ex-wife could cause me.

Went on a charity run, wife knew about it, knew the cousins where going. Didn't know the 2nd cousin was going to be riding with him. Wife has never been on the bike, she has her own. 2nd cousins mom and dad where also there. Is this a problem sine they are family?

Crazy Baby Daddy Crap!

I have been married 4 years. I stay at home with baby, he works full time. He says he hates his job. He doesn't eat right, over eats, doesn't exercise and abuses nicotine gum. I happily do most of the housework, shopping & cooking. He constantly complains about everything. He is always demanding more, like doing more activities with baby, from scratch dinners every day, mad when I get behind on chores. I have a clean house, happy child and cannot stay on top of everything 24/7. He won't cook, clean, leaves things everywhere. Then complains he has to work and pay bills. Bill pay takes 20 minutes every two weeks. He hounds me to do all the little chores, file things, look things up for him so he can just sit on the computer and do whatever he wants. I am always exhausted and he's mad I don't want sex. I am at a loss here. I feel he is an overbearing, controlling lazy bully. Any advice? I feel like I tried everything. Doing more, less, just agreeing and doing whatever. But nothing I do or say is ever right. He asked me to look at jobs for him. I did and found some and now he even wants me to update his resume and apply! We just started marriage counseling which he hates. I told him it's that or I leave. He can be very mean and yell & I cannot tolerate this any longer. He recently saw a doctor and he has anxiety disorder which he won't do anything for. Won't exercise, binge eats, eats tons of nicotine gum (20 plus pieces a day). He also overspends and refused to budget until recently. As a result, we have debt and owe family money. I will return to work as soon as my daughter is in preschool. Please don't tell me to get a job. My husband makes good money, has a bachelors degree and even works in a bank. He just refuses to save and "live like a poor person." All we ever needed was a budget and for him to not buy himself gifts we can afford on a regular basis.

I'll admit money is a bit tight right now however it bothers me that he's getting a second job. He already works a different shift as me which makes it hard for us to spend time with each other but now he's getting another job during the day working 3-4 days a week working at a garage. With him working two jobs, its going to be hard for us to spend time together. I'm only off on weekends and before we both had weekends off but on his new job he has to work on weekends which means we have no time together especially not alone, since we do have children. I can't believe that I was the one being called selfish when I don't see what's so wrong with that Or am I the one being selfish here?

Im getting divorced and E-filling with no attorney. When I go to fill out a new form online it will let me fill it out but when I got to save it the file doesn't recognized i typed in the information and saves like a blank file. Microsoft word doesn't seem compatible to the PDF. Im filing in Iowa has anyone gone through this process?

He has always had a small crush on me. And he has kissed me before. I never expected things to ever go past that bc I m well aware that he is married and i completely respect his marriage. We got drunk together and sex happened. I just want to know how to be cool bc I ll be seeing him at some functions this fall and don t want things to be weird. Thanks! P.s. i just feel guilty. Don t want to feel awkward too

I am going to my sisters wedding on Halloween and I was talking to my bf about that and then he asked what my favorite season was and I said autumn and asked him why he wondered and he said " oh just wondering, usually people get married in the season they like". Was that suggestive of like...a proposal soon or marriage or not?

He seems to avoid that question. To me it seems its because he doesn't plan on bettering the way he treats me or the relationship, but maybe a man doesn't want to be asked that???

He seems to avoid that question. To me it seems its because he doesn't plan on bettering the way he treats me or the relationship, but maybe a man doesn't want to be asked that???

DH and I are expecting baby #3, who we have agreed is our final baby before he gets "fixed." Last Friday, we found out it's baby girl #3. I admit I too was hoping for a boy and we did try some natural timing things to sway the odds in favor of a boy, but at the end of the day I'm happy with what we are getting. My husband on the other hand has made no secret about his disappointment. He used to be excited about this baby, now he's just walking around all dispondant and saying how this "isn't how he pictured things" and "well there goes my last name..." and the zinger, "I wish we stopped at two..." I get being upset but come on! Is there anything I can say to him that will stop the wallowing and make him appreciate another healthy child when some couples out there can't get pregnant at all?

I've always wondered why that is. I'd like to think that such a particular day was also quite significant to a man too. They're both getting married. Is the marriage hers too? Just a question.

Guys, my wife caught me watching porn and says I betrayed her..that I cheated on her. It's been 2 days and she is still depressed and hurt...I have never physically cheated on her and would NEVER do that. I don't talk to other women, I don't have any female friends, I don't go out partying, I don't even drink. I'm with her every second I'm not at home. Her reaction is so serious like I actually cheated on her. I feel bad because I hurt her, but is her reaction really normal?? I didn't physcially cheat. I was raised better than that and I'm a stronger man than that. I just felt horny and my wife was out shopping and it has been so long since I've done that, it was done on a whim. She found out later that day when she went through my phone. (She periodically goes through my phone just to see what I've been up to, and no I don't have a problem with that since I have nothing to hide..or so I thought). Anyway, she put an internet restriction on my phone. Yes I let her do that. I love her so much I would do anything for her. She is still very hurt. She slapped me for the first time. This is actually the first time ever that porn has come up in our whole relationship. I don't know how to go about talking to her about it. I have an internet restriction so she knows I'm not going to be doing that again, yet she's still upset??

Please be as detailed as possible in the qualities necessary for marriage; and if they differ between man and woman please describe these differences. Out of all my 6 years of research on what went wrong and what is STILL wrong in my marriage, it appears "maturity" is where everything points to. But, what is maturity? Is it an emotional thing? Is it a logical thing? Is it a spiritual thing? Is it a social thing? What exactly is it, and why is it people don't naturally have it when they turn 18 like our U.S. government seems to think we do (hence making us legal adults)? My sense of humor and my source of entertainment, even if childish, should have no bearing on my ability to be responsible in my marriage or properly raise my children, right? Or am I wrong to believe that I can enjoy childish passtimes (like video games and anime) and still be considered a mature adult? And would this exclude me from being a good partner for my wife? And what about anxiety, stress, or anger management? If my wife constantly uses control and dominance as a means to cope with her anxiety, stress, and anger; does that make her a mature adult since she is exercising her rights as a fully grown adult to manage her emotions? Or does using control and dominance show signs of immaturity? If you think playing video games or control are both immature and bad for marriage, then what's the relationship between the two? Or are they different forms of immaturity? Which is worse?

I am going after full custody of my children as I believe my wife as of now is unfit to care for the kids... I have come home from work to find my wife sleeping while my kids are up and doing there own thing.. 1 is 7 the other is a 5 yr old autistic boy... While i was at work... My autistic son got out of the house..while my wife slept..(neighbors rescued him) brought him back to the house.. woke my wife to hand my son back... other times... he's gotten out... my other neighbors recues him.... I have statements from my neighbors... and statements for character for me.. from professionals... Do i stand a chance with custody of my boys?

If you've tried this, what was your experience? Totally honest and open about everything or don't ask, don't tell..?

My ex divorced me citing irreconcilable difference. She was fed up of my workaholism which is something I couldn't help. At the dime of divorce, she was pregnant with my baby boy. When he was still a child, she left to the US on a job. Since my baby was very young, I felt that it needs the mother more than anyone, They've gone for more than 5 years before I got to meet them again. Now that I am in the US, she wouldn't even let me see my son. She tells me that she has remarried and moved on with her life and that my son has another father who loves him. She has not even told him that I am his real father. What do I do now? My relation with my ex can be broken but not my relation with my son. I want my son back so bad. I have stayed alive all these years only to love him

How do you merge your funds? Do you keep separate accounts? Would the spouse that owes child support still pay half of the mortgage/rent or what not? How does it work for you

How do I stop being so angry after my husband had an affair? We are trying to work it out, but I can t let go of the anger and it seems to be pushing him away. I want to hurt him like he hurt me, but I don t want to lose him. I know he had feeling for this women. He refuses to admit to the affair. I am well aware of it and he does not deny it he just refuses to tell me. I have just entered a very negative state because of it. I cannot stop thinking about him and her together. I am constantly thinking about moments we share compared to the moments they shared(or so I picture them sharing). I have become disgusted with him. I think about them being intimate when we are being intimate. I finally broke down and told him I am struggling with it. He cried but had nothing to say. I am confused and need to know what to do now. I do not want to be stuck in such a negative place. Now he just tried of the DRAMA!?

When my husband is angry at me, or we are fighting, he plays dirty. He will argue with me for hours, or he'll ignore me for hours. When I decide to go to bed, he'll come soon after and snuggle up behind me and try to initiate sex. If I'm still upset at him, I will tell him I don't want to have sex. Then he gets angry all over again. Would it be better to have sex with him, even if I don't want to at that point in time? Am I wrong for this? S.D. - Why do you say that? If he cheated on me because of this, would that just make him a complete ***? I don't withold sex for punishment, I just have no interest in sex after he's upset me. Again, I don't withold sex as PUNISHMENT. I'm just not in the mood to have sex when I'm upset at him. Some of you need to learn to read.

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and have always had a great Sex Life up until his brother came to stay with us for a few months. I never expected his brother staying with us would severely damage our Sex life like it did. Walls are thin, so my husband thinks its normal to go from S &M sex to just no sex or quiet BJs and thats it. My husband actually wanted a BJ last night and I said, "Sex? gee I don t remember what that is."

People being able to choose who they want to marry is actually a novelty in our modern society. For time immemorial, the vast majority of marriages were arranged. They were arranged based on social class/status, religion, nationality, and politics. Nations would be joined together in harmony when a princess of one nation married a prince of another nation. This was during the ancient and medieval days of man. Arranged marriages still go on today, but it's very rare and depends what part of the world you live in. Though now, for the past 100 years or so, people now have the freedom to choose who they want to marry. Is this novelty a good thing? Or should man return to the ways of the past?

Is this happening to other mixed marriages ? I'm 26 ,caucasian and she is 33, from Nigeria. She wants to control everything all of a sudden,once we moved from Africa to Europe . We did date for about 1 year,and she was really different during that period. Now is like she is a totally different person.Very demanding,acting as she is the very BOSS of the household. She is trying to even limit the time I spend with my friends !! :(((

I want to make my husband a a package full of his favorites... Sort of like a care package. But I need a few more men s gift ideas. Even birthday ideas is helpful because his bday is dec. 17. I ve already thought of the typical things like clothing, food, etc.

What can I do while she is gone so I don't get blue balls? "self pleasure" sometimes just doesn't do it... I wish she would want to do phone sex or send me pics, but it isn't her thing. Is that asking too much? Advice? Sometimes I just need a release and it's difficult when she is gone...

A family friend introduced me to this guy. He is a son of an extremely rich lady in my community. I met his mother before in an event and apparently she likes me and asked her friend (who happens to be my mom's friend as well) to introduce his son to me. He did add my number but he never text me. My mom's friend told me that he was a shy guy because of his appearance (turn out he is very overweight) and asked me to text him first. I did but I felt like he was uninterested because all his answers were really short and he always expects me to text him first. His mom asked me to come to her brother's wedding anniversary next week so that I could meet his son in person. I was thinking of politely decline her invitation because I live like four hours driving from them and I have to book hotel and actually I thought his son could easily see me because he has a business and an apartment in my town. My mom was angry that I would lose the chance to become part of a very wealthy family like them and she told me that a guy like him used to have girls chase after him so I should be more active. In the other hand his mom keeps calling me asking me to come. She really wants his son to get married (he's like almost 40 actually and like 15 years my senior) and she said that she would like to arrange a marriage for him. I'm not sure of meeting this guy but I don't want to disappoint my mom, she didn't want to talk to me lately and she thinks I'm nut. What do you think guys? I put my question in marriage &divorce section because I assumed that I would get answers from people who had married so they could give a better insight.

My husband and I have been together for a total of ten years, married four. Four months ago, after many years of hurt, he decided that he wanted to seperate. He moved out and I decided to get help for my addiction. I'm going to therapy, groups, and making a genuine change in my life, but he doesn't see it that way. He assumes that I always have an angle, that I'm manipulating him, and that I'm lying. I can't be nice without being accused of ulterior motives. I explained to him that we were dealing with an addiction and that I would like to try and work it out, but he doesn't seem accepting of the fact that I have an addiction. Is there anything I can do at this point?

For as far back as I can remember I've been catering to my wife's fears. When we first met, my wife had a public embarrassment issue where I couldn't play games like "Marco Polo" in the grocery store (we were 19/20 years old), so I had to stop playing this game since she got embarrassed easily. And then over the span of 14 years, more and more special accommodations (entitlements) occurred; she can't go shopping because of social phobia, she can't call bill collectors because of fear of conflict, she can't drive because of fear of dying, she can't cut watermelon because her Dad stabbed himself with a turkey knife, she can't exercise because of the fear of stinking... She's Daria from MTV in the 90's!!! And I'm the idiot who gave her too much control over MY actions for far too long... But now, all of the authority over myself has been surrendered to her. She is so used to being accommodated that she expects it now. If I don't "do as I'm told" she plays the "bad husband" card and goes back to being a victim... To battle her constant mind games, I've started learning logic and studying normal people's lives (I assume you all are normal); but I don't know how to fix my life to regain authority over my self if she expects the whole family to cater to her and HER beliefs. Yesterday I said we have no beliefs, but I was wrong. *I* have no beliefs. She's domineering me to take on hers... I'm a weak man with a strong woman, and I have no idea how to fight back... When my wife is in "victim mode" she uses her beliefs as weapons against others. She will name call you things that you may have heard in your past as a "bad trait" like calling you: rude, insensitive, unloving, not compassionate, not caring, selfish, a "bad" husband, or some other way to shame me for my lack of conforming to her beliefs on what I should be doing with my time or my life... In other words, my wife carrots and sticks. She shames me when I'm acting "inappropriately"...

Before I got married to my husband, yea we were young so on our first year he cheated. I forgave him. I gave him a chance to make things right again. So we got married because I trusted him again and I felt like he deserved a chance. It s been 5 years now since we ve been married. As a wife to him, I ve been there for him, the cooking the cleaning the intimacy is great until I noticed his phone going off while we were sleeping. I wake up to see what it is, it s his emails. So I went through them and found that he put himself on Craigslist under "casual encounters"! He put a description of himself of what he has to offer. A picture of his penis too! People are telling me to give him another chance. I cannot do it anymore. It took a lot out of me to give him another chance the first time he cheated. My inlaws already hate me. I m running into girls at work that he has tried to message with and of course I find out about this. I m so depressed, I have no motivation for life anymore. He won t leave and give me space. Is it selfish of me to call it quits? If I leave to get some space to think, will he cheat on me?!

I work full time and I'm a student and the few hours i sleep a day, would be better undisturbed. My wife keeps waking me up in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's to kiss me or ask me if I'm cold, sometimes she'll turn the lights on to go do something, instead of using a flashlight like I do, other times it's to tell me something that can wait until the morning (like don't forget to take trash out before leaving (which is never an issue I've had)). I realise there are worse ways to wake up, but I've told her numerous times I don't like being bothered when I sleep. Yet she does it consistently at least once a week or whenever she can't sleep. And I even make extra effort to spend time with her, since I'm so busy, because I know she likes that kind of stuff, please help, I need sleep. I've told her numerous times to stop. Also my stats: I usually get about 4 hours of sleep, if I wake up, falling asleep will take 45 mins to an hour.

My husband loses everything all the time. I've made him a spot in our house to put all his things away after he gets home from work. He doesn't use that place and then loses all of his shxt. I wake up at three am to make him coffee and breakfast. So around 3:30 he was ready for work but couldn't find his keys. He flipped out on me. He started yelling and tore apart everything in our house at 3:30am. He took literally everything from the closets and drawers and threw it on the floor. I just went in our bathroom and cried. I waited until he left to come out. I thought he had found them but no...He ended up taking my car keys and leaving me with out a way to get to work. Leaving me with a huge mess to clean up. Honestly what should I do? :(

I've been married for 10 years, together with my husband for 11 going on 12. We grew up together, married young (19), blah blah blah. You get the drill. Once upon a time, I used to care about us. I used to care if he slept with other people or about our shared experiences. Today... not so much, but not in the way I'd expect. (Please bear with me, I've had two glasses of wine and I'm on a business trip trying to determine the meaning of life. Grammatical errors are to be expected.) I just don't care about anything. For years he wanted a threesome. After many times of him having emotional affairs with attempts to start physical affairs online, he finally stopped his negative behaviors. I in turn had a threesome with him, and I don't feel anything either way. Just. Nothing. Is that normal after so long being together? I guess I'm saying I see us as two different people as opposed to some intertwined soul mate bs like I used to. He wants to **** other women, I get bored with our sex life. This is a partial solution. I guess what I'm asking is, is this normal. Is this where everyone eventually ends up? (Plus or minus the threesome, as our individual morality will vary on that point.) We have two children, one of which has moderate/mild autism. I'd like this to work, but I wonder if there's something wrong with this picture. Any responses are welcome! I try to make time for us... It just feels like I'm going through the motions more often than not. He has a compulsive need for attention from the opposite sex. He's even admitted that to me. He used to have a problem with emotional affairs no matter what was going on our our marriage. (Once again, he said that, not me.) He fixed it, but I'm just... "meh." It's like sex has no meaning for me anymore. Threesome, sure! Whatever. I choose to not have sex with someone else because itwouldhurt him.

She calls me names says I'm worthless even though I do try an I tell her that I am trying to help as much as I can ( it's just a bad month for me but normally not an now that things are bad for me she's not being understanding) She calls me really bad names constantly that I wouldn't let anyone else say to me. Is this normal? I told her stop but she does it on purpose knowing it frustrates me but I just let it happen and she's loud so I get embarrassed in front of people sometimes.

my wife and i have been married for 16 years, we have 5 awesome children, its been difficult the last few years, lots of fights name calling, resentment, silence, frustration. 8 days ago i came home and she told me she wanted a divorce, i was shocked, so she left and told me i want you to have the kids house and everything. no matter what our marriage had turned into, i still loved my wife and wanted her back, i let her know this, but was rejected, during the last couple days, i found out she was having an affair, i called the man, and he told me he was going to back off and not pursue her any longer, he didnt know she was still married. i was mortified to find this out, so we decided to sign and file the divorce papers, its what she wanted, so i am going along. later in the day she was waiting at my house and she broke down saying she was sorry and we held each other, even thru all this, i told her i would take her back. so now, the whole divorce process is taking its course, but now she told me that she wants her space and time to figure out weather she wants me back. and my ego is telling me that she should be the one begging me back, since she had the affair. i still want her back. i dont know what to do, i see her all the time when she sees the kids and i work with her, how do i act around her, should i be silent?? should i compliment her? buy her flowers? just talk about somting unrelated? do i flirt with her? do i try to be romantic with her? im confused, please help.

My wife and I are newlyweds. And, she is not a neat freak/control freak. Sometimes her stuff is messy. But she only lets it get that way until a certain point. After we graduated college, we lived with another couple who we were friends with and it was fine.But since we're married, we wanted our own place. We want to focus on paying off our student loans and saving and we live in a city. So our apartment is very small, much smaller than the one we used to have. If she needs to get something, she has to pull a bunch of things out. And then if it gets too messy, she kind of freaks out. She'll sit there and go I don't know where to start. She'll raise her voice, get all anxious. But if she asks for my help, then she's fine. Then she can break it off into steps. I don't mind helping her, I like to. I just don't understand why she can't compartmentalize by herself. I also don't get why that's the only thing that makes her stressed out.

He is around 50 and I'm 25. He is related to a famous person (there are pictures on both of their pages verifying it). Well, he messaged me and we exchanged number and started texting a few days ago. Since then things have progressed very quickly. He has asked me to come live with him, asked for sex, asked to get me pregnant, asked me to marry him, and today asked my ring size. He constantly compliments me and makes me feel soooo GOOD. His explanation for all this, is that his intuition says good things about me. Basically, he's in love but we have never met. He calls me his wife and is pressuring me to come see him asap. Today he informed me he was going to propose to me when I got there but instead he let me know ahead of time and asked my ring size. He says he will spoil me and do all sorts of sexual things to me. I am really into him, but I feel weary. Part of me feels he may be legit, but I can already tell he has a temper. He had a kid with a woman 5 years ago and I don't know why they broke up. I assume he is rich because he is in the music industry and related to a celebrity (millionaire). I realize he wants a trophy wife, but I don't want to end up a single mom or worse. What do you guys think? To be honest I'm falling for him, but I'm still scared....

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/02/upshot/the-divorce-surge-is-over-but-the-myth-lives-on.html?_r=0 we don't have a comparison for longevity of defacto relationships - would be interesting to see those but it seems marriages are doing pretty well in general i just find it interesting that - there is not as much divorce as people say there is