So I started working at a new job a little while ago and I met this guy whom was working in the same area as me. He was always around didn't talk much but we spoke and from day one I had a huge crush on him. Months have gone by and he starts to show some interest in me but neither one of us pursued because I have children and at the time a fiance. My fiance, now husband, and I have been together for 6+ years and he is the only person I've been with. I've never had any prior experience in a relationship. I guess I've gotten curious and my emotions have gone haywire. (No I have never and will never cheat on my husband). Back to the guy. I have lost contact with him and just recently gotten in touch with him. he had been on my mind a couple of weeks ago and I had a dream about him a few days ago. talking to him made all those feeling come rushing back stronger and I don't know what to do. should I tell him? my husband? how do I get rid of these feelings without loosing a friend?

I'm 22 and I'm currently a truck driver, with no residence. Just traveling and saving a ton of money. I have been one to bounce around in the last few years, and now I'm entertaining the idea of movin to michigan when I'm done with this company. St Joseph mi is where I was born but my family moved away before I was one. Went back once or twice, but at 20 I moved to St louis mo. Then during the summer I decided to make a spur of the moment trip to check it out for the first time in 10 years. II love it there and I went again this summer. Seems like an ideal place for me. On lake michigan, beautiful summer weather, my hometown, good paying trucking jobs in the area with home time every week. But a few concerns. 1) Winter. I lived in St Louis last year. I can do winter right? What am I in for? Is the beautiful summer and greatspring and fall worth a potentially long snowy winter? How to make it through a long winter. 2) meeting people. Small town, about 8000 people, and seems like it's mostly families. How would a 22 yo guy fit in quickly? Might enroll in some college classes?

She started liking space after me,she started drawing, she cut her hair short after me , she tries liking fancy bow ties and suits like me even though I'm a girl... She's even going to dye her hair like space after. I SHOWED IT TO HER SAYING IM GETTING MY HAIR LIKE THAT. I'm so mad.. All I wanted was my own identity and I. Can't.even.have.that. I'm sick of it, she's taught copying everything is good too! She also is faking mental illness when I told her I had social anxiety, she didn't research it and thought group anxiety was a thing . I'm 13.. What do I do...?

Hello everyonr. My situation may not be all bad but it feels like that to me. I am 39 years if age with a business an masters degree. I teach part time. Not been able to find a full time positio. In loads of heavy student an credit debt. No savings. I live pay check to pay check. Barely make ends meat. Have a girlfriend who loves me but cannot go out much because of money. Live in tijuana but teach in san diego. Feel like a financial failure. Suggestions my friends?

I'm not very confident and I really want to be. Any advice?

Mi novio y yo llevamos dos años 10 meses, antes de febrero nos llevabamos excelente, nos dabamos amor y casi nunca peleabamos, hasta que un dia, el y yo discutimos muy fuerte y entonces cortamos nuestra relación por casi dos meses. En ese tiempo yo le conté a otro cahvo de mi salón y entonces me decia q yo le gustaba y que me queria, y yo también le dije :( se que no debi pero me sentia horrible. Mi novio se dio cuenta de lo que nos deciamos y se enojo mucho, despues seguiamos peleando, y el me rogaba muchisimo. En marzo hisimos el amor entonces nos reconciliamos y decidimos volver, pero despues de eso seguiamos pelenado mucho, ahora el chavo al que me decia todo eso, se metio a la misma universidad que nosotros, y por mala suerte en el mismo salon, y mi novio se la pasa peleandome que porque lo quedo viendo, a mi ni siquiera me importa lo que haga o deje de hacer, yo amo a mi novio y el solo se enfoca en que yo estoy traumada con el chavo ese, el ya tiene novia asi que me da mucho coraje y tristeza a la vez porq ellos son muy felices y nosotros nos la pasamos peleando y antes no era asi, nosotros no peleabamos mucho y ahora hasta s porta muy frio conmigo a pesar de que yo le he dado todo, el dice q no puede olvidar lo que paso en febrero y todo eso del chavo, pero esq yo lo amo mucho y ya no se que hacer porque quiero que seamos como antes que hago? ir con un psicologo o que hago? :(

Boyfriend and I have been dating 10 months. He wanted to take a break, so we did for about a month. Things have started to become normal again. I used to spend so much time with his parents but I haven't seen them in two months. Yesterday, I saw my boyfriend and he invited me to go for dinner with his parents tonight. I'm super excited. But I haven't talked to him today yet and I'm worried he will cancel or something. What should I text him? Should I ask if we're still doing dinner or just ask what time he is coming to get me??

We'd never talked to each other but I can tell she likes me because she is always looking at me and smiling etc etc, but I'm so insecure when I talk to people (specially girls), what should i do?? I like her but I just can't see myself with her.

http://thecampaignbook.com/projects/iamsorry/ < view it here, also Im not kidding.. I cant stop having dreams about it

Ok so I need to put someone else in a position in which I can help them out without talking to them. I need to be able to wordlessly help them out and without them asking me help them ( for example, if he couldn't find his pencil and he asked the class for one, I could lend him one or if he trips and spills his books, I can help him pick them up). Answers are very much appreciated!! It may not seem important but it contributes to a larger plan. 10 points to a great answer!

For those who don't what it is, Polyamory is when an individual or a couple decides to have multiple relationships with many people at the same time. Many polyamorous argue that they aren't swingers, because swingers are people who have sex with multiple people casually, and don't have dates. My problem isn't with polyamory, my problem is with the fact that people aren't being honest about how polyamory really is. Is you go to google and type is "Polyamory realtionships" the only thing you will find is articles and blogs in support of polyamory, claiming it is absolutely wonderful, they say its good for people, has no affect on peoples mental health, and is also good for society. The thing is, Im not someone that judges polyamory because its "different", Im someone that actually was polyamorous, I was polyamorous for 3 years. Im frustrated by the fact that there's not a single polyamorous article or blog out there that honestly talks about how the lifestyle actually is. One of the things polyamorous people say the most, is that the only difference between monogamous couples and polyamorous couples is that polyamorous people have several loving relationships instead of just one. But when you're polyamorous, you're treated like one of many toys in a giant toy box, and your lovers occasionally pick you up to play with you but they also play with many of the other toys too, its more like a game, its not at all a committed relationship sort of thing. Polyamorous people rotate people, there's several different boyfriends and girlfriends in rotation, none are treated as special and important. Polyamory is more like friends with benefits, you don't care who your other partners sleep around with because its more like you're just friends. Polyamory is very casual and isn't serious. So why does the poly community constantly lie and act like their relationships are like committed monogamous relationships when its clearly not. I DON'T KNOW WHY YAHOO POSTED THIS IN THE LGBT SECTION. I wrote my question and clicked submit, I just noticed it posted this in the LGBT section. Im sorry for that, I mean no offense, I don't know why my question was listed under the LGBT Section. Was able to place the question in the right category of relationships, hope that helps.

Hello all I am a 13 years old girl. What happened is my father, at night time came to visit me as usual (parents divorced when i was a toddler) so i opened the door to him and told him to take a seat as I was doing homework in my computer. He was sitting by the garden and I was indoors in the living room working in my computer. After few minutes i sat to my computer he came next to me, stood up right behind me while I was sitting , and started kissing my shoulders. It went on for about 20 minut s where he would kiss every inch of my shoulders from the left side to the right side kissing my neck in between and making his way back when he reached the end of the right shoulder. He didnt touch me while he was doing it all he did was kiss with his lips very slowly and even deep. I was so shocked and trying to figure out to myself what all that meant from him that i didnt even move. After some 20 minutes he left to the hallway apparently answered some phone call and told me he had to go. The he came back right behind me and kissed my ear and my neck. What the hell has happened here in your opinion from his side? Did he sexually abuse me should i report him? Am i safe around him? This has brought me to tears and a huge deal of anxiety since it happen d and i feel too embarrassed to tell anyone about it

My mom is 46 and has 5 kids. I saw her messages to him and he said different things but she was taking about his..penis...and using the word cock. And he said,"only good girls get their pussy rubbed" and i also saw one that said,"it least you're sturdy and can take a good pounding" and today she said around 2 or 3 she's going over to his house to watch the baseball game even though he's gonna be over here first and we have tv, and the game starts at 7:07. I think they're going to have sex and I'm really uncomfortable please help what do I do?

some siblings are close and some are not but what is the ugliest meanest thing you've done to one of them?

This guy (who I've known for years) asked me out and we're both virgins and he's never dated anyone before. I'm very shy but now we've been dating for a while and I think I'm ready to have sex. I think he wants to too. But I don't want to be the one to start it. How do I let him know I want to, subtly, without saying it and without him feeling like he has to?

When I first met my bf he told me he is not sure if he wants to have kids. I didn't comment on that than bc it was our 1st date and I dont even know why he was telling me that so soon, like that is kind of private info and I didnt tell him my opinion either. Lately he started refusing wearing a condom and said he wants to feel me and will pull out before he cums. We did it like that couple of times but the last time he didn't pull out at all. He was sort of trying to pull deeper instead, I guess. I told him he didn't pull out and cumed inside and he said "it's ok, don't worry". I asked him if I should take the pill after and he told me it was up to me. Like does he know what he's doing? We are in our late 20's so having a baby wouldn't be that weird but still. We didn't really talk about it, he never asked my opinion on having kids, does he think that all women want to have kids automatically? *He was trying to thrust deeper, sorry, pulling deeper wouldn't make sense, would it? We are together for 9 months now and we live together bc it was convenient for us. He is 2,5 years younger then me but looks older, idk if that is important. And I never talked about kids bc I don't really know, like I dont have an opinion right now, if I want to have them or not. So I was sort of ok when he said he is not sure bc Im not sure either. And we do bj when Im on my period bc I dont want to do that, like he doesnt have a problem with it but I do, so I give him a bj. And I think he would be a good dad, like that is so strange for a guy to say they dont want to have kids bc they are not pregnant and dont have to go through anything so what is the problem? He is a smoker and he also said he would stop smoking if there was a kid in his home, like permanently. Like if he dated a woman with a kid, I guess is what he meant. Like he is confusing idk what to think.

He broke up with me two weeks ago and he told his friend he was upset about it and his friend told him to do what his heart tells him and that night he took me back. Its just that for the past two weeks he has been unloving and only loving sometimes. He is very mean to me when im upset (like tells me to shut up). But if he didnt love me he wouldnt have gotten back with me right? We have been dating for 7 months. I told him i miss when he would be loving and he would just get mad at me for mentioning it.

So by defienition of the law and/or society, have you ever been sexually molested/abused/raped as a child BUT do NOT consider yourself to have been that? So could have still gone trough with a trial or someting like that, but you feel completely uneffected or indifferent to it. Maybe you feel even happy for it? So you could say i was molested by a woman when i was a preteen. She "massaged" my nether regions when she was taking care of me. Althoug i was nervous since i had a crush on her because she was pretty and afterwards i kind of hoped she would do more. I just want ot also point im am in no way liberal to child sex or rape. However im genuinly curious if anyone else feels the same way about their own childhood abuse. Like is this a common occurance that the "victims" don't feel like victims?

My wife has been in the hospital trying to find a way to manage her migraines that won't react badly with her other medications...a friend of my wife brought her home from the hospital tonight...shortly after my wife got home I had to take my son to the ER because he had a really bad cough and difficulty breathing (he is 2)...when I got home I found her like deep cleaning our house...she pulled all of our VHS tapes and DVDs out of the cabinet and had them all stacked on the floor, she did dishes, she was like organizing medications and doing laundry (that was already clean!!)...and what really just rubbed me the wrong way is that she had a six pack of Bud Light drinking it in my house...in the almost 6 years of marriage, we have never even had alcohol on our property, and I feel like this was really disrespectful because she knows we don't drink in our house...now I feel like if I do what I want to do (kick her out of my house and ask her not to come back until she has a little respect) my wife will be really angry, but it is freaking 2:30am right now and she is still here cleaning and I cannot go to bed knowing she is still down here messing with stuff...I don't know what to do either tonight or in the future...should I bring it up and tell her how much I disapprove or should I just let it go? I realize she was trying to do something nice, but it is really bothersome to have someone basically ransacking through your house while you are gone and your wife is asleep... I'm so emotionaly confused right now...part of me feels like if this girl (my wife's friend) really knew my wife, she wouldn't have done all this stuff because she would know how badly it would hurt my wife's feelings to know that someone did all this while she was sleeping...part of me is grateful for it...part of me is angry...part of me wants to tell her to eff off and leave us alone...by the way, after I got home she continued working until about 330am while I kept waiting for her to leave.. Would you be mad if someone did this? or would you just be thankful? I can't figure out how I should feel... I kind of feel like we have been violated in some way...

So I was dating someone for 6 months, and we just broke up.we where always fighting about stupid stuff and mutually decided to split. She says she needs time to get her stuff together and it is possible we could get back together in the future. She said she wants to stay in contact. Also says she still loves me and always will. I have noticed she deleted all of our Facebook photos :/ but didn't block me and also didn't change the relationship status. what do I do. We both just have a lot going on right now. She says she cares but why would she do that. What do I do ? Does she really want me back ?

My social skill is horrible, what should I do? I cannot connect with anyone or even a guy :(

Fiancé doesn t think he should have a need to compose himself, he should just immediately get over it

I am a high school student. A while ago, I talked to a guy who claimed to be a doctor on a forum and he talked about his experiences in Med school. He shared his spam email address at the end of the thread so that he can give me advice about Med school in the future. However, what he later told me did not match what others told me, be it people I know in real life or other people online. Should I trust him?

I Just don't understand why my ex wanted to text me out of the blue since i ignore her for 9 months and she finally got a reply back from me she was just asking personal question like how am i and how are my family and later on out of no wear after a few mins texting me she stops talking to me and never got a text back from her anymore it bin weeks she hasn't talked to me i just don't understand her why did she check up on me then stop talking to me. Why would she even text me in the first place if her her new rebound relationship she's is better and she's having amazing life? it kills me everyday knowing she is happy and i'm here living a crappy life i'm 19 and shes 18 me and her are long distances i really still love her and always still care for her no matter what i just don't understand how her life is so amazing like ares wasn't nothing at all... she broke up with me because she wasn't feeling the spark anymore and gets a boyfriend the next day.. i feel like the relationship was thrown in a pile of sh*t and step on.. i just miss her so much there isn't any female that catches my interest only my ex because she was actually my first girlfriend ever. and i feel like i'll just end up single for good long time i bin in a huge depression for 2 years everyday's a struggle for me it's hard for me to move on i just don't know what to do at all i'm like stuck in a forest don't know where to go everywhere i go to is like a dead end.. i need help thank you very much no BS please.

So I was dating someone for 6 months, and we just broke up.we where always fighting about stupid stuff and mutually decided to split,. She says she needs time to get her stuff together and it is possible we could get back together in the future. She said she wants to stay in contact. I have noticed she deleted all of our Facebook photos :/ what do I do. She says she cares but why would she do that. What do I do ? Does she really want me back ?

I recently got out of a year long abusive relationship. I am 17 and pregnant with his daughter and he is 18, but he lives in a toxic home with an alcoholic mother and a sister that neglects her kids emotionally and did physically when the kids were younger. He is a product of his own environment, unfortunately. Back in July (I was about 6-7 months pregnant) we got into a fight and I tried to leave his house, he ended up restraining me, pushing me up against his car and shoving me away from him after trying to restrain me. He hasn't restrained me since but he continues to emotionally and verbally abuse me. He blames me for things I don't do or that aren't my fault and I don't want him to do that to his daughter. He makes every situation about him. I try to be there for him when he feels down, I try to empathize with him and he turns it around to what I've done in my past (in which he wasn't involved in). He's been in therapy and says he's changing and going to change but I haven't seen much of a difference. I'm the only one with a job and going to school. He doesn't have either! All I want is for him to get his **** together so I broke up with him (for the second time). The baby is going to be here soon and I feel that he should at least know when I go into labor but I don't want him to try and come see me or the baby. I feel morally stuck and don't know what to do :/ I miss him very much though I know that I shouldn't. Why would you want to be with someone who hurts you?

So first I'm a shy, nervous guy and personally I feel that Ive never been much of a 'lady's man' so to speak. I've known a few girls but not one tat has actually wanted to date me. So for the past 2 months there's been this girl, who my friend claims stares/looks at me. We've made eye contact before and looked at each other before but not very long. She smiled at me today but I don't know if it meant anything. I plan to talk to her on Monday (we bot share the same lunch period) but I don't know what to say to her. M friend told to ask, "Why do you stare at me". But if I say tat, what if she says "I don't", what do I say then? I need some help. I like her so far, she seems quiet/shy just like me and I do find her attractive but what if she's just trying to manipulate me or what if she's apart of some elaborate prank, set up by her and her friends? She hangs out with this jerky guy who likes to mess wit people, so what if they're both messing with me? Personally I don't really care if I don't end up dating but I would like this solved because its been bugging me for awhile. Please, serious answers only. Also give your honest opinion, thanks to those who reply. Sorry for some of the spelling errors, my keyboard sucks.

Okay so I am turning 15 in 12 days and I am trying to decide what I want to do for my birthday. I have not had a birthday party in years and wanted to make freshman year something to remember. I was thinking do I want a good hype party or do I want to save that for next year for my sweet 16 and go with a small group of friends somewhere special? For either ideas can you give me some suggestions?

yes, its sad that people stay with their abusive partners and that they themselves are being abused, but I believe that the abused are kinda stupid to a degree. they know what their abusive boyfriends or girlfriends are capable of, so why cant they just leave the relationship? why cant they just stand up for themselves and, i dunno, report them to the police? or file a restraining order? or have him or her arrested? also, sometimes the abused even reason out like, "no I cant leave, I love him/her!" or like, "he/she loves me!" LOL, how is getting hurt "love"?

I'm a junior in high school and I have this "friend" who I see on the bus and in most of my classes. I use the term "friend" loosely because I was kind of forced into a friendship with her, due to the fact that she knew me before, and now she won't stop clinging onto me. She puts me down and she has ways of making me feel guilty about things I shouldn't have to be guilty about. She's so manipulative, yet I don't know how to stop being friends with her, without creating an incredibly awkward situation. I mean, I see her every single day. Today though, she was talking to me on the bus ride home, and she was talking trash about all of these people out of nowhere and some of them were on the bus with us. So now, she's created so much drama and problems for herself, but since she was talking about it to me, I feel like she sort of dragged me down with her. I feel so guilty for even talking to her in the first place, and I'm the kind of person who never trash talks other people. I don't know what I should do... Please help?

When I was 14 I was sexually assaulted by my uncle, I am now 17. He gets out soon and I am absolutely terrified..

I know this is a strange question. let me explain. I am a Male 29 years old. I have a problem with one of my testicles called a Varicocele. Had it since I was a teen. Basically you can think of it as verecose vanes inside the teste. It's caused by a blood flow issue. Basically Blood flows in just fine, But doesn't flow back out to easily. So the it hangs low from blood pooling, and it can get inflamed, get heavy from the fluid, and can just be very uncomfortable. Well. the #1 recommended way to get comfort without a very expensive surgery, is to ware tight fitting underwear or an athletic supporter. Ok fine. But athletic supports are expensive when compared to the alternative, and kind of uncomfortable. I am also a big guy so they cause me to chafe something fierce. And tighty whities just don't do the job. My wife suggested I try a pair of her panties, Beucase they would be tight in the front. I was very reluctant for obvious reasons. But she talked me into it. and you know what. Never felt better. Squeezes the testies in all the right places. and well. lets be honest. They don't make thin cotton or silk jock straps. ;) They are honestly super comfortable and they take all the pressure off of my swollen testis. It Feels great. But is this a good idea? I mean they feel great. But I just feel weird wearing these things. Is there a better solution? one that's equally as cheap and wont hurt my pride and masculinity? LOL!!

I have this college roommate (lets call him Jake) who has the queer attachment to his pillow pet. He doesn't take him anywhere but nonetheless it is discouraging the relationship he has with him. The pillow pets "name" is Al (pictured below) and he animates him and defends him when I try to take him away and hide him or beat him up. I do this so that hopefully Jake will feel less of a connection to Al and abandon Al as a security blanket. I have been hiding Al on him regularly and he went and tattled to the Resident Advisor who basically told him to grow a pair. In addition, Jake will cry in the room, in public, or on the bus, wherever he feels distressed, and this is quite embarrassing when done publicly. He has almost made a scene in public on 2 occasions because he was unhappy. Me and my other roommate were about to ditch him because some heads started turning in our direction. Furthermore, Jake refuses to take responsibility for his actions, He told his father that we (me and other roommate) were the sole reason that he was staying up late. He blames his bad grades on not going to bed early, which is his fault. He blames me for not telling him to study when he gets bad grades. He also cannot handle talking to anyone about anything serious---he had to have his dad yell at us b/c its "all our fault" that Jake is failing college. (We are all 18 and living in Honors Dorm) Honest answers appreciated, I'm at my wits end! we are all going to the same college as well. I have already talked to the Resident Advisor and he seems to think that Jake will shape up now. Answers still appreciated because college will be a living hell for me if he does not grow up Thx peace out ! :) Recently his dad posted an inflammatory comment on Facebook claiming that because Jake is struggling to stay in the honors college, that it MUST be our faults because we stay up late, and because Jake doesn't have the self responsibility to do things unless an authority figure tells him to. Also, Jake appears to be a pathological liar, I attempted to have a heart to heart with him about self-responsibility and telling the truth, however, as the Facebook post from his father demonstrates, he did not straighten things out with his father and is perpetuating the lies.

When I was 5/6, my father was killed by a drunk driver. He was the most amazing dad in my opinion, and I cried just about every day. My mom hooked up with this guy from Texas, when I was 6. He was nice at first, but he dressed like he was gangster, and acted like it. He sagged, and blasted dirty and disgusting rap music while me and my younger brothers were in the car. My youngest brother, now 5 or 6, has been hooked on video games since he was 2-3. He never wants to eat anything but junk food, and my mom and stepdad don't make him eat dinner because they don't care, he's isn't even potty trained and he just started school! He is very pale, and thin. He has pretty blue eyes but dark circles under them, and never talks about anything but games. My other brother eats junk food, and is skinny. He watches cartoons a lot and never wants to do anything instead of watching them. My mom used to be so nice, and not swear until she met my stepdad, and now she, and him, use the f bomb in every sentence and it is trashy. She used to smoke but I made her quit, and she texts and drives (she's texting my stepdouche of course) and when I try to take her phone she gets mad and says "I've done this for a long time I know what I'm doing."-continued Then, *time skip* last year, I was 13. I was almost asleep and I felt something moving towards, you know, there. I opened one eye, and my stepdad was over me, and I shifted myself. He yanked his hand away, and left my room. I realized what he was trying to do, and I cried until I fell asleep. For months I stayed up until 2 am, afraid of what would happen to me. During that time, he tried again 3 times, thinking I had no clue that he was trying to do it. I finally got the courage to tell my mom When I did, she believed me, and asked him right away, filled with anger and disgust. After he denied it, faking tears, she picked me up from school. She told me if I was being truthful, she'd take it to the police, but I'd have to describe everything to them. I did not want to speak of it, because I wouldn't be able to say one thing without crying. So I told her it was just a few scary realistic dreams. *By the way, they fought 24/7, making me and my brothers get into the car in the middle of- the night, and my stepdad wouldn't let us leave.* But anyway, a week later she picked me up from school telling me that she and him fought, and was divorcing him and that we had to move in with my grandmother. It was all good, I finally could sleep a full night. But I was still traumatized. My mom, one night, has my stepdad pick her up, and made me put her stuff in the trunk of the car. She said she was going back to him, and even after he hit her and she paid $500 for divorce papers. She left- me and my 9 year old brother here, saying she loved us. I don't believe her, she wouldn't have chose him if she loved us. My brother went back home, both of them living with her and my stepdad. I stayed living with my grandmother, and my mom always asked for me to visit but I was terrified of him, and she knew it. I never visit her. she always never came to events I had, and when she did, she left early or was late. Such as my Middle school graduation last year, she never came. I also disgust myself, I show no affection towards my brother but I love them so much, I am just afraid to be close to them in any way. My mom accused me of hating them. I wouldn't ever hate them. She showed up late to my Archery tournament last night, and didn't pay attention while I was there. My grandmother is flat broke, we literally had $9 in the bank a few weeks ago. My mom shames me for wanting to hsave my head for this little girl named Caroline at my local hospital, and doesn't let me- shave my head because I will apparently look like a boy, but I don't care, my hair is already short from donating. She always wanted me to look girly, and act like one but I am flat chested, dress in t-shirts and sweatpants/jeans and play games, read comics/books, and shoot a bow. I don't hate who I am, just my life. Why should I be selfish and not shave my head which could raise thousands for a girl who can't have expenses paid for her treatment? I try to help my brothers with that stuff, and he is getting better about eating and going outside, but I hate the fact he was like that, my grandmother says he most likely has autism, and we took him to the doctor and he wants to do a test on him. I hate the life they have, I hate that they have parents who don't care. It makes me sick.

They just enjoy the activity. There is nothing happening between them.

Ok so I need to put someone else in a position in which I can help them out without talking to them. I need to be able to wordlessly help them out and without them asking me help them ( for example, if he couldn't find his pencil and he asked the class for one, I could lend him one or if he trips and spills his books, I can help him pick them up). Answers are very much appreciated!! It may not seem important but it contributes to a larger plan. 10 points to a great answer!

On the way into work today, I finally articulated EXACTLY what I wanted to say for the last 6 years. "Ever since your ultimatum, you've done a pretty great job securing the power in the house; but what you're doing now is hurting me, and I feel like you need to give back some of the power you took so I can have authority over myself again." And just like that, my wife finally understood what she was doing... I explained to her that every time she nags me like her Mother nagged her Father she's actually trying to exert some level of power/control over me. And when her power isn't getting the results she wants, she ups the anti and she applies more force (normally yelling) to get what she wants, and if that doesn't work she ups the anti even more. And every time she ups the anti, she's taking away more and more power someone else has over themselves (or trying to anyways). I didn't say it was abusive, but I think she made the connection herself. Before the end of the ride, I asked her "Which do you want to do, keep a guard up but allow me to be guarded too to protect myself from your nagging/attacks? Or do you want to take your guard down, be vulnerable, and try this thing without "power struggles"?" - She said she wanted to take the guard down. But I don't know how we're going to ease into this; clearly we will need some trials and tribulations to prove to each other it is safe, but how? It's not easy letting go of resentment and hurt (we both have it). Being humble and "submitting" to a marriage counselor isn't on the agenda. My wife and I have too big egos to go be "taught" how to behave. We are going to do this our way, together, making vulnerable mistakes along the way, and not take some one else's ideology of how people should live as our foundation. Telling me to go to marriage counseling is a cop out of an answer - I asked for tips not for direction.