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Family
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Tuesday 16 October 2018

Family: Question: How can I convince my college son to come home?

Family: Question: How can I convince my college son to come home?


Question: How can I convince my college son to come home?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 02:37 PM PDT

My son is 19 and in his second year of university. He had been living at home, 20 miles from campus in order to save money and at our urging because we want him to focus on school and not worry about any bills. It was good for the first year, but since August, my younger son who is thirteen has been butting head with his older brother. My older son wants his own privacy and doesn't want his brother touching his things. Very understandable. At the beginning of September, my son wanted to put a lock on his bedroom door which his father said no. Fast forward two weeks later, after an argument with my older son and my younger son got into an argument, and while my son was visiting his girlfriend, my younger son went into his room and opened two action figures still in their packages, that he knew my son was keeping in mint condition, as they were from the early 90's. My son came home and found out. My husband took away my son's xbox for a week but the damage was already done. My son took money out of his savings and had now went and rented a room, and moved out at the beginning of the month. The rent in our city is expensive, and he'll have to work extra hours and use his savings in order to get by. I offered to pay the market value for his items. But he is refusing to come home and says he can't live with his brother. Any suggestions?

Question: I can't stand my "stepdad", UGH!!?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 02:19 PM PDT

I'm 16, not moved out of my family home, mum is lovely but her boyfriend is a lazy, messy slob. He has no job but rather says he is "self-employed" (absolute bs), lounges around all day "looking for handyman jobs" on FACEBOOK, when he's probably just on his laptop watching videos he shouldn't be. Leaves his dirty dishware out for me to clean up (I wouldn't mind so much if he asked me to do this if he was actually working during the day, it's just he's at home 6 hours by himself and does nada around the house). He interrupts me and patronises me all the time, bitches about his ex to my mum all the time which rly upsets her, and just generally has his head up his own a-r-s-e. Idk what to do, Bc obviously he's not gonna be going anywhere any time soon. I hate homelife bc of him. Ik people have it worse eg abusive family, which he isn't, but he's still awful...

Question: How can I tell my mum and stepdad that they need to clean the house? (And that I want to help them with it!!)?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 02:03 PM PDT

So I'm 16, in higher education, not yet moved out of my mum and stepfather's house (mid-terrace, 4 bedrooms, on the small side but not cramped), and I'll be honest, the state of it is disgusting. Mould or some sort of limescale growth underneath the shower screen, in the tiles grout in the loo, thick layers of dust in every corner. Wallpaper half hanging off (from the time mum decided she wanted to pull half of it off for no reason), missing tiles from the kitchen which show the repulsive powdery plaster underneath. The stove is gross, the toaster has NEVER been cleaned, and I won't begin to describe the state of the fridge. I desperately want to point out the gross-ness of it all, and I am HAPPY to help (on previous occasions I have offered to clean and scrub and hoover, but my offer is turned down.). However, I don't want to be rude to mum (who cares about the stepfather lol). I'm willing to spend days at a time cleaning the layers of filth in my house, but they just won't let me. What would you do?? (I have to resist the urge to bleach our entire bathroom every time I go for a pee. I can't eat the food from our fridge anymore. Help!!)

Question: ITS MY BDAY :(?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 01:36 PM PDT

so today is my bday im turning 14....and my parents r in nyc with my bby sis and me and my other sis are at our grandma. my last bday my mom got me a cake and we threw a party for me. so we went to get a cake and i found one i rlly liked that was $18 which i always get for my bday... and so y granma said no it has to much cream so i got another and she said no thats to big so the poiint todays my bday and we didnt get a cake and she said i kept on whining so what do i do my parents r coming back in a week. :(

Question: Boyfriends mum charging me too much board?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 12:14 PM PDT

I've lived with my boyfriend and his mum for a year now, at first I payed 200 pounds a month board, she decided to up it to 240. I feel like I'm being robbed as I use nothing in the house I hardly eat anything of her shopping I buy my own drinks all the time. Buy my own shower gel all I use is her switch for my phone over night and my hair straighteners for 5 minutes in the morning... am I being taken for a complete mug?

Question: Why did I change so much from 13 to 15?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 12:09 PM PDT

Question: I just lost my grandfather, I am 20 years old. I dont know how to feel. I am kind of angry and upset at the same time.?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 11:53 AM PDT

I am angry because he passed away 12 hours ago but my parents only informed me recently like an houe ago. I loved him so much. He was the nicest man and he took so much care of us. I regret not spending enough time as i was supposed to. i also live in a different continent from my family and grandfather.

Question: How do I handle family holidays? My SILs are trying to plan/run a holiday party at my house that they refuse to host?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 11:09 AM PDT

Mu husband's family holiday celebration is on Christmas Eve. It has always been from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. They celebrated at this time because it was best for his two younger sisters - they had significant others with Christmas Day family obligations and preferred a late Christmas Eve party. His parents accommodated them. We have four children - 9. 6, 3 and 1 - and we went with the not-ideal time since it allowed us to go to my Grandma's Christmas Eve party first. Four years ago, my husband's parents stopped hosting and it fell to us because we have a dining room. I'd set up for the party, go to my Grandma's, and then come home and play host. I even did this last year when I had a three-week-old baby. Since last Christmas, my husbands' sisters have each had their first child - we all had babies within months of each other. They said the celebration must be at 3 p.m. because of nap schedules. I can't do 3. I offered other days for the party; I was told no. I even offered for someone else to host and we'd join after. They said no bc one else's home is big. I finally found a Christmas Eve brunch time that will work. One sister made an off-hand comment that this will be easier to schedule once my Grandma (now 90) dies. This has left me hardened. I'll host this year, and then I will gracefully pass the torch. My husband said they were wrong, but said our home is really the only family gathering option. I really don't care. How would you handle this? Am I being selfish?

Question: Just got payed from my first job, mom says she will take $200 from my account every month. And I wrong for being bitter?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 10:55 AM PDT

I'm in my first job. Just got my second paychecks ever and my mom says she's will take $200 every month till I tell her to stop. And I'm frustrated and bitter. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Question: Why do people think it’s dumb to have a baby living off minimum wage?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 10:31 AM PDT

I just asked a question about wanting to get a female pregnant and I don't have a great job or a lot of money but does that really matter? how am I screwing up the child mufe and the baby mother life because if this. I mean I do have a family, I know they'll help and if not then who know maybe I'll land a better job in the future. I mean ppl live so change? Or maybe the bs y mother's family will help her take care of the baby or something. I just been having the urge to get a girl pregnant lately. Idk why I was never like this before, but I don't thjnk it's a horrible thing.

Question: What’s the best source of guidance we can turn to for family problems, personal weaknesses or any other anxieties we deal with?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 10:30 AM PDT

Question: My dad has an ex-wife that he has kept a secret from us.?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 10:22 AM PDT

Our aunt accidentally told our oldest sister a while ago and the story made it around to all 8 of us kids. Our parents don t know that we know this info. I want to confront them about it but I m scared of how they will react. I need some advice!

Question: How to reduce teenage chaos without holding teenagers back?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 09:46 AM PDT

My kids have several entertainment addictions. From role-playing to video games to movies to anime to drawing art to imagination stuff to chatting with friends to YouTube videos to anything that isn't responsibilities or work. But how do you reduce all that so the kids can create less chaos in the household? We've tried the screen time limitations and it still doesn't work. Early bedtimes don't help because my sixteen-year-old thinks that he's an adult and he stays up till midnight. And early wake-ups don't help because they just sleep no matter what you put them through. It doesn't help that both of them have been diagnosed with ADHD and my oldest has an anxiety disorder. So the chaos is just wow

Question: My dad has a brother. My mom has babies with my paternal uncle. What would be my relationship with their babies?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 09:46 AM PDT

Both of my parents are blood relatives (so is the uncle).

Question: My mother is an awful human being, when it’s time I want to make her suffer. Which care home is the worst in the world?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 09:30 AM PDT

By awful I mean she enjoys: animal abuse, child abuse, elderly abuse, robbing people when she can when they are not looking, drugging small children, neglecting children in her care, accusing others of rape to get some sort of compensation, etc. I want her to have the worst days of her stupid life, I want to send her to the worst care home in the world and manipulate her into trusting me to choose hee care home. I want pure agonising days for her. It's not about feeling like being the "better person" it's about the justice that our stupid justice system cannot deliver.

Question: I think my grandma might be a very bad alcoholic?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:45 AM PDT

Like just last night when she was over for dinner she drank an entire half bottle of wine. Right after that she drank two beers while we were watching Hotel Transylvania 3. How can somebody's stomach hold that much alcohol? Is it safe for somebody as old as her (she's 46) to be drinking that much? Should I talk to her about going into the AAA? Thanks. :)

Question: My Mom has a cousin who just died of a drug overdose at 51, he was an addict. Does this make him a bad person?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:37 AM PDT

My mother was cruel to my Dad for him being an alcoholic even though he has gotten a lot better since getting remarried. However, my Mom has sympathy on this cousin of hers and is sad for his death. I only met the man who just died once and don't know his kids so it is not a loss for me but my mother is calling in flowers for the funeral as it is 12 hours away so she can't go. Her aunt and uncle, his parents, have long passed away. This guy's wife gave an ultimatum and he picked the drugs over her. He had 3 kids who are currently teens, ones in college. So my question is does the addiction to drugs make this guy a bad man like if he was a pedophile or murderer? Or can one be an addict and still a good person? My Mom bans me from associating with my Dad or his family and insults them daily to me all because he is an alcoholic. Yet she is sad about this cousin guy named Stan. So I am wondering cause of my own situation as I have a longing to have a Dad and know his family again one day. I keep hoping my Mom will get cancer or something as her sister who would take over as parent if my Mom died would likely let me know my Dad's family.

Question: My Dad is an ignorant man who was abusive to his elders. How do I get justice for the emotional hurt he has caused me?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:28 AM PDT

He is a bad human being.

Question: Why did my sister marry a white man?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:22 AM PDT

I'm so angry at her. In our community, we don't date outside our race. My parents worked so hard to send her to America for an education. Then she ran off with a white man and got married. We are Indian and it's against our culture. They're completely different to us.

Question: Who's the black sheep in your family, and what earns them that designation?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:09 AM PDT

Question: My Mom's brother is seeing another woman. Will his kids blame my family because it is my mother's friend from work he is seeing?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:09 AM PDT

He is still married but separated. He has 3 children. He and his wife may be leaning towards divorce but they separated once before and then got back together and had a kid. I assume it is still an affair since they are still married though separated (correct me if I am wrong). So I am worried his kids will blame my family for the affair since it is my mother's friend from work he is screwing. By my family I mean my Mom, Dad, my siblings, and myself. Their mother likes to hold grudges so I am sure she is looking for something with this divorce and all to use as a grudge.

Question: Dad asking me to move back in with him and help pay for rent?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 08:08 AM PDT

I finished college then I moved out on my own. My mom got sick last year so I moved back in; last year she passed away so I moved out again. There was a time my dad had kicked me out before. I'm 27 year old only child. I feel bad for leaving my dad he's like 52 year old and my grandma moms mom just retired but she lives in NY not sure what she's going to do. I'm obligated to take care of them? Can I just get my own place and start living my own life? I kind of don't want to live with my parents...I come from strict Muslim family but I'm not religious but my family is and they want me to spend my money and live a certain type of life style which I won't; example is they want me to spend $10K to go for pilgrimage but I don't want to and probably never go there

Question: My sister assaulted my Dad. She has turned out family into a dysfunctional one. She is bad. How can I get my parents to see they enable?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 07:58 AM PDT

No punishments, bail when she gets violent, scolding with no consequences. My sister is like the devil himself.

Question: What's my problem?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 07:52 AM PDT

Aside from spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on items and things I hardly ever use, I constantly question my desire or passion for any of those subjects. I question my desire to learn another language (or anything else in general), my desire for animation, for careers I may simply THINK I want, and it may simply be that I don't really want much of ANYTHING out of life. I think all I want to do is go on vacations, international trips around the world without having to work or actually learn anything in my life.

Question: I have an uncle who is a raging monster. I am scared of him. Everyone is scared of him, even his wife. What do we do on occasions we see him?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 07:50 AM PDT

How do we stay out of this monster's way? I might have to see him next at Thanksgiving though hopefully he will go to his in-laws who also fear him. He is a monster and the devil. His two kids fear him as well. He is my Mom's half-brother. To me he is what Satan would be in human form.

Question: When my narcissistic aunt is in town how do my siblings and I stay safe?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 07:37 AM PDT

Question: My parents threw EVERYTHING out!?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 06:48 AM PDT

So some backstory is that my parents and I got in a huge fight. They re military so they have a strict household (no cursing, etc.) which isn t a huge deal. Last night they must ve had the breaking point when I admitted something I did 2 years ago(I m 15 btw). Yes I was a brat and told them to shut up when walking to the dinner table. I felt invaded though and I pursued an attitude. My rebellion got to me and I refused to do the dishes. This was the point where they talked to me about respecting adults. Again, I was so caught up in my anger that I just counteracted their arguement. They told me to give them my phone and I really didn t feel like there was a valid reason to. At that point they went to my room and threw away everything I had. I mean everything. I have 3 pairs of clothes, church dress, and a winter coat. They tore down all my paintings and curtains and replaced my rainbow bedsheet with a plain white one. They took the hinges off my door and now I have no door either. I had a lot of stuff and being in a room with no stuff is new to me. Should I continue to fight for my stuff back or were they right and should I face the consequences?

Question: How do i convince my to let me not got to school because of my inflammed arm?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 05:47 AM PDT

My arm has bursitis, and even though i use a pc, writing still kinda hurts. Today i wrote alot, had a lot of tests, so it hurts a bit more than usual and is tiring me. Im afraid this will go on until tomorrow as it always does, but i dont know how to convince my mom to let me not go. She wont understand.

Question: My brother scammed me!?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 05:43 AM PDT

I bought a gas mask from my brother for $20 because he said it was in WW2, and I later learned that it was not even worth $20! It broke later that day and stopped working. I told my parents and they got mad at me. What do I do to get my money back?

Question: GROUNDED FOR LIFE?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 04:41 AM PDT

So I stole money from my parents and now I'm grounded for six months!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Literally have no freaking idea how I'm going to survive because like technology and video games are my life. For those of you wondering how I'm asking this , I got on the phone at the store to post so yeah. I am occasionally allowed on the home computer for homework but nothing more, at night they take the keyboard. Along with no computer, my punishment includes the following : No iPhone No iPad No tv No xbox No bedroom door 9:00 bedtime No going out No halloween No trip to Disney That's pretty much it, but I also had to sell a bunch of my video games today to pay them back but I still owe like $100 I stole like 500$ dollars or so, and also lied to them a ton, which I honestly feel bad About but Ive already been grounded like three weeks already and I'm honestly so depressed I don't know what to do. because my life is literally wake up go to school get home and review my notes for hours all night I know what I did was wrong and I've apologized a lot but it's just hard going to school and stuff FYI: My phone and stuff is kept in a locked safe in my parents closet and there's no way I'm gonna try to get into it they also bolted my window shut too. Is this at all extreme punishment? Like I think it is a little bit extreme. HELP! Please don't be a dick or a troll in the comments, just genuine advice please

Question: I’m 15 and live with mum (55) brother (27) and sister (21), I work at maccas on $8.50 and since 14 have to pay $100 a week, is this fare?

Posted: 16 Oct 2018 12:06 AM PDT

Hey, I'm 15 and I don't really get along too well with my family, I live with my mum (55), sister (21), brother, (27) and he's little daughter (6). I wasn't allowed to participate in sport and wasn't feeling welcome to any thing related to family, I was very alone so I had asked my mum if I could get a job at maccas and start saving up for a car just so that I could do something. She told me no because she gets paid off Centrelink for me and when I get a job or something she doesn't get as much. Mum quit her job and as far as I know she lives off that money, she ended up letting me get a job when I was 14 and I have to pay 100 dollars a week to my family but I DO NOT get driven anywhere! I have to pay for taxis everywhere I go, pretty much just to and from work which ends up being like another 100-150 dollars a week and I'm literally on $8.50 an hour. If I bring it up I just get yelled at and abused, they won't help me in anyway pay for a car for when I'm 16 and I just don't agree with any of it and I don't really know what to do:(

Question: How do I move on and avoid family bullying?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 10:49 PM PDT

When I was living with my dad, he let his nieces stay there and they bullied me a lot and he didn't do anything. If I were to see them today, they'll just stare at me especially since my dad throws a lot of parties and they're there. I want to look for another father figure bc he would humiliate me in front of them and leave whenever I'd complain.

Question: Do you gambling everyday for hours is a problem? Do these type of people have feelings for their spouse or kids?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 10:37 PM PDT

Question: How to love someone?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 08:35 PM PDT

i'm described by most as cold and callous and i came to thinking about it and i truly don't believe i love anyone. i'm only 18 and i never really had a close connection with any of my family members. I never had a connection with my cousins and didn't grow up with my grandparents so it's just me and my siblings. my dad is really a person who doesn't show emotion and i've never heard him say i love you to neither me nor my mom. My mom and i sometimes get into heated arguments and she says things that make me distant from her. So in all honesty, i can say i don't love anyone and i don't mean that in a disrespectful manner, i honestly mean that like i guess it's hard for me to show love but idk why. like don't get me wrong, if she died tomorrow ofc i'd be sad and cry but i honestly see things realistically in the sense that i know i'll still be living if she does... it's hard to explain but does anyone else feel like this? also i have friends whom i love talking to, and their company but idk. it's hard to explain...

Question: My mom yelled at me for bad grades. I am sick of being screamed at so called CPS. My friend says this was wrong. Is it?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 07:14 PM PDT

Here's the deal. My mom yells at me all the time. Yelling and screaming. I hate it. I got C's and she screamed that she slaves away at work so I can get a good education and that I don't even try and she sent me to my room with no dinner. that was the straw that broker the camels back and really upset me. i cried. the next day i told the school counsellor that my mom starves me at abuses me. its a stretch of the truth because its not physical abuse (but i didn't say it was) and she does send me to my room with no dinner (which is a kind of starving). anyway i am sure it will be fine. they are interviewing her at the moment but all i want is for someone to tell her that screaming at me and not giving me dinner is not the way she should raise her children. my friend says i should have only reported physical abuse by i think mental is just as bad

Question: A= {yIy >1} B= {yly <7}?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 06:18 PM PDT

Question: Need consoling.?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 05:57 PM PDT

My mother makes me feel like **** and as if I am burning a hole in her pocket or an inconvenience to her life. I do not live with her and instead live with my grandmother. I have no health insurance. No ID. My SSC doesn t match my birth certificate. And I lack a job or am not in education right now. I ask my mother for nothing except to help me when I need to wash my clothes (my washer and dryer are broken) and when we can fix my identity situation. I see her maybe 2-3 times a month. I rely more on my grandmother more than her and have for the past 20+ years. However, my mother always finds a way to make me feel like I was a mistake of a child and as if I drag her down financially whenever I ask for the bare minimum. It depresses me and I don t know what to do.

Question: What are some good journal starters?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 05:56 PM PDT

like what kind of stuff at the top besides the date. dear diary dear journal also what to end with love (me name) - (my name) im a 7th grader btw :)

Question: How do I find my family? I have not seen them since June 22, 2007?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 04:57 PM PDT

My Mom and sibs left to go to Ohio and never came back. Dad and I stayed home for a party and Dad is still here but Mom and my 3 siblings left. She is not dead or in danger as she left a note, but she vanished. She didn't want me because she was convinced my anxiety disorder would be worse and she is right. My Dad on the other hand is very sympathetic and caring towards me so I like him. I am curious though what my Mom and sibs are up to. It is older sibs from my Mom's 1st marriage so my Dad's only child is me. I am cool with him but just wonder what happened to the others. Mom's side of the family was all broken up after my grandmother died earlier that year so none of them would know and I've only seen them once since my Mom left.

Question: This aunt of mine who is a narcissist has come to town for a wedding in her husband's family. What do I do if she calls me?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 04:50 PM PDT

My parents have fled town to escape her. I can't flee due to school. A good aunt from the other side of the family is staying with me.

Question: Is it possible to appeal to a court for new parents or would Foster Care be worse?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 04:48 PM PDT

My father is ignorant and my mother bitter.

Question: I have a relative who has unfathomable rage. Many people, including strangers, come to me to complain about this dick. What do I say?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 04:38 PM PDT

This person is a really evil man however I am not in control of him, he is older then me.

Question: My brother is an estranged family member now. Could this be because he is not really my brother but a step-brother?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 04:25 PM PDT

Only our parents (Mom and step-father) speak to him as well as his mother.

Question: How do I get my dad to sign the papers?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 03:57 PM PDT

So my recruiter told me I could enlist into DEP my Senior year and I'll be 17 when it comes to that and after graduation I'll go to basic. One problem my dad hates the idea and won't sign the papers so I can do it I don't know what to do because I want to do this.

Question: GROUNDED FOR AGES PLEASE HELP?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 03:29 PM PDT

So I stole money from my parents and now I'm grounded for six months!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Literally have no freaking idea how I'm going to survive because like technology and video games are my life. For those of you wondering how I'm asking this , I got on the phone at the store to post so yeah. I am occasionally allowed on the home computer for homework but nothing more, at night they take the keyboard. Along with no computer, my punishment includes the following : No iPhone No iPad No tv No xbox No bedroom door 9:00 bedtime No going out No halloween That's pretty much it, but I also had to sell a bunch of my video games today to pay them back but I still owe like $100 I stole like 500$ dollars or so, and also lied to them a ton, which I honestly feel bad About but Ive already been grounded like three weeks already and I'm honestly so depressed I don't know what to do. because my life is literally wake up go to school get home and review my notes for hours all night I know what I did was wrong and I've apologized a lot but it's just hard going to school and stuff FYI: My phone and stuff is kept in a locked safe in my parents closet and there's no way I'm gonna try to get into it they also bolted my window shut too. still have an ancient kindle fire tablet that they don't know about but it barely works and I really can't get on it a ton but at least I have some connection to the outside. Is this at all extreme punishment? Like I think it is a little bit extreme. HELP!

Question: Boyfriend's mother invited me her birthday party: Do I bring a gift?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 03:04 PM PDT

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about a month now. A week ago, I met his mother. She invited me to her birthday party and its at the end of the month. I'm really excited and I really like his mother and I do want impress her as I really do like my boyfriend. Now, should I bring a gift? Should I ask my boyfriend? Should I ask my boyfriend if we can shop together for a gift? What should I do?

Question: What is the child's role in the family?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 02:51 PM PDT

I mean obviously, without the child, there is no family, but parents: what does your child do for the family? how do you appreciate them? kids under 18: what do you do for your parents?

Question: How would you feel if your dad still treats you like a little girl even in your middle 20's?

Posted: 15 Oct 2018 02:49 PM PDT

I love my dad but I hate it that he treats me like a child. I'm 24 and I am his only daughter (which is understandable). I still live with him and my mom and he found out I had my first serious relationship with a man when I was 20. My mom told him everything and said he needs to stop treating me like a child. I think he gets that "baby-ing" trait from my grandmother. I hate sneaking around and lying about where I'm going whenever I hang out with a new guy I'm tryna get serious with so I won't get caught and say something that I will probably regret.

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