So I'm 22 years old and still live with my parents. Yes, I know. I'm part of that whole "millennials living with their parents" statistic. And I am slightly ashamed about it, but it's not like I'm not trying to better myself. I haven't gotten a college degree because I decided that school wasn't for me. I wanted to become a linguist, but I hate how we have to take all these unnecessary classes like history and math. When would I ever need Western Civilization in my career as a linguist? Anyway, I have a small job working around the house. I'm good with my hands because my Dad taught me a lot about construction and what not. So my parents pay me an allowance for fixing things. My Dad works long shifts so he can't fix things anymore like he used to. However, my parents are tired of me "not having a real job." They gave me a choice: either get a real job in the next 5 months or you're outta here. Tough love? I don't think so. I can't stay with my friends because they too live with their parents or they live in a college dorm. And my best friend's parents know what my parents are doing and so they won't help me at all. Did I mention my parents support BERNIE SANDERS? So I get the feeling they're also disappointed that I'm a Trump supporter.

My husband is close with his family (sister, aunts, cousins) but I've never fit in with them and I feel anxious being around them. They have started having Sunday dinner . EVERY Sunday. I am expected to go.  I just do not want to be there but my husband guilts me into going. I end up sitting alone ,being ignored , watching the clock . Waiting to go home. It's funny that the husbands of the aunts and cousins don't attend, but I'm expected to.

I know they won't want me to go because my uncle's ex-wife will be the one hosting the reception. She is the enemy. One of many enemies my parents have. Their rule is that I am to hate her they hate at the same time I'm an adult now. This happens all the time and it hurts me when I'm used. All through my childhood I was barred from associating with half the family because they were enemies of my parents. My siblings cave into it but I'm trying to break free of this toxic chain. My mom's parents did the same thing to her growing up and many other people my mom hates are behalf on behalf of her parents. Ironically this uncles ex-wife is criticized for using her kids as pawns to get back at people she's mad ironically this uncle's ex-wife is criticized for using her kids as pawns to get back at people she's mad at. So what do I do come May and June when the situation arises? I'll only learned of the invitation through my parents even though I'm an adult living on my own. I don't want to reveal to my cousin that my parents play this game and hate her mother. Two of her siblings hate me because I'm my mother's offspring but this girl is more mature and does not hate me. I had to boycott making an appearance at her grandfather's wake recently which I wanted to do out of respect for her because I knew my folks would be mad that I was associating with the ex-wife of my uncles.

So yesterday after getting off the phone to my friend I walked downstairs to find that my mum wasn't there my sister said that mum had just walked out on us and hadn't told  us where she went she left her phone later on my mums friend told my sister that mum was at her house I felt really worried because the fact that my own mum just walked out do I have the right to feel worried?

It's always said in a relationship but not to whom. I told her it was insecure and she got upset saying I'm ashamed of her. I just dont like ppl judging, or knowing my business that much. I dont even post pics of my kids. I believe your enemies can curse your loved ones. Or put bad vibes on you. We got into a huge fight, I told her I was ok with the post and regret what I said. I even told her to put it back up. She stated saying i was never happy her. I called her insecure and causing drama. I dont like smothering each other. Its immature. I do love her, but dont felt the need to broadcast it and act like valetines every day. She talks dirty on my fb posts and I told her not to. I told her im.not a boy toy.

I live with my older brother who is in his 30s & younger sisters. We all live at my brothers house & he is their guardian cause theyre under 18. He says one of his rules is no swearing under his roof. My older brother came over to me & asked me if I did my homework yet. I said f*** the homework I have too much of it. He said watch it no swearing. When he started to walk away I started saying f*** f*** f*** under my breath, I was whispering & didnt think he could hear me but he did. He walked over to me & said what did we just talk about? I told him to shut up. Then I said I'm sorry. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to my room & told me to stay in there until I decided I dont want to swear anymore & to come join them again whenever I'm ready. So like 30 seconds after he walked away I walked out of my room & I said I'm not gonna swear anymore but I said it with an attitude I guess. He was like cut the attitude too. So I got frustrated and angry and screamed in f***ing hate you! He calmly walked in the kitchen so I thought he was leaving the room so I could cool off but instead he got hot sauce and told me to go to my room or I'm getting hot sauce in my mouth. My sister was in the room and started laughing so then I looked at her and said f*** you too. My brother then grabbed my arm again and dragged me into the kitchen and put hot sauce in my mouth but let me spit it out and sent me to my room. Looking back I was immature. Can he do that seeing I'm 21? Was he being extreme? 

She snaps at me, is nobody, or insecure about our relationship. She wants to be lovey dovey 24/7 and it's anoying. She does not want to go back to work, or clean her room. I no longer can stand being in her room or sharongvher bed because of the clutter piles from the floor up. So I sleep in the guest room. She keeps saying I dont love her, and questioning us. It's getting draining to the point I have to avoid her in the same house. She wont see a therapist, exercise, and she argues and raises her voice of Ibtry to suggest she clean up. Im.tired of hearing about her bad marriage in the past too. I want to better myself, but she causes me anxiety lately. Its concerning me, and the drama shes always complaining about her problems on facebook, and posting negativity in the world. We have happy times, but its random. I cant just pack and leave either. Because she wont work, I am low income. We have our ups and downs, but I cannot stand her attitude anymore and cussing she does. I get angry too. Im not a saint. I too can be messy, but I try very hard to clean. Its exausting. I almost regret moving here with her, but I love our pets. I mean the house! She wont even take out the trash!  She cooks and does dishes. That's it! I cook too. All the pets are mine technically. She can have the cats. We want to move away from here. No, she not all bad. Shes helped me out a lot. I mean a lot. Supported me, got me things I need, or wanted. I just wish she looked more hot and was tidy. Also less miserable 

Do you feel a difference in genuineness or closeness to your siblings depending on if you sibling is adopted, biological, or a step sibling? 

Their mother who is was an aunt in her marriage to my uncle also blocked me but she is divorced so I understand it might be awkward though she follows my sister. Only mistake I made was in 2008 I sent more then one friend request when Facebook was new so was maybe invasive. That was twelve years ago though. Also the ex-wife of my uncle dislikes my Mom over typical family spats. They have a brother and he follows me on Facebook and has no problem with me. He is the oldest. The two girls, now in their mid-twenties, block me though. I feel hurt and kind of angry. The former aunt I understand and she has been divorced for almost 10 years but I don't understand the two cousins. How do I get over this?

Or would that just be a slap in the face and should I not bother? I do still have that family member love for her even though I don't like her. As a result I don't want to seem like I don't care but also don't want to reach out if it just makes it worse for her and more uncomfortable.

My dad (62) has always been a nice gentleman until here recently... Like the beginning of the year... He has been a dick... He will make nasty comments, take tones when it is completely unnecessary... I'm trying to get him to go see a doctor thinking it may be medical related... However, he is the type of guy that he will not go see the doc, unless he is fully convinced he has something and or something is wrong... If anyone could give me some ideas on what I could look into myself, to try to match up and convince him to go get looked at, it would be very much appreciated! 

My phone broke in October of 2019, so I haven't had a phone since then; my mom keeps telling me she'll get me a new one, though it's difficult being that she's the only source of income in the household. However, I'm not able to wake up on time unless someone else wakes me up, and she refuses to do so, as well as my younger brother and my dad. I find this to be extremely hypocritical as none of them are able to wake up without their alarms, and even go as far as to sleep past it most of the time--except for my mom, because apparently she is able to wake up without it. That being said, I asked if I could plug her phone into my room to use as an alarm to wake me up, but she turned that down.It's not like I can go to bed super early (I usually go around 9/10 AM) due to homework and chores. How am I supposed to wake up on time for school?

My mother had a bad uncle who softened when he got to be an old man and wasn't as bad and even reconciled with his kids he abused. My Dad abuses us similar (emotional abuse in both cases and not physical) so I am wondering is it possible he could soften when he gets old or is my mother's uncle an extreme rarity? My Dad is not as angry as this uncle of my mother's but my Dad cannot be trusted and is arrogant. There is emotional abuse through the ignorance of my Dad. Same was true of this now deceased uncle of my mother's apparently. Mainly just know of the great-uncle through my Mom (only met him a few times). 

So I'm 22 years old and still live with my parents. Yes, I know. I'm part of that whole "millenials living with their parents" statistic. And I am slightly ashamed about it, but it's not like I'm not trying to better myself. I haven't gotten a college degree because I decided that school wasn't for me. I wanted to become a linguist, but I hate how we have to take all these unnecessary classes like history and math. When would I ever need Western Civilization in my career as a linguist? Anyway, I have a small job working around the house. I'm good with my hands because my Dad taught me a lot about construction and what not. So my parents pay me an allowance for fixing things. My Dad works long shifts so he can't fix things anymore like he used to. However, my parents are tired of me "not having a real job." They gave me a choice: either get a real job in the next 5 months or you're outta here. Tough love? I don't think so. I can't stay with my friends because they too live with their parents or they live in a college dorm. And my best friend's parents know what my parents are doing and so they won't help me at all. Did I mention my parents support TRUMP? So I get the feeling they're also disappointed that I'm a liberal.

I was around 6-7 years old I don't remember exactly, but he was 3 years older than me so either 9 or 10. We were in the pool on the steps and my grandpa was either away or distracted with my younger sisters. But I remember he asked if he could touch me down there and he said he wanted to know what it felt like and that I could touch him too.  Not knowing what were his actual intentions I agreed. I don't know if this is considered assault. I didn't know any better and just saw it as curiosity on both our parts, but now That I'm older and my sister came out and said that he had sexually assaulted her varies times and more vulgarly, I started to question whether that was genuine innocent curiosity or he knew exactly what he was doing and taking advantage of my ignorance.  I'm conflicted, I did agree yet I didn't know any better. I need to define this to get closure and put it past me before I break down. I told my little sister a while back but made it seem like he wasn't at fault by saying I let him. I didn't want to admit that I've been sexually assaulted without a clear answer. I did the same thing when the topic came right back around when my sister told her story this past year. I would never tell his family either way considering that he tragically passed away and I don't want to ruin the memory they had of their son. And I still love him but I'm conflicted on whether he did something wrong to me.

My SIL is throwing her own baby shower but not footing the bill.  My mom and her mother are.  My daughter is the only other grandchild on our side. And this will be her mother's 1st granddaughter.  She doesnt want kids at the baby shower but in our family this is a tradition and it is considered disrespectful to request this especially given there is only 1 other grandchild, cousin, etc.  I have an increasingly poor relationship with her due to lack of communication and consideration on her side for many things and her mistreatment of my brother and other family members. She has been going through the last 2 years burning bridges with all of our side of the family(ext. & immed.) while increasingly putting him at odds with us.  I don't want to cause more waves but, I cant bring myself to be more supportive of her.  Sometimes I pray that my brother comes to his senses and takes the baby and goes. The baby shower is in a month. And I dont want to go. I'm being pressured to bring my daughter and see if it causes a fight. I told my family I'm not bringing her but I also need to find a way to tell this woman that she is tearing the family apart.   I've tried talking to my brother but he has no more balls. She took them away years ago.  I am afraid that if I express even minutely how I or my family feels, she will cut us out and we will never see our niece.  I really just need some advice because I am about 50/50 with this and I cannot for the life of me decide what to do. 

I have 3 siblings- a brother, an older sister and a younger sister. I am the middle child because since my brother is the only boy my mother dotes over him. That leaves me and my older and younger sister. I attempt in every way to make my mother happy- cleaning the messy house every day, helping her out any way I can and respecting her wishes to never date even though I am 21 despite my siblings dating since 18.  I usually have a busy schedule- doing two jobs, an internship and law classes at night with 8 am school classes in the morning. Never has my mother ever texted me throughout the day to see if I've eaten or if I'm okay. I wake up at 6 and sleep at 1 am every day. My sister had late classes on Mondays making her come home at 10. My mom calls her nonstop and even gave her money to buy meals. My sister isn't allowed to wash the dishes or do chores because "she is younger (Shes 20)."  In high school, I was in 5 clubs. She texted me every day nonstop to see where I was but I was at school dedicating my time to the clubs. I would have to let my friends call her on the phone or send photographic proofs. My siblings are allowed to leave the house and spend time with friends but I'm not allowed to. She would think I was out with a boy and I have no friends in general. I want to be the perfect daughter for her. I just don't feel like she loves me. So my question is do mothers have favorites and purposely treat their kids like this?

My extended family is wonderful and makes the holiday years I can see them.    My immediate family however is where the abuse comes and the pain of the Christmas Season that lasts until the New Year and on (even now 2 months later). 

My younger sister has always been selfish, thinking about herself. She works for the fed government and as adjunct professor for 2 colleges, spend her money, lavishly, and ask her immediate family for money. She asked my mom for money and she paid minimum wages. She talks badly about people. Always call when she needs something.  Most recently she found out through a close friend that's in the same sorority chapter as me that there's a new sorority line. She's pushing my older sister to join, but directing her to lie about her address. I'm telling her that I don't want to be involve in this bc if she gets caught my older sister can get in trouble and I don't want to be involve. She accused me of being mean, unsisterly, and justified it by saying that I done bad things. My younger sister doesn't see anything wrong with it and says people lie all the time. Everything I told her about it being wrong she try to justify it. I'm to the point that she's emotionally draining, and wondering if y'all had a situation you had to cut a sibling off a sibling. How did y'all handle this matter?

I'm 15, and my brother who is 21, is my legal guardian. I've been really stressed out for a month or so now, so I decided to buy a vape off my friend, to help with the stress. My brother found out about it, and he said that he wouldn't be mad if I just gave it to him. Even though he didn't get mad, I still feel guilty. I don't feel like I deserved to be let off the hook. How do I ask him to ground me, or something? I'm sorry to bother anyone. I just reallt don't know what to do here

In the Vietnam war my grandfather was murdered by enemy forces. Gunshot to the head. My grandmother, his wife, had a nervous break down after he died and never recovered. She began drinking to cope with her pain and became an alcoholic. My mother was the only daughter and so she felt the responsibility to cover up for her mom. Her two brothers went off with their friends and did their own thing but my mother felt responsible to stay there and make sure she covered for her mom so her mom wouldn't get in trouble for drinking. Once she was old enough she even went to buy the alcohol for her mom. So then I was born and it was the same year my mom's mother died from cirrhosis. My mother always built up how her mom was amazing and perfect and people were jealous of her skills because she was so gifted. My mother did not speak to her brothers because they came down on their mom and did an intervention. Then as the years went on my mom started drinking. My dad left her and he took me as I was 12. He had to take me obviously to protect me. My mother killed herself. We don't know if it was binging or suicide or both. I never recovered. I felt soul responsibility for her suicide or avenging death because I had been complaining about how much she drank and how embarrassing it was. After her death I met my uncles, and their families. I learned the truth about how severe of an alcoholic her mom was. My dad had seen his mother-in-law drunk but was always told it was just an accident and kind of believed his wife out of love. Once my mother was dead the whole story came out.  So now I'm a 30 year old man. Well I know I was not the cause of my mom's death intellectually a voice in my head and my conscious keeps telling me it is my fault.  My two siblings never complained about her drinking but I did. And thus I am still carrying the scars that started in the Vietnam War.  How do I drop these scars and heal them so they never affect me again. Intellectually I know I didn't kill my mom but emotionally I believe I did cause her death. I was learning disabled growing up and so the most sensitive and the one who my father felt the need to protect the.  I was learning disabled growing up and so the most sensitive and the one who my father felt the need to protect the most.  Any ideas? I know therapy and I'm in that just looking for additional ideas I might not of thought of there. I do have mental illness myself (Anxiety, PTSD from this, and Bipolar II). 

I am having a hard time getting along with people because I think I know more than them and I have a hard time listening to their opinions. How do I change this?

Ya he leído varios artículos a referencia del tema pero quería confirmar si lo que me ha pasado se puede clasificar como Abuso Verbal. Mi situación es esta, vivo con 7 personas, ya se podrán imaginar el desastre, lo estúpidos y desordenados que son :-/. Debido a varias situaciones he tenido que intervenir porque no aguanto mi enojo, está mi tío, en las discusiones esté o no tomado a la hora de una discusión es compulsivo y cuando digo compulsivo me refiero a que me dice "Cabrona, hija de la gran puta (un refrán de puerto rico como insulto lo diga o no con su contexto) y un sin número de insultos más, se tiene que hacer lo que el diga simplemente por que lo dice y porque sencillamente cree que siempre tiene la razón. Grita,restralla o golpea cosas, me señala de tal forma que sus manos rosan con mi rostro y siempre es mi "culpa, que quiero pasar por encima de los demás o otras de sus -razones-" pone de excusa que paga la renta (mitad de la renta ya que la otra mitad la paga mi abuela que es la que me cuida) o porque según el soy una pile e' mierda (otro refrán a que sigo siendo pequeña) prácticamente sin voto cuando en realidad tengo 18 y hacen las cosas mal, no me importa la edad ya que estoy segurísima de que soy lo suficientemente madura. De hecho, todos los dias y si no es de milagro, llega con gritos y peleas por su enojo con alguna situación o persona lo cual ya me es lo suficientemente estresante además de los escándalos de sus hijos que no controla. Esperaré su respuest En sí lo mas que quiero saber es si es abuso verbal si usa ese vocabulario hacia mi persona solamente que estemos dentro de una discusión.

Stepmothers: Do you ever compared yourself to BM? I do sometimes and I know I shouldn't, but I feel as if I am not as good of a mother figure as she is. 

My 26 yo brother is getting married this year and I'm happy for him. He's the oldest and the first to ever get married in my family. I don't have much family to begin with.  His fiancée lived with us for a year while they were saving up (she's 25). At the time it was a huge change and we bumped heads a lot. She took over my brother, would be at the house with him all the time, she got close to my mom, which is the only other woman in the house, so I felt like she was taking them from me. I know she can't actually but the feeling was there. This created a sort of strong resentment I has towards her and there were a handful of times I would text her to stay in her lane. I just wanted her out of my life.  Since then my brother and I haven't been close or even talk.  This year my 2 brothers are grooms and me being his only sister I kind of assume I'm somewhat apart of the wedding? But then again I wasn't told anything. So I texted him about it and he didn't respond. He months later talked to our mom about it & she told me his fiancée feels "beyond disrespected and she's not comfortable having anyone at the alter she doesn't think supports their marriage." My brother is on her side and because of my relationship with her, him and my relationship is basically over? I feel bad because that's my big brother and he's been a father figure my whole life. What should I do to get him to talk to me?

For example they moved in next-door to her. They also bought her a beach house. My mother also drives her all around the New Jersey—New York area for appointments and shopping. my mother host the holidays. When I was a child Christmas morning was wrecked for my mom because she was in a nervous frenzy to clean her house so her mother would be pleased. Every Sunday we had to go to brunch at this restaurant and my parents would not say no because they feared my mom's mother. Anyone that runs my mom's mother becomes a sworn enemy of my mom's such as a brother of hers who is unfair to her. Christmas and Thanksgiving are devoted to cooking all day long for about 30 people when it's just about 12 people that come these days. They do it to please my mom's mother. Long story short it seems very dysfunctional to me and is it or is this just being loyal? My mom's mother is somewhat elderly but she's not severely ill. Note I love my grandmother and she's a wonderful person so by no means am I criticizing her. She's not angry and demanding or scary or any of that. She can be a little particular and roll her eyes but that's all. My parents fear her like she's some kind of Catholic school Nun from the 40s. So is this unhealthy and if so what kinds of things cause this? I do know my mom's dad was very strict and military like. So my theory is if my grandmother reported my mom was naughty her father would hit her with a belt and that she became scared to displays her mom. My grandfather died when I was a baby so I did not know him.  My apologies on any grammar errors as I'm talking into my phone dictating what I wrote above. 

I now have a good relationship with them except I am hypersensitive and terrified of losing them again. Aside from therapy what additional things including that can I do? i've typed before about how my mother kept me from her family because her father was an alcoholic and she cited me by saying she had to protect me, thus I feel responsible. Well a lot of it was my mom using me to get her father back I do think there were times that she probably did feel the need to protect me and thus I was a cause along with his drinking.

For example he and his wife will say things to the kids like " Greg what in the hell is wrong with you you idiot" or "Joni you're so stupid anybody knows how to do that". They have four kids. His wife grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional family but I don't know what my brothers excuse is. Her dad was more strict than I would be but he never called us names like this. I've never around them where their not screaming at their kids. So with CPS be able to intervene if I gave an anonymous tip or does the abuse have to be physical for that?

So my older brother who is in his 30's is the guardian to my little sisters who are in their younger teens. I was supposed to stay home with them and supervise while he went to the market. My sister who is 15 decided she wanted to go down the street to get Chinese food but before our brother left he told us not to leave the house. Anyways I told her no but she took her bike and left anyway. On my brothers way home from the market he saw my sister riding her bike a couple of streets over from his house. They both came back home together. My sister said he stopped when he saw her and started yelling and made her turn around and come back home. When they got home my brother asked my why I let her leave and I told him that I told her no but she went anyway. Then he started yelling at me saying I should've called him to let him know what was going on. Then he started lecturing my sister telling her how what she did was not safe. So now both of us are in trouble. He said he'll let us know what our punishment is after dinner but before dinner we can't leave the house. Do you think this is a cause for punishment? If so how extreme do you think the situation is. My sister and I both apologized to him but he keeps sticking to his word and says we're both in trouble and need to make smarter choices. Just waiting for him to say what the punishment is... 

I need a protective order against my mother,I live in Fort worth Texas, my quiestion is how will my mother be notified??  can anyone give me some tips about this? I'm 28 years old We have literarlly argued about everything for the last 10 years of my life!! Please help!!!!