So my love and I are fairly young, and she suffers from an auto-immune disease she inherited from her mother. This is basically forcing us to postpone marriage until her parents insurance runs out for her. We were wondering if there is any way for us to be married just by the church, just in the eyes of god without state recognition. (Note: We do intend to legally marry as soon as possible)

Not saying that cheating is right or that the one being cheated on deserved it, but does it mean that the person cheating isn t getting something they need in the relationship?

I'm 19, she's 18. We got pregnant when I was 18 and she was 17. Before I start off, I want to say that I know it's nobody else's decision but my own. But I'm looking for advice. I was wondering, how do you know when it's time for a divorce? We fight about the usual married people things like money, bills, etc. But we are emotionally, verbally abusive to each other. She's physically unattractive since she had our child, we're both emotionally distant, and I feel stuck. My parents divorced when I was a year old. Hers are still married, but her mom says she only stayed for their kids and she's miserable as well. I don't want to be stuck like that. I haven't felt anything for her in a long time, and I want something new. But I don't want to just up and leave and regret my decisions. Does anyone out there have a situation similar to mine or gone through it? If so, please give me some advice! Thanks!

Let me put the request in context. Some polls have shown that, at least in the U.S., 80-90% of men report repeated turn-downs for sex by their wives. Even though the wife knows that the husband is constantly thinking about sex, she will do nothing to provide any type of relief, hoping instead that he goes away. So what I am wondering is, what are analogous instances where a husband does some kind of behavior, fully knowing that it is hurtful/damaging to his wife, but simply doesn't care.

men are a bunch of cheaters.

My husband texted me "Hey I have a coworker party to go to this Saturday. " Not wanting to jump to conclusions and start an argument, but my mind keeps thinking this is a red flag. What kind of party outside work won't allow the spouse to attend? Am I reading into this??

Hello, I ve agreed to let a realative stay with me until he gets his car fixed and gains some financial stability. He has been staying in my house for over six months, during this time he has made contributions towards groceries and utilities (not the mortgage). Now his car is fixed and he is working but he refuses to leave. Also he has become verbally and physically abusive ( throwing objects during an argument ) and now I m scared of what he s going to do next. What are my options?

We are 17 years old so we can t technically get a state marriage license without his parents acceptance but I want our relationship or marriage (and what we do after marriage) to be halal. So if there s a way to get married that is good in Allah s eyes I would be so happy! Please let me know soon thank you!

I am 33, my girlfriend is 26. We have been dating for about a year now, and living with each other for 6 months now. Before this, I have only had sex with one other girl and that was back in highschool. I did have sex with my current girlfriend after 3 months, and up until about 4 months ago. I have always dated and had the thought process of waiting till I am married to have sex. Now it is burned into my head to wait and I feel bad having sex now and it caught up with me and why I stopped having sex 4 months ago. Now my girlfriend has been very quiet, and very anxious the last few months. She said she needs to take a week off and has moved in with family to think about things. I love her to death and I know she does for me too. I feel that she feels I am not attracted to her or something along that line. I get it we had sex and now stopped, but I feel I want to wait. I don't want to have sex to just have sex, I am just confused. Anyone have suggestions or been through this? Thanks I have told her why I want to wait also, so she knows why I suddenly stopped.

My girlfriend shares children with her ex husband. He was verbally abusive towards her and has managed to get out of paying the least amount of child support possible even though he has a great job. He also has legal issues so can't be alone with their kids. I don't like the guy to be honest but understand I have to be mature and deal with him since they have kids together. He also has at times texted her stuff bordering on flirtatious and mocked me as well thinking it was funny. He has to come over to her place a lot to see his kids and I don't like how he is always spending time over there and calling her instead of calling his parents to see the kids. How do I deal with this issue of jealousy and his lack of boundaries and her inability to set boundaires with him?

I m 17 years old and living in Ohio with my grandma. My fiancé and I have been together 5 years now and we want to get married now! My bio dad currently has custody of me but signed papers saying my grandma is my power of attorney. I was wondering if my grandma could sign for me to get married without my bio dad s consent? PLEASE HELP!

When i agreed with her moving in my husband & her said it would be for about 2 mons enough time for her to find a place. She is 54 windowed and healthy, her 18 year old son moved in also. Plus her other children come in and out of my house as if it were their house. They dont pick up their mess. The 19 yr old hangs out with my sister in laws husband in front of my house to smoke weed while my sister in law and her baby hang out at my house. Then the older brother in law that does not live here will occasionally spend the night here with his girlfriend . Basically i dont even like being home because of all of this i have 3 kids and dont like them to see all that goes on here. My husband is afraid to talk to his mom and this is causing problems between us.

I live in Maryland. I m just wondering how long it took for other people in the same situation. The process should be quicker since everything Has already reached an agreement by both parents.

examples: get married, never leave each other, etc.

It's harder than giving up booze.

I mean I love my wife with all my heart and she has really pretty feet but they smell so freaking bad I have to turn on the fan sometimes. They've been really bad for about a week now and she's been asking why I haven't been having sex with her. I don't want to say directly that her feet stink because she'll probably take it personally and start crying. (She's sensitive like that) How do I go about this?

Wife ALWAYS hugs a guy when she sees him and then before they say bye.

As protective of women as older brothers/male cousins are? Like, if you've abusive parents, an older brother or even older male cousin is more likely to protect you from them than even the most loving husband is/ Why the difference?

Said she would sign a prenup and doesnt want anything from me but to marry her.. We have a two year old we live together and I love her but i just dont want to get married....at all. She comes from a strong belief backround and now started going back to church last year and takes this jesus thing way to seriously... And we havnt had a perfect relationship... She has four other kids with a different man was in a pretty bad domestic violence situation years back.... She has too many kids it drives me nuts i havnt been the best partner either:( Says if i dont marry her shes walking away qith my daughter tells me if she walks away i can see the baby whenever i want.... I dont want to get married dont want to leave either! Help

I asked hubby to install an extra shelf in the laundry. I wanted it right above the dryer, but he didn't like it there. He moved the one we had up and installed the new one just underneath of it to where a cereal box won't fit upright. He asked what I thought. I don't like it...the dryer still with the kids coolers and the reusable shopping bags piled on top of the control panel. He said he doesn't care about, but will move the new shelf down a bit for more space between. Initially when I asked him to install the shelf, his response was, "Where do you want it?" Now he did it how HE wanted. It's taken 2 months to even get the necessary parts and a month of him getting around to it. Should I just compromise with him on it? It is just the laundry room, but we store my stock of disposable cookware there so I need easy access. The biggest problem I have with it is his insistance on use the top ledge of the dryer controls as storage space. To me, it looks like clutter.

was out of town for the weekend and found out my husband facebook messaged his elementary school crush asking if she remembers when they hid behind the school and ' French kissed ' 30 years ago. Then he sent her a gift of 2 people kissing. She lives in another state but said she's planning a visit back to where we live (she grew up here) to visit family, and he proposed they meet up just cuz they havnt seen each other in person in 30 years or so.

My husband and I are 26 years old, 3 years into our marriage and living in NYC. In general, we have a decent marriage; we are social, financially stable, and take care of each other/generally get along. His style lately, though, has been a topic of argument between us. When he was a teenager, he was a huge fan of Blink 182 and those types of California punk bands. He got a lip ring back then and lots of those printed t-shirts. When you're a teenager, it's normal to experiment with different styles. Now, much to my dismay, all these years later he was able to pop his lip ring back in and he's begun wearing this cap, skinny jeans, and punk T-shirts. Honestly, he looks like he is a 15 year old who just walked out of a 1997 blink 182 concert. He is reverting even though we are pushing 30. Sometimes I like to go to nice restaurants with our friends, visit my family upstate, etc. and I feel very self-conscious lately when he's been dressing not only casually in inappropriate situations but also punk-like. As adults, I do not feel that now is the time to be dressing this way but when I bring it up, we get into huge fights. I feel that we are an extension of one another as a married couple. If I presented myself in a way in front of his friends/family that made him very uncomfortable, I would absolutely oblige. I am so upset that he does not have the same consideration for me.

I know it's normal to be anxious about marriage, but I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is normal? If I think or talk about marriage too much a lot of things happen. I literally have crying panic-attacks that sometimes I can't shake myself out of. I feel totally out of control and I feel trapped, sometimes even hyperventilating because I feel like "tying the knot" is being tied around my throat. It doesn't get that extreme often, but it does happen. The funny thing is, the next moment I'm fine and desperately want to get married. I don't understand!? Why is this happening to me? I don't know what is causing it, I just know that I go from freaking out about marriage... to wanting to get married this very second. Is this normal? Or maybe I'm afraid of marriage? I've heard of it, but I didn't think it was a real thing. Now I'm experiencing some of the "side effects" and I'm starting to wonder if it's a legit phobia....?

My husband left his fb account open and I see when I was out of town last week he messaged his old elementary school 'girlfriend' and asked if she remembered when they French kissed at 10 years old ( she was his first French kiss) and asked if she remembered hiding in the closet playing Dr etc. Then he told her she was the greatest girlfriend besides me he ever had, and now even 30 years later she was the me who rocked his world and told her even though he's married now that she can always text him cuz he has a special place in his heart for her. Then she said he was so sweet and said ' I'd kiss you again right now and you'd still love it! ' and he agreed! Plus... She's single. BUT at least she lives in another state. Idk maybe he just pities her cuz she's about 300 pounds and had two kids by guys who left her etc.

I'm trying to decide if marriage is something I really want. Personal stories are appreciated. :) I am ready for marriage, and that's why I'm seriously looking into it. You are judgmental and ignorant.

It's about my parents. I want them either to divorce or dad to go to prison

My boyfriend was in a serious accident several years ago. He had a severe head injury and was in a coma/hospital for months. His recovery was slow but after a couple years he became normal again. He healed almost entirely. He said that before the accident he was wealthy, and owned 5 businesses. One large and some small. He said that when he was in the hospital for the year after the accident that his employees stole his business from him, took his clients and left his main business in serious debt. He said he was over a million dollars in debt. He blames his employees who handled his business badly while he wasn't there. He avoided bankruptcy and was able to pay off most of his debts by settling, borrowing money, etc. (this is what he's told me...) But he's still in debt to taxes in a major way. Hundreds of thousands? A million I have no idea how much. Since his accident his businesses closed down and he can't work like he used to work. His brain has healed but he isn't able to perform like he once did. (so he says). I don't know what to do. I love this man but I'm concerned seriously about my financial future. A part of me wants to not judge him, he was in a horrific accident. But I also wonder if it's more than the accident, if he was terrible with money beforehand. If the IRS is after him for years of taxes I don't understand what happened. Any advice? I love this man and the thought of walking away is painful. But I'm not wealthy. I don't have extra money to help. If it truly was just the accident that caused the financial mess, that is more understandable to me. But I have no idea if he was irresponsible, evaded his taxes and was terrible with money. I just don't know.

I read all this advice, men have to look this way, men have to say this and not that, men have to risk being called a pervert or stalker, men have to pay for everything, etc. There are many more requirements along these lines. If men only want women who are attractive they a pigs. So if I did all that stuff which I will not what do I get out of it? Its actually cheaper to hire an escort. The women don't really care about you look how many people file for divorce. So even if I went though all the BS its 50/50 I would lose a lot more than 250-300 dollars an hour?

Three times now my family has lost our home. I gave my husband the benefit of the doubt and gave him another chance. Now today coming up with my side of the rent he is short on his side of the rent. Rent is due today. I don't know what to do. I feel so numb and can't stop crying. I feel so stupid. I can't even look at him.

stay in such a relationship as if they are flatmates just for the sake of small kids?

I m 22 years old and I ve been with my husband for almost 5 years and married for 1 year. Lately I ve been dreaming about other men, not sexually more as dating, but I feel so happy I don t want to wake up. I have sometimes fantasied about just being deseired by someone else. Is this normal?

as if they are divorced.

than kids I will have. They will restrict my freedom and I will be kinds responsible for them forever.

I try to be supermasculine around my wife. I am 5'11" and she is 5'7". She has a younger sister who is tall, 5'9" and we went to a party yesterday she came to my house to get ready. All of a sudden I realized her sister was looking REALLY TALL, I looked down and saw she had put on these platform high heel type shoes. In front of my wife, she went up to me and said "I just grew like a foot" and stood tall so that I could see she was taller than me. It made me feel like a shrimp. I think those shoes must have had like 6 inch high heals. On the way out of the house, there was a mirror, I could see in the mirror that she looked a lot taller than me and it made me look short. My wife was giggling when she saw I noticed it. I just feel less masculine in my wife's eyes and feel embarassed that she saw her little sister being taller than me. I'm kind of annoyed that her sister made such a huge deal about it.

UV here. Lots of communication opening up this weekend with my wife now that I'm feeling a little less insecure (thanks Calypso and SunshineDaydream - no thanks to sheloves_dablues, swbarnes2, and Dave). And since communication is flowing, I learned a lot about my wife that I had just assumed leading up to now based on her actions and the advice that I was receiving on here. Lots and lots of things actually. The main thing I learned is that my wife is NOT a progressive person and she does NOT support "woman movements" other than ending the wage gap. I found that fascinating and educational. She even taught me a little of what it's like being an anti-woman and anti-feminist around pro-women and pro-feminists; basically she said that she feels like an outcast and like she has to be shy/isolated to be herself since many outspoken women would DEMAND that she stops what she believes in since it is "regressive" not "progressive"... Fascinating how that works - this must be that "catty behavior" I keep reading about. I guess it's no different than manly men shaming me for being sensitive and "not having any balls"... So my question to you is this - How can a couple, who have mutual beliefs that tradition needs to be maintained (REGARDLESS of progressive ideals surrounding us), keep their beliefs without feeling under attack by the outspoken, candor, bold, hateful progressives who don't share our ideals? If you find my question in Gender Studies or any other section, please move it back to Marriage & Divorce. The progressive minded Level 7's are trying to silence me and only allow their progressive ideals to be in the Marriage & Divorce section. While I understand their motive, they have to understand that not everyone is going to be happy in THEIR idea of marriage. That would be like taking a gay person and trying to "rehabilitate" them into being straight. Please, stop being a bigot, libtards! P.S. -- If this question gets stuck in Gender Studies and you Libtards want to pick a fight with me, I'm done playing your SJW, MRA, MGTOW, WGTOW, and feminist games. I've dealt with it for 6 years now, you can keep your "ideas" to yourself and live your OWN life that way. Stop jamming it down people's throats and calling it "truth". Your truth isn't truth for everyone, just you and maybe your social circle, but that's it.

When we were just dating I thought it was nice that he cared for his mother and that means that he has good family values. But now married I see that his mom is the priority and it hurts. I do all the housework and and cooking but he still complains to his mother that "he has no shirts" because the specific shirt he wanted was in the laundry (I do the laundry)... I ask him why he doesn't wear another shirt but he wanted that specific one. So he calls his mother and she tells him she has a bunch of clean shirts for him and that he should come get them. He goes. It bothers me that I'm the only one who does housework but he complains to her all the time about how our home is so messy. He speaks to her on the phone everyday and they text throughout the day. If he hasn't visited her in the past few days she'll send a text asking why he doesn't visit anymore. He will come that same day. A week has never gone by without him visiting. In addition often he'll tell his mother he's hungry while at work and she'll drive over with a freshly cooked meal for him. When he comes home he's no longer hungry for what I've prepared for him. How can I become number 1 to my husband and not second best? Do I need to make sure every article of clothing is clean at all times? Take a bus to his work everyday and give him a fresh meal (he has the car)? I feel like that's sort of being a slave to him but otherwise I'm just number 2. So what should I do?

I was a full time working woman before my marriage. Then I got married. I am my husband's third wife. His experience with his first and second ex-wife was not good. They were full time working. So he asked me to quit my job. I agreed. Now I take care of our home, our 4 kids, my hubby, his parents and his brother. And I do all household work myself, My husband is happy. Are there men who prefer to have full time housewife like me?

I live in a Muslim country where men have the right for their every action . 6 months ago I started chatting with a man and it turned to sex chat ! My husband found out 3 months ago ! First he bit me to death ! Then he started assault . He also told my kids ! My son 20 and my daughter 15 ! Then he made me rigistet my apartment under his name ! I had nothing , I had to give up the luxury life I had and live on my own ! I'm a manager at a big company with good salary but it would be a simple life if I wanted to live on my own ! Also I didn't want to leave my kids with the idea of their mother betrayed their father ! Then after 2 months he said he forgives me , let's continue our life ! He put me under great pressure for last 2 months , now that he is back , I feel too wounded ! Deep wounds ! I can't forgive him for what he did to me ! Should I appreciate that he comes back to me while taking everything from me ? My pride , my degnity I front of kids , the apartment !

We are both Muslims.