I had a real bad issue with steroids and alcohol & i was pretty mean to my wife. I called her all kinds of names, turned my family against her for really no reason. I denied my two kids with her, two yr old girl and another one due in about two months. I cheated on her and told her that i would not be continuing the marriage because i wanted the other lady. I had the relationship while she was pregnant and have not had sex with her since before this pregnancy. I did some really horrible things. I assaulted her numerous times for nothing and she begged me to stop. I even charged her rent for the room i forced her to sleep in. She never did nothing to nobody. I put her and the baby out in december in the middle of the night because i wad high and she made dinner for my bday.i told her i was going to my gf house for my bday and she cried and asked what did she do to be treated this way. I put her out pregnant and she took the baby and it was really cold and she only had a jacket. I've since sobered up and left my gf. My mother told me my wife is still working part time and finishing college to be a teacher but she's living in a shelter for women and kids. I told my family the truth and they are ticked at me. My wife never really ever did anything wrong, ever. I just want my family back and i feel bad for what i did to her and the baby. Do you think if i tell her I'm sober she's gonna come back?

This girl has been my friend for about 10 years she watched me get married, have my children and fight with my abusive husband she watched my heartbreak and still stay my friend for years. now it's come out that she was sleeping with my husband while we were married what should I do? My heart feels all broken again I can't believe these two slime balls. He let me stay friends with her and she let me stay married and cry on her shoulder when it was over...

To me it's very wrong and it's called cheating on the teacher side and coveting on my son's side.I mean they have no business talking to each other while they are still in school about non school stuff and it just becomes really inappropriate for this MARRIED female teacher to keep in touch with my son after graduation.I mean it's not right,it's not cool and it's not appropriate for my son to keep in touch with this lady after he graduates.She is a 25 year old woman and my son is a 18 year old boy.She even hi five my son sometimes times and she says peace out girl scout to my son.This teacher is MARRIED and he is the opposite gender of her.It's wrong and I sure her husband will be angry about this.Marriage is about commitment and being faithful and this MARRIED female teacher is doing neither.This teacher has no business talking to my son after he leaves High School because it's wrong.This MARRIED woman needs to realize that it's wrong for my son to keeping talking to her after graduation.How would her husband feel if she keep in in touch with my son?Unlike my son and this teacher,I take in consideration her husbands feelings.Should I talk to my Pastor about this?Will he agree with me?To me this is called emotional cheating.

My husband has been helping a co worker because she is going through a nasty divorce and custody battle, now she wants a relationship and he's confused about whether he has feelings, he wants a week to figure it before deciding. He says he never intended this but he cant ignore his feelings either. I feel this is just an infatuation and she's clinging to whatever she can find.I find out by reading his texts but when I confronted him he told most of the story. What do I do

My husband and the mother of his child do not get along at all. She's a schizophrenic bipolar and is very difficult to deal with. My MIL never got along with her or her family but they are from the same small town. My MIL added my ex's mom on fb and shares all of our info so now I'm constantly getting questioned about every detail she can see. With our new baby coming into the picture any day would it be wrong to ask my MIL not to share any info or pictures on her fb so my husband's ex can see everything? They aren't even friends, it's all fake politeness

I'm getting married may 30 2015, the closer I get the more afraid and nervous I get. my fiance and I've been together for ten yrs, we finally decided to get married after all this time. we wanted to make sure we both finished college and had good jobs and that are money was right. I admit things wasn't always good but it wasn't that bad either....I feel as though thus whole marriage thing is getting the best of my guy he's changed, he too controlling I can't have male friends I can't wear nothing nice without him assuming things. its almost as if he doesn't trust me I give him no reason not to. I'm open I go to work and back home. he can go through my phone and everything if he wants to. it seems like everything I saw or do pisses him off... so I ended up telling him if he's not ready than that's fine with me but when I do tell him he throws a fit and accuses me of not wanting to marry him. I even told him maybe we can push it back he didn't like that either. we are currently going to marriage counseling which is fine with me also with him he seems to enjoy it and agree with what we learned but once its over and we are on our on he's back at being mean ignoring me for hrs of the day for what no reason over petty stuff if I say we really need to talk about this whole marriage thing hes throws a fit. I don't know what else to do I hate being ignored only because he feels as though I hurt his feelings only because I asked does he think we are ready to get married every since then he's been mad at me I hate pretending

So me and my husband we both work same schedule but different jobs for 7 days a week. We equally pay all the bills half and half (i have no problem with that at all)....i question though is, when we get off work we are always tired pretty much the same. For my husband his work is to shower and sit down to watch the tv. While I'm running around to buy groceries, cook, clean, make the bed before it's too dark. Do you think it's fair? ...what would you do different? ...and no he is a horrible cook. Lol

My husband has been having an affair for the last 9 months. He has given me chlamidia(?). And has gotten her pregnant (abortion). I have tried to understand and tried to be there as a friend for him throughout everything. I have spoken to her and she is not...well smart. She is trying to escape her current sitch by latching on to him. She gave him her #, but if I had to guess, he pursued her. She had a fiancé and a child with this guy. But I think she saw my husband as a way out. Now she has gotten her claws into him and there is no turning back. A little info: We have four children We are in out early thirties One of our children passed away from SIDS I did fall into a deep depression, and may have pushed him away I am willing to forgive I have made RADICAL CHANGES in the past six months I finally feel great about myself I feel like I can move on, or can stay, but SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE He has shown no signs of changing or really working on anything His emotional affair has gotten out of control He doesn't think that his actions have any affect on our children He refuses to live up to any ultimatum He says that he will walk away from myself and her He says she is pressuring him to make a choice as well I think that I owe it to myself and my children to go all in. We have been married ten years I feel like I enable this behavior somewhat His lies are completely transparent and ridiculous We own a small business, and his girl is on the job.

and btw the married man has a picture of the woman on his cp

How is it possible for a man to cheat on his wife w his ex wife? Does it mean he could have feelings for both? And yes I know men like sex and I didn't cut him off! Any of you men or women been through this?

Has anyone stayed married out of guilt for your spouse ? Even with no kids involved?? Can the feelings go away?

Is it inappropriate for a young girl (13-14) to wear short shorts in her house or for her step father to gawk at her? I think the clothing shouldn't justify perverted stares right? Or is it the girls fault? Even if she's comfortable in her clothing... or is it wrong either way?

I hide nothing from my hubs, i want him to know that Bruce Jenner turns me on now. Should i tail him or not? Thank you and God bless us all.

My wife is too neurotic for me, my life with her feels like I am walking through a constant mine field. I hate that feeling. I cant even be in class with out her questioning my whereabouts. I know she has had a lot of men do her wrong , but should I be doing all I am doing. I.E. socializing with HER children by sacraficing what little time I have with 2 jobs and school to " hang " with kids instead of doing what I love to do. cleaning up after kids, instead of wasting a couple of hours trying to motivate them to do what their mother commands them to do . To give up on my body , but build up my mind and have more " substance" ? Would it be better to divorce her? Her kids like me , ( sometimes they say the love me , but I dont think they know what love is) and I know it would be tough for them to have me removed from their lives. I just need to be able to take care of myself. the law in the state of which I reside in ( hopefully for not much longer) states that I am not financially responsible for them . I realize that thaprobably tells you their is a lack of " fuzzy feelings " behind those words however that is the TRUTH . I even told the two oldest kids that if I am to clean up after them and do their chores that they can expect NOTHING from me and not to talk to me at all while I am there and not to ask for anything. To basically leave me alone , unless should the day arrive that things change then we can return to normal but that will require she and kids 2 change

so they won't be expected to put out as often? or at all?

I know there would be more money but would it make life harder if husband and wife both work? Will both have to do housework late into the night instead of one doing it by day? Does it make raising children near impossible?

I don't get it when people that have lost their wife/husband remarry. If that was "the love of your life" why would you get married again. IMO i feel that it's wrong but please don't get offended if you think otherwise it's just how I feel.

I used to see arguments as one of us being hostile and abusive but I don't believe that's true any more. I think arguing is one person's way of trying to get change from the other person because the status quo is no longer acceptable. If you don't argue with your spouse, then that means one of a few things: (1) you both are satisfied with the status quo, (2) you or they are in control and the person who is being controlled hasn't caught on yet, (3) someone is SURRENDERING control because they value peace and "happiness" more than self respect/dignity, or (4) you two are still in that honeymoon phase where REAL PROBLEMS haven't came up yet (like parenting or what bills get paid first). I am open to hearing other perspectives though. Please tell me what arguments mean to you and why you think that way. (P.S. -- Arguments are never abusive - physical, emotional, mental, or passive included) I find it fascinating that I have 5 answers at the moment and 4 of them are confirmed men (y - sorry, can't determine your gender).

I recently found several disturbing sites and images on my husbands phone. Some examples: Google searches for "nubile/teenie/young girl" porn, as well as some sites visited that include underage girls (10-16) and incest sites. I confronted him about it in a calm and collected manner. I told him what I saw. He claimed that yes he had searched for teenage girls, but that the other sites (younger) were just pop ups/links he had visited without knowing the content. He claims he is not interested in child porn. I feel lost and betrayed, my self confidence has gone from 10 to 0. He has been not interested in sex, for over a year now I have been initiating sex (or trying to) and I have a high sex drive, but he has claimed he just doesn't feel sexy or aroused. Well now I know why. He is getting off by himself and is addicted to porn, he shows all the signs of it. He is apologising and claiming he will change, but refuses to see a councillor or therapist. He and I are not religious, so Jesus and God cannot help us with this problem (a lot of advice seems to be targeted to religious folk online and is not relevant or helpful in this situation). Should I believe him? That he isn't interested in children? That he didn't look for these sites? We have been marries for 4 years and he has admitted to me he was sexually abused as a child by a male friend of the family. This may have something to do with the content he is looking at online/the porn addiction itself. Please help! I'm lost.

Do they know? Have they ever asked to see your page? Have they ever asked you not to divulge personal things about your marriage?

Today's a wonderful day. I've reached a point (mentally) where I'm done concerning myself with the rest of the world and I'm ready to do what's needed for my wife and my family. All I needed was talk therapy, and you all did that for me (yay!). Why Yahoo! Answers has been great is because it has shown me all of the attitudes/beliefs that I didn't understand growing up. Many of you are like the allies who protected me, but then there are many of you who are like the bullies who took away my self esteem. Your insights and your brutality has helped me gain the knowledge that I needed to "make sense of this chaotic world around me"; and now I honestly feel like I have everything I need to START my life now. With that said, here's my first question about my "married life" - My wife hasn't spoke to Google Sensei to figure out her life choices. Instead, my wife is a naive floater who chameleons her way in/out of groups in search of escapism. She turns 34 this year and she still hasn't found her passion/dream/goal/purpose. 1/3 of her life is gone and she doesn't appear to be trying (at all) to figure it out. So this leaves me (as a responsible husband) only one choice: Protect her and nurture her so she can find her own path like I have. But now here's where I need Yahoo! Answers help again: If I want to take on the responsibility of caring and nurturing for a woman who doesn't know how to care or nurture herself, what are good things to try until she understands what she's doing?

I didn't want to have sex with my wife for 3 weeks but no on purpose I was stressed because of my new job and other stuff. And I had stayed all night with a co worker bc I was drunk. Well she since has had sex with me but I dam near have to beg she doesn't want to. She says she's not in the mood. I think its do to her home girls in her ear and her little homeboy probably trying to squeeze in. She'll say stuff like "thats how I felt for 3 weeks". Idk but I'm mad as hell.

My husband and I have been married for the past two years. I love my husband and defend him to death. He is very humble and a loving person. However, like every human, he has his fall shorts. Lately, I want more from sex, he loves sex and does his best, and I love it, but I want more. He treats me nice and always ask if it's hurting, bitc# I want it to hurt, I want to be roughed up and fked like a bitc#... I just think that in order to fill that satisfaction, I may have to step outside of our marriage, yet my husband has made it clear if he found out i'm cheating it is over, no second chances. I really love my husband and yes i've talked to him numerous times about how I like it, he sometimes try to do it the 50 shades way, but not enough, he is a lover and that is where he is good. On days when I just feel to make some good oral love and steamy sex he is what I want, oral, i've had better... but overall, I want that ratted sex i've always dreamt about. Do you think i'm crazy? It's just my personality, i'm not wild, i'm a professional and I behave very quietly in the streets, at church, at work, I just got this side of me that has no satisfaction and I think I need to let go. What should I do Serious answers please NO JUDGEMENT PLEASE I BEG

So, I stopped at my home to drop off something at mid day, and my door was locked, which is unusual. My husband is on a night shift, and gets home like 3am. I knocked on the door, and there was no answer, but I can hear him behind the door, so i knocked some more, he asked who it was, and I indicated it was me. He ignores for a few more seconds then scrambles to open the door. There, i walked in and his ex (which is what I call her) since they were like best friends and had a sexual relationship, was on my couch with that fked up expression which resembled guilt. He paced up and down as I moved to the kitchen to rest the load down. I greated her as usual and I made a sign for him ...saying, I'm done. I was tearful but had to hold it back because the driver was outside waiting. I had to walk back out with a smile on my face. He texted me immediately, 'I know what it looks like and I can imagine what you're thinking, but it's nothing of that sort'. I had two words for him, I'm done. He swore on his mother's life she came over to fill out an online application for his workplace. I live in the Caribbean, and I live in a downstairs apartment which can sometimes appear dark, so I put the curtain up before I left, it was down. Before that, there were times I saw him text her to come home and chill with him if she's free from class, we live right next to the college. On another occasion, he tasked her to bring him lunch.

I can't help but think about sex and sex with different people than my wife. But I love her and don't want to hurt her? What are some practical steps I can take to stop these thoughts and desires.?

I am currently going through a divorce and I can tell you that I am truly scared. Never had a job, was a stay at home wife. Going back to my mother's place and I don't know where to start. I have no car, nothing. I feel lost.... and I don't know what I am going to do now.

Am working.Have a 2 yr old kid.But since these 5 years my husband is not at all interested in sex.He always has a reason of been tired . i have been always supportive towards him. Also discussed with him for visiting an expert for diagnosis if any health problems. But he never heeds. Asked to take care of his body by exercising.. he denies.I really get frustrated with this stubborn nature but he hardly cares. He prefers being silent and unresponsive. He likes cuddling... but never sex. Possibility of being gay.. he strictly denies n with a kid how can someone be gay.really confused.

While working in China for the past few years I have discovered a great niche market that will be very successful. I have done a lot of business analysis and have some very high powered people who support my idea. But my wife who has no idea, tells me to wake up to myself and stop being stupid. She won't even listen to my idea because she believe that I have no ability despite topping my university for 3 years in a row. I don't know what to do. I love my wife despite the fact her belief in me is zero. I need her support.

My husband and I have been married for a year but dated for a couple before getting married. I found out that he was texting another girl telling her she is a "down right beautiful woman". I don't know if I should really be upset or if I am over reacting.

me and my hubby have been together for a long time now. we have two children and we moved in together a year and half ago. we are very happy in other aspects. we will talk, watch films, hold hands kiss cuddle, talk about our problems. I cook for him and wash his clothes. we do nearly everything together. There is just one problem. we are very different sexually.. he is more of a kinky type and i'm more of a plain jane type. I love old fashioned romance ; flowers, cuddles, kisses, dinner dates etc. where as he likes the opposite. more dirtier and kinkier. I have a low libido and low interest in sex, i always have done. I didn't really tell him that though until a few years later. I didn't mean not to tell him the truth, but it was difficullt. I could've let him go but, i just loved him so deeply. I did have sex with him at least 2/3 times a week, just to make him happy i guess. And i did try some things (out of my comfort zone) that i did. (i sort of regret it. not with him, but the fact they were sex acts i wouldn't of thought i would do). But i did. He has a high sex drive, he was since he was 14. Where as i wasn't. I lost my virginity quite later than all my friends. I just never had a high sex drive and i don't want to. This is causing problems in our relationship now because I only want sex as little as possible. Where as my man will probably want to do it nearly all the time. I still have sex occassionally and i still give him oral sex and handjobs regularly. so he is not going without completely. I will not make him be in a sexless marriage. But i just want sex as little as possible. I do think i might be asexual. as i have sexual aversions and i never want sex. Just other romantic stuff. I do like giving him pleasure orally and manually. I love giving him massages and spending time with him. It's just sex. I could live without it and it's very difficult to make yourself want it. I only do it to make him happy. Will this work in the future? Sometimes i do wish he had a lower sex drive too. So it would be easier to deal with. It is not easy being the lower libido of the relationship. It's hard work. People don;t understand that everyone is different. Not everyone is perfect and no one is the same. Not everyone likes sex. I know some people who dont want sex. But it's very hard being around sexual people. especially your own partner. it does cause resentment. But it's silly. love shouldnt be about sex.. but other things

Hello, I have a question that's been haunting me for a few years now. I was married to a man through match making. We knew each other for a few month got engaged and married. But a few years before that he was engaged to a girl he knew online. He lived in europe and she was thousand of miles away in a different continent. He knew her for 18 months and during that time he saw her around 3 to 4 times where she lived with him. He loved her crazy from day one, and from what i heard from family and friend he was crazy in love and deeply attached to her. She was a very beautiful girl, more appealing than I am. He spent every single penny he had on her until he was broke. A week before their wedding she decided to leave him and until now I don't know why. When that happened he decided to leave europe and moved to a different city. He becomes very defensive and aggressive whenever I ask. Now killing me is that how could he fall so deeply and get that attached to someone he knew for a little period of time. what's killing me is that to date after 4 years i feel like i do not compare. whats killing me is why did he love her that much and not me. was he lonely at the time, was she better than I am, what was it that broke him and still is after almost 7 years. He's a good husband and a daddy, sweet, tender and generous. But still deeply hurt, still compares me indirectly, mysterious and will not visit any place he used to be with her.

I and my husband is married recently we are a long distance couple I'm from Philippines I'm just shocked we don't have launch just eat 2 times a day...is this natural in the US? COZ in Philippines we eat 3 times a day I'm new here still adjusting he is working for the 2 of us and he is so tight and when he buys something he wants me to feel guilt he just talked2x money that he is the only one making it..what will I do? We are now 1 week married couple but I think now he is getting worst. .

I came home from work and walked in on my wife and a buddy having sex

My parents in law are not Christian but they want to get together with my husband and me, and my brother in law with his wife and two child's for Easter. The only people who celebrates Easter is my husband and me. His brother and parents do not even attend church. Also, my parents in law are going on vacation but still want my husband and his brother with family to get together for Memorial Day. Isn't when you get married and have your own family life, its up to you if we get together.

If husband cheats on his wife does that mean he may not be happy in his marriage?

Why does my ex-husband (20yrs/17 married, 3 together) use the kids against me? He didn't want the kids, he told me many times throughout the years, he only had them because I wanted kids. So fast forward 17yrs I finally said I want a divorce. He is an abusive, controlling, manipulative jerk. He turned the kids against me, lied to the court saying I was a lazy mom and bad wife and said he took care of the kids. So now he appears to be the father of the year. I haven't seen my kids for 2yrs and I have no money for a decent attorney. I went to every school event, volunteered at the schools and contributed financially with part time work. What is his problem? He doesn't even pay me spousal support, I PAY that jerk child support. Every time I'm just nice & civil to him just to coparent, he thinks I want to get back together with him…..OH HECK NO!!! I never want to be a couple with him, just coparent for the sake of the kids. I kept quiet, I met him when I was 16yo. Got married at 19. I grew up in a hostile environment so I thought his anger wasn't as bad. I was put into submission because he hit me. I told no one because I thought I am to obey my husband as it says in the bible. He did not allow me to go to church, have friends or family. Not even his family. He hit our son from age 6mo-4yo & daughter one time at age 2. I told no one. I stopped him taking his stress & anger issues out on the kids & took the abuse. He even hit the dog.And believe me or not, the house was clean. I wouldn't risk his anger if it was dirty. I wasn't even allowed to open the windows. I am passive & shy. Yes, I still keep quiet, & go online to vent about injustice because I was quiet. Young & naive. I get stereotype & judged, so I continue to carry this burden of living in silence. Obviously there's more to this situation. And of course there's the ex side of the story. Bottom line. What kind of monster uses kids..Man or Woman And I'm not a sore loser. I chose to take the high road, not involve the kids and stay positive so the bitterness doesn't consume me. you are entitled to your opinoin. I don't judge.

I just got out the marines (military) for medical reasons and one of my problems is I fractured my back, so I don't walk properly, so my wife says she is ashamed of me as her husband. I worked 2 years on her visa to USA and spent all my savings over 10,000 dollars on the immigration. she just arrived and all she does is complain, mainly about that, what should I do? I am already wearing a back brace all day even though it is not comfortable. any advice?

I had three-way mmf intercourse in the food prep area of an olive garden restaurant after business hours.

I married my wife in 2014 last spring. She was living with her family friend and sister at the time, and I was living with my sisters. We didn't have the means to move in together so we decided, despite our wishes, to remain in our respective homes for the following lease terms. I had brought up moving into her home, but her roommates weren't ok with it. I had asked to visit her at home, but her mattress routinely have guests or family staying for periods of time and one of them lost their job. In the summer, I proposed that we make plans for moving in together, but she felt out was too soon to make such plans. I followed up twice more after that, in the fall and January this year, and she repeated her statement that it was too soon and that we aren't ready. We had, however decided we would move into her room. Unfortunately, the landlord has since begun renovating the apt. She stayed with her friend up to the current moment. Two weeks ago, she tells me her friend is pressuring her to sign a lease, and I peered to search out an apt. Four days later, she signs the lease, and told me she couldn't live out on the streets. Later I found a place and we filled the application. She refuses, though, to leave her current place on the move in date and instead wants to wait out the lease term. I don't know how to tell her that her son's and stance aren't going for me. She didn't want to ruin her friend the wrong way, which I understand, but I'm her husband. What do I say to her or do?

My wife and I are not really people person's. We can socialize with ease but we prefer to keep to ourselves. digimutt, that is why I ask, not for the obvious but for suggestions in a world of 7 billion humans. They are pretty impossible to avoid, so are there any methods to avoiding conversations without being rude. We also socialize for income, but it is not us who engages into a conversation, it is usually others who instead of doing business, just want to talk and talk and talk, such as a lot of people seem to do.

And if you are married , were you one of those people that said that they never would get married?

I'm sorry but I'm just very particular about no eating outside of the kitchen, especially in bed! But I keep waking to him eating in the wee hours of the night.