This leaves me a little weirded out! When I ask about it, he says it would be a great confidence boost and confirmation of his manly-hood if women offered themselves to him. He openly tells me that this is the main reason why he is working out. I do appreciate my husband in every way and I compliment him on his wit or looks every day. We also have a normal sex life etc. I'm not sure what to think about it?

Whenever we have a romantic/quiet weekend, when Sunday evening comes, my husband complains that he feels he lost his time AGAIN with me, which leaves me hurt as I am looking forward to spend some time with him after not seeing each other entire week. He only says that he feels he "lost his time" when we spend time together. When I do make plans for going out, partying, trips with him, he tells me it is too much stress for him and he can't handle it anymore? He says he wants his old friends back, that moved out of the country and he doesn't want to make any new ones. I don't follow?

Ex is a addict to pills and way older no cheating for sure 100% kids are old and married with kids Why deleting that's my question? Thx

Last weekend we spent locally, running errands, going for a walk and going out for a movie with friends. Shortly after, my hubby tells me like he has no social life, because he can't hang out with his alcoholic ex-friends (hardcore drinkers in their 30-40s, they were arrested because of alcohol, vandalized public property and got themselves in trouble many times). He complained to me that it is because of mine lack of initiative we don't have our weekends properly planned. So this weekend I got tickets ($200) for a play in the theater, we have a VIP fashion event to attend with the after-party and hot sex. I was so excited for us! When I told him, he got angry and said that he is not going anywhere because this is too much pressure for him and that I should go alone because he doesn't want to deal with other people. When I ask him how would his ideal weekend look like, he can't define it, he just complains.

My wife has no clue what she's thinking/feeling. She didn't even realize her body was in pain at some point until it was deadly (Gallstone obstruction in gall bladder). She appears to lack self perception and lack self awareness (as well as self control and self esteem but that's for another day)... So when I ask her questions like "What are you feeling" she repeats with the automated response "fine" or "okay". When you press on for details she says "that's all"... I used to just mistaken her for someone who was just quiet/shy (like she tells everyone) but I think there's more going on here... When I ask her for her input on an important problem, she can't formulate a response. I send it to her in email and tell her "let me know in a few days" and a week will go by and I have to hound her for a response. When she responds, her response is "I don't know."... She claims to be a critical thinker who tries to see all the angles of a problem before she makes a decision, but I think since she's not good at this skill it petrifies her and she can't make a decision out of fear of being "wrong"... This might explain why she does everything by the book; she doesn't like it when things she does proves she isn't perfect (something she had to be as a kid). So my wife has a communication issues. This has lead to me researching online about her for 6 years to figure out the things she's unable to tell me... I feel like I'm married to a mute; only she can talk, she just doesn't. Any ideas? Oh, I should note that she can talk about OBJECTS just fine. Like how cute a dog is, or a baby is, or a miniature Monopoly board. She can also talk about movies, books, shows, anime, arts, crafts, games, and accounting; but she's not talking from a technical or a logical perspective, she's just talking superficially and in a "matter of fact" way. It's more of a talking AT you and not a talking WITH you...

I have split 50/50 custody with my ex wife. I want to move in with my girlfriend of two years, we have kids the same age. Right now my ex and I live 30 minutes apart and they attend school in her district. Where my current gf and I want to move is a 45 minute drive. My ex is throwing a huge fit and refuses to pick the children up at the new address. Can she do this? Can this hurt me in court and get my kids taken or the parenting plan swayed in her favor?

I ve been married for 8 years. We have been together for 10 years. We have a 5 yr old and a 2 and a half year old. I feel like I made a mistake. He is always watching soccer when he gets home from work. He doesn t pay attention to me. We only talk about kids related topics. He is so dry, like not romantic. I used to try and hold him or cuddle with him at night when kids are sleeping. But he doesn t like it. He says he wants to relax without someone being all over him I gave up on sex. I used to try to seduce him so we can have sex. But he says he is always tired. When he does want to have sex it s the wrong time because the kids are wide awake. Saturday night at 11pm is perfect for sex because kids are sleeping. But then he is tired. I don t like having sex when kids are awake. We have to rush before one of them wants to read a book or wants juice or needs a bath. He doesn t understand that. Our marriage seems more like a business. Get kids ready go to school do laundry pay bills grocery shopping clothes shopping homework etc. but no husband and wife moments. I am beginning to think I shouldn t have married him. Or if this is what marriage is then I should have never married.

We've both signed the paperwork. Paid the filing fees and all that ? But after it's been filed with the court do we have to appear in court for the divorce to be made final ? Shouldn't that be the end of it ?

My problem are: Can I divorce my husband that he lied to me that I find after few years that he is sterile/ infertility? Can I get divorce here in Massachusetts US even we are married in my country? Can I get alimony if I pursued my divorce to him? Can I get a green card if I pursued my divorce? My status to come here is only a B2 VISA. My husband have a Cancer that's. Why I come here in the states and he is US citizens. He never petition me after we get married. I come here this year 2015. If I divorce him can I ask the judge for my permanent status so that I will not depend to my husband? My husband his very frugal, thrifty and not good provider even he lied to me that for many yrs even I tried to convinced many before we get married to sperm count analysis but he kept refused. He is the one who hold and controlled what to do. He hide everything from me his savings accounts and etc... We married for 17yrs, no child because I really don't know. That he is sterile / infertile, I only know that he told me the truth yr 2009 that he is infertility. That's why he refused to hve sperm count analysis before we get married and he really knows why I get married to him bc of the reason to have our own . He is very frugal, controlled over me, thrifty, not good provider since before. My marriage is unhappy. I really dont know the law here. In my country only annulment not divorce. I don't have dollar cents in my pocket. I only depend on him. Please advice me. Thanks!!!

I really just worried about my mom. My dad has an ongoing drinking problem. He didn't always have it. It's just like over the past 5 years. He went to rehab twice. It did make him better. There was a point when it was so bad he would be drunk all day and didn't work. He doesn't get drunk at home, doesn't drink in the day. He just gets drunk with his friends at bars. He has a good job with construction. I'm in high school. My mom's a teacher. My dad blows a lot of money on cigarettes, drinking, etc. My mom is working two jobs to save for college for my brother and I. She says we won't get a lot of money because they'll think our income is high but it's really not because my dad spends so much and he doesn't cover his share of the bills. My mom is always struggling to pay for things we need and she's always tired from doing everything. My dad doesn't take money from her but sometimes he tries to get her to give her money, yells at her, grabs her, shoves her. He doesn't actually hit anybody though. My brother and I have tried to tell her to leave and that we don't want to live with him but she says she loves him and we don't understand. She told us if we were really uncomfortable, we could live with a relative for a little while until he's better but neither of us want to leave our mom because we love her. We love our dad, too, I guess but he's just a jerk. What can we do? Is it really that we "aren't understanding"? The whole situation just sucks.

My husband works a lot, 5 to 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts, comes home eats dinner, plays with the kids and then goes to bed. The only time he gives me attention is for sex and that's just a quickie and then straight to sleep. I try talking to him but he gets angry at me and starts a fight. He tells me that I am wrong to feel that way and to get off his back. Am I crazy? And if not, how do I go about working this out. Its been 5 years and I can't do this anymore. Help!

If you could mind control someone into being a stepford wife or husband, who would you do it with? Do not answer if you wouldn't do it. I do not care to hear from you. - please keep in mind this is a community forum, and not all questions pertain to you.

My head has not been handling things. Need to do something , Life is difficult. People are not perfect. But when you get out of focus and you loose that fun, young, play time that keeps us feeling young That's called sex, guys are difficult I know specially when you have a medical disorder. Sorry Just really difficult and I wish positive change could happen. , later ,

I'll try and be brief. My husband is a great person. I love him. But I am frustrated, and lost at this moment. To summarize, ever since we have had our son, he has stopped taking care of himself physically, gained a ton of weight, stopped doing things to enjoy life, only does stuff when it involves our child, and has no motivation what so ever to change. I know he is depressed but he is choosing not to get help for it. Plus he is such an emotional individual that I am afraid to say anything and I wouldn't even know where to begin. It is causing me to not want to be around him. It is not pleasant. I try to get him to get moving with me, but instead he wants to just sit and watch tv while our child plays. I'm so lost. I love him very much. But he has become someone unknown to me. I love him because he is a wonderful father. I love him because I know he cares for us. I just don't know this person he has become. It is as if the man I married is lost in a shell. He went from being a very active, fun loving, out going and healthy person, to someone who is the complete opposite. WE were BOTH active, loved being outdoors, working out together, eating well. Now it's just me and the kids. And he dodes over our son. He loves being his father. To the point he is obsessed with it. This has been getting worse over the past 3 years

My husband and I have been married a couple months but I worry about him cheating all the time. I even have dreams of him cheating. I worry about him going back to one of his exes.I know his ex is jealous of me he showed me her post on facebook.he tells me he loves me all the time though and has to be touching me all the time and does not want either of us to have friends. Is this normal

Today me and my husband want to the store he tired and crabby so when I dropped the cereal he said really rudely and stuff so i called him a jerk and walked away and went to the car and is that childish or what am I bad wife ?Sometimes I think hes better off without me...

Short and sweet, I need to convince/bribe (even though that's a terrible way to phrase it) my husband into taking couple's cooking classes with me. He has no interest in learning - his idea of a good homemade meal is cereal- and will probably call this a waste of a Sunday afternoon, but I'd really like to go!

You don't need to share it if you don't want (but this is anonymous after all) but I'm just wondering. Does everything have to be shared in a marriage or are you entitled to keep some things about your past to yourself?

I say the person you're married to because it is easier to replace a friend than to replace a husband or a wife.

Since women out number men on this site, I need your input on how (if at all) I can get my wife to see me as more than just a label/object/role. An ongoing problem in my life with my wife is her need to shove me (and herself) into boxes. You know what I'm talking about... Box 1: Boyfriend - The rules were the same as everyone else our age. Box 2: Fiance - Same as boyfriend, just required an investment in a ring for her to show off. Box 3: Father - She made up the rules and I just had to do as I was told. Box 4: Husband - She made up the rules and I just had to do as I was told. Box 5: Home Owner - She made up the rules and I just had to do as I was told. Box 6: Best Friend - I knew how to do this, but her rules are different... Box 7: Breadwinner - She made up the rules and I just had to do as I was told. Box 8: At Home Dad - She made up the rules and I just had to do as I was told. Box 9: Dual Income Partner - She is struggling to shove me into this box... Mind you, the woman equivalence of these boxes are also defined by her. I have had no say in my life since my son was born in 2001 (I was 20 when he was born). I personally hate boxes. I am an individual, not my box. She seems to really LOVE boxes. She feels an active duty being in a box; which is all fine and dandy, but I don't agree with the definitions (and I especially don't agree with the entitlements). Is getting her to see me as an individual a lost cause? Mind you, she's also a bit full of herself. Since she does her boxes "so well" she feels she is awesome and she should be treated that way... Meanwhile, when she calls herself a "good wife", I have no idea what that box/label/role even means so I can't argue with her since it seems to bring her joy/happiness. Of course there are times she calls me a "bad husband" and a "bad father" and a "bad friend"... Good/bad sounds like a Christian thing; but she hasn't been to church in 20 years! And there seems to be this competition among women... They all show off on Facebook the things they do with their kids. It's almost like they are proving to some Facebook God that they are worthy of attention or social acceptance.... I don't get it really... If I can get her to see herself as an individual too then I think this would solve 2/3 of all of my problems. But as far back as I can remember it has always been about the box and how well we "do our job"... Lastly there's the inflated self importance problem. Since she proudly holds these boxes/roles, and she is a perfectionist who tries to master everything task she's assigned, my wife believes she is "Awesome" at what she does, thus deserves some kind of admiration from me, the kids, and her friends for being better than everyone else... She identifies with her boxes, not with her self. As a matter of fact, I'm concerned she even has a "self". Makes me worried what I see in her really... This isn't a gender issue. This is a "MY wife" issue. If you feel that all women do this and you want to move this to Gender Studies then you are going to make a lot of Traditionalist/Absolutists angry with me. Don't do it again, even if you hate/dislike me, please don't move my question there again...

Do you think most women would say no to this question? A lot of young women/girls come from abusive/broken homes and therefore don't love themselves, so they tend to make bad choices in men. Did I spell it out for you bonn? @Livng the dream, good point! I said a lot of women, not all.

Earlier today someone asked a question complaining that her husband wanted to name the baby "junior." And one of the answers was basically that the WIFE trumps the husband and should be the one who picks the name, since she is the one who is pregnant for 9 months, gives birth, and then is home with the baby at least at the beginning. What do men think upon hearing that statement? Do you really think the husband/father deserves no say because he is not pregnant or breastfeeding the kid once it's born?

Ok I'm married and want to be the best wife I can be ill start by sYing the things I take pride in doing..I've never cheated nor lied to him I always make myself available sexually for him I adore my husband I'm his biggest fan! I always make sure the house is clean and dinner is done! Even when he messes up I'm always understanding and try to figure the situation out together instead of blaming him!! I always listen to him about his day and tell him Everything will work out..I've never brought him down I always try and build him up!! I just wanna be the best wife I can be an I doing anything wrong is there anything I can do or do better? I always comment back on ur comments:) and pick a best answer

I'm considering leaving my wife, and we're in Texas. She's told me she's threatening to "eat my spirit" if I ever leave her, and I don't want to drive for fear of her knowing that I'm somewhere inland with a car. I just want to go away, and I'm thinking ditching my identity and swimming to Florida is the smartest escape plan. But what's the best way to swim there? Is there a line of current that goes from TX to FL, so I can let the water carry me a bit if I get tired on the way? I'm in Galveston.

My husband (24) has chronic migraines. Just about everyday hes complaining about how horrible they are. Because of his migraines he is unable to go to work and cant stand to be around loud noises which is difficult because we have 2 children under the age of 3. I feel like a single parent i clean, i take care of my kids, and i can barely leave him to babysit because he gets so frustraited with our kids because of how loud they are. We can no longer have conversations because he only wants to talk about his migraines. He used to be such a nice guy. Now hes constantly frustraited and complains and he shows no interest in anything other than video games. He plays them constantly and i dont want to think that hes capable of faking his migraines but they only seem to get in the way of things that he dousnt want to do. He has no problem going to a midnight release of a game but is hurting way to bad to go to walmart on the way home. Hes sincitive to light but can sit litereally inches away from a tv for hours on end. And if i try to confront him about anything chore related im the bad guy, the wife who dousnt understand hes in pain. We also are unable to go out as a family now. Weve been to a resturant maybe 3 times as a family and have only taken our kids to the park twice and when hes there hes so miserable to be around. I dont know what to do. If i leave him im the bad guy if i stay my kids and i are miserable. The Drs have no diagnosis & medicine even botox dousnt seem to help

asked this question yesterday, only 2 dudes answered so im asking it again imagine if your wife cheated and admitted it, she said she feels bad and guilt is eating her. you decide to forgive her and live with her. but unfortunately, you get injured at work leaving you unable at work and need care from your wife 24/7. would this wife (who cheated) love you and help you or she'll abandon you just like how she cheated? the answers arent fitting what i asked, only happy-2 answered his opinion which isr elated to the question the question is: do you trust your wife if she cheats on you but admits + you forgive her but TRUST you trust her to take care OF you if you are in a wheelchair? (imagine if you get injured after she admits) would she help you? or you think her cheating starts again and she'll sign for divorce to take 50% of your money and leave you alone?

So my friend and I used to be very close. We used to text each other often and see each other weekly. Lately, the friendship has soured when I told her to just divorce her husband if he's not happy with him. Her husband is 20 years older and is financially set. They couldn't divorce because they have financial arrangements which will voided if they divorced. My problem is she would go hiking with guys she considers her friends and she still in contact with most of her ex-boyfriend who all want to get back to her because her marriage is really rocky. Also, I don't want to judge her but she's talking about her boyfriends. My other problem started when I allowed her and my husband to go hiking. I know they are just friends but I didn't realize they were talking about me(and intimate and personal conversation). After one of their hikes, my husband blurted out the divorce to me and that he was unhappy. I confronted my friend about their conversation but she basically said that he's been unhappy for a long time. My husband and I made up every since and we're working on our marriage. However, my friend has been distant ever since. I apologized to her even though she has flirted with my husband several times. I can't help it but to have pride. Am in the wrong here for standing my ground to protect my marriage? We really don't see eye to eye in so many levels but our kids and our husbands are friends. What would you do? Should I stay in touch or leave the friendship to falter?

My husband and I have been together for 10 years now. He is a hard worker and loving father, but a very unaffectionate husband. I myself am very affectionate and that doesn't have to always include sex. My husband shows our kids love, but rarely shows me any affection at all. When I ask for affection or try to discuss this with him he gets defensive and says I'm overly sensitive, needy and that I should just understand that he is not an affectionate person. Well I do understand that and have always given him his space, I always lay low and do things his way and just wait for him.... but I don't think it's asking too much for just a little bit of love sometimes? And I just mean hold my hand or put his arm around me on the couch or something? The only time he ever shows me any sort of affection is right before sex and that only happens once a week.. and literally lasts 60 seconds, then boom, moments over, back to normal passionless life. Then I feel used. Whenever I try to initiate sex any other time of the week (which I've recently realized I do mostly because I'm seeking affection..) he rejects me, turns me down once again, saying I'm overly affectionate and too sensitive.. It feels like he picks me up when he needs me and expects me to sit on the back burner in the meantime. I'm not overweight or unattractive, I'm a great mother, I put my all into raising our kids and keeping a clean home, and making sure he and everyone in this house is happy... am I being ridiculous? Am I asking too much? Could someone please explain to me his logic and help me accept his ways or can someone please help me get him to seem interested in me? I've considered divorce but don't want our kids to miss out just because of my feelings.. but is that fair? I don't know what to do.

At the beginning I think both people enjoy sex with each other, but over time do women loose interest sexually in their husbands and only have sex because the husband wants it? Wives, are you still sexually interested/attracted to your husband after many years of marriage? Be honest. Why do you think that is? Does it get boring because you only have sex with one person? Do women simply not have the sex drive men do? If I'm wrong why do you still want sex?

At the beginning I think both people enjoy sex with each other, but over time do women loose interest sexually in their husbands and only have sex because the husband wants it? Wives, are you still sexually interested/attracted to your husband after many years of marriage? Be honest. Why do you think that is? Is it because sex with the same person gets boring after a while? When they have sex is it only because their husbands want it? Do the wives not care about sex?

I have been friends with this woman for a little over a year and we have gotten very close. She has mentioned a few times that my husband is good looking and just generally talks about how great he is after a few drinks. I have felt like she was a little flirty with him but then rationalized that I was overreacting. However, I think she may have pushed my buttons one too many times. My husband was at the gym running on the treadmill with his headphones on and she approached him, stopped until he took his headphones off to "say hi". Then tried to make small talk to which my husband cut her short. The next week she was at my house having a few glasses of wine and girl talk and when my husband got home from work she started talking to him about something that is irrelevant. Well, I joined in the conversation and she actually told me that they were talking and for me to let him talk! lol. I didn't think too much of it at the time because like I said drinks were flowing. But it really bothered me the next day. She also touched my husband on the arm when she was talking to him that day as well which she has done before and I find disrespectful. So my question is, am I over reacting? At this point I have cut her off and ignored her.

The problem : My wife is the center of her universe. She has no friends unless they are codependent of her and ask her for advice or emotional support; in other words they have to play a role in that universe with her in the center (narcissistic supply). The children also serve no purpose to her if they don't need her for emotional support, which could explain why she is so AGAINST me teaching them to be more critical thinkers who make decisions for themselves. My role in her life is to give her emotional/sensual attention; this is how our relationship started, and it only departed from this because giving all the time without taking becomes draining... So in our household and social life, her needs are in constant need of being satisfied (receiving plenty of carrots with no strings attached) and my needs (as well as the children's needs) are constantly being neglected (no carrots for us). Solution? : I'm a bit of a strategist. I don't look at a problem from a single angle and do the tried and true approach (mostly because it is costly and a waste of energy); instead I look at it from MULTIPLE angles and I try to fully understand the problem and what can be done about it. My solution is we'll revolve around an idea instead of HER. But getting her OUT of the center is going to be the hard part. After MANY failed attempts (including love and respect), I think the only option here is for me to exploit my wife's insecurities and use it to motivate her OUT... But should I? Sometimes the only way to deflate a balloon (and an ego) is to let out a little bit of air at a time then patch it up when it is the right size... Because if you don't do it slow, and you do it too fast, the balloon will pop; and then you'll be left with a bunch of tiny fragments of what once was... My goal is to make her feel special, but to crowd her out and not make her feel any more special than the rest of us. FACTS --- She won't go to a therapist because she is HIGH FUNCTIONING. She would only see a therapist if she was low functioning (depressed, sad, anxious, mad, etc). We also married LONG before these symptoms came to be; these symptoms didn't show themselves until after children and around her 25th birthday (we were already married 5 years). I "enable" her narcissism by giving her what she wants; but now, if I don't give it to her she finds ways of retaliating. LEVEL 7 TROLL --- While I definitely feel this idea is "out of this world", I don't think moving this question to space & astrology has anything to do with this question... Just because you believe in psychology and Christianity doesn't mean everyone HAS to take that path. Leave this question in Marriage & Divorce so I can have some of the 20+ people waiting to give marriage advice answer my question. Thanks. LEVEL 7 TROLL --- I can move this question BACK to M&D all day long if I have to. And I will do it without a care in the world. U mad bro?

A friend of mine has two children with her husband. She is white and her husband is black. Whenever she sees my children who are not biracial but from two black parents, she makes mention of the fact that my children are so much lighter in skin tone than her children. She said she thought having an interracial child meant they would have a beautiful skin tone and curly or wavy hair. Her children have features more like their father and are beautiful.. I feel she is either embarrassed or upset about their skin tone and hair texture not working in "her favor" . I was completely taken aback by that statement. Our sons are graduating high school this year and she still can't get over it. She mentions it to all interracial couples with children who have lighter skin than hers and to me. I tried to tell her it doesn't matter but the look on her face says it does. I think she had these children for aesthetic purposes and I am tired of trying to explain genetics to her. She is an RN and married to a doctor. She has never mentioned this when her husband is present.