I've been in love with this girl for about 3 years now, we went to college together, I can't help that I love her.

I want a divorce but as the unemployed in the relationship how do I pursue a divorce.

Family, child custody

If I get married in another state, I understand that on the marriage certificate it will have my maiden name. I also understand that I will have to go to a social security office to have my name legally changed to my husband's BUT can I go to the local SS office in that state, or do I have to come back to my home state to have my name changed?

When My fiancé and I get into arguments she sometimes brings up the fact that she has the better job and that it took her 4 years to get her bachelors degree (it took me 7.. And I also got 2 associates bc I didn t know which major to pursue). So when we argue she says thinks about "your stupid job that can t even pay for this place without me". And it pisses me off and literally makes me want scream at her so loud. But I don t and I just get quiet and end up "shutting down" to the conversation bc I just feel like crap. And no my job doesn t pertain to my major at the moment. Advice??

I feel so much guilt... . I don't want him to think it's cause I dislike him. He's actually the best ever. But now I'm afraid to even talk to him again. It just sucks...being depressed is like a cycle that never ends. There's so much recycled to feel guilty for. I don't deserve anyone is how I feel. Heck I literally spent hours unable to stop crying for no ******* reason and the thoughts come in my head a mile a minute about how must of a waste of space I am. But on the other hand I absolutely have nothing but positive things when I think of him.

There's a married guy I've been friends with for 3 years now and we've kinda been having an emotional affair/flirting, he said he isn't trying to be physical but is very intrigued by me... I look at him as a friend though, so I decided to give him a key... He's never introduced me to his wife and kids.. I'm 21 and he is 36. Was this a good idea? I felt bad because I told him he couldn't come over one night and he asked was I denying him access... :-/

Yes I asked that below. I added on to it at the bottom. My question is is this wrong? She just wants to have control over some of my money, when we pretty much share everything. I think its a slap in the face. I pay for almost everything, she spends her money just for her, I support us and take care of him night and day 6 days a week. Am I overreacting? Oh, I also support my daughter from another mother, and her two kids. I watch them after school, take them to practice, take them to school, make them lunches to take, make dinner, clean house. Buy toys and clothes. I don't mind one bit. But I feel as if she just wants more money. Maybe I have phrased everything wrong.

I got this e-mail from a friend, and I really don't know what to tell her. Her husband has 2 kids (7 and 5) and she has 1 daughter (7) that they are raising. He has joint custody with the ex-wife and my friend's ex boyfriend is deceased. Also, he had no family and her parents are deceased. They treat all the kids the same, don't even use the word step in their home. Her MIL unfortunately favors his children over hers in very obvious ways. She'll buy presents for the 2 bio grands and nothing for her daughter, take them to the zoo and leave her daughter with another family member, tells her daughter not to call her "nana" stuff like that. This really hurts the daughter to the point where she's cried and asked her mom why nana doesn't love her like her siblings. They've BOTH spoken to her about the behavior many times and she doesn't see anything wrong with it so her husband decided she won't see any of the kids until she learns to treat them equal. Recently, however his ex wife (who is still very close to the family) has started taking the children to visit nana during her time with the kids (they found out through the kids). They confronted the ex; she says the kids missed their nana and wanted to see her. She also thought they were wrong in "punishing" nana just because she didn't want to accept a child that wasn't her blood that just because "you (hubby) want to treat the kid as yours doesn't mean your family has to" and that this was between nana and them but if the kids asked to visit nana again, she would take them and also how dare they try to dictate her time with the children. I'm not sure why she's siding with the MIL. The marriage ended because she discovered she was a lesbian so no bitterness there. They all had a good relationship prior to this situation. Like I said, I don't know what to tell her.

I am about to start the petition for my husband and want to make sure everything is good.

My wife got pissed off at me the other day because I did not make it a point to walk to my potential new job with HER KIDS. She gets mad that I spend zero time with them . Tells me to try teaching them guitar , I have no patience for bird brains , I am also NOT A TEACHER. Tells me I should try to talk about what interest them and about their day in school. Thing is I've gone to school I know what it's like. I need not hear about it again . Tells me to try and teach them anything , when they have the smallest attention span . I don't have patience . I just figure it's easier to let them just do what they want with each other as long as they do what mom Expects them to . I feel like everyone on here thinks I'm the bastard for marrying some chick with momo children . Mainly I think this because everyone tells me that I am ruining what ever chance the kids have or had of their scum bag dads getting back with their mom . Thing is she asked ME to MARRY HER! So technically she married in to my life . I did not Marry into hers . But you rape victim yahoo-ians have nothing better to. Do than post your feelings that have nothing to do with the subject of this post every time I post on this page people talk ****. It can be quite taxing , people on here make me out to be the bastard and make me feel like I'm suppose to suffer for little shits who may or may not like or love me and that I am supposed to just love them unconditionally . Well I hate to break it to you you're wrong

When my estranged husband and I first got married him beating me up slowly creeped into our marriage. When I was pregnant with our son he beat me and choked me, he choked me hours before I went into labor. After our son was born he was better and would always say sorry after, I was the typical abuse victim had no friends no anything. About a year later I found out I was pregnant again only this time he was cheating on me too with girls from tinder. I caught it and he came home and beat me so bad that he was charged with 2nd degree felony assault, my neck muscles were torn I had a concussion and a fractured rib. However when he was in jail I was an idiot and took him back. Things were good until I refused to have an abortion he said get rid of her or I'm leaving you for another girl. I told him to leave and he did. He put things like sex ads of me on Craigslist with my phone number and address when I refused an abortion. But this girl is with him still. My question is will he do this to her too or did he just hate me that much? Was it my fault?

Me and my boyfriend/fiancé want to get married by law. We don t want to have an actual party or any of that we just want to legally be married and that s it. How do you even begin? I know you get a marriage license but is that it? Or do you go to court as well? How much does it cost to do everything? We want to know about how much we will be spending

In casual ways, or never mention her.

My husband and I had a fight. He was arrested. But we have a no contact order.. Can i still write the judge even though it's my husbands fight with me?

He has since remarried however I want to prove he conceived while he was married to me. The mother is in the Air Force.

Okay so if a husband cheats on his wife he deserves a kick in the balls right ? But if a man slaps his wife for cheating its abuse how does this work?

my ex and I had a divorce less than a year ago. I love our children to death, but i don't know how i'll handle this anymore. she's forcing their medical bills on me, and now i owe thousands of dollars. they don't have severe conditions, or any conditions. but one ER visit can easily cost thousands w/o insurance, which she lost after the divorce.... i know there's nothing wrong with my children. but she's been bringing the kids there all to put me into debt...for stupid things, like headaches or them feeling sick with a cold. but the visits in and of themselves costs 3-4K whether there's a diagnosis or not. she has done this multiple times now, and so the debt of over 15K is now in my name. i don't want to cut off contact with my children (she has primary custody, but i speak with them every day and skype), but what else can i do if this debt keeps piling up? i can't handle this, and the courts never listened to me about anything. she does get the bills. but she won't pay and uses my insurance information, so that when the bills go to collections i'm responsible.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have a beautiful babygirl together . Everything was going great betweens us, we were bestfriends but unfortunately we are now separated for one year because of mother in law issues that were unberable and therefore got the two families involved who made things even worse and because of that my husband told me that he needs some space . He never tells me about his feelings anymore, he is very cold with me ( eventhought we are planning to move abroad away from his family and mine soon but I am scared to live with him again if he does not love me anymore. We talk on skype once a week and he is the one suppoting me and our child financially. Can this be just a phase or does he feel forced to be with me because we have a child?

I'm starting to realize that people are supplementing their happiness and their compatibility with a little help from their friend Jack (or if they're classy Guinness - or if they are trendy Pabst).... So I wanted to ask this as my last question before I go home for the day - are you a regular drinker (not alcoholic but a social drinker) to subside your adversity to your spouse so you two can get along superficially or at least harmoniously now that your brain is "quieted"? Be honest with me. I've had a few of you admit to me that you drink to calm your nerves (alcohol is a known carcinogen by the way) so my question might hold more than just a few cubes of ice... Do you modify your mood through alcohol just so you and your spouse can get along? I can't help but feel like by the time you got married, alcohol may have already been a part of your life daily due to casual drinking being a social norm in our society. I mean, you can't do anything without someone "buying you a drink". This made me think about my wife and I. We are coffee drinkers not alcohol drinkers. She does 2 to 4 cups a day and I do one (though today is my first day of none). And since coffee is a stimulant, and alcohol is a depressant, it would make sense how that is affecting our marriage... So I have a challenge to someone, switch your alcohol with coffee and see if you two argue more. Get back to me and let me know if you do or not. If you've already tested it, what were your results?

The person came over to my house to give us a quotation and he made me feel very uncomfortable by the way he was starring at me.We continued to have plans drawn by him ...and even when we met on a second occasion I found him to be weird.I then told my husband idont want to do further business with this guy.My husband was very upset with me and tells me im being paranoid and that im wasting everyones time.whats yourls opinion on this?i really don't wanna hire him altho he is from a reputable company ...Im by my self all day ...have no kids and I don't trust this guy to work in my house

My husband celebrated his 44th birthday last Wednesday, his first as us being married. I wasn't going to get paid until that Friday, so I asked him if he wouldn't mind celebrating it officially on Saturday. I wanted to do something special as his wife, invite his family, etc. He agreed. Later on, at his mom's house in front of her, we discussed having it on Saturday again. She just said, "oh, okay." The day before his birthday, we're at her house again, and she asks him if he would like a chocolate cake for his birthday, which was the next day. My husband, without thinking agreed. I asked him about Saturday and he didn't sound so enthused and said that he guessed he could get two cakes. Long story short, his mom threw his birthday party and invited everyone. What really hurt me was that he didn't even want to hear what I had to say regarding this issue the night before his birthday, and just rolled over and fell asleep. This isn't the first time that he disregards my plans in lieu of his mom's and everyone else's. I'm just tired of him never taking my suggestions and constantly teasing me about the way I walk, etc. I love him, but for once I want to feel taken care of, appreciated, etc. He isn't working right now, because he's working on getting his master's degree. We're living with my aunt right now, so I basically don't feel like I have the place of the wife and mother, as he's always asking his mom to help us.

Now I know that some of you might be thinking my questions are getting more and more nonsensical but there's method to my mayhem. In my study, anything you believe in your mind as real comes true in real life because we can project it to "look" real. Here's an example: next time you look at another woman, see if she has one eyeball higher than another; if she does then she is not pretty. Once you start to do this a few times, you are going to feel like many other women aren't pretty because their eyeballs are not even. And if you look in the mirror, you too may feel ugly because of this illogical fact you just created... This is how the mind works, mind over matter... So I argue that if we don't believe in love and look for it (as Christians are encouraged to do - look for symbols of love) then it doesn't exist. Kind of like how if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it then it doesn't make a sound. If a person does a loving gesture, but no one is around to feel it or receive it, then did that loving gesture ever happen? No. Because love can ONLY happen if it is given then received. So this got me to wondering, do you have to believe in love the same way for you and your spouse to actually "love" each other? I mean, I read a book that there are 5 different love languages; so if I have 1 and my wife has a different one, does that mean we will never show love to each other since neither will receive it? Is THIS what incompatibility means?

Imaginary person 1: Enjoys sitting at home and refuses to do any housework. This person enjoys writing books, belly dancing, pole dancing, and crafting. Due to their sedentary lifestyle though they can't belly dance or pole dance and probably never will be able to do it ever again. They don't have a job but married a man who is willing to support her. She also has no shame in getting on government assistance since "that's what the program is there for". Imaginary person 2: Enjoys sitting at home and refuses to do any housework. This person enjoys video games, playing card games, drinking beer, but will leave the house to go do things with the guys like camping or other manly things. Due to their sedentary lifestyle though they can't do very many manly things any more so the guys don't invite him out any more. They have a job but it really is only enough to cover themselves. He also has no shame in getting on government assistance for the same reasons as person 1. Now, let's say they get married young, but over the years their "passion" dies out (like I believe everyone's passion does). Let's also say that person 1 takes on a feminist and LGBT mentality and person 2 takes on a conservative and anti-gay mentality. Since they were compatible enough to marry, would their new opposing thoughts/beliefs create friction to the point of divorce? They both seem to have the fundamental things in life in common and enough differing to not be annoying. So why would or wouldn't it work? These people obviously aren't imaginary. They are old friends of mine who are on a separation right now but they are too addicted to sex and to the "easy life" that they keep going back to each other. I just wondered if it could be determined if they were doomed to stay separated or if they were going to get back together because "opposites attract" or some other BS superficial reason you people give.

He lost his license 2 yrs ago due to 2nd drunk driving incident (2nd one in 5 yrs) and won't take steps to get it back. He insists on driving w/out his license and gets mad when I'm uncomfortable with him driving the kids. He also refuses to stop drinking because he says he will never drink and drive again. I just found out he lied to me about the details of his arrest too. There are other issues but we have 2 kids so I've been trying to make it work but since finding out that he lied I'm wondering if I'm making a mistake putting up with this. I'm just looking for some opinions I guess. Thanks.

Lately this month he started working on the weekends. I mean who works 7 days a week but has no paycheck to show for it? He started going to the store for two hours and came back with one thing. On one of these trips I noticed our last condom was missing. He said it must have fallen out. I searched everywhere. The drawer and behind the bed. It s not there. He s cheating right? If I ask he gets defensive. He makes up excuses about people in line talking to him and holding him up. When we go out he s not friendly and speak to random people. Should I get a divorce so soon?

we have been talking a lot more i still really like him. He broke up with me saying he needed time to get his life together. We hung out and it went really well but then got into a serious discussion two days later basically about being together and he said he likes me but doesnt want anything with anyone and i said how he pushes me away and puts up walls and he says he knows he does but thats how he is and i said if you want to be that way but stop trying to push me away because its not going to work and ill always care. (recently he lost a lot of friends he really pushes ppl away idk why) and i told him to google a couple things if he didnt want to talk to me and it could help. Next day i said how i just want to spend more time with him that im not asking to get back together but im not going to pretend i dont have feelings and i wasnt sure how to proceed with him now whether he wants to keep talking or if i should date etc and he said hed call me today and we'll talk about it... im nervous :/

I see this term floating around but it doesn't meaning anything to me. Since it doesn't come natural to me to know what is and isn't compatible, clearly this is another social/cultural construct/system; but how does it work? Is it astrology related (Cancer and a Cancer don't mix bro) or is it class related (She was poor and you were middle, it could never work) or is it religion related (She's a Christian and you're an atheist, give up bro) or is it social group related (She's a people pleaser and you're a loner, can't please the loner group so go away) or is it a normalcy thing (she isn't feminine enough to balance your masculine energy, it would just be chaos bro)... What exactly is this "compatibility"? Instead of pretending that it's me asking, pretend that it is a child that you respect and you really want them to fully understand the concept so they can pass it on their kids and this concept doesn't die like many other customs and languages do through the generations. Bonus points if you explain if compatibility is part of your identity or if it's part of your DNA (who you were nurtured to become vs who you naturally are).

What is a jurisdictional testimony, in relation to a divorce? Also, is the a particular way to give one?

"All wives make their husbands lunch" They don't. Men can make their own sammich. BUT, do women who make sammiches for their husband feel better about being a wife due to this affirmation? "All husbands buy flowers for their wife on Valentine's Day" Well, I don't. But does that make me a bad husband? I instead will take my wife out to dinner and do something else she enjoys for Valentine's Day. The goal is to make them feel special right? But would I be a happier husband if I conformed and her a happier wife if she pretended to enjoy it? "All women love pink" Okay, so we know this isn't true BUT what if you conformed to that. Would that be a better life not having to fight/hate against it? "All men like sports" Well, I don't. But would I be happier if I acted like I did so I could bond with other men just going through the motions? "All career women must wear heels and do their makeup" My wife doesn't do either of those things (yet). But would she be happier and more successful in her job if she did? "All men fix their own cars and/or rebuild/restore an old one" So if I took this hobby up, what would result in my happiness level? Would I feel more satisfied with life after my struggle to do this against my will? What percentage of cultural competency would you say has bearing on our happiness? Even though it is extremely out of character, should we do these highly illogical things because of the (hypothetical) benefits we'd gain doing it?

You have been married for 25+ years. Your spouse confesses to you that while you were dating they had a one night stand. It happened once before you were married and that was it. What would you do? What effect would it have on your marriage?

I'm getting married in a few months. Alot of people are telling me we need a budget. My fiance says we don't need one, but I want one. He wants me to have my own and him to his own. He says we will go in halves on everything, but I make less money than he does and I'm part time while he is full time. Can this way work or do I need to convince him to do unity budget? How can I convince him to do a united budget if that is what we need?

Okay, so given my wife's codependent/borderline parents, my wife (without my help) realized that the way her parents did things was "wrong" and when she said she wants to be better than her Mom, she meant it as "I don't trust anything she said". I guess the whole "I can't trust them" is the reason she disowned them. So, yeah, case close on that bit from an hour ago... But... My wife just confessed that she models her life after people she likes what they are doing and how they look. Okay, so from one bias to the next... How do you model after someone's success when you don't know what it took to get there? I see the Jones's next door and I want to be like them too BUT I don't model my life around being like them when I have no idea what it took to get there! What beliefs do they carry? What is their family structure? What is their discipline? Did they start with money as inheritance? So many things you don't learn by just observing someone... And the things that she can't observe someone to chameleon to be like, she just takes the current systems in place, "throw out the bad parts" and then do that. But she not once has considered if the "bad parts" were the good parts for anyone else. So if she is making her own rules up as she goes, can I really treat her like an equal to me? I mean, I'm not involved in the rule making process, so is she treating ME like an equal? I like the idea of thinking on the fly, but it needs to be a family focus, not a self focus (like it is).

Before I met my wife I wasn t exactly an upstanding citizen. The truth is that now I m a upstanding member of my community but I use to be a lowlife. Until I started over and changed my name. The irony I didn t even really move that far away just to the better part of town. Anyway I have three kids with my wife and one daughter with an ex. My ex's sister told me she was living with a registered sex offender and my immediate reaction was to have my daughter get her things and move in with me. I didn't even tell my wife about it in fact everything happened pretty fast like literally in a day. You can imagine my wife's reaction to finding a young girl living in our house. The reason I was never really part of my daughter's life was I didn't find out my girlfriend at the time was pregnant until I got locked up and she told me to leave her and the kid alone. I obliged at first visiting every now and then but when I found out my ex was living with a sex offender and I just lost it. How can I make this easier on everyone?

Its normally the other way around, with the husband in the army, while wife is home with the kids, but how is it for husbands who are home, while the wife is away ? Are you husbands in this position ? How does it feel ?

I have been married for 15yrs I luv my husband but I guess he doesn't luv me or our kids because he doesn't acknowledge us unless hes complaining about something or he wants to be intimate w/me. he took another job so he wouldnt have to be around us. he picks fights w/me for no reason & when I tell him I want a divorce he says he will take everything including the kids & I will nvr see the again then a couple hrs later he begs me not to leaving him I call lawyers for a consult & end up cancelling because I hope things will get better. which they don't I feel like I have failed my marriage & children. he wont allow me to have friends or talk to my family when he is here so I have lost almost all of my friends because hes very mean to them & me. I need advice plz help Idk who to turn to

I'm sorry not enough info in the question but.. I'm going to tell you now. My husband works as a construction worker and the company is giving tickets to all the employees for six flags. He's getting 4 of them. So, it's me, him and 2 other family members that will go with us. It will land on my birthday, the 27 of September. Its really not a problem but since my daughter still breastfeds, I don't know what to do. She is 11 months and eats solids now. But she still likes to breast feed. I never listened when everyone told me to take away the breast and give her bottle because I have my own beliefs and said the breast was best. Now my mother in law wants to babysit her and our other son that day but I don't know if she can make it and it's worrying me to the point that I will not be able to go. Its a one day thing and I haven't been there in ages. But I don't know what I should do. My Father in law says to give her gallon milk since she's almost 1 year old. But my husband tells me to buy the already made formula or at least one can of formula for her for that day. Please help me if you can. Just looking for decent answers. Thank you all in advance: )

Long story short. I was married to my ex for 12 years, and we have 5 kids together. I was awarded $1700.00 a month in child support. My ex has since remarried, and he has a new baby on the way with his new wife. My ex wants me to give him a "break" on his child support. I told him to suck it up. He thinks that I'm being selfish, and he's right I am. Our children were born first, and it's HIS responsibility to make sure that their needs are met, before the new baby. 1: I do work full time, but my ex makes almost 3 times as much money as I do. 2: He has a lot more debt to income ratio than I do. 3: I wish no ill will on the new baby, but OUR kids were born first. They are his FIRST priority, above the new baby that is coming. 4: I'm not jealous, but I am angry that he expects me to give him a "break", because he doesn't feel that OUR children, should come first anymore. @ Donut, he wants to lower the amount to $850.00 a month. If it was just a couple of hundred, I would have said ok. But he wants it to go down to half. Our kids don't deserve this, and I've already told him that I will fight him on this. @ Ryde On, it's because OUR children were here first. Their needs come FIRST. I am a single mother, and I am raising my children by myself, with no involvement from my ex-husband. He MOVED across the country to be with his new wife, and he expects me to carry all of the financial burden of raising our children alone. I count on that amount of child support to help me pay for food, childcare, medical co-pays, insurance etc. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to give him a break. @ Nancy, my ex has NOT seen our children in almost 2 years. This makes me so very sad for them. He CHOSE to leave Oregon, and move to NY to be with his new wife. I don't care that he's remarried, but I do care that he wants to forsake our children for the new baby that's coming. I'm not going to give him a break period. He's the one who destroyed our marriage with his lying, and cheating.

Okay, so hear me out before you declare me a misogynist (which I'm not - if anything I'm a misandrist just like all of you). Child rearing and raising has ALWAYS been a woman's job. Working or not, there was NO debate on who's job it was to nurture and raise the child. In all other cultures I've been introduced to, even post women rights, women were still the nurturers and the child raisers. It wasn't that they were "held" to this role, they were just best suited for it since the systems in place haven't evolved with men in mind (men are still shamed for being SAHD in most parts of the 1st world). And men have always been the protectors and the brute force needed for intimidation to ward off enemies; if men were taken from this role then women would have to do this themselves (and most are not)... So I got to thinking. What if my mother in law was a misandrist and taught my wife how to hate men and to not fulfill her cultural role/duties because of her own agenda? And of course my wife meets me in the rebellious stage of her life and gets married to a man anyways, but then when she settles down returns to these "anti" mentalities taught to her... Could she really be just doing as she was told/taught by her mother? To fight norms and to reinvent the wheel (because.... feminism)? Her sister is a misandrist and is LGBT. The shoe fits... But is the shoe just something I made up to create certainty in a chaotic situation? Does this sound probable? Her mother has hated her father (despite never divorcing) since before my wife was born. MIL could control FIL so MIL held resentment and preached it to my wife and her sister ever since they were little. When I met my wife, she hated the FIL for treating MIL wrongly; but then, as she got older, she realize MIL was wrong and she didn't know who to hate. Instead, she disowned both of them and only sees them twice a year... My rationalization is a stretch but the shoe still fits... To me it does. Correction - MIL could NOT control FIL. Sorry, typing too fast... MIL wanted FIL to be more responsible, mature, righteous, morally upright, and a family man but FIL refused to do it. So MIL had to do all the raising alone (as a lot of women had to do in that era) and MIL let her resentment dictate how she treated my wife and her brother and sister (brother ran away it was so bad). And MIL didn't seek mental help because it was the era you just got locked up for being a whacko... As history has a tendency to repeat itself... In my early years, my wife tried to change me to be more responsible, mature, righteous, morally upright, and a family man.... This is the mold she has put me in for 14 years... And yes, this is the mold that I try to conform to (and fail to)... So in the end, she's trying to be just like my MIL but she's picked someone nothing like her FIL... And the more I think about it, the more I think she needed someone more like her FIL than me in her life...

I have a friend who is separated from their husband and no longer living together in Louisiana. They both want the divorce but it can t be done for another 4 1/2 months. He is constantly calling and texting her wanting to know everything and randomly show up at her place and ***** if shes not there or start arguing with her over nothing. Does she really have to put up with that or is he even allowed to do this? He left her to begin with and now he s acting like this just being an ***. Any suggestions please and thank you

I am married for 11 years.

i have a frozen honey mustard pork tenderloin, i want to cook it in the crock pot. can i just pop it in frozen? or what is the quickest way to thaw it? i need it done by 4- 4:30, it is now 8. will it dry out since it is already pre-seasoned?