$$ reasons I can't

Ex-wife #1 will be serving her holiday boiled turkey with oatmeal-and-prune stuffing, with sides of sweet and sour creamed corn and pumpkin-spiced tuna dip. Her specialty, though, is "accidentally" trying to set my chest hair on fire with her cigarette. I probably could avoid the chest hair arson if I wore something other than my cold weather wifebeater, but I am a strong believer in tradition, so the chest hair will be on display. Ex-wife #2 will be cooking up her special mustard glazed liver-and-clam loaf, with pork rind kugel--a nod to my German-Jewish ancestry that she tries to wrestle down my throat each year--and Crisco with chocolate sauce for dessert. This particular ex always claims that spilling hot coffee on my crotch is an accident, which seems unlikely, given that four years running the coffee was "accidentally" hurled from across the table by her beefy arm. Ex-wife #3 is a real treat, with her escargot a lá mode...she digs the snails out of the *garden* behind her trailer where the septic tank is seeping up. She doesn't do much more than that, because she is constantly obsessed with staying thin, and her usual diet is tic tacs and ex-lax. Every year she tries to harpoon my testicles with the skewer she serves up the snails on, but she is so jittery she always misses. In addition, all three harp on the same theme about what a lousy husband I was to them, and how I'm a worthless deadbeat dad. Anyway, which holiday hag should I favor with my company?

Just curious. Bonus question: Do you use toys, fingers, or other method? And what is your age and years married? @Fate How about an average. Throw me afucking bone here.

Assuming you have children in marriage. Would you stay or leave? . @BAM: What part of.... "and you've done everything to fix the situation" ....do you not understand? I don't care about the specifics so the reader can assume this is either referring to 3rd party intervention (medical help, counseling) or communication with spouse. . @Chmona: Marriage vows mean nothing. @Chmona....you're not even married, you're 23F.

I'm in a county where you have to file electronically. I'm not able to do that. I was wondering if there are certain conditions in which they'll let me file in paper?

My husband and his family are pretty close even though we live in Tennessee and they live in Minnesota. So we only see them a few times a year. He talks to his dad every day, his brother 4 or 5 times a week, and his mom 3 or 4 times a week. I found out the other day his brothers and their wives are coming to visit us on Friday for another Thanksgiving. I find it annoying because the whole reason we moved was to get away from them and now they want to come down and visit. I told my husband i don't like it because we will lose all our peace and quiet. I really wanted to spend Thanksgiving with just my husband. My family dosen't visit us, and neither should his. How do I tell my husband i don't want his family to visit us anymire

So today a Muslim women said she will kill me if i don't listen to her. She works at the same company that i work at. I barely know her. She is not my supervisor and she is telling me what to do at work. When she said that she will kill me she sounded like she wasn't not joking at all. Her son is in prison because he wanted to blow up a group of people in Portland Downtown few years ago but he was stopped by FBI. She tried to kill her husband. Now this Crazy Muslim women is saying she will kill me if i don't listen to her. What do you do in this kinda situation.

Ok I know this sounds weird but everytime my husband farts it has that rotten egg and feces smell to it. He tries to be funny and blame it on the dog, but we all know it's him. However, lately his farts have smelled unlike I have ever smelled before, kinda like spicy mexican food. He also came home from work an hour later every day last week. Do you think he's cheating on me?

My husband hasn t slept with me in 3 months but watches porn and I caught him on Craigslist casual encounters im 16 weeks pregnant and I m 5 seconds from leaving, I mean I m pregnant I work 3 jobs as opposed to his 1 and I m not to tired or too stressed or blah blah, I found out a few months ago he cross dresses idk if that has anything to do with it but I feel lonely unattractive and unwanted we ve been married 3 years

Every week on here , women are mad cus they won't leave their wife for these nasty skanks. Lol really ? So sad , why can't you find a single man ? You don't care you are ruining a family sick

It's like I am seeing him in a different light for some reason. We have a 4 yr old son, and yesterday my husband and his brother were playing with my son outside. They bought this huge inflatable ball, and my husband kicked it at my son, hit him in the face, and it made my son flip over....like really? How stupid do you have to be to think a 4 yr old would be able to catch it or kick it back! There is more to it than that! This is just an example of his stupidity.

I hope I asm accurate in what I bring up. However, how do you know whether has your wife cheated on you in this way? I have a friend who seems to be leading a decent life with a nice wife who seemed not able of doing anything wrong. However, one day he came to work looking highly dejected. Because of this, a few of us invited him to the pub to calm him down and there he started to tell his sad story. It had seemed unknown to him, his wife, under the instruction of her boss, has been proving sexual services to her boss's clients. Her boss was the CEO of some large coporation and he has clients that has multi billion dollar contracts with him. Because of his need to secure those multi billion dollar dealings, it is not uncommon for him to offer giris to his clients to wet his clients' appetite. Many of the girls are also his own employers. Because of this, failure to comply to his demands will result in instant termination of work or somehow cold storaged. Unknown to my friend, his wife also become involved in this when she got employment in her boss's company. However, in return for her services, she will receive a 3 month's bonus for that month. Naturally my friend was devastated. He never expected his wife to cheat him in this way. Yet, she couldn't be blamed as there was not much of a choice for her. So what could my friend had done?

I ve been married for about 5 months and I am right now in my mom s house because last night we had a major fight. He told me that I wasn t good enough to be a wife. That I wasn t worth anything. Of course I m not gonna play victim. I said some hurtful things too. In the time we ve been married I ve had our house clean. We don t have a washing machine but I pack a suitcase two times a week to come wash at my moms house. I didn t know how to cook before getting married but i ve tried to do my best to cook meals. I have everything in order. I pick up after him. I wash the dishes. And do all the work that has to be done around the house because I dont have a job. He works and pays rent. But everytime we fight he says I don t do anything. That he pays rent and that he does more work. It really hurts me the most when he rubs that in my face, i hate it and now I don t know what to do.

My parents have officially split up but have not filed for a divorce, I am 18 and my little sister is 14 and we moved out with one of our parents. My parents are going to file for a divorce but is it possible the 14 y/o can move out and get the parent we are living with in trouble with the court?

I'm disgusted with her, my Mom invited all her friends over to house for Thanksgiving and for me to tell everyone we are engaged. but this b*tch gf of mine wont say yes at this time, why? do girls do this?

My husband was in the Army for 4 yrs & the entire time at one post(in hawaii)& he also deployed for a yr. Within that yr I went home 2x to visit. So when we moved back 2 yrs ago It didnt bother me to go to his family at Thxgiving bc I felt that he needed/deserved a few of holidays bc of his sacrifice and all but now that its been 2 yrs I feel its time to start sharing holidays. He thinks bc hes in school full time that he should be able to go and spend time with his family that school takes away. I work full time while he goes to school so I see my family just as little, so I dont rlly see the argument there. But he decided that he would go to his side and I could go to mine and that would make it all good, but I feel like we should be a unit & he should give a little too. I tried to compromise & say "let's go have lunch & a visit with my family since im already on the books to bring food, then we can leave a little early & go to his sides to have afternoon dessert and probably dinner considering we all usually hang around til dinner anyways." But he still is wanting to just go & spend the whole time with his side(which I totally get)If I had the choice I choose to spend every holiday with my side but since I'm married & love my husband I sacrifice & share since we are a "unit" Sorry this is so long but I just rlly don't know what to say anymore to try to get him to see my side. I feel like I'm talking till im blue in the face and get nowhere? Any advice? Thanks in advance!

My ex wife and I have been together for 6 yrs. we recently divorced last month and I moved out last week. What I did was t right and no I didn t cheat, abuse or anything. I was caught flirting on facebook, just a friendly back and forth in which I admitted I was wrong. Now throughout those 6yrs I ve supported her and helped raise her 2 children. When the paperwork was in process she was constantly on the phone or running outside to talk on the phone which led me to believe she was talking to other guys. When I asked her about it she said no she wasn t on the phone with other guys so I left it alone. Now just last night she texted me saying I m messed up because she s about to lose everything and how she never planned for our divorce to end up like this. Now for a whole month I was heartbroking and she would tell me we are not together anymore move on so I did. I feel guilty now because she s has been dependent on me and now she know longer has that help. i hope this really makes sense, but I ve moved on and met someone we are not together yet and we have put sex off until we really get to know eachother. Should I feel sorry for my ex?

Yes, this is serious question. We have paperwork proving this is fully legitimate according to state law. The relationship originated on the line and have met in person several times until marriage last year . Her carer is temporarily in charge of her finances and well-being as a co-owner of a biotechnology company, meeting the required income. She is very smart and loving. Is this possible? Thank you in advanced!

I recently discovered my husband has been talking to this girl on facebook. I knew he had deleted messages from her and called and had conversations with her for 30 minutes or more. When i confronted him about it, he claimed she was just a friend and he needed someone to vent to. First of all, i don't buy that. Ive never heard of her and why is a 35 yo married man friends with a 21 yo single girl? But, lets just say what he says is the truth. He doesnt seem to think theres any problem with it and that im overreacting. How would you feel about this?

Cut his hair for him? I want to cut my hair really short, and possibly shave my head bald. I'd like my wife to do it, but I don't want her to think I'm weird for asking. Has your husband ever asked you to do this for him? Did you think it was weird? Was it fun? How should I go about asking her? Thanks

I got married more than 2 yrs and have a beautiful daughter. Since after married, my wife changed to a different person and smothering me on everything. She listened to everything from her mom and sister. Everytime we fought, she punished me by not letting me see my daughter (I work far from home only be home on weekend), or she will go to her mother's house with the baby. She took all the money I made and gave me a small allowance - i made more money than her. She keep checking & reading my phone and ask about every text or every friend I have. There are more but it might take me a day or 2 to list it out. The main point is that I am on the edge and want to break free but I am scared that she will take my daughter away from me. MY daughter is my whole life right now, and she is the only reason I still stay in this marriage. I really don't know what to do. Should I stay to take all the **** from her to raise my baby? Or leave with the change that she will take the baby and I can't see my baby (she always say she has the right to keep the baby because she is the mother and she can ask the court to order me not to see my daughter, is it true ? ) ? I really need some professional opinions and advice. Going to marry counseling will make situation worse.

I got married last year at city hall due to budget restrictions I couldn t afford to have a huge wedding with my huge family. I want to celebrate my 2 year anniversary on a private yacht with food drinks and music and invite my entire family and my husbands family since we couldn t do it last year. I know celebrating 2 years is not formal and idk if this would seem tacky. Opinions?

I need help. I've only recently realized I was wrong. Started arguments, didn't treat her well, put my mom and brothers over her. She moved out of state and from what it seems on facebook has a successful career. How do I tell her I was wrong and want to start over?

The spouse and I had a fight, a big verbal one. She started crying and her parents live with us. Later that night her mother (my in-law) said we aren t happy and should get a divorce. I feel it was not her place to say that, not respectful of our life we created. My wife says because her asian culture is less prone to privacy it is ok for her to say that. My parents have always been supporting, and never played favorites, if we fought and they disagreed with me they told me to knock it off and grow up. So she said to ask others if I was the only one who felt that she crossed a line.

Long story short the guy I was engaged to walked out on me because we have been fighting constantly we were together over a year I pushed him away with the fighting, he told me he needed time its been almost a week and he hasn't spoken to me I told him before please at least call me I can't eat sleep or think but he still hasn't. We have a 7 month old baby and we lived together he hasn't even called to check on the baby (which I'm really upset mad and hurt about) why take it out on her? I feel like he doesn't even care about her. I'm currently pregnant with our second baby too. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and his mother called me yesterday saying he's going to come and get all his stuff from the apartment today, its getting worse I thought he'd want to talk again or make things right since its a holiday but I was dead wrong. I can't even function now and don't know what to do I know he says he needs space and time but I think its truly over since he's getting his stuff out the day before Thanksgiving. I haven't spoken to him in days should I try sending him a text or should I just leave him alone? I also know what he's going to say if I tell him I'm sorry and I'll try etc. He's gonna say he's heard it all before....

I'm not here to be judged. We all get into different situations in life. Ok I've been having issues with my marriage, had many chats with my husband, he knows he needs to make a change, but its been 4 years there's nothing changed. I'm thinking of leaving him soon, but obviously will do it in the right way. My ex and I were in super intense love type relationship. I got married to my current husband after split up with him, but I know I always have a special spot for him deep inside. We recently talked a lot in a respectful way. We both feel it's a shame we didn't get together in the end, I still have a strong feeling for him, now I want to leave my husband, is it ok for me to express my feeling to my ex? Or I should wait till I sort out everything with my husband. Not here to get judged, it's just another life situation, and I want to be real about it.Thanks

Only been married 2 months and he's always gaming and never tries to make me happy anymore... Divorce scares me because we have so many debts together. Marriage counseling I've considered but we always fight so much we can't agree on actually making a date to go... Help?.... He's 21 and I'm 18... I don't want to get stuck further in a trap I'm not ready for. I honestly guess I know nothing about love. I thought I was happy at first.

Been married for 2 months. He cheated on me in the past when we were younger and I forgave him.... But then I figured out the cheating was h aving sex with his boss from a friend of his. We fight a lot now.... We never agree on anything and have nothing in common it seems like since I figured it out. It's completely destroyed how I feel about him. And I don't bring it up to him because it was literally like a year ago. What should I do? Just divorce or marriage counseling? I'm so unhappy and I don't think I love him anymore.

I've been legally married to my estranged husband for 15 years, and we have 5 children together. I filed for a divorce earlier this year, because my estranged husband has been having an affair. He also gave me HPV-16 (cancer causing strain), and an STD. Just before I gave birth to our eldest son, I quit my job as a Registered Dietitian to be a SAHM. About 3 months after I quit my job, I opened a full-time daycare in our home. I'm the one who did all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, childcare etc. My estranged husband never did any of those things, because I was a homemaker. My estranged husband was the primary financial provider for our family. Now that were going through a divorce, my estranged husband feels that I don't deserve half of the marital assets, because I didn't contribute equally to our household income. My estranged husband wants to keep all of the marital assets for himself. Doesn't all of the work I did, plus my daycare more than makeup my fair share? My estranged husband says no, and he's wrong. I'm not going to give up what is rightfully mine. Why should I give up my half of the marital assets?

When I met my wife she was my ideal type. She had brunette and had a curvy body. Two years after marriage she dropped 4 seizes with dieting an smoothies, she went from brunette to bleach blond. I can't even recognize her anymore. Why can't they just stick with their original appearance?! I know that we can't control age, but we shouldn't change things that we have control over.

I know that I m not necessarily required to change my name right away, or ever really, but I also know that it s easier if you do it all at once. The problem of course is that I don t have enough time to change my name and then get the passport in the right name. I just want to wait until september to change it. Will it be any extra work? Any extra fees? Or is it the same as if I do it right away? Do I still sign the certificate with his last name if I m waiting? We live in Washington State if that makes a difference.

So I know this woman who went to college and got a bachelor's degree. Despite having a degree, she's never had a job and is now a stay-at-home mom. I feel like I might want to do that. But the thing is, I feel like I would have so much debt that my husband would have to pay off.

My wife is going nuts! I'm kinda at fault. She recently rejoined as a sales consultant for Mary Kay, she had quit when our son was born (she had started when our daughter was born to supplement her income). Two babies and a regular full time job was more than enough that time. Now the kids are bigger, she's rejoined after the debacle with my sis-in-law. Several months ago she gave my sis-in-law all her supplies and consultant stuff. Now she's bought herself a more expensive rolling consultant case for inventory, brochures and samples to carry everywhere, rather than create more problems with my sis-in-law. I think she's overdoing it a bit. I believe she should wait to see how things go before spending a ton on supplies and inventory items. But how can I tell her to slow down a bit? She's already still POed over the issue that my sis-in-law created. She was just using an old messenger bag she got in college. It's small but has served the purpose so far. I can't understand why she felt she needed to spend so much on a bag. She says it's better bc now she won't have a ton of boxes lying around and especially if my brother comes over with my sis-in-law (I don't think we should tell her just yet that my wife is selling herself again). Am I being paranoid? Should I just let her run things how she wants? We have a decent enough income between the two of us. Our bills are always paid, there's always food on the table and a roof over our heads. But part of me thinks she is doing this (buying non-necessity supplies) to spite me. Yes, I kinda forced her to join with my sis-in-law, which didn't work out. My wife ended up doing all the work and my sis-in-law expected all the profits. Neither one of them could reach an agreement, so my wife decided to just do it on her own.