Family: Question: Am I wrong for doing this ?

Question: Am I wrong for doing this ?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 12:24 PM PDT

A month ago I went for a night out with my cousin and her boyfriend. The place we stayed at was similar to a hostel.. there was a shared bathroom but we had our own room for the 3 of us. I discreetly changed in the corner of the room to a new outfit while they were talking. I was facing the wall and never exposed myself, they may have seen my underwear but nothing else. Fast forward to yesterday.. my cousin and her bf came over for a family gathering and my mother pulled me aside because my cousin had told her mother who then told her father that I changed in front of her boyfriend and that it was disrespectful. Do you think this is something I did wrong? Should I confront my cousin? I'm a very shy person I would never intentionally change right in front of someone where they can see me nude.

Question: How do I get over my phobia when around this one uncle of mine?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 11:58 AM PDT

Question: Was my uncle possessed ?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 11:27 AM PDT

Last week I got a phone call from my uncle around 1 am. He was crying on the phone and said he was at my fathers grave, I was shocked that he was so late at night at the cemetery and told him to go home but he refused. So I decided to go there with mom cause we couldnt leave him alone there so late in that condition. When we arrived there we saw him laying on my fathers grave, crying cause he miss him so much as they were close brothers. Mom and I tried to pull him away and take him home with us but he constantly refused, then after few minutes he started shaking so badly like he had a seizure, mom and I panicked and watched in shock. After few seconds of shaking he laid still and didnt move, we called him few times but no response. After few minutes he jumped up and grabbed my mother by her coat and yelled in her face "Take care of my child! Do you understand? Take care of my child!" He stared at her with big eyes and seemed angry. Mom and I freaked out and calmed him down, after that he felt again on the ground and came back to consciousness a minute later. We drove him back home all shaken up and when we told him about it the next day he said he could remember being at the cemetery with us but not about the yelling part.That creeped mom and me out and we became suspicious.The odd thing is he doesnt have any children, could this have been my fathers spirit entering through him and warning my mother cause she has been suicidal since he died.My uncle wasnt drunk nor on drugs.

Question: Does my Mom's alcoholic family situation make my Mom toxic? Please read below and reply?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 10:14 AM PDT

My Mom's father was an alcoholic and she was mad that some of her family kept it a secret. Now she covers up for her brother whose alcoholic. My question is does this make my mother a very dysfunctional and toxic person? She also was VERY bitter towards her father and banned me from him until I was a teen and I fought to be able to get close. Yet, her brother she likes.

Question: Dad and Mom are getting divorced and I am really mad at them both for it. How do I forgive them or should I not?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 10:07 AM PDT

Question: Do some parents  regret having children ?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 10:00 AM PDT

I think my mum wishes she hadn't had me, she has said several times to me not to bother having children as it's not all it's cracked up to be. She complains there's no money and tells me to get a job (I'm 13 just) and she never seems happy or wants to spend time with me, shes never hugged or kissed me or given me any kind words.  I feel like she had me to get out of working as she hated her basic shop assistant job before having us and she didn't have any qualifications or drive to do anything else, she hasn't worked outside the home since my older sister was born so over 16 years now, she has a drawer of sweets and chocolate in her bedroom which we don't get any of and we are never given any treats, just shouted at.  my poor dad works long hours every day to put food on the table. I hardly see him.Do people really have kids just for the sake of it? 

Question: Is it bad to never do anything as a family ?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 09:37 AM PDT

Everyone in my class goes on holidays, weekends away and days out with their families, I never do anything with mine.  My dad is self employed and at work all the time, I hardly see him, my mum is a housewife and doesn't have a job outside the home, she doesn't drive and we only have one car so I'm stuck at home all day every day and never allowed to socialise or go anywhere, my mum always complains we have no money.  I have an older sister who is constantly mean to me and the rest of the time she's shut away in her room studying. I get all her hand me downs and get picked on at school for being practically dressed in rags. I have hardly any friends as I'm not cool or allowed to do anything. I honestly don't know why I'm here, my mum doesn't spend time with me and I have no fun in my life. I never get birthday or Christmas presents and never complain about it because I know it won't change a thing.  Am I alone in this world? I certainly feel it. 

Question: Is it normal in an alcoholic parent-child relationship that the child is the one who takes over the role of being the parent?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 09:34 AM PDT

I had a grandfather-grandson alcoholic relationship and I was more the grandfather figure and he the grandson who sometimes reciprocated. I am proud of myself though for doing this when he was alive. Is this normal in an alcoholic family?

Question: How do we get my sister to break her narcissistic patterns?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 09:29 AM PDT

Question: Did I say the wrong thing?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 08:57 AM PDT

I have two daughters one is 12 and the other 9, my eldest daughter is above average and now goes to a grammar school but my youngest still at primary school is an average child. She has already not been accepted to the same school as her sister as her exam was a fail.   I was saying to her how her older sister is cleverer than her and she needs to try harder. She's since stopped reading and doing her homework as well and I can see a huge slip in her work, I was trying to encourage her to aim better like her older sister but when I said to her the other day she's not trying hard enough she started to say "what's the point" and "I will never be as clever as Rosie will I?" I didn't know what to say back to her and just gave her a look, I've been mulling it over and think I shouldn't of said what I said, what can I do to improve her schoolwork? 

Question: Should I file for custody or leave well enough alone?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 08:44 AM PDT

My ex-wife is vegan and has full custody of our 2 kids. She has always allowed me to visit them as long as I respect and support "their" lifestyle. She literally interrogates the kids to check if I violated that rule. Which I dont. My older (6) recently started indicating that he wasnt a fan of the vegan life and wishes that he could eat all the "normal stuff" that his friends eat. I told my wife and she argued that he's to young to know what's best for his body and that is was our job as parents to teach him.  I try to be as respectful as I can and only eat vegan food around them to avoid them feeling odd. I want them to be able to enjoy the simple food items they want but dont want to jeopardize my ability to see them.  I've considered filling for shared custody but am worried what that could mean for them with us at such dramatic odds. Their mom would forever hate me and possibly make mine and their lives more difficult. The only way I think I'd get full custody is if what she's doing is consider abuse. A stretch but idk.

Question: Is this common/weird/dangerous?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 08:13 AM PDT

My siblings and I were recently discussing weird things about our childhood and my sister brought up instances where myself and my brother were constipated and she had a remedy when she put soap up our bums. Its embarrassing but my mom swears it's a legitimate thing. I only remember the last time she did it (I was like 5 or 6), but she said she used to do it all the time.  She said it was always a specific brown soap (Pears).  Just curious if there's any validity to it, even if it worked, wouldnt it be considered dangerous.

Question: Am I really overreacting?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 07:41 AM PDT

Am I overreacting? ok so my boyfriend was telling me about how his cousin said I was pretty and I look better then his ex girlfriend and he said he told her there will be no comparisons between us and he was telling me I look ok I'm not all that or whatever even though he said he was joking, but I got mad and annoyed because I felt like he tried to make me feel uncomfortable over The situation by saying no comparing even though I'm not trying to be compared to her but I felt like he was trying to down play me in the situation so he can't say I looked better then her..?

Question: Can a person consent to rape?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 07:32 AM PDT

Long story short: After watching a tv show, my husband and I were recently inspired to explore sex with a 3rd participant. Just like in the show, we posted an ad on a dating site and found a guy we liked.  When he came the 1st time he admitted to being younger than he initially let on (but still legal) but that wasnt the issue. He "needed" (his words) to get high b4 we did anything. Again, considering the age we're in, we kinda overlooked it. The trouble was he kept saying that if he passed out it was fine, not to worry abt and just to have fun. That was weird but turned out to be a non-issue. The 2nd time though, 2 nights ago, we decided to have him over for round 2. He kept repeating it again and ended up actually passing out for a while. I decided to stop then and there but my husband did not and, insisted that he gave consent for us to continue. We agreed not to invite him again but we've still been at odds about it. He thinks I copped out and abandoned our agreement and I think he essentially raped the kid.  He hasnt cried rape or anything, but the simple fact that my husband had it in him to do what he did makes me look at him differently. I cant help it. I may be over thinking it but I dont see how an unconscious people could be considered to have give consent. As if we could've done any/everything and it been ok. Dumb on his part to say "if I pass out..." but doesnt make it alright in my opinion.

Question: Does this make me a very sick guy?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 07:24 AM PDT

I am a high school guy with a step mom who is just 6 years older than I am. Dad married a much younger woman. I really like my step mom. I think she is the greatest. To say she is beautiful is an understatement. She is gorgeous. I guess dad likes young beautiful women. When my buddies come to hang out with me they always tell me how beautiful, hot, and sexy my mom is. I tell them I know she is beautiful but she is NOT hot and sexy. Off hand one day I told her with her great looks, she could be model. She told me she was a model before she married my dad. She asked if I wanted to see her pictures when she was a model? Of course I said yes. She showed me her photo album and it turns out she was a lingerie model. In some of the pictures she had very little clothes on. It took ALL of my will power NOT to get a b0ner looking at these pictures. I can only guess how mad my dad would be if I got a b0ner for his wife. Lucky for me I didn't. Does this make me a VERY SICK guy?

Question: My mother’s uncle was a racist. His brother in law is black. Might this change someone’s race views?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 06:08 AM PDT

Question: How do I reveal to everyone this week my sister’s past sins of character?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 06:08 AM PDT

Question: Is it illegal to film your own mom in the shower via a hidden camera?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 05:30 AM PDT

Also if it is, I am 12 right now, so can/will she sue me if I upload the video somewhere and she finds it?   Edit: My dad is sadly not in the picture so I am the only person she can catch. But i'll make sure she won't find the camera. Also the person I'm giving the video tape to is trustworthy enough to upload it to some site where there is low chance that she will visit.

Question: Since my Dad lies so often to me should I never believe the chronic liar again and while I respect him is it okay to dislike him?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 05:04 AM PDT

He also betrayed his elders and caused generational trauma to me.

Question: How do I handle living in a toxic environment with my parents as a teenager?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 04:05 AM PDT

Im 16 years old and come from a christian background and have lived in a toxic environment with my parents for all of my life now.My father curses me out,and when I tell my mom about,she dosnt care.I feel like I am being disrespected but whenever I speak up about it,I am shut down and cant get my words out.It is either their way,or the wrong way.I am always being blamed for his bad behaviour and bad things that happen to me and they never take any responsibility.They have threatened to kick me out of the house numerous times now and see me as "disrespectful".I also distance myself because I hate being around my parents,but when I need time and space to myself,they say that I am not showing common courtesy and they dont respect my boundaries.They act like I m supposed to act like nothing happened. I am not even allowed to go out with my friends, every time I want to go out , it is always with them and I don t have much of a social life. I m not in a gang,or do drugs,I have not committed any crimes,and get good grades but thats how they are treating me.I feel trapped because,I dont want to be disrespected,but I dont want them to kick me out of the house what should I do? I never said I don t appreciate them, or loved them but they always start talking about how much they have sacrificed for me, and that s not the problem please help I need it really badly. Sorry for typing out so much I m just in desperate need of help,thank you so much

Question: Are these relatives bad?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 02:55 AM PDT

I do a few relatives who say that I'm not good at anything and i have a lot of bad traits because of which i cant succeed in my life.They say that I'm a good for nothing looser. I just meet these people once in a year.We live in different cities.These relatives think they know me very well but i don't think do they do. I don't agree with the things they say about me.I am actually good at many things.I am academically decent enough,i am good at extra curricular activities like speaking,writing,quiz competitions and stuff.The teachers in school say that I'm a very good student and they see me doing great in life. When i tell this to my relatives they refuse to believe me and argue with me trying to prove their point and tell me how bad i am....and they continue to talking down to me.....every chance they get.

Question: Poor me I hate having siblings?

Posted: 28 Oct 2019 02:53 AM PDT

It doesn't bother me that they exist it bothers me that they are my siblings It gets me angry that are related to me it gets me angry that they are siblings f*ck life

Question: Does it make me a bad son?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 11:28 PM PDT

My dad abuses me verbally and physically. He used to do it ever since i was young. I never had the courage to retaliate for years. I eventually did get the courage and hit my dad.Ive hit him a few times now.Now whenever he tries to abuse me i retaliate with bad language. This does make me feel guilty.A son isn't supposed to hit his dad or use bad language.My dad says that I'm a bad son and he is unfortunate to have me and he wishes me dead. Do you think I'm a bad son?

Question: What do i do about him?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 10:40 PM PDT

I have a son who is flunking in school and good at nothing. I've cursed him verbally and beat him up many times.But he doesn't improve at all. At one point he even hit me back.He punched in the face and broke my nose.Everytime i try to punish him he retorts back and verbally abuses me and uses a lot of bad language.I am his father i can use bad language i can hit him.......but he cannot.He is financially dependent on me so i have the right to treat him that way but he doesn't have to right to do the same to me. Everytime i try to punish him or my mom(his grandmom) tries to punish him he verbally abuses us and says horrible things to us. It feels terrible he is my son and i couldn't even control him. How do i get him back into my control?How do i stop him from abusing us?

Question: Dad beat me for having a period (tmi)?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 10:28 PM PDT

I'm 14 and I live with my dad and younger brother. My mom passed away when I was 5 and my dad is verbally and physically abusive. He won't buy me any hygiene products and won't let me buy them myself. I'm homeschooled but he doesn't really make me do anything and I'm not allowed to have friends or go anywhere. I have to use whatever I can find like cut up towels or toilet paper and it obviously isn't effective. I accidentally leaked on my sheets and I was trying to wash them before my dad found out but he saw and started hitting me. I have tried to get help but he lies to everyone saying he is providing for me and says he never hit me. What should I do?

Question: I raised a failure of a son. How do I fix him?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 10:04 PM PDT

My son will be 26 in December. He moved back in with me recently, because he wasnt getting along with his roommate. He just sits in his room all day staring at his phone. He works part time, because he had anxiety, and says he plans on getting full time job once he stays at this one for a while to build his resume. He goes weeks without brushing his teeth. He wears the same clothes for weeks on end. He never does his laundry. He never NEVER eats anything healthy. I try to cook healthy things for him, but hed rather eat his ramen noodles, but im not gonna argue with him. He will go a couple of days working around the house, but then he reverts back to his own ways. I try to encourage him to go take some classes at the college, but hed rather just sit on his phone all day. That's literally all he does. He doesnt even get up to play video games anymore. I know I've raised a failure of a son, but I'm not sure what else to to.

Question: Should I feel guilty for having this relationship with my mother or accept that it happened and move on?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 09:21 PM PDT

My mother raised me along with my two sisters. She as very stressed and so was I. This caused our relationship to be very toxic. We argued everyday, literally. It's so wrong and sad to have this mindset, but I disliked everything about her. I Never said I love you. Ever. I worked in high school and ignored the fact that my mom was poor. Most adults can support their children financially, but she couldn't. I looked down on her for this. She worked off and on. she would end up quitting because of other employees. Bought myself a car, fast food all the time, always had an IPhone, all things she couldn't afford. I never bought her anything. On her last birthday I got her nothing. This was because of how bad our relationship was. We needed to be seperated. The arguments weren't started by me, at least by how I remember it. She doesn't get along with much of the rest of her family, has a low amount of friends because she argues with a lot of other people too.  After moving out for good (I'm a sophomore in college with an apartment. Dorms last year so I had to live with her in the summer)I have improved myself a lot. For the passed 3 months I ignored her as much as I could so I could step back and think about our problems. Now I am thinking that I was wrong for not helping her and being a better son. I feel like I was holding her back. But the relationship was also holding me back. I have had to do a lot of thinking to get to where I am. I also am where I am from working hard.

Question: Would you be exited if your daughter was pregnant ?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 09:08 PM PDT

23. Haven't told anyone except the dad. He wants to move in with me. He's 20

Question: Is it wrong I hate my dad?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 08:01 PM PDT

I hate him because he can't take anything seriously and makes a joke of everything even serious things and he laughs when I tell him my problems. He says he should everything about my life because I am his child. He basically says I shouldn't have boundaries or privacy. When ever I share an interest of mine with him he bashes it or brings something political into it. He won't admit when he is wrong and he yells about everything and he calls us names and doesn't care about my feelings and doesn't respect house rules such as no drinking out of milk carton and no eating food that is not yours. He acts nice and I think that oh ok I'll give him another chance but then he gets really mean. He complains or yells because we won't do or grab something for him when he can get it himself. One time I was almost having a panic attack and he didn't seem to care at all. He complains when my mom buys anything. ANYTHING. she says it's for us kids to eat coz we need to eat obviously but he complains that she spent money. Honestly he makes me feel like there is no hope for men when there is and it makes me scared that all men are like that when they obviously aren't.  I just can't wait till I can move out. I told him that too and he said good. Honestly I hate him but I'm scared it's wrong to hate him.

Question: My mother and sister constantly belittle me, calling me ditzy. What should I do? I’ve tried talking about it to them but I’m just sensitive.?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 07:32 PM PDT

I love them and they're my family but I can't rake the constant insults. These insults include digs on my intelligence, my appearance and my boyfriend 

Question: Am I being mentally abused?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 07:11 PM PDT

My father would always try his best and treat me well, but overtime it seems like hes grown to not care about me or my well being. Just today I asked him a simple question on if I could not take my siblings to school tomorrow because I want a morning to myself and he said yes. Then he changing his mind and I tell him that all I want is a morning to myself. Then he starts yelling at me and calling me a brat and that I don't want to take them because of him. I then tell him that's not the reason and he keeps yelling and time goes on. Then we go outside and he says hes taking away my car, which I payed for, and I asked why. He called me a ***** and a brat. He tells me that im the problem. That I need to change myself. He smashed my tv, which I also payed for, and tells me hes gonna either slash my tires of take the battery out so I cant drive my car. He continues to yell and I try to talk to him but he wont listen. This is just one of many occasions of what he does to me. He treats me differently then the other kids in the house and I just don't know what to do anymore. He messes with me head all the time. Talking bad about my mom and stuff and tells me im just like her. I just need help.

Question: Why do people yell at sports on the TV as if the players can hear them?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 07:00 PM PDT

Like they yell at the TV and tell the players to do things as if the players could hear them. It's really weird and unnerving.

Question: Should i move back home to my parents?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 04:53 PM PDT

hello i am a 16 year old girl and i currently live away from my parents. i attend school in a different town so i live in a dorm an hour away from my parents. i love my parents with all my heart and often cry myself to sleep when i'm not home with them. do you think i'm too young to be living away from my parents and should i move back in with them and switch schools or should i keep trying? please help. thank you.

Question: How to discipline this special child?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 04:43 PM PDT

He hits his mother while driving putting everyone in the car at risk! And just never does anything he is supposed too.  Wont stay buckled either.  This kid throws chairs at other special ED students, he runs away and never obeys. He is super defiant. He took his brother birthday RC car remote and threw it in the mud after his little brother was nice enough to let him use it. He gets markers and draws on the walls.  He does everything someone should not do and it never ends. Every night when its bath time he hits his mother and just makes it so unpleasant to be around. I am starting to despise him as well. No punishment ever works on him. I am not his real father and cant spank his *** with the belt ,unless his mother will ask me too.  His real father wont ever discipline him, he just feeds into his bullshit. He is a worthless alcoholic ,abusive POS.  Always looking for excuses to not have to take his kids when it's his turn. His AC has broke 4 times in 1 month (when its conveniently time to get his kids) He would rather buy cigarettes and booze than pay child support or buy his kids a Halloween costume. I genuinely despise this guy in every way. But I am getting off track here.  I wanted to throw out some background information.  Please... what can we do? Spanking does work, asking nicely doesnt work, I can really take his things away bcuz his mother eventually just gives in when she gets over her frustrations. 

Question: Don’t Americans hit their child?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 04:19 PM PDT

I mean don't Canadians or US people abuse their children like by hitting their kids' legs by stick with full swing or extremely yelling at their face being ready to hit or throwing something right after the kids make the father irritated? Adults don't have right to hit the kids? And no yelling? I'm in a developed country and it's really different from where I was from so I'm having enormous confusion to getting used to. I hope someone to explain to me how they treat the young people. I'm having trouble in how to act in front of Adults. 

Question: How do I tell my 4yr old daughter that the dad she thought was here dad isnot her dad?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 04:06 PM PDT

Question: Why do i want daddy issues help me get rid of this plEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 03:59 PM PDT

alright yes i know it sounds unbelievably stupid and ridiculous for me to ask this okay have an absent father is terrible and i'm trying to figure out why i want to have daddy issues you can call me stupid trust me i know i want to throw myself off a cliff everytime i think about it a while ago i started crushing on this guy who has daddy issues. i'm also into bdsm and i have a daddy kink and everytime i look at things regarding being little and called princess they bring in daddy issues like lyrics from the song daddy issues by the neighborhood (which ive never listened to) and it makes girls with daddy issues seem so special they get so much attention and so many find them hot  ive never had these thoughts before meeting him so i think maybe i should just avoid him? because he makes me want to have daddy issues? it also seems like a comforting aspect?people comfort people who have daddy issues and i havent been comforted for any of my problems since i was maybe 7? so maybe i should try and get comfort? my mom isn't super comforting (shes actually pretty scary and getting comfort from her seems impossible) so pls help me how do i get over this want for daddy issues i know its stupid to want it thats why i want to get rid of the want for it note: my dad and i werent close when i was younger (idk we just were kind of disconnected and not super close, again my mom back then still super scary) until i turned 14 we started getting closer so i dont rlly have daddy issues 

Question: What will happen if i go to canada and my parents try to call my phone???

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 03:11 PM PDT

so im trying to go to canada from the U.S. without my parents knowing.. im worried they might call me and will say that im in a diff country or show up on the phone bill......? what do i do if they do want to call me? i cant say that my phone broke because i recently changed it.. what will happen if i call or if i answer? anyway im 20 and my parents wont let me travel with my friends so im just trying to secretly go.. it is verizon

Question: My mom left me for dead in a trashcan when I was two months old on Christmas day. Should I try to find her now that I’m 21?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 02:58 PM PDT

Question: Im in love with a family friend is this wrong?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 02:41 PM PDT

I was found as a kid I have no memory of my life I was discovered by the CPS after an anonymous tip led them to where we were all held against our will. It's been 14 years and I still have no clue who I am. I was adopted by a nice woman who had a daughter. I was taught the piano, Russian, how to cook. My adopted sister who is my age minus a few months 25 I'm 26. We spent Thanksgiving together with our mom and other family and friends. We hooked up we've always had chemistry she and I and I'm not sure what do. We stayed up watching Netflix drinking and smoking pot. It just happened and now we are dating eachother. How am I supposed to proceed with this? We love each other but am I doing something wrong? How do I tell my mom about this? My adopted mom said she's happier since she's been seeing this mystery guy and wants to meet him. . But I've known her since I was 11 or 12. We took vacations together studied together. The elderly man who adopted me knew me because I was looking at different religions and I went to synagogue. The only thing left from my life before I was found but I was wearing a Star of David, the elderly man felt bad that I lived in an orphanage. He took me in and I helped him around his Apartment. The woman who took me in after he died was his daughter. It's a complicated situation and I don't want to lose everyone I love again.

Question: No **** that ****?

Posted: 27 Oct 2019 02:19 PM PDT

I know for a ******* fact if that was your son with a girl, you would of humiliated him by kicking the door and pull off the blanket and exposing them both.. you ******* kidding me your remorseful of a girl then realizing the difference between the gender. I would of humiliated my son and daughter if I heard that. I'm no dam different between the lines of my remorse of any dam gender both will get embarrassed, go ahead and get your parents 😂good luck explaining this to them. Don't ******* do it period until your old enough and out the dam house. Not going to listen to that **** and let it go by. Hell no. Reading this is pissing me off. Yeah have a sit down and talk about it so that they know it's completely wrong and it's supposed to be a special moment between a married couple and only them. Period!