Hello. For the past 2 months almost, I have known that my boyfriend of years is in the process of joining the military, we decided I will stay here, and as soon as possible, we will have a wedding and get married. Then I would go with him, and continue with my education (as I am now). He will be leaving in about 6 months. I know that when he leaves, my family will have questions about what that means for our relationship. But if I tell them the truth, I am afraid my grandmother may actually have a heart attack, and the rest of my family will cause a huge dramatic scene, and resent me for the rest of my life. I have faith in my plans, and there is nothing that will stop me from doing this. My grandmother has actually made comments to me lately when talking about other people, that she would "DIE" if I moved even a state away, and about how getting married will basically ruin your life (probably because every woman in my family has married a toxic man, stayed with it, and called it "true love") There is NOTHING good for me here besides my family, and I want to make this choice for my life, but how will I reveal this heavy information to them?

I am being invited to go visit all family members all the time which sounds like great! They all live at least a day away and I have to drive, fly etc and spend the money. I would like them to come to visit me as well. Why are they not coming to visit me? I like seeing them but I am spending all my vacation time to visit them...

I've been struggling with depression for a little over a year now and ppl (friends and random people) keep suggesting I get help and that they're worried about me or whatever but I just cant bring myself to follow through. A friend gifted me with a few therapy sessions for my 18th birthday last year. I went and thought things were going ok (i changed up my diet, according to his recommendations and started using his techniques and things seemed fine) i started to open up and be more honest but suddenly he started talking about putting me on antidepressants, and other meds and kept pushing it. after that I stopped going. Idk, Ive always had an aversion to taking meds that I feel like mess with my head. Plus my family would start treating me differently and may even be angry as if I'm somehow accusing them of why I'm so screwed up, and how I should just suck it up and deal with life like everyone else. They haven't actually said these things straight up but I get the feelings that's how they see me sometimes whenever I talk about how bland I feel about life and how nothing is exciting or joyful anymore. I genuinely stopped caring about anything a long time ago. Anyways, I've been having some pretty dark thoughts lately that have me a little scared tbh but i admit I'm not man enough to go back to a therapist. I'm kinda at a loss and dont know what to do. I dont really want to reach out to friends or family bc I dont want them to see me broken or damaged, advice plz? 1 of the techniques that the dr suggested was that i get into some hobbies and keep busy. so i took up kayaking for a few weeks but most days it wasnt motivation enough to go out, or even get out of bed. I thought i was doing better with the immediate issues (insomnia & panic attacks) but he kept saying i was exhibiting signs of this and that. part of the issue, i think, is that i wasnt being completely honest with him from the beginning so as i opened it may may have seemed i was getting worst. I almost called the hotline recently but kinda scared myself out of it. I did call once and panicked so i hung up, when i realized what I was doing. I thought of reaching out to that friend but am a bit ashamed that he did what he did for me and i let it go to waste. and sometimes when i cut/burn or think of ending it, i dont really want to ask for help in case they talk me out of it or i make it harder for them if i get ahold of them and my mind is already made up.

i don't trust her or my father easily... whenever i talk to her a part of me thinks she is manipulating me and they're conspiring against me. however, another part of me is pointing the blame at me and screaming at me inside my head that it's my fault and i should just keep my mouth shut and do what they want and "be a good daughter and be silent and obedient like i used to be". i end up just staying silent and not saying "i'm sorry" or anything for reasons i don't understand myself. one might be i'm giving them the silent treatment, which would make me a horrible abusive person. the other might be that i'm too afraid to answer because i might say the wrong thing, or that i'm saying all i want to say internally through beating myself up but getting choked up when i try and speak. i have gotten into fights with my mother and father a lot as a child, and i was very afraid of my father as a young child. my mom has said that she feels like she always says the wrong thing around me, which is what makes me think i'm abusing her. i am honest with her, but now i'm doubting whether or not i'm too blunt with her. she'll ask me for critiques on her art, and she has told me i have a very good eye but i don't entirely believe her because i don't think my opinions are worth anything. my mom has self-esteem issues, and so do i, and sometimes she won't eat if she's "too stressed out" which sometimes has meant i need to go apologize to her for her to actually eat something.

i love incest so much it's frightening punishments from dad to daughter, son and mother, brother with mother and sister father making mom watch him and daughter it's....a bad problem please help

I rent a room at my grandmothers home for less than 500 but she's had my second cousin staying in the living room. He was suppose to only be here for a few weeks but it's been a year . He has messed up a lot of things I feel like he's destructive or just rough. I don't feel comfortable around him because of him touching me when I was ten and he was 15. He was also in jail for 12 yrs for taking the blame for a crime .

I don't feel comfortable with my 12 year old being in the same school as 18 year olds. Maybe it's just me but it seems like she isn't mature enough. No, the grades are not segregated. They can be next to each other in the locker rooms or during lunchtime. The only reason a school would split up the age groups is if the population is too high.

She put two right where the dogs always are outside, and one in the dirty hamper cabinet where towels and clothes go. They say KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC ANIMALS. I told my mom they say that so she shouldn't put them where the dogs are always at, literally just thrown on the patio not even in a corner or anything. And then she put one right into contact with linens and clothes! My mom has been mentally breaking down, but what really upsets me is being told I'm just OCD. She said I "shouldn't worry" about the roach traps being where the dogs will get them and that "it's fine". Is my mom becoming mentally unfit? When confronted that she IS WRONG she will jump to "Then I can't do it, I try my best and can't do anything else!" Even when told to do something better and more reasonable in the first place. Am I wrong? Or am I right?

Happened and I can't talk normally to her cause I feel this heavy weight inside of me everytime I have to smile, I confronted her that I am hurt abt what she said and all I need is a simple apology over what she said but she would change the subject or she would say okey tell your self that youre right even tho that's not what I mean, her reaction is what hurt me the most ! She raised me to never let anyone disrespect me but she deeeply insulted me as if I was trush to her , what do I do ? I feel vert heavyly inside and have the urge to cry

It wasn't exactly expensive but the highest I would pay for one (not English so converted 30~50$ range), coz I only planned to use when going to the gym a few times a month but never did, so I let my older brother borrowed it. A few days later he had to borrow an other one from my father because he damaged. Fortunately only the zipper. He also broke my mirror which I planned to give my parents which also costed a lot more. Since I didn't use these things, I didn't make a big deal of it, after-all it's just the zipper, but my mother is furious, demanding me to get money for the damage. Is that really necessary to get upset of something like this? I'm in my 20's and my brother moved out ages ago so I pay my stuff with my own money, so I don't understand my mother got so upset over it...

I'm a 25 year old guy. I'm single and don't have a girlfriend yet. But my Godfather who is 50 years old keeps saying every time he sees me that he is going to be my best man for my wedding in the future, and my dad keeps telling him "definitely." And they keep saying it's settled, done deal. They are being serious. I wouldn't want to have him as the best man, I would want to put a best friend closer to my age so the wedding is fun and exciting. But every time I mention it to my dad he keeps telling me it will be very rude and risk my Godfather and his family not talking to our family anymore. My dad also called me selfish. I told him "how is it selfish for trying to make a decision for my wedding!" I don't even have a girlfriend yet so I don't even know why they've been bringing this up for the past three-four years. I don't want to make this decision until the time comes.. My parents are basically saying there is no way out of it, and that it's only for one day, and that it's tradition. Are my parents right? If not, what would you say?

Ok this used to bother me a lot but it doesn't anymore because it's like a pattern and other people has the same thing going on with their mother's we moved to the South from Minnesota which is in the US sometimes she will use the word ma'am but other times she doesn't at all but hates the word and so on now the word is hell naw honestly that word is annoying a bit to me coming from her because I heard a lot of ghetto people saying it in my life young ghetto's she isn't no where near that but that's why it's a bit annoying is this a mental illness or is she just trying to seek attention? Because she'll also post on facebook a lot when she gets into her moods yes she has menopause could be that to I'm just a little curious is all.

I lost friends thanks to him. He lies that he doesn't talk crap about me, but my other friends and 2 cousins all tell me and they don't know each other, the same thing that my cousin is talking smack about me. My family and his family hate each other, so I can't contact his parents.

My mother and my husband got into an argument two days ago. The first night my husband slept in his car outside the house, but ever since he has been avoiding my mom in our home. He doesn't talk to me like we are on good terms but he doesn't ignore me either. The argument started after me and him exchanged words about something we disagreed on. but things were still ok. Later as he was walking up the stairs he overheard my mother tell our son something. he opened her door and asked her not to tell our son that we were fighting. He said she told him we were always fighting, she claimed she didn't say always but she did say we were fighting, she also said that my son asked why me and her were speaking loudly earlier, so she responded that it was not me and her fighting but me and my husband. the argument escalated and my husband said some things he was not supposed to say. My mom has a behavior on her own and she is difficult, but So does he, and I felt like he could have expressed himself without going overboard. his mother often says things in front of our son, she is the main reason why we are all angry at each other at this point. But he got upset, disrespected and stopped talking to my mother over her staying the obvious to our son. I understand where he comes from but I wish he would just apologize for going overboard. But his mother is backing him right now seeing that she dislikes my mother she is egging things on making sure he keeps this on. What do I do?

I'm a 25 year old man and my brother is 22 and severely autistic. He's unable to speak and he still plays with his toys. He almost behaves like a toddler. Anyway, my father died of lung cancer when I was only 12 years old. Since then, my brother became really dependant on our mother. He wants to be with him all the time and he can't sleep without him. But when I try to get close to him, he runs away from me and he starts screaming and crying! What's wrong with him? I always try to be nice to him. He even hates my mom when she tries to hug me or show her affection to me. He wants to be with her all the time and he can sleep without her* He can't*

He's popular in high school, I'm not. He badmouths behind my back, and acts friendly when I'm near or talk to him. When I'm not, he's spreading false rumors about me.

He's been eating at my crannies for long enough. I know he's 5 now but is it too late to send him to the abortion clinic to go on with the procedure and have them just off him there? oh but it's not moronic to kill a fetus. OK. thanks for clearing that up for me. Oh, silly me if only I thought of that and killed him 5 years earlier @===+++///??? Thats ok if it's unbelievable. It was unbelievable to me at first, too, until it happened. It left me in utter disbelief.

My mom yells at me all the time for simple mistakes that aren't even that bad. She blames me for everything wrong when it was actually something someone else did and I hate taking the blame all the time. I love my mom but her being so mean to me all the time makes me really not like her. She's smacked me a few times in the last few years and threatened to smack me today just cuz I rolled my eyes at her cuz I was annoyed. She is sometimes nice to me but a lot of the time she is mean. Am I over exaggerating? I'm a teenager and I really don't cause that much trouble to be yelled at like this

when I gain weight mom call me cow and that no man want fat wife. Mom said that if im beauty I get a rich husband and stuff but I think it not true. Mom also said if I smell bad then husband will cheat. But why mom is mean and put pressure on to be attractive?

Whenever you visit himself or the family he pretty much acts like youre indivisible unless he has to adress you for some reason. And when he talks to you on a rare occasion he doesnt look in your face.

Different countries have different school systems. As a result, kids start earlier or later depending on where they're from. I'm wondering if it effects how the general group acts. In one school, the 13 year olds are the oldest. In another school, the 13 year olds are the youngest. Will this effect how students tend to act around others, maturity-wise?

She went blind from glaucoma at 45. Her father ironically from an accident went blind and had nothing to do with genetics. I need help l love my mother but i need advice on what i should do. She is getting older as am i she will need support and i believe she cant live independently. But i have a life of my own. Please what should i do. P.S . I dont mean now but later. Shes married to my dad but basically divoriced together for financial reasons.

He is 22 and all of his friends are 19, 20 and 21. Why won't he hang out with people his own age? Isn't he too old for this?

I've been seeing this girl for a year an a half. She was in a 6 year relationship before me with her sons father. Her sons father was verbally and physically abusive and drank a lot. Her father thinks of this guy as the son he never had. He always sees nothing wrong with his physical abuse towards his daughter. The father is not a very loving type man and not very "fatherly" at all. Hes the type of guy that would cheat on her mom and put hands on her. In my eyes her father is a POS and not a man really at all. But it's still her father in her eyes. It makes it difficult bc she cant have me at any family functions like holidays with her family or get togethers. Her sister an brother are all OK with me. Her mother is even fine with being around me, just not if they father is around. I try to be understanding of her just still thinking her family is her family. But really none of her family is very supportive of anything she does and basically uses her for haircuts or help with financial things. Sometimes my GF gets really stressed and has moments were she let's all that negativity bring her down and she will question our relationship. Bc she thinks it will always be stressful and a pain with me not being able to do much family things with her side. And although she will say they arent great they are still her family. And she still wants to have time with them. Any word of advice how I can handle this without sound like a jerk? We have a very loving great relationship otherwis

I'm concerned about my mom. She always turns everything into an argument, and then will reflect it on ME, and ask why I started an argument. Of course my dad takes her side without really listening. And my sister takes their side until she's the one getting argued with. Today, I mentioned watching a documentary on hate groups on YouTube, and my mom says "oh I thought you didn't like politcs". I told her that hate groups aren't typical politics and she says "you see things so black and white", and proceeds to remind me of how I don't like to talk about Trump-related politics, even though the two are very different. She still called me a hypocrite. I remember once she argued with me for a long time and she then acted concerned and looked up bipolar symptoms, mentioning over and over again that she thought I was bipolar, acting worried and helpful. She says this because some days we fight a lot and she gets on my nerves, and some days we're fine. But I'm only like this with her, and she instigates a lot of it so my reactions are based on how she acts to me. Nonetheless she kept looking up symptoms. Is this normal behavior? I'm not in these moods for more than a day (and only with her) so I'm fine, but I hate how she throws it around constantly as some excuse to silence me and act concerned. She's around 45 so could it be menopause? She still menstruates very often but She's been very moody. She's always mad at me, my sister, or my brother who's in college and acts distance.

My grandpa birthday just passed. Everyone treats him like **** when he does the most for everyone. They talk behind his back. Leave him when he needs help. He's just a sweet old man. He spends so much money on our house And he doesn't live in it. He gives everyone what they want and lived a hard life. He has bad legs and lives in a dirty trailer. A present helping with that would be great I just can't think of anything. He really needs to keep his legs clean or he can lose them. He won't move cause he want to be close to us and not spend his money on the house cause then our house won't Get fixed which would be okay with me if he was happy. I only have 50 bucks so something in that price range. Thank you so so so much in advance.

I hardly see or get to talk to my brother. When we are all around he does a lot of talking to everyone but I don't sit and talk to him a ton or anything. No more than anyone else. I'm relatively quiet to begin with but when I'm around my family we are just all very silly with eachother. My brother's wife is like a dark cloud of negative energy whenever I'm around her. She cannot stand me and it's painfully obvious to me. She treats me like she wants me out of the family. It's so hard to describe the feeling I get from her. I would identify with being an empath and I feel very drained up to the following day any time I'm around her. She is only 23 or 24 so she is still young. But very immature and insecure. I don't know what to do. I hate this awful feeling I get. She's also an only child. I have a sister who is close to my age and I'm the oldest. I don't know if it's just that she is used to being the only one or what but she doesn't give my sister a hard time. However, my sister is a very outgoing person and kind of puts herself out there with her a lot and they're friends.

1st one probably no needs much money ,house ,etc who will be winner end of way,1st one or 2nd one ?

Long story short, I have a brother who is 24 and has special needs. He turns very aggressive and violent towards anyone near him. I am constantly scared of him everyday and my parents have to deal with him daily. He takes medications and it works for a while, my parents are not citizens and are still trying to figure out how to become one. But I'm not sure it will happen since they've tried before and my brother currently screams and turns violent towards my mother and she can't handle it as much anymore and I have a sister too. My dad can sometimes handle him with calming him down. A couple years ago he did something very bad and we had to call 911. My brother wasn't born here, and my parents were scared that they will go back and I don't want them to leave. Everyday is becoming a struggle with my brother and I want to know if there is somehow a way to have him in a center for special needs because a couple months ago he hit me with an object and ever since then I am so scared and cry when he comes near me. Please help I don't know what to do for my family I'm scared one day he will threaten my mom with a knife again.

I am told she was a mean and emotionally abusive woman especially to her kids and that the great-uncle is so much better with the woman he married two years ago. I don't know the people that well but see the great-uncle at reunions. It is not a close part of the family, I didn't even go to the great-aunt's funeral as my mother didn't want me to go cause of family hatred she had.

My Mom disowned her sister so I don't see why I can't disown my sister. Judy & Charlie · Hatred is a family value in my family, both my parents taught me it and taught me well.

My brother never wrote, called or saw his family for 20 years. He started coming on holidays four years ago and our mom is deceased for two. I am in the home he grew up in now. He never tells me when he is coming or leaving. Today I left for a breakfast and when I got back at 7 AM he was gone for the five hour drive to where he lives. Isn't it considerate to tell someone when you expect to arrive at their place or does he just not value me and my time?

If I have an argument with my parents and I keep it going, I am the one to be blamed for it and I apparently don't know how to just let things go. But when there is an argument and I try to end it and say lets just get of it, they keep going and I am being inconsiderate and don't want to view their points. I don't try to end the conversation before they state their points. I try to end it when the argument is basically repeating but I am being inconsiderate. Why are my parents, and other parents, being a hypocrite(harsh word I know) about this situation and how can I try to resolve it? It happens more than once and they always compare me to my brother as an insult but if I compare myself to him as in a fun way I get scolded. I am the younger sibling if that helps.

He refuses to hang out with people older than him

I'm a black guy in my early 20's. On a few occasions my sister, mom, or cousins would ask me about what would I want my hair to look like and I told them that I'm planning on getting my hair straightened one day. They all started being racist and would call me white or say that's white etc... I mean its my body who cares what I do but why do, but I don't understand why some black people have to be racist sometimes about stuff like that. And in my family there's a lot of racist stuff being said; I don't know why. But when they are around people they don't say what they say to each other to them or they whisper stuff to themselves so others won't hear. If I mention anything about my hair to my my mom that I want it differently like that she always gives this disgusting look or acts like she is ignoring me and says I don't want to hear it.

I doubt he is sleeping with her but the aunt and uncle are not divorced yet. They were married 14 years and have been separated since the beginning of the year.